Half of men would ditch woman who gained weight: poll

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  • strbryt
    strbryt Posts: 488 Member
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    The "real" problem:

    Men get married expecting she won't change.
    Women get married expecting to change him.

    :laugh:

    bahaha very funny and a bit true. On the flip side I married a wonderful really thin man and I was super overweight. He loves me no matter what. I have lost a toal of 73 lbs so far and to be honest I am not sure he really even notices or just doesn't care. He didn't marry me for my fat but for my heart.
  • Marazene
    Marazene Posts: 97
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    I'm going to try to defend men here (even though i'm a woman)

    MAYBE it's not about being shallow, or even about the weight gain. MAYBE the woman just perceives it that way.

    Sometimes when someone gains weight, with that weight comes insecurity, jealousy, low self esteem, depression, all of which can be VERY hard to deal with on a daily basis. When someone becomes insecure, jealous, depressed, etc it affects their daily living and that of those around them. It's not easy to live with someone who hates themselves (for whatever reason).

    It's not always about the weight of the person, but what comes with the gain. There can be a lot of negative side effects to weight gain that have nothing to do with appearance. Some of which, could ruin relationships.

    I agree 100%!!
  • manorexicmarshmallow
    manorexicmarshmallow Posts: 80 Member
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    Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?

    I don't think that's the relevant comparison. Might be more relevant to ask: would half of women leave a man if he lost his job and became bankrupt?

    I've seen polls that suggest 75% of women would not marry an unemployed man, so definitely there are both shallow men and women out there.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    If a guy broke up with me because I gained weight then good f*cking riddance.
  • AndrewTub
    AndrewTub Posts: 86 Member
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    Yea I know lot's of guys and I'd say around 1 in 10 are that shallow ! Not 1 in 2 surely or maybe I just know decent people !

    I've seen poll where like most women said they wouldn't date a guy with a lower salary than 20,000 etc as well :/
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Yea I know lot's of guys and I'd say around 1 in 10 are that shallow ! Not 1 in 2 surely or maybe I just know decent people !

    I've seen poll where like most women said they wouldn't date a guy with a lower salary than 20,000 etc as well :/

    Exactly. How many times do you see a guy who makes good coin with a girl that is way out of his league.
  • ShifuYaku
    ShifuYaku Posts: 504 Member
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    I worked in market research so I know how easily misleading polls like this can be; First of all, how old are they? Young men can be shallow, but they grow out of it, so age must be taken into account. Second, if the men aren't or haven't been in love before they might not realise weight doesn't matter as much - a man who's just had casual relationships doesn't have the same experience as a man who is truly in love with his partner, who probably wouldn't leave due to weight gain. And we don't know what kinda guy it is - if it's someone that works out a lot they probably would consider weight control more important than a man who wasn't into exercise etc. Also, how much weight we talking? I mean I'm in a good relationship but I'm not in love with him yet, and honestly if he put on like 10 stone I probably would consider leaving.

    Just sayin.


    70,000 men were polled from across canada, us, uk, and australia so i believe there was a good cross-section of age.
    i believe ~40% of the men polled answered they were 'single' - you can draw your own conclusions.

    edit; the validity of the poll hasnt come into question. this poll is carried on an anual basis and has been quoted by CNN, reuters and many other legit sources.

    What about men from other countries? I think they have some say too...>_> My boyfriend isn't American.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I'm going to try to defend men here (even though i'm a woman)

    MAYBE it's not about being shallow, or even about the weight gain. MAYBE the woman just perceives it that way.

    Sometimes when someone gains weight, with that weight comes insecurity, jealousy, low self esteem, depression, all of which can be VERY hard to deal with on a daily basis. When someone becomes insecure, jealous, depressed, etc it affects their daily living and that of those around them. It's not easy to live with someone who hates themselves (for whatever reason).

    It's not always about the weight of the person, but what comes with the gain. There can be a lot of negative side effects to weight gain that have nothing to do with appearance. Some of which, could ruin relationships.

    I would like to add, that when I was at my heaviest I was a b*tch and I was anti-social. If I had been dating me I would have dumped me. Not saying it's ok, but I think that when people gain weight their personality changes, just like it does when you lose weight.

    Someone asked about women sticking around with a guy who gained weight: I can't tell you how many skinny women in my church have husbands who ballooned.

    Someone else mentioned that woman would marry an unemployed man and thus were shallow: I've dated unemployed guys and I learned something. Generally there is a reason they're unemployed. In my experience it has been a combination of thinking he deserved more pay, that he was 'too good' for entry level jobs...and I am just straight up never dating another unemployed guy, it is a drain on your wallet, and your stability. I wouldn't dump a guy because he suddenly became unemployed either, but employment is pretty much essential.
  • LizC26
    LizC26 Posts: 319 Member
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    It's easy for someone not "in love" with someone to say "theoretically" that they'd leave someone who gained weight....Men just don't think that hard about stuff, I'm sure the men in this study didn't take anything into consideration before answering ie Love, how hard/costly divorce/breaking up is, whether they were living together, had kids---the list goes on and on.....On the other hand, women probably did take all that into consideration before answering the question.....It's a simple fact that men under-think situations and women over-think them.....So with that in mind, this poll is totally invalid.
  • BAMA66
    BAMA66 Posts: 240
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    Would half of women leave a man if gained weight?

    I don't think that's the relevant comparison. Might be more relevant to ask: would half of women leave a man if he lost his job and became bankrupt?

    I've seen polls that suggest 75% of women would not marry an unemployed man, so definitely there are both shallow men and women out there.

    100% agree
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
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    It's easy for someone not "in love" with someone to say "theoretically" that they'd leave someone who gained weight....Men just don't think that hard about stuff, I'm sure the men in this study didn't take anything into consideration before answering ie Love, how hard/costly divorce/breaking up is, whether they were living together, had kids---the list goes on and on.....On the other hand, women probably did take all that into consideration before answering the question.....It's a simple fact that men under-think situations and women over-think them.....So with that in mind, this poll is totally invalid.

    all the circumstances involved, including the amount of weight gained are irrelevant. the question is valid because its the PERCEPTION of the person answering it. this way, through a large sample size of 70,000 all of the bias is (theoretically) eliminated through randomization.
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
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    I didn't look at the poll because I'm too lazy to copy the link, but I wonder what the status of the men who were polled current relationship is. I'm willing to bet that the majority of men would NOT leave their WIFE if she gained weight and that a large percentage of men would NOT leave a "baby momma" if she gained weight either. :smile: As for the 1/2 of men that were polled I hope they enjoy their shallow hole because there is only room for one in there!
  • LizC26
    LizC26 Posts: 319 Member
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    It's easy for someone not "in love" with someone to say "theoretically" that they'd leave someone who gained weight....Men just don't think that hard about stuff, I'm sure the men in this study didn't take anything into consideration before answering ie Love, how hard/costly divorce/breaking up is, whether they were living together, had kids---the list goes on and on.....On the other hand, women probably did take all that into consideration before answering the question.....It's a simple fact that men under-think situations and women over-think them.....So with that in mind, this poll is totally invalid.

    all the circumstances involved, including the amount of weight gained are irrelevant. the question is valid because its the PERCEPTION of the person answering it. this way, through a large sample size of 70,000 all of the bias is (theoretically) eliminated through randomization.

    The poll was done on ASKMEN.com, so that right there narrows your demographic/sample size drastically....How can that eliminate bias...ASKMEN.com has got to have a demographic of say 12-35 yr olds mostly....mostly single, probably on there looking at the model pics of the day...These guys aren't thinking things out fully...Heck, half of them probably clicked the most outrageous response just to be funny (don't act like you've never done that on an internet poll)....The women polled were polled on the Cosmopolitan website....I don't know if you've ever read that magazine, but it's pretty much a whole magazine dedicated to keeping yourself sexy and keeping your man happy..HAHA....
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    The "real" problem:

    Men get married expecting she won't change.
    Women get married expecting to change him.

    :laugh:

    bwahaha...oh so true!!!!
  • glenr79
    glenr79 Posts: 283 Member
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    Well if my woman started to gain weight, I would help her get back on track by eating right and exercising.... would be supportive and not critical.... Now if she said I am going to eat what I want and not exercise and I don't care how much food I gain that would be a different story....
  • sunshinesonata
    sunshinesonata Posts: 241 Member
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    My boyfriend is EXTREMELY supportive when it comes to weight loss ( to the point where I get emotional at times) , and where I am currently at in my journey. I mean, he has his insecurities, (he wants to gain weight. He doesn't like how small he is.) But he says that none of that matters now that he knows that I love him.

    The only "negative" thing ( and I don't even consider this remotely negative ) he's ever said about my weight loss is that "I wish that I could help you more. I want you to see yourself the way that I see you. Maybe then you'd understand that it isn't about your weight to me. I love you for YOU, not what you look like."

    In a partnership, you're supposed to support each other. Help each other through hard times, even if that does mean losing weight, going to the gym, etc. No one is absolutely perfect. The men that leave their wives because they have unrealistic expectations of weight, shallow, etc - are not worth anyones time.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Love is in the eye of the beholder. I guess if you met a girl and what was the biggest selling point was solely her looks then I could understand why it would happen but if you love them for more then their looks I assume you would love them for them but I would say their is a breaking point for everyone.

    I actually know more girls that left their BF's over getting fat then I do guys leaving their GF's for getting fat.

    I know my last X *****ed about my fluctuation over time from stocky when she met me to skinny, to stocky to skinny to fat to stocky
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I think the question also needs to be placed in context.

    Whilst 50% of men polled may leave a woman if she gained weight, the poll also suggests that the majority of men see marriage as an institution worth preserving and intend to enter into it, look for a sense of loyalty above everything else in a woman (that is truth right there) as well as seeing family as the most important "status symbol" in their lives.

    Drawing from this I think that if men are in a committed relationship the answer is much different in reality than when a man is single.
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
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    I'm lucky my husband isn't one of the 48%. I met him at 117 lbs and got up to 181 before I started doing anything about it. He never said anything bad about it or acted like he wasn't attracted to me. I will say he has been extremely happy and supportive about me finally taking my weight loss sseriously! :-)
  • PixieThin
    PixieThin Posts: 57
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    "But three-quarters of men surveyed said they consider sexting cheating."

    I really really like this one! I swear you guys. So men say it's cheating eh? Every time I catch *one* in the act..haha they say oh it's nothing.. haha

    that is bull *kitten*.. I love this. <3

    So If a girl does it it's def cheating but a man it's nothing..haha enough said. That is all. ;)

    PS. I've gained since being in a relationship but yes we do live in a shallow world.. I have known several cases where it's not just the weight it's the laziness that follows.. and you don't have to be hugemongous either.. I'm talking a girl that used to be stealthy who just gained say like 50lbs. He left her because she was sleeping all day and not wanting to do anything. She had no energy..but this is just a survey and they haven't been put into a situation yet this is just would you or not..?

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