I got the dreaded talk last night

Grimmerick

I am sure quite a few of you know the one. The is this fitness thing gonna take over your whole life talk. He says you're on the phone logging everytime you eat and you exercise almost everyday (by the way I usually execise 20-40 minutes 5-6 days a week). This is very discouraging to me because I have to log my food everytime I eat and aren't you normally supposed to try to get some form of exercise almost everyday as part of a healthy lifestyle. He doesn't diet and he doesn't exercise at all and he's really gonna start ticking me off if this becomes an issue for him. I don't nix plans with him to log food or exercise, in fact other than that I am not sitting on the couch watching tv with him every minute of the evening this doesn't effect him at all. I don't try to make him eat healthy or try to make him exercise. I need some advice on how to deal with this?!

frubjious

Did you try telling him what you just told us?

cheeksv

If you log at the table on your phone that may be a problem. I try to save all my logging for when I am home or alone. I feel like using my phone in general at the table with company or as a guest is rude. Other than that....you have to be obsessed and dedicated to make this work, your diet and exercise routine I mean. It is the way is has to be. You said he does neither so it is just new to him that's all, a ting he has never had to experience full force and right in front of him. Give him more time and maybe do some stuff together?

Maggie_Pie1

Is he overweight? If so, I'm wondering if he might be a little jealous at your success and is subconsciously sabotaging you?

Texas501

He may have some personal issues that he needs to recognize and address himself. He may be scared that you will improve your looks and have other men stare at you, admire you more. Also, if he sees that you're improving, and he himself is not, he may feel threatened that you'd leave him for a slimmer sexier model. You guys really need to talk and you really need to reassure him that he is a great guy and that you love him.

MarchelleLynne

Sorry your not getting any support, please dont get discouraged!! keep up the hard work....maybe wait to log your food until later after your meal.

catwrangler

You are making him feel guilty. Are you married to him?

missxlaur

you keep doing what you're doing! he should be supportive that you're maintaining such a healthy lifestyle! it's not like you're not eating and over-exercising! it's not like you have a problem. you're just keeping track of what you're eating so that you can be conscious of what you're putting into your body. there is NOTHING wrong with that. in fact, EVERYTHING is RIGHT with that! obesity is so rampant because people are not conscious of what they eat and how it impacts their body, and they don't exercise. this website encourages people to seek the healthy lifestyle choices of being active and eating well. he should be supporting you in this! not tearing you down. this is so upsetting to me! i'm sorry you had to go through this

tuneses

I'm sorry he's not more supportive. The only advice I have is to sit down with him and explain to him why it's important to you. Tell him exactly how the extra weight affects you and how you feel about loosing it. Personally constant unhappyness about my weight made me less available emotionally. Loosing the weight makes me happy and give me more energy which reflects directly on my whole family.

bluegirl10

you keep doing what you're doing! he should be supportive that you're maintaining such a healthy lifestyle! it's not like you're not eating and over-exercising! it's not like you have a problem. you're just keeping track of what you're eating so that you can be conscious of what you're putting into your body. there is NOTHING wrong with that. in fact, EVERYTHING is RIGHT with that! obesity is so rampant because people are not conscious of what they eat and how it impacts their body, and they don't exercise. this website encourages people to seek the healthy lifestyle choices of being active and eating well. he should be supporting you in this! not tearing you down. this is so upsetting to me! i'm sorry you had to go through this

Yes, this!

rainyday99

He needs to get int he game with you... you have to position it that you need his support to be successful - you give up logging when your eating and give him the attention he needs - and he gives up nagging you and starts supporting you. My hubby signed up for MFP when I did because we need to be on the same page to be succesful - we are both over weight however it shouldnt matter - everyone - skinny or not - needs to be healthy... I would have a heart to heart with your boo

jamesysmom

Well lets see, doesnt he realize that a healthier you means you will have more energy for other "activities' sometimes if you approach it that way they seem to be much more understanding, at least in my case that is. Im lucky however mine hasent started whining about my walking he actually goes with me but im sure in time it will probably happen . Good luck hope this helps

slybaby

Tell him this is for you: a healthy and happy you!

You're worth this! We all are!

Unfortunatly, sometimes, people want to loose weight to be accepted and loved by others...we must love ourselves first!

Chin up!
Best of luck to you:flowerforyou:

JeffGDDG

:-( I am no expert for sure but I have told my wife that I am totally committed to this and that I have to make it a priority so I can succeed. I've also told her that she and the rest of the family are very important to me and a huge part of the reasons I want to improve myself. I want to be around and active a long time, but its them I want to be around and active with. Keep it real and speak with love. Invite him to walk with you sometimes but be ok if he doesn't. I hope this works out for you. I think if you keep at it long enough and get good results you may just inspire him to get up off the couch too.

RagtimeLady

Tell him this isn't about HIM, it's about YOU trying to get healthy! Losing weight usually involves major lifestyle changes and paying attention to what you're doing and what you're eating. Funny how some men get jealous of women paying attention to themselves rather than them! I think some men, while they fantasize about having a trophy on their arm, would rather their women would not be attractive to others or confident in themselves. Yikes.

sc1572

Is he overweight? If so, I'm wondering if he might be a little jealous at your success and is subconsciously sabotaging you?

^yes, this could be the case! it happened to me with a good friend before. however, it may just be that he truly is worried about you and wants to make sure you're okay. try telling him what you told us.

perne11

I usually eat dinner at my parents house and my mom is the same way. She is always saying something about either my eating habits, the fact that I'm logging, or simply implying that I'm obsessed. It can be very annoying, but I’m on a mission!

quichebradford

I think you should explain to him how important this is to you and that's why you're so dedicated to it. The benefits far outweigh the sacrifice you're making right now. And nothing is changing about the time you spend together so it shouldn't be a big deal. Maybe if he knows he you feel about it, he'll be ok.

jgrice

He may feel threatened by your new outlook on life and dedication to change. Look for ways to offer reassurance that your love for him is solid. Talk to him about your motivation for the changes and try to find a common ground.

Sometimes in a relationship if one partner begins to make changes to the status quo either good or bad, it can drive the other away. Very open communication is the key to happiness in relationships.

ninerbuff

My wife drives me crazy sometimes. But that's part of being in a relationship. Your routine is different now, so when your routine changed, it may have screwed up what he was used to. Don't stop logging by all means if it keeps you consistent, but you need to let him know that this is something you're serious about and are going to continue.

giaciccone

If you log at the table on your phone that may be a problem. I try to save all my logging for when I am home or alone. I feel like using my phone in general at the table with company or as a guest is rude. Other than that....you have to be obsessed and dedicated to make this work, your diet and exercise routine I mean. It is the way is has to be. You said he does neither so it is just new to him that's all, a ting he has never had to experience full force and right in front of him. Give him more time and maybe do some stuff together?

See, I think it's rude, too, but only if you're doing something like texting a friend, answering emails or making a phone call. However, I recently went out to dinner with my whole family & was logging right in front of them. Most of them asked, "Why are you on your phone right now? Put it away!" But then I explained that I was just tracking my food as I was eating it. My mom looked at me, nodded & told me to go ahead. She was actually really proud of me because I'm sticking with counting my calories & intake. My Dad even said something - which, sometimes it's hard to get that kind of "I'm proud of you" statement out of my dad.

Honestly, I know it SEEMS rude at first, but if you explain yourself - to most people anyway, because I'm sure you've explained to him with no budging on his attitude - they don't hate you. In fact, a lot of people admire it. It shows dedication - plus, it's not like you're on it the entire night! I'm on there logging my food for 3-4 minutes TOPS!