Weight Loss and Dating

tlahuiltzin

I was recently brutally dumped so I am back on the market and looking for someone awesome to share my life with. I hate being alone . Anyway, on Sunday night I had a first date with a really handsome ex coworker. He seemed to be really into me. The date went well.

Anyway, here is the horrible part. He decided a good first date would be Cheesecake Factory. Now, dudes like their girls to eat but they like them to be skinny so I was not about to make a super anal order and interrogate the waitress about how everything is made because it's a first date!!! And it's not like I'm skinny yet so he can be like "oh, that's why" NO. I'm still chubs as hell so me doing that would have looked ridiculous.

So, I ordered what seemed to be the healthiest thing on the menu. A salad with a bunch of greens, beets, pecans, and vinegarette. So, I had that and water with lemon thinking there is no way I went over 400 calories. I had 425 left for the day, and to my chagrin, I get home to log that **** and it says I ate 1047 calories!!!!! WTF?!

My question is, what do I do with weight loss and dating? I don't want to seem high maintenance because really I'm not. I'm a very chilly and down to earth person and I don't want to ridicule myself on a first date. But I don't want to sabotage my weight loss as a result. I've done so well so far and to have another incident like this would be awful.

What have you guys done? And guys; would you be like "OMG, this hoe is putting on show for me like she's a super model and she's totally not" or would you be supportive sweeties???

How soon is too soon to discuss my special diet needs?

HaleyAlli

BUMP

mendogirl

as far as going on dates and ordering.. i would just not eat the whole entire thing. eat only half of it and ask for the other half to go and have it for lunch the day. i don't know what to do about discussing it with someone else, because i am in a relationship and its very out there that i am trying to lose weight lol

farmers_daughter

Read, Read, and more reading..... (nutrition data that is) of possible places you might go.

Usually the guy let's you suggest where you want to go, and that's your key to point out a "safe" place.

There are limited places to go around here, so it's prolly a little easier then where you live, but it's been done.

aippolito1

Eat half of everything, that's really the only thing you can do. Even salads at restaurants are ridiculous. It's probably the pecans. If they are candied, they'll be higher in calories but nuts are already pretty high calorie and usually it's for 1/4 cup serving not 1 cup like it probably was in the salad. Make good choices like you did, but eat half. Don't eat bread, try to look up your options if he tells you where you're going beforehand... or be sneaky and use your MFP app to look up stuff (if you have a phone that has one!).

kapeluza

I'm married but if I were in your shoes I would select the venue and invite them.... >.> That way I can control what I eat

Also, if the restaurant if expensive, I would offer to pay for the meal. It's modern times, I don't mind paying for dinner

kfitz10103

I would try to look up the menu and nutrition facts on line before you go on the date. Did he tell you where you were going ahead of time?

Sj20fame

First of all you had me rollin on the "Hoe" part! bahahaa! :laugh:

and I think that if he asked you out on a date it's because he likes you and is interested to get to know you, so maybe that's a conversation you guys should have and tell him your not trying to sound snobby or high maintenance, it's just that your working really hard to get healthy, and making better food choices for yourself, IF HE LIKES YOU i'm sure he'll completely understand! So be honest good luck to ya! :flowerforyou:

ritaraffai

Hey! Well, I think it is OK, I mean you still can go to the gym the next day and work out a little bit more;) and you do not eat much every day so I am 100% sure you will be fine and from time to time eat well with ur date.... PS I loove cheescake!! lol
xoxoxo

BaileyBoo13524

I was recently brutally dumped so I am back on the market and looking for someone awesome to share my life with. I hate being alone . Anyway, on Sunday night I had a first date with a really handsome ex coworker. He seemed to be really into me. The date went well.

Anyway, here is the horrible part. He decided a good first date would be Cheesecake Factory. Now, dudes like their girls to eat but they like them to be skinny so I was not about to make a super anal order and interrogate the waitress about how everything is made because it's a first date!!! And it's not like I'm skinny yet so he can be like "oh, that's why" NO. I'm still chubs as hell so me doing that would have looked ridiculous.

So, I ordered what seemed to be the healthiest thing on the menu. A salad with a bunch of greens, beets, pecans, and vinegarette. So, I had that and water with lemon thinking there is no way I went over 400 calories. I had 425 left for the day, and to my chagrin, I get home to log that **** and it says I ate 1047 calories!!!!! WTF?!

My question is, what do I do with weight loss and dating? I don't want to seem high maintenance because really I'm not. I'm a very chilly and down to earth person and I don't want to ridicule myself on a first date. But I don't want to sabotage my weight loss as a result. I've done so well so far and to have another incident like this would be awful.

What have you guys done? And guys; would you be like "OMG, this hoe is putting on show for me like she's a super model and she's totally not" or would you be supportive sweeties???

How soon is too soon to discuss my special diet needs?

Eat healthy!! Never let the fear of what someone thinks about you keep you from being healthy. You'd be surprised a lot of guys think it's sexy when a girl takes care of herself and her body by watching what she eats! I agree a first date would be challenging, I allow myseld one "cheat day" per week so make that your date night! I will eat healthy throughout the day and then for dinner I will have pizza or mexican food and I just don't worry about how many calories I eat. I have not gained a single pound by having this cheat day for almost a year

Doubleube68

Yummm....Cheesecake Factory! Good stuff!

You never know with salads because the dressing could be so high in fat and/or calories. You could just ask for a low cal dressing (or the dressing on the side and use it as a dip...you don't eat as much that way), I don't think that is being too high maintenence. Also, almost every restaurant has some kind of baked chicken dish and if you order it with veggies only, rather than any pasta or potatoes, you should be fine.

Mommyof3loves

which salad did you get from there do you remember the name of it?

Janie5605

Im married so I cant help you much on how to bring it up but we go out quite frequently with his guy friends. They are all military and is stupidly great shape so I always look up the menu to where we're going before hand so I can pick the right thing. I'm not willing to have all the boys know im on a diet just yet. Honestly I havent told many people I'm dieting...

I'd say wait until you feel comfortable talking to him about it. there's no schedule on relationships so just do your best to keep it in track and then bring it up later...maybe invite him over and make him a super healthy yummy dinner!

odusgolp

If you know where you're going in advance, problem solved So shoot for that and pre-plan.

Or, say "I'm really not an anal retentive ho (unless you're into that), but I'm watching what I shove in my man pleaser these days."

I vote for option B, cause that's how I roll.

kennethmgreen

Stop worrying so much about what the guy thinks. I know you are young, and we are programmed to think about what others think. But as a man, let me tell you there is nothing more attractive than confidence (well, maybe confidence + an awesome sense of humor). Seriously. I can see from your picture that you are certainly attractive enough to meet men. Yes, men can be shallow, and focused on looks. But we can also be appreciative of other things too. Smart, confident, funny, and good kisser are the top qualities I looked for when dating, and the main reasons I married my wife. I also find her sexy and beautiful, but that is extra. IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE DATE, the guy thinks you are attractive. Trust me.

As far as sticking to your food plan, do what I do and DO NOT GO OUT TO EAT HUNGRY. That might mean a Slim-Fast in the car, or a protein bar or snack a half hour before dinner. Whatever you need - something filling (but not feeling stuffed) before going out to the meal. Then, order whatever you want (within reason) and *IMMEDIATELY* ask the waiter to pack half to go. Do it right away so it won't be tempting. You can say you promised your roommate, want a snack for later, aren't that hungry, whatever.

boopiejones

restaurant salads are rediculous with the calories. you are often better off ordering a burger. even a bacon burger with avocado, onion rings and BBQ sauce has less calories than that salad.

best bet is probably to get a salad with grilled chicken and no dressing. ask for oil & vinegar cruets so you can control the oil content. and don't eat the crutons.

tlahuiltzin

I would try to look up the menu and nutrition facts on line before you go on the date. Did he tell you where you were going ahead of time?

I had like half hour notice where we were going because we couldn't decide on the city. He lives in Los Angeles, I live in the San Fernando Valley (35-45mins away) so we were trying to meet somewhere in the middle.

kennethmgreen

How soon is too soon to discuss my special diet needs?

Missed that question in my original reply.

Honestly, it's none of his business unless you want to discuss it. And in my opinion, you don't need to frame it "special diet needs" but "healthy eating." I feel better when I eat healthy. Don't you? What is there left to discuss after that? It's only an "issue" if you make it an issue.

sjwarren66

I'm not on the dating scene, but I do plan ahead for social occasions in which I know food and cocktails will be involved.

If you know ahead of time, research the menu options and make your decesion before you walk in the door. A lot of those chain restaurants have HIGH-cal items, even the ones you would think shouldn't be (like salads and wraps). Also, limit your calories for the day before hand - lighter breakfast, lighter lunch - and/or get your workout in before you go.

But most important, the pleasure you receive from enjoying each other's company is as much of a health benefit as monitoring your calories for the day. If you go over, don't beat yourself up over it. Good Luck!

TipMcE

I agree with all the suggestions so far. You could also try some date ideas that are not food related, like a museum trip or a visit to a local tourist attraction. And once you're comfortable with him you could even do active dates like hiking or a game of tennis. If he's into you, he'll also be into your active, healthy lifestyle. I don't think you need to make a big deal about your diet. If you feel the need to explain you can say you're making healthy choices.

tlahuiltzin

restaurant salads are rediculous with the calories. you are often better off ordering a burger. even a bacon burger with avocado, onion rings and BBQ sauce has less calories than that salad.

best bet is probably to get a salad with grilled chicken and no dressing. ask for oil & vinegar cruets so you can control the oil content. and don't eat the crutons.

Seriously!! Makes me wish I had that pepperoni pizza for just about the same calories. Shiiiiii.

tlahuiltzin

How soon is too soon to discuss my special diet needs?

Missed that question in my original reply.

Honestly, it's none of his business unless you want to discuss it. And in my opinion, you don't need to frame it "special diet needs" but "healthy eating." I feel better when I eat healthy. Don't you? What is there left to discuss after that? It's only an "issue" if you make it an issue.

Homeboy wanted to go for ice cream after. It's like DO YOU NOT SEE THE SIZE OF MY BADUNKADUNK?!

tlahuiltzin

You all give great advice!!! Thank you!!! I think next time I'm in that situation I will definitely pack half to go AND not go as hungry because I was STARVING. I had been walking around Chinatown all freakin' day and only ate one of those sesame seed balls with bean paste inside during the day. I had a good breakfast too but I did a lot of walking so I was definitely hungry.

odusgolp

oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again?

tlahuiltzin

oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again?

Yeah!!! There is definitely a second date. We also danced on the street all The Notebook status and he walked me to the car and kissed me on the cheek. It was nice.

TheMaidOfAstolat

I'm in the same situation and maybe a bit harder off. I'm a vegetarian...so when I head out on a date it sure makes things difficult. I don't want to come off as a health nut snob. The man I've been dating has been very understanding and always trys to pick a place that suits both of our needs. That being said...look up the menu ahead of time if you can. Other wise stick to dishes that are 'simple'...ie: no sauces, creams, gravies...ect. The closer to the main ingredient the better.
As for dessert....ask to 'share' it...it'll be romantic and you'll only indulge a bit instead of eating the whole thing by yourself.

jamie78

Honesty is the best way to go, If he is someone you can see your self being with long term. I would just tell him what your goals are and that way when he does plan dates he can be more apt to your needs. and also when you are ordering salad all the time he wont think there is something wrong with you like going home and stuffing your face,,, When me and my husband started dating I told him straight forward what my goals where and that I workout at ( X ) time of day and would not be available for anything besides that, If he wanted to see me then he could join me.... and he did and it was something we enjoyed doing together.

jwallace84

Hello,

I would be straight honest with him and let him know I am dieting. Good news, I heard on the news yesterday that the Cheesecake Factory is coming out with a new menu that will include entrees 600 calories & under...this is my FAV resturante so I am already excited . But if you tend to go on more dates with others, just be prepared of your surroundings and the food you are able to eat. Or just ask before hand where you are going....

goodbyeexcess

Since you live in the LA Area, you should try biking on the boardwalk. It's really fun and beautiful. You could also try rock climbing (more fun than it sounds,) and HIKING (MY FAV!!!! Bring him to a high-inclining mountain to hike and kick his butt!)

There are so many options to go on fun dates and not have to eat!!!! Use your imagination

tlahuiltzin

Since you live in the LA Area, you should try biking on the boardwalk. It's really fun and beautiful. You could also try rock climbing (more fun than it sounds,) and HIKING (MY FAV!!!! Bring him to a high-inclining mountain to hike and kick his butt!)

There are so many options to go on fun dates and not have to eat!!!! Use your imagination

OMG! I KNOW!! I love hiking!!! I did indoor rock climbing once and I was whining the whole time because my butt felt heavy. HAHA. So that one is probably not a good option but I do love hiking so much. And biking on the board walk. Especially Venice Beach with all the crazies. I love the crazies.

Sj20fame

oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again?

Yeah!!! There is definitely a second date. We also danced on the street all The Notebook status and he walked me to the car and kissed me on the cheek. It was nice.

uuUUU!! loving this!! I wish you the best of luck! My sister just got back out in to the dating world, and it's tough out there, so I'm glad you had an awesome date! :drinker: