How did you know.....

Noonoo757

i truly believe that if you have to ask then you may need some more time to figure out if he is the one, always know that you shouldnt have to learn to love someone or hope that your feelings will get deeper as time goes on, i knew the moment he held my hand and shared a bag of lays bar b q chips with me and i only new my husband for two weeks and now we have been married 11 1/2 years.

fromaquasar

Thank you guys heaps for sharing your thoughts - it is really helping me. I wasn't sure if I should talk about something like this here but I felt like I need some objective opinions.

I don't think I have any delusions that marriage is work. Like I don't expect to find the "one" and everything be easy.
But I guess I find myself hoping that the person I work for and with at that relationship is someone who understands me and and sees me to my core and accepts all of that. I guess I feel like there are a lot of difference between myself and my partner (not that difference is a bad thing but about some fundamental things) that mean I don't feel like I truly connect with all of him and nor him with me.

The mere fact that I couldn't talk to him about this is kind of evidence of that I guess. When I think about being without him (as so many of you suggested) I know I would be fine. Not straight away, I would be sad it was over, and it would hurt and all those things. But I feel like I could go on with my life and be happy and the idea doesn't scare or upset me really.

I thought maybe everyone felt like that, maybe feeling like you don't ever want to be without a person or that despite all the hard work having a deep knowing that you wanted them was something I had constructed in my head and not a realistic expectation of a relationship. But it seems a lot of you have found that which makes me hopeful for what could be there for me one day.

If I am honest as well I think the age thing has a lot to do with it. I feel like I am far too young to think about marriage. I am surprised how expectant I find those around me are, that they would want me to be thinking about it! I have so much more I want to do, and achieve and explore before I think I could be ready for that.

liftingbro

Thank you guys heaps for sharing your thoughts - it is really helping me. I wasn't sure if I should talk about something like this here but I felt like I need some objective opinions.

I don't think I have any delusions that marriage is work. Like I don't expect to find the "one" and everything be easy.
But I guess I find myself hoping that the person I work for and with at that relationship is someone who understands me and and sees me to my core and accepts all of that. I guess I feel like there are a lot of difference between myself and my partner (not that difference is a bad thing but about some fundamental things) that mean I don't feel like I truly connect with all of him and nor him with me.

The mere fact that I couldn't talk to him about this is kind of evidence of that I guess. When I think about being without him (as so many of you suggested) I know I would be fine. Not straight away, I would be sad it was over, and it would hurt and all those things. But I feel like I could go on with my life and be happy and the idea doesn't scare or upset me really.

I thought maybe everyone felt like that, maybe feeling like you don't ever want to be without a person or that despite all the hard work having a deep knowing that you wanted them was something I had constructed in my head and not a realistic expectation of a relationship. But it seems a lot of you have found that which makes me hopeful for what could be there for me one day.

If I am honest as well I think the age thing has a lot to do with it. I feel like I am far too young to think about marriage. I am surprised how expectant I find those around me are, that they would want me to be thinking about it! I have so much more I want to do, and achieve and explore before I think I could be ready for that.

Age can be part of it. I could be that you're simply not ready for it yet. I wouldn't dump the guy just yet if the relationship is good, things can develope over time. I was 29 when I married my wife, so I was a bit older than you and ready for a new stage in my life. Just because you might not feel like marrying him now does not mean you wont later. Of course, if you feel like the relationship is going nowhere then that's another thing.