My bf and chics in bikinis.

camy_chick

i think most every woman feels that way at some point in time in there relationships. i know i do quite often. most guys, at least in my opinion, will sit and stare at those "hot" girls. but i don't think too much about it, because who are they going home with? who do they give their loving to? who do the spend their time with? YOU YOU YOU!

he's with you. he wants you. he loves you. those other girls are just eye candy, you are his candy! and no matter if you don't think you are as good looking as those other girls, there is something beautiful about you that he sees, that those other girls don't have.

and i do have to say i like what swanny320 said "However, should you choose to stay, turn it around on him and CONSTANTLY comment on men hotter than him." < that would be funny.

Rye631

On one hand, it's disrepectful the way he is doing it. On the other hand, as a guy it's damn near impossible not to look. He still thinks about you when he's alone or at work or doing whatever. That chick on the beach is long forgotten, but you're always in his heart.

heresmyinsidevoice

No matter what size you are, there's always going to be those moments of insecurity. I get feeling insecure too if I'm in a group full of beautiful women with great perky size D's at the smallest and these little bitty waists and butts you could bounce quarters off of. Like you, I am the complete opposite - I have a size A34 chest and wear a size medium to large pants - in other words, a classic pear. But sometimes you gotta work with what's been given to you. I know I am not about to go buy boobs because society dictates to me that I should have them. Yes, I know I've got a little junk in the trunk, but all that I'm here for is to be the healthiest and fittest I can be, regardless of my shape. We all can't be expected to fit into one cookie cutter size.

As for your man oogling those women at the beach - don't take it too seriously. There's obviously a reason why he's with you instead of one of them. Same goes for women - hey - we look, don't we? I know I do! I won't lie! My man isn't all chiseled like one of those hunky muscle bound guys in calendars or the guys that live at the gym, but that doesn't negate that he's sexy (I do believe I have good taste). He has characteristics in his face and build that are truly unique and I love that about him. I think us ladies really put too much emphasis on guys' looking and assuming that means wanting. Totally not true.

This is how I've always looked at it. When faced with that issue, I say to myself, "She's a girl that all the guys wanna f**k. I'm a woman that this guy wants to make love to."

hyenagirl

It's not disrespectful to oogle at others, that's human nature, one of the hardest to control. It IS disrespectful to make comments in front of your partner. Talk to him, maybe to him it's not big deal and he's unaware that you're not comfortable with this. Guys can be TOTALLY oblivious and need to be told what's going on. They are in no means mind-readers and can't even read simple body language like a scowl the majority of the time.

I love my boyfriend, we oogle guys together, but we have totally different taste in men, heh. There's only a handful of guys we're both attracted to. We're very open and comfortable with each other and don't feel uncomfortable if the other talks about what features they liked on a beach body they saw.

espinozAgal

Boys will be boys, but they don't need to be disrespectful! Just communicate with him how you feel about it. I'm sure you are the apple of his eye, but around other guys he needs to be one of the guys. Saying that... Don't let him take advantage of you being a little insecure and jealous. WE ALL ARE a little insecure and jealous at one time or another. Remind him he has someone great and i'm sure he will respond with "i know" that is if he is mature enough to understand the situation.

kbarry90

Whenever my fiance does something I don't like and I know if I did it he would be mad at me for it. I ask him "how would you feel if I did that to you and the situation was the other way around?" He then sees it my way says sorry and doesn't do it anymore.

TheShelterCat

It's normal to look but staring and/or checking them out in front of you is not cool if you arent ok with it. Since gaining a bunch of weight I always catch my boyfriend checking girls out **or at least I think I do**. I've thought about it a lot and wonder why I never noticed in in the beginning. Am I so hideous now, he enjoys looking at prettier girls in short shorts???

Maybe he's gotten comfortable and looks now and then but after thinking about it (way more than I should), I think it's partly in my head because I'm so self concious about myself and I'm paranoid that he thinks every other girl is prettier than me.

I think that's why I'm so focused on where his eyes are at now. I think once I start getting back in shape, I wont be so worried that he's noticing a hot girl because I'm a hottie too.

Regardless, YOU are gorgeous and I hope you see that and portray the confidence a beautiful girl like you should have.

Good luck on your journey!!!

ladybugss

You are amazingly beautiful. Get a new BF

funnygrrl

I know he loves me and everything, its just how the whole situation makes me feel. I am obviously being jealous, but I just feel bad.

sweetie, if he loved you, he would realize how great you are, and realize he has a hot chick himelf. and you shouldn't be the one feeling bad! he should be ashamed of the way his actions are making you feel. point out how obvious he's being and how his actions are making you feel. if he continues, he clearly doesn't care how upset this is making you, and i say kick him to the curb.
and never feel bad for the way you, and always remember how beautiful you are!

mommyoftwins05

No matter what size you are, there's always going to be those moments of insecurity. I get feeling insecure too if I'm in a group full of beautiful women with great perky size D's at the smallest and these little bitty waists and butts you could bounce quarters off of. Like you, I am the complete opposite - I have a size A34 chest and wear a size medium to large pants - in other words, a classic pear. But sometimes you gotta work with what's been given to you. I know I am not about to go buy boobs because society dictates to me that I should have them. Yes, I know I've got a little junk in the trunk, but all that I'm here for is to be the healthiest and fittest I can be, regardless of my shape. We all can't be expected to fit into one cookie cutter size.

As for your man oogling those women at the beach - don't take it too seriously. There's obviously a reason why he's with you instead of one of them. Same goes for women - hey - we look, don't we? I know I do! I won't lie! My man isn't all chiseled like one of those hunky muscle bound guys in calendars or the guys that live at the gym, but that doesn't negate that he's sexy (I do believe I have good taste). He has characteristics in his face and build that are truly unique and I love that about him. I think us ladies really put too much emphasis on guys' looking and assuming that means wanting. Totally not true.

This is how I've always looked at it. When faced with that issue, I say to myself, "She's a girl that all the guys wanna f**k. I'm a woman that this guy wants to make love to."

I love how you put it!! I am small chested like you and it bugs me..my fiancee will look at big chested girls ect.. but he said he's a legs guy... Also Yes so often I do look at guys.. But I won't comment about them in front of my fiancee...I dont think its the fact he looks..I think its b/c he comments with me there

tanyamelliott

Think this is a common frustration among women who have low body confidence. I have felt this wy for years an I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and he never looks at the girls...I do!! Because I obese over the tall skinny tan model like women that have a completely different body frame than I do at 5'2". I will say oh my gosh babe what if I looked like that!?;) in a somewhat jealous/joking way and he always says Id love you no matter what!<3 even if you got big:) haha an I've always complained to him about how I feel fat and hate my body but the one thing he ( and most people I've talked to) thinks the sexiest tthing is confidence. If you feel uncomfortable around the skinny girls remember they too have insecurities and focus on what you love about yourself. And as everyone else had said...he is with you, not them. But if you can communicate that it bothers you without seeming like you are jealous it is a goof idea to talk about it. If he doeant respect you enough in front of you...then what the heck!!! You're beautiful and you deserve his undivided attention!

otr12

I stare at girls butts at the track.

While you are with your gf?

I am a heterosexual married woman. I'm just pointing out that they're hard to not stare at. Doesn't mean I want to touch it. I have no interest in knowing the person attached to said butt. They come in so many different shapes, sizes and varieties and move in such fascinating ways. They're just interesting to look at.

young1726

First of all, I think people telling you that your bf is awful and you should dump him is totally uncalled for. We can't judge him and your relationship off of this one short blurb. I think that is disrespectful. You said he treats you well and you know he loves you.

Second, there is no way any one of us will keep a guy from looking at other girls. Heck, even girls as gorgeous as Jessica Simpson and Shania Twain have issues with this. It's natural to check out someone we think is attractive. Notice I said "we". Girls do it too. I check out guys that have nice, ripped bodies. But does that mean I want them? No. I am married to the man I want. He doesn't have the perfect cut out body, but I love him for who he is. Just like I don't have the perfect cut out body, but I know he loves me for who I am. I know he checks out the hot girls...but hey even I glance their direction. Don't you? If he hasn't given you a reason to have trust issues then don't have trust issues. That in itself will cause problems.

Third, staring, oogling and going on about how hot the girls are is different than a quick glance check out and I can see how that can make you feel uncomfortable. Confront him and let him know that you that you understand that he's going to check out the hot girls but making a show of it doesn't make you feel good. Tell him you know he cares for you and that's not the issue, but maybe he can be a little more subtle with his check outs and maybe he can tell his friends to tone it down a little since he has the one he wants.

Hope all works out and that you don't make any rash decisions based on people jumping to conclusions on MFP!

hstallings13

First of all, I think people telling you that your bf is awful and you should dump him is totally uncalled for. We can't judge him and your relationship off of this one short blurb. I think that is disrespectful. You said he treats you well and you know he loves you.

Second, there is no way any one of us will keep a guy from looking at other girls. Heck, even girls as gorgeous as Jessica Simpson and Shania Twain have issues with this. It's natural to check out someone we think is attractive. Notice I said "we". Girls do it too. I check out guys that have nice, ripped bodies. But does that mean I want them? No. I am married to the man I want. He doesn't have the perfect cut out body, but I love him for who he is. Just like I don't have the perfect cut out body, but I know he loves me for who I am. I know he checks out the hot girls...but hey even I glance their direction. Don't you? If he hasn't given you a reason to have trust issues then don't have trust issues. That in itself will cause problems.

Third, staring, oogling and going on about how hot the girls are is different than a quick glance check out and I can see how that can make you feel uncomfortable. Confront him and let him know that you that you understand that he's going to check out the hot girls but making a show of it doesn't make you feel good. Tell him you know he cares for you and that's not the issue, but maybe he can be a little more subtle with his check outs and maybe he can tell his friends to tone it down a little since he has the one he wants.

Hope all works out and that you don't make any rash decisions based on people jumping to conclusions on MFP!

I agree totally

StevLL

Noticing someone who is attractive is natural, but oogling them and commenting are completely different. We are not hard wired to be disrespectful, that is something we have control over. Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. Men and women notice attractive folks from both genders, if he truly cares about you he'll probably tone the oogling and commenting down which is kind of childish and imature anyways once you're past puberty.