Half of men would ditch woman who gained weight: poll
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It's easy for someone not "in love" with someone to say "theoretically" that they'd leave someone who gained weight....Men just don't think that hard about stuff, I'm sure the men in this study didn't take anything into consideration before answering ie Love, how hard/costly divorce/breaking up is, whether they were living together, had kids---the list goes on and on.....On the other hand, women probably did take all that into consideration before answering the question.....It's a simple fact that men under-think situations and women over-think them.....So with that in mind, this poll is totally invalid.
all the circumstances involved, including the amount of weight gained are irrelevant. the question is valid because its the PERCEPTION of the person answering it. this way, through a large sample size of 70,000 all of the bias is (theoretically) eliminated through randomization.0 -
I didn't look at the poll because I'm too lazy to copy the link, but I wonder what the status of the men who were polled current relationship is. I'm willing to bet that the majority of men would NOT leave their WIFE if she gained weight and that a large percentage of men would NOT leave a "baby momma" if she gained weight either.
As for the 1/2 of men that were polled I hope they enjoy their shallow hole because there is only room for one in there! 0 -
It's easy for someone not "in love" with someone to say "theoretically" that they'd leave someone who gained weight....Men just don't think that hard about stuff, I'm sure the men in this study didn't take anything into consideration before answering ie Love, how hard/costly divorce/breaking up is, whether they were living together, had kids---the list goes on and on.....On the other hand, women probably did take all that into consideration before answering the question.....It's a simple fact that men under-think situations and women over-think them.....So with that in mind, this poll is totally invalid.
all the circumstances involved, including the amount of weight gained are irrelevant. the question is valid because its the PERCEPTION of the person answering it. this way, through a large sample size of 70,000 all of the bias is (theoretically) eliminated through randomization.
The poll was done on ASKMEN.com, so that right there narrows your demographic/sample size drastically....How can that eliminate bias...ASKMEN.com has got to have a demographic of say 12-35 yr olds mostly....mostly single, probably on there looking at the model pics of the day...These guys aren't thinking things out fully...Heck, half of them probably clicked the most outrageous response just to be funny (don't act like you've never done that on an internet poll)....The women polled were polled on the Cosmopolitan website....I don't know if you've ever read that magazine, but it's pretty much a whole magazine dedicated to keeping yourself sexy and keeping your man happy..HAHA....0 -
The "real" problem:
Men get married expecting she won't change.
Women get married expecting to change him.
:laugh:
bwahaha...oh so true!!!!0 -
Well if my woman started to gain weight, I would help her get back on track by eating right and exercising.... would be supportive and not critical.... Now if she said I am going to eat what I want and not exercise and I don't care how much food I gain that would be a different story....0
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My boyfriend is EXTREMELY supportive when it comes to weight loss ( to the point where I get emotional at times) , and where I am currently at in my journey. I mean, he has his insecurities, (he wants to gain weight. He doesn't like how small he is.) But he says that none of that matters now that he knows that I love him.
The only "negative" thing ( and I don't even consider this remotely negative ) he's ever said about my weight loss is that "I wish that I could help you more. I want you to see yourself the way that I see you. Maybe then you'd understand that it isn't about your weight to me. I love you for YOU, not what you look like."
In a partnership, you're supposed to support each other. Help each other through hard times, even if that does mean losing weight, going to the gym, etc. No one is absolutely perfect. The men that leave their wives because they have unrealistic expectations of weight, shallow, etc - are not worth anyones time.0 -
Love is in the eye of the beholder. I guess if you met a girl and what was the biggest selling point was solely her looks then I could understand why it would happen but if you love them for more then their looks I assume you would love them for them but I would say their is a breaking point for everyone.
I actually know more girls that left their BF's over getting fat then I do guys leaving their GF's for getting fat.
I know my last X *****ed about my fluctuation over time from stocky when she met me to skinny, to stocky to skinny to fat to stocky0 -
I think the question also needs to be placed in context.
Whilst 50% of men polled may leave a woman if she gained weight, the poll also suggests that the majority of men see marriage as an institution worth preserving and intend to enter into it, look for a sense of loyalty above everything else in a woman (that is truth right there) as well as seeing family as the most important "status symbol" in their lives.
Drawing from this I think that if men are in a committed relationship the answer is much different in reality than when a man is single.0 -
I'm lucky my husband isn't one of the 48%. I met him at 117 lbs and got up to 181 before I started doing anything about it. He never said anything bad about it or acted like he wasn't attracted to me. I will say he has been extremely happy and supportive about me finally taking my weight loss sseriously! :-)0
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"But three-quarters of men surveyed said they consider sexting cheating."
I really really like this one! I swear you guys. So men say it's cheating eh? Every time I catch *one* in the act..haha they say oh it's nothing.. haha
that is bull *kitten*.. I love this.
So If a girl does it it's def cheating but a man it's nothing..haha enough said. That is all.
PS. I've gained since being in a relationship but yes we do live in a shallow world.. I have known several cases where it's not just the weight it's the laziness that follows.. and you don't have to be hugemongous either.. I'm talking a girl that used to be stealthy who just gained say like 50lbs. He left her because she was sleeping all day and not wanting to do anything. She had no energy..but this is just a survey and they haven't been put into a situation yet this is just would you or not..?0 -
This summer, more than 70,000 of you (and your female counterparts) responded to the 2011 Great Male Survey and the 2011 Great Female Survey on our partner site Cosmopolitan.com
So this report is based off the men who go to that website? Yeah, that's an accurate depiction of the American male. All you have to do is look around, there are a ton of great men who stick with their woman and try to help her. Surveys, studies, etc are so easy to manipulate.
I read this and shrugged while thinking "So I would probably never like a man who reads Cosmo...." HA HA0 -
Sounds about right.... So glad I met and married my husband at my heaviest! Although he's a total chubby chaser he assures me that he'd love me even if I did get skinny.0
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My hubby didn't leave me, and I didn't leave him. More weight, less weight, either way, we love eachother. 0
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My husband met me when I was a good 180lbs + and he has been VERY supportive of my weight loss. He is a sweetheart 0
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I gained weight after having both of my kids. AFTER. I didn't gain a whole lot during the pregnancies. But I have lost the weight both times for myself AND my husband because honestly.. you can't blame a guy for looking in other places at least once in awhile if you're not looking so hot yourself. I don't care if that's shallow. I've always wanted my man to want me more than anyone else. But honestly, if I had stayed that way for too long yea he probably would have ditched me!0
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In addition to relationship status being a factor in how you answer the question, I think there's also some "internet tough guy/millionnaire/supermodel" syndrome going on. It's easy to act like you'd leave your woman for gaining weight when the questioner is some random person taking a survey and you get to remain nameless and faceless. Entirely different thing if your woman asked you that question (or her friend or relative or someone who might report back to her).
But I think in general that is a very useless question. The circumstances surrounding the weight-gain matter
As for women, we all know women are more forgiving than men when it comes to looks, so I'll address the issue of being unemployed or not making very much money. Please note that these are just my opinions; I am not suggesting that all or even most women do or should feel the same way.
I believe work ethic tells you about 80% of what you need to know about a man. If he has a strong work ethic, he is most likely loyal, trustworthy, responsible, dependable, and is willing to make sacrifices for the people and things that are important to him. So yeah, I care whether or not a man is gainfully employed.
That said, I also realize that hard-working men do lose their jobs from time to time, so I would never leave a good man just because he got laid off. In fact, I would do whatever I could to pick up the slack and help in whatever way he needs. However, if he got laid off and took a lackadaisical approach to finding a new job, I'd think he wasn't serious about our future and his responsibility as a man to take care of his family, and I would have a real problem with that.
If it's just that he doesn't make much money, then all I care about is whether or not he's doing what he loves. If he's passionate about his work and he has chosen it because of that, then money isn't that big of a deal to me. I am well-educated, and I have a good job, and I am not at all opposed to working outside the home if that's what my family needs from me. But if he has had to settle for a low-paying crap job because he doesn't care enough to do what's necessary to get a better one, then I hardly think I'm the selfish one in that scenario.
My ex-boyfriend (of 6 years) proposed to me while he was unemployed and living with his parents. He had been out of college for a year and was not making any attempt at all to find work or his own place to live. Meanwhile, I was working 60 to 70 hour weeks and just beginning to climb the corporate ladder. I was truly insulted that he proposed to me under those circumstances because it was clear that marriage, to him, meant "Let's have a wedding and split the rent."
Again, circumstances matter.0 -
In other news, it turns out that half of all men are idiots. Hmmm, coincidence? I think not!
Agreed. The 52% of men who lied and said they wouldn't want to leave their woman if they gained weight.0 -
Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?
I don't think that's the relevant comparison. Might be more relevant to ask: would half of women leave a man if he lost his job and became bankrupt?
I've seen polls that suggest 75% of women would not marry an unemployed man, so definitely there are both shallow men and women out there.
Women are not being shallow by not marrying a man if he is unemployed...
A. Women (or anyone for that matter) would not want to support someone who isnt contributing any type of money to the relationship.
B. Not all, but most women would like to have childern at some point, therefore, there has to be income from both parties
C. Either way, men or women, who would want to have to pay for everything all the time
I agree wioth most things on this post about women being more insucre therefore when they gain weight it does more to the relationship then just the physical part, but you cant sit here and say someone would want to support the other person 24/70 -
My hubby didn't leave me, and I didn't leave him. More weight, less weight, either way, we love eachother.
Ditto! Fat or skinny we still have the best marriage out there! 0 -
I think there is such a double standard with weight. Men could be 200 lbs over weight and its fine, but if a girl is so much 5 lbs over weight the whole world is against her. I think its totally unfair. You see it everywhere, how its easier to lose weight if your a guy, so why do we get so much pressure put on us?! I think its crazy. Sorry for my rant, but its just the way I feel (:0
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We discussed this exact topic during a social psychology seminar last semester. This trend has been demonstrated in many studies; however, the issue here is how you interpret the data and without further study there are a plethora of explanations for this behaviour. In defence against the "half of men are shallow" hypothesis one must consider the attitudinal/mental reasons for gaining weight. While there are definitely men that like their women thin, and would not stay with someone if they didn't stay thin, for many men it seems to be more about the attitude about it. If a person is gaining weight are they stressed? Are they more irritable? Are they depressed? Etc. etc. The point is many of these men may not be choosing to leave a woman if they gained weight because they are fatter, but because they aren't acting like the person they fell in love with.
Also, there isn't as much of a double standard as one might think. There are a lot of studies that have shown that, as an average, women are just as shallow and sometimes even more shallow then men.0 -
Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?
I don't think that's the relevant comparison. Might be more relevant to ask: would half of women leave a man if he lost his job and became bankrupt?
I've seen polls that suggest 75% of women would not marry an unemployed man, so definitely there are both shallow men and women out there.
Women are not being shallow by not marrying a man if he is unemployed...
A. Women (or anyone for that matter) would not want to support someone who isnt contributing any type of money to the relationship.
B. Not all, but most women would like to have childern at some point, therefore, there has to be income from both parties
C. Either way, men or women, who would want to have to pay for everything all the time
I agree wioth most things on this post about women being more insucre therefore when they gain weight it does more to the relationship then just the physical part, but you cant sit here and say someone would want to support the other person 24/7
In general, I think its just as easy to ascribe negative characteristics to an overweight woman (lazy, not taking pride in her appearance, unhealthy, not willing to please her man, etc) as it is to ascribe negative characteristics to an unemployed man (lazy, not willing to contribute to the household, etc.)
Such over-generalizations ring hollow to me (in both cases).
A. I think a man is much more willing to date/marry an unemployed woman and "support" her than vice versa. This asymmetry strikes me as evidence that this rationale is fairly shallow. Its like saying, a man (or anyone for that matter) would not want to be in a relationship with a fat person who wasn't contributing any aesthetic beauty for the man's pleasure.
B. Lots of couples with children live on one income. Just when it's the woman not working, its not judged in the same way as vice versa (another indication its a shallow rationale). Still stay-at-home-dads are pretty commonplace anyways.
C. This strikes me as the same as A.0 -
Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?
I don't think that's the relevant comparison. Might be more relevant to ask: would half of women leave a man if he lost his job and became bankrupt?
I've seen polls that suggest 75% of women would not marry an unemployed man, so definitely there are both shallow men and women out there.
Women are not being shallow by not marrying a man if he is unemployed...
A. Women (or anyone for that matter) would not want to support someone who isnt contributing any type of money to the relationship.
B. Not all, but most women would like to have childern at some point, therefore, there has to be income from both parties
C. Either way, men or women, who would want to have to pay for everything all the time
I agree wioth most things on this post about women being more insucre therefore when they gain weight it does more to the relationship then just the physical part, but you cant sit here and say someone would want to support the other person 24/7
In general, I think its just as easy to ascribe negative characteristics to an overweight woman (lazy, not taking pride in her appearance, unhealthy, not willing to please her man, etc) as it is to ascribe negative characteristics to an unemployed man (lazy, not willing to contribute to the household, etc.)
Such over-generalizations ring hollow to me (in both cases).
A. I think a man is much more willing to date/marry an unemployed woman and "support" her than vice versa. This asymmetry strikes me as evidence that this rationale is fairly shallow. Its like saying, a man (or anyone for that matter) would not want to be in a relationship with a fat person who wasn't contributing any aesthetic beauty for the man's pleasure.
B. Lots of couples with children live on one income. Just when it's the woman not working, its not judged in the same way as vice versa (another indication its a shallow rationale). Still stay-at-home-dads are pretty commonplace anyways.
C. This strikes me as the same as A.
I agree with some of what you say, yes, it seems more acceptable for a women to be at home not working than a man.
The point that I have is though if you are married (or not married) finances will play a bigger part in your relationship than gaining weight.
If you have a problem with your significant other gaining weight you have bigger problems than just the weight gain.0 -
I think there is such a double standard with weight. Men could be 200 lbs over weight and its fine, but if a girl is so much 5 lbs over weight the whole world is against her. I think its totally unfair. You see it everywhere, how its easier to lose weight if your a guy, so why do we get so much pressure put on us?! I think its crazy. Sorry for my rant, but its just the way I feel (:
It's easier to lose weight for a guy according to whom? Losing more weight =/= losing more body weight percentage.0 -
IS IT IMPORTANT FOR A GIRLFRIEND TO HAVE "WIFE POTENTIAL"?
48% Somewhat, though I won't break up with her if I realize that she isn't a potential wife.
I also found this question interesting. Hubby and I had a long debate over this when discussing his brother and now ex-girlfriend. Apparently hubby's brother told him that he wasn't going to marry the current gf and when I inquired as to why he was still with her there was a long argument that essentially resulted in male theory "that if it's going well then why mess up a good thing?". My response involved why would I spend all that emotional time and energy on someone I wasn't planning to stay with. I also think it's appalling for someone to know they don't want to marry a person, but not tell the significant other and essentially as far as I'm concerned lead them on... wasting their time. Needless to say hubby and I could have another hour long debate on this and still not agree lol.
Needless to say less than a week after this conversation the brother called and said the gf had asked where it was all going and he had no answer for her... they broke up and have now gone their separate way. I would bet $100 that if he'd told her when he realized she wasn't the one she would have left then.
Why do guys stay with someone they know they won't ever marry?! Am I the only person who thinks this is just stupid and wastes time and emotions?0 -
IS IT IMPORTANT FOR A GIRLFRIEND TO HAVE "WIFE POTENTIAL"?
48% Somewhat, though I won't break up with her if I realize that she isn't a potential wife.
I also found this question interesting. Hubby and I had a long debate over this when discussing his brother and now ex-girlfriend. Apparently hubby's brother told him that he wasn't going to marry the current gf and when I inquired as to why he was still with her there was a long argument that essentially resulted in male theory "that if it's going well then why mess up a good thing?". My response involved why would I spend all that emotional time and energy on someone I wasn't planning to stay with. I also think it's appalling for someone to know they don't want to marry a person, but not tell the significant other and essentially as far as I'm concerned lead them on... wasting their time. Needless to say hubby and I could have another hour long debate on this and still not agree lol.
Needless to say less than a week after this conversation the brother called and said the gf had asked where it was all going and he had no answer for her... they broke up and have now gone their separate way. I would bet $100 that if he'd told her when he realized she wasn't the one she would have left then.
Why do guys stay with someone they know they won't ever marry?! Am I the only person who thinks this is just stupid and wastes time and emotions?
Because ***** is cheaper when you don't have to pull out all the stops like in the first month or so of dating. Also, not everyone is looking for a relationship that's going to last the rest of their lives (especially younger people).0 -
IS IT IMPORTANT FOR A GIRLFRIEND TO HAVE "WIFE POTENTIAL"?
48% Somewhat, though I won't break up with her if I realize that she isn't a potential wife.
I also found this question interesting. Hubby and I had a long debate over this when discussing his brother and now ex-girlfriend. Apparently hubby's brother told him that he wasn't going to marry the current gf and when I inquired as to why he was still with her there was a long argument that essentially resulted in male theory "that if it's going well then why mess up a good thing?". My response involved why would I spend all that emotional time and energy on someone I wasn't planning to stay with. I also think it's appalling for someone to know they don't want to marry a person, but not tell the significant other and essentially as far as I'm concerned lead them on... wasting their time. Needless to say hubby and I could have another hour long debate on this and still not agree lol.
Needless to say less than a week after this conversation the brother called and said the gf had asked where it was all going and he had no answer for her... they broke up and have now gone their separate way. I would bet $100 that if he'd told her when he realized she wasn't the one she would have left then.
Why do guys stay with someone they know they won't ever marry?! Am I the only person who thinks this is just stupid and wastes time and emotions?
Do u regret relationships you've had in the past? Just cuz something ultimately fails it doesn't mean it wasn't worth it...
Just enjoy the ride ;p
Figuratively and literally0 -
ya, they would. that is not a surprise, is it? A lot of them don't want to even begin a relationship with a woman who is too fat in their opinion. Even if they are fat themselves.0
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Pttthhhbbtttt. Askmen.com. I've read that site. Among my friends (male and female), we call it, "Askmen... then do the opposite."
It's a site catering that unique sub-culture of men* who are ridiculously insecure, and yet suffer from delusions of grandeur.
* commonly referred to as "wankers" or "douches."
i thought i was the only one who called people a douche. lol.0 -
Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?
actually, probably not. women are much less visually-motivated to enter, stay in or leave a relationship.0
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