why do exes look you up?

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Grimmerick
Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have this recurring trend I notice as I get older. I have been in a steady relationship for 3 years and I am engaged. I have noticed since I was 18 that every year or so , my exes will randomly look me up on facebook, or friend me. I am not really sure why because they never seem to have any particular goal in mind. It's just weird like they want to see who is doing better or something lol. Anybody else experiencing this as well. My friend thinks it's hilarious because sometimes they will friend her first then never talk to her and then friend me off her list. Weird weird weird.
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Replies

  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I had an ex look me up on Facebook and friend me. Our breakup was so nasty. And he really thinks I'd want to be friends with him after what went down? Deluded!
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    This will never stop I am 41 and exes come out of the woodwork at times, like they all called each other and said lets see what she is up to. I think some are looking for a back up and of course there are some that just want to know you are doing ok. I am not sure women will ever figure men out and vice versa.
  • pnieuw
    pnieuw Posts: 473
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    I killed off my Facebook profile a few years ago because half the "friends" were from high school. These are kids that, during our school years, wouldn't give me the time of day, and now, 20 years later, you want to be my "friend".

    Don't think so....

    Just say no to creepy past friends!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    I had an ex look me up on Facebook and friend me. Our breakup was so nasty. And he really thinks I'd want to be friends with him after what went down? Deluded!

    Yeah my exes that contact me the most both broke up with me.........what the hell?!
  • Scoochie1
    Scoochie1 Posts: 121 Member
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    Ha ha - yes! This has happened with me lots of times. And since I have the same job and cell phone number for the last 15 years I get calls and texts too.
    No one that I want to actually catch up with has ever got in touch though.
  • mamaw53
    mamaw53 Posts: 71
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    How about exes family members? Some I really did not have a very good relationship-so why be friends now????
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Wish we could get some guys perspectives on this
  • francena84
    francena84 Posts: 99
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    YES my freaking ex husband friend requested me last month on facebook wanting me back.. lol i declined his request then his on and off girlfriend messaged me.. WTF leave me alone!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Also, why do exes (especially when they were the ones who ended things) think they have any right at all to know about your dating life?
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
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    Build a second profile. Stock it with whips, chains and pictures of a mansion. let them friend that.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    It's become a societal convention. Personally I like see what old friends, exes, coworkers, schoolmates, and family are up to, and chat with them every so often. If you don't like it, you don't accept the friend request.
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
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    I am the evil ex who breaks up with people and then friends them on Facebook a year or two later. I never thought it was a bad thing to do...

    My reasons? Just curiosity, and I would love to be at least virtually civil with them. Even though we didn't work out as a couple, and even though I wouldn't want to be actual friends with them, it's nice to get along and keep in touch via FB.

    I seriously never even really thought about it! So there ya go, from an ex's perspective. :brokenheart:

    edited to add: They have always accepted, and it only got weird once... an ex thought that I was "friending" so that we could hook up... I de-friended.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    Wish we could get some guys perspectives on this

    What makes you think this is just a guy thing? It works both ways.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
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    That is...odd. I had the issue once, and removed him. 10 years later he still talks about me. Must be pretty amazing to keep him talking about me ;)
  • ansonrinesmith
    ansonrinesmith Posts: 755 Member
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    I killed off my Facebook profile a few years ago because half the "friends" were from high school. These are kids that, during our school years, wouldn't give me the time of day, and now, 20 years later, you want to be my "friend".

    Don't think so....

    Just say no to creepy past friends!
    I get that same thing. I just don't accept the request.

    I had an ex, look me up and friend me on facebook, on her wedding day! Weird.
  • jackieb79
    jackieb79 Posts: 58
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    They probably want to know if you moved on and met someone else or if they destroyed your life. How many of you out there have looked up an ex out of sheer curiosity?
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    I've looked up my exes because I want to know what they're up to and how they and their families are. They were really important to me in the past, so I think it's natural that they still cross my mind sometimes. (Plus, I don't mind if the one that was a **** to me sees my picture and notices I've lost weight and am happy and married now...)
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    YES my freaking ex husband friend requested me last month on facebook wanting me back.. lol i declined his request then his on and off girlfriend messaged me.. WTF leave me alone!!

    This is the whole reason I don't do facebook - this happened to me when I had a myspace account. My dead beat ex sent me a friend request, I get $24/week in child support (for 2 kids, btw) and he hasn't see the kids since 2002, but he wants to be my friend. Kick rocks, dude! LOL
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
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    Wish we could get some guys perspectives on this

    What makes you think this is just a guy thing? It works both ways.

    Yep, I'm proof of that one! :laugh:
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Wish we could get some guys perspectives on this

    What makes you think this is just a guy thing? It works both ways.

    I didn't say it was just a guy thing, but I am a girl so I have that perspective already.

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