Something the local radio station posted

Slimithy

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

RyonsLions2

Slimithy has got it! I completely agree with him. You da man!! :laugh: LOVE never fails.

Jennjenn1974

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

Then you are a rarity, my friend. And I commend you

SueInAz

This poll talks about girlfriends and boyfriends not about husbands and wives. If you're with someone you aren't married to yet, and they let themselves go, that does say something about how things will go once the relationship gets to the committed stage, doesn't it? This is totally hypothetical since I've been married for 23 years, but I would never date someone who smoked or did drugs and if I were dating someone who took up either of those in the middle of the relationship, it would be a deal breaker for me, too. I'd feel the same way about taking care of their health. Besides, a guy gains weight because he becomes less active and/or eats and drinks more. Would I want to date a guy who does nothing but eat, drink and lounge on the sofa all day? Probably not.

I also think that men are more focused on the physical appearance of their SOs (in general) than women are, so the results of this poll don't surprise me so much.

Slimithy

Slimithy has got it! I completely agree with him. You da man!! :laugh: LOVE never fails.

Thank you, but we fail daily... We just don't stop trying.

Cherilea

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

Then you are a rarity, my friend. And I commend you

I agree! And that is what love is all about, isn't it?