Weight Loss and Dating
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How soon is too soon to discuss my special diet needs?
Missed that question in my original reply.
Honestly, it's none of his business unless you want to discuss it. And in my opinion, you don't need to frame it "special diet needs" but "healthy eating." I feel better when I eat healthy. Don't you? What is there left to discuss after that? It's only an "issue" if you make it an issue.
Homeboy wanted to go for ice cream after. It's like DO YOU NOT SEE THE SIZE OF MY BADUNKADUNK?!0 -
You all give great advice!!! Thank you!!!
I think next time I'm in that situation I will definitely pack half to go AND not go as hungry because I was STARVING. I had been walking around Chinatown all freakin' day and only ate one of those sesame seed balls with bean paste inside during the day. I had a good breakfast too but I did a lot of walking so I was definitely hungry. 0 -
oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again? 0
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oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again?
Yeah!!!
There is definitely a second date. We also danced on the street all The Notebook status and he walked me to the car and kissed me on the cheek. It was nice. 0 -
I'm in the same situation and maybe a bit harder off. I'm a vegetarian...so when I head out on a date it sure makes things difficult. I don't want to come off as a health nut snob. The man I've been dating has been very understanding and always trys to pick a place that suits both of our needs. That being said...look up the menu ahead of time if you can. Other wise stick to dishes that are 'simple'...ie: no sauces, creams, gravies...ect. The closer to the main ingredient the better.
As for dessert....ask to 'share' it...it'll be romantic and you'll only indulge a bit instead of eating the whole thing by yourself.0 -
Honesty is the best way to go, If he is someone you can see your self being with long term. I would just tell him what your goals are and that way when he does plan dates he can be more apt to your needs. and also when you are ordering salad all the time he wont think there is something wrong with you like going home and stuffing your face,,, When me and my husband started dating I told him straight forward what my goals where and that I workout at ( X ) time of day and would not be available for anything besides that, If he wanted to see me then he could join me.... and he did and it was something we enjoyed doing together. 0
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Hello,
I would be straight honest with him and let him know I am dieting. Good news, I heard on the news yesterday that the Cheesecake Factory is coming out with a new menu that will include entrees 600 calories & under...this is my FAV resturante so I am already excited . But if you tend to go on more dates with others, just be prepared of your surroundings and the food you are able to eat. Or just ask before hand where you are going....0 -
Since you live in the LA Area, you should try biking on the boardwalk. It's really fun and beautiful. You could also try rock climbing (more fun than it sounds,) and HIKING (MY FAV!!!! Bring him to a high-inclining mountain to hike and kick his butt!)
There are so many options to go on fun dates and not have to eat!!!! Use your imagination 0 -
Since you live in the LA Area, you should try biking on the boardwalk. It's really fun and beautiful. You could also try rock climbing (more fun than it sounds,) and HIKING (MY FAV!!!! Bring him to a high-inclining mountain to hike and kick his butt!)
There are so many options to go on fun dates and not have to eat!!!! Use your imagination
OMG! I KNOW!! I love hiking!!! I did indoor rock climbing once and I was whining the whole time because my butt felt heavy. HAHA. So that one is probably not a good option but I do love hiking so much. And biking on the board walk. Especially Venice Beach with all the crazies. I love the crazies. 
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oooh! He wanted to continue the date over ice cream! So, things went well Dish... want to see him again?
Yeah!!! There is definitely a second date. We also danced on the street all The Notebook status and he walked me to the car and kissed me on the cheek. It was nice.
uuUUU!! loving this!!
I wish you the best of luck! My sister just got back out in to the dating world, and it's tough out there, so I'm glad you had an awesome date! :drinker: 0 -
As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.
When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.
2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.
But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".
Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.0 -
As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.
When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.
2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.
But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".
Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.
I love that you say that... I cant remember the comedian that said Men have a nothing box in their brain and that is where you will find them 90% of the time! lol0 -
As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.
When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.
2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.
But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".
Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.
I love that you say that... I cant remember the comedian that said Men have a nothing box in their brain and that is where you will find them 90% of the time! lol
Here is the link it is freaking funny!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjnLLw5BTmc 0 -
As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.
When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.
2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.
But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".
Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.
haha awesome!! Now this was a good post!0 -
I decide what I am going to eat before I go out after checking out the nutrition facts. Sometimes I can eat ALL of what I order or sometimes I will bag half even before I start eating unless I exercised like a professional athlete that day and need the calories. It was a good thing that you did all that walking and needed extra calories. I bet you ended up not being too far off until you hit the ice cream. The thing is... if you could have pre-chosen your food, you could probably have afforded the ice cream! But, for me, I would prefer the food (but not that outrageous salad) and just 2-3 bites of ice cream but I am married and we old married folk can do stuff like that cause my husband supports giving up 3 bites of his dessert so I don't order one of my own. If I am really wanting something naughty, I can usually fit it in by exercising really hard that day. I will work hard for food and treats. My slogan is "I eat whatever I want!" Of course, I work out hard for it and make sure I really want to eat it. Sometimes things are just not worth the calories so I tell myself, "I don't want that today."
That's what I do!0 -
As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.
When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.
2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.
But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".
Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.
LOL!! Awesome. I want to keep you around for dude advice. 0 -
Speaking as a dude, I have no problem with my date taking home a "doggy bag". So order something and then just plan on not finishing the entire thing and take it home for lunch the next day. As long as you don't get all anal-rententive about watching your calories (by this I mean don't make it the focal point of every conversation, don't complain about the calorie content of dishes, and don't let it suck the fun out of you), then I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to talk to your date about it. Just my opinion anyway.0
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oh i have definitely been there. however, this was by my ex husband. he decided i wasn't in shape and healthy enough...so he looked for someone else while we were still together. hows that for messed up. so now i am constantly looking at the amount of calories i consume because getting dumped by your husband can totally shatter your confidence. when i go out to eat i always look at the nutritional information prior, but if you can't just eat half of it. i know that it can be hard sometimes to only eat half when the meal is so amazing...especially at cheesecake factory, but think about whether or not you are really hungry or if you are eating because it is there in front of you. by the way i was looking at the nutritional information at cheesecake factory a few days ago and it was astounding. it looked like almost everything was above 700 calories... lame
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I like this post for so many reasons. It's honestly so sweet, your date I mean. And I hope you have another and another and another great dates. I think a lot of people have been in those shoes. Secretly thinking, "Should I say I'm watching what I eat or just try to play it cool and order whatever but only eat a little. OR do I get the salad OR..." and we try to strategize so we're not compromising our health goals while at the same time not giving someone new the wrong idea about who we are. It's easy to be confident once we're sure of making decisions in our best interest, but what if we're in transition.. This is the longest I've stayed committed to my health - physically, mentally, and emotionally and I have to say it's an amazing change for me, but it's still a change. It still takes getting used to what's "normal" for me, even though I am now welcoming all these good habits. It's normal for me to now to drink a liter of water in the morning instead of eat a cinnamon roll, and it's normal for me to go running outside once a week, and to WANT to go to the gym on my lunch hour to get in a great weight training session, and only order 2 drinks and no dessert, etc. Countless little changes that I've made are permanent now, my standards for myself and how I live have changed. And that's that Lifestyle Change everyone talks about, wow, now I know what that means! Logging on to seek advice is just another tool you're using to get to where you want to be! Nothing will stand in your way. And who says YOU'RE not looking at your date's eating habits for someone who cares about what he eats too. You're amazing for putting yourself first and that will attract a lot of great people into your life. Cheers and have fun in love!0
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For your second date... if you haven't already made a decision on where you will go... I'd do some research in preparation. This way when he asks if you have any idea about where you'd like to eat you can say... "I hear the salmon is good at Chilis... how about we go there...?" or something to that effect.
If you have truly made eating well part of your lifestyle then you will eventually have to make this known to him. If he is a good guy and genuinely likes you, he will be supportive in your quest for a healthy lifestyle!0
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