random touching

myofibril
myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
Do you ever find that when you have slimmed down a bit or perhaps have reached your goal that you just get...felt up...a lot more?

Whilst this is obviously pretty groovy with the person (or persons) you are intimate with why do random punters believe they are entitled to cop a feel without the decency of asking first?

I was on the train this morning and a young lady sat next to me. As the journey progressed she pressed one her arms and at the end one of her legs tighter and tighter against me. By the time I got off she might as well have given me a lapdance as she was virtually on top of me.

Or when someone gives you a friendly pat on the arm then decides for some reason decides to start squeezing, seemingly to check just how much muscle you are packing.

What is an acceptable response to these personal space invaders? I wouldn't mind so much if they asked first. Will I get in trouble if I slap them upside the head?
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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I have to say that in no time in my life has that happened to me.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I don`t have it happen either. pouty.gif
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Free lap dance? Maybe it was your cologne.
  • whitejessamine
    whitejessamine Posts: 166
    Other than stepping back and saying, "Excuse me, please." or something along those lines, I can't tell you how to stop it, but yes, you will get in trouble for slapping them. Perhaps you could try telling them you don't like being touched? As a teen, I was in a homebound education program for a while, and the teacher assigned to me had no concept of personal space. By the end of the day, the woman always had me pinned in the corner of the couch with my head all the way back against the wall and she'd only be a couple of inches from my face. My mom finally called and asked for a different teacher.

    For what it's worth, a lot of pregnant women have this same problem...strangers come up and start rubbing on the belly without asking. It always seemed kind of weird to me.
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
    DH4.gif

    Personally, I'm NOT a fan of touchy feeliness - I do a swat motion like there's a spider on me.
  • VeganInTraining
    VeganInTraining Posts: 1,319 Member
    I DO know what your talking about, mostly it's when people are checking out my tattoos but I want to be like "dude, my tattooed skin feels just like not tattooed skin, you do not have permission to caress me!" I have definitely considered slapping people! I think that the best response it just to be rude about it, no need to be nice when someone is invading your space, if they get offended from me saying "back the eff off" then who cares I get offended from them caressing me! Of course, I do need to work on putting this into practice...I do have a right to my own personal bubble!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Free lap dance? Maybe it was your cologne.

    Eau du Stink? I doubt it mate...

    It's not that I dislike being touched so much. I am fairly tactile. It's the assumption that someone can enter your personal space and inspect the goods without at least seeking the ok either on a verbal or non verbal level. It strikes me as simple good manners to be aware of another person's feelings.

    I am really surprised that women don't seem to experience this more commonly. I presumed it would be much worse for them.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    No...but I do get doors held for me more often, and where as when I first started running most runners wouldn't even look in my direction...they definitely do look in my direction now. It doesn't bother me, I admit...I like the attention. I'm not going to lie.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    One time an ex close friend (long story) came running up to me after I lost 70 lbs and started rubbing my stomach! I looked down and then looked at her thinking WTH!!! She saw my look, realized what she was doing, and then took a step back. Actually that was the last time I ever saw her.
  • danacho
    danacho Posts: 115 Member
    'Dinner and a Movie first love' is normally my response :smile:

    Is funny to see a stranges face when you say it lol
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  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    I thought this was only a chick problem!

    Any chance she had really terrible balance/was falling asleep on you.

    I also touch random men just for kicks, I like to think it brighens their day. Maybe I'll stop now...

    Sorry for groping you on the train.
  • shellyxxxxx
    shellyxxxxx Posts: 143
    yeh , but i dont mind at all x lol x
  • toddgaines
    toddgaines Posts: 130
    I haven't had anything like that happen, but a lot of people come up and grab or pat my stomach now ... which is still a bit strange to me...
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Any chance she had really terrible balance/was falling asleep on you.

    Well, it's possible she had narcolepsy though thankfully she didn't drool in my ear...
    I also touch random men just for kicks, I like to think it brighens their day. Maybe I'll stop now...

    Nooooo, Don't do that. I think most men get a kick out of it. I'm just cantankerous.
  • 46and2
    46and2 Posts: 167
    Dude, just start flexing! If they're grabbing for it, give it to them! (as long as it's the gender you want touching you) And why in the hell does this not happen to me?
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Any chance she had really terrible balance/was falling asleep on you.

    Well, it's possible she had narcolepsy though thankfully she didn't drool in my ear...
    I also touch random men just for kicks, I like to think it brighens their day. Maybe I'll stop now...

    Nooooo, Don't do that. I think most men get a kick out of it. I'm just cantankerous.

    You sure? I can try to curb that impulse..
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    Free lap dance? Maybe it was your cologne.

    Eau du Stink? I doubt it mate...

    It's not that I dislike being touched so much. I am fairly tactile. It's the assumption that someone can enter your personal space and inspect the goods without at least seeking the ok either on a verbal or non verbal level. It strikes me as simple good manners to be aware of another person's feelings.

    I am really surprised that women don't seem to experience this more commonly. I presumed it would be much worse for them.

    women (especially here in the South) would react quite a bit more often than our male counterparts. if someone gropes me on the train, they'll be leaving on a stretcher (ok not really, but you get the point), but if i were to grope some guy 9/10 times he'd just look at me weird at the most.

    i think i'm gonna test this theory on the train ride home... if i'm shot and killed i'll let you know tomorrow.
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    For me it's that people think it's totally fine to grab my boobs...I don't know if this happens to other people, or if it's cause they're kinda big, but it happens to me enough.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I don`t have it happen either. pouty.gif

    And I thought our time together was special. :sad:

    Yours wasn`t random. :wink:
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Hmm I've noticed people a bit more touchy...but no lapdances lol
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
    I have found when someone is being too touchy feeythat if you do the same thing to them they tend to stop immediately.
    Once when pregnant a stranger came up and put both hands on my belly and asked when I was due. So I prompgly grabbed his beer belly and said when are you due? Gotta love those pregnancy hormones!
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member

    Or when someone gives you a friendly pat on the arm then decides for some reason decides to start squeezing, seemingly to check just how much muscle you are packing.

    What is an acceptable response to these personal space invaders? I wouldn't mind so much if they asked first. Will I get in trouble if I slap them upside the head?

    That's happened to me many times. I just disregard it. Someone touched my back once too haha. I figure they're not touching my butt, so it's all good. Not that I would mind it if they were hot... hahahahhahahah :)
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    I have found when someone is being too touchy feeythat if you do the same thing to them they tend to stop immediately.
    Once when pregnant a stranger came up and put both hands on my belly and asked when I was due. So I prompgly grabbed his beer belly and said when are you due? Gotta love those pregnancy hormones!

    I was walking through the grocery store one time while I was pregnant (I was 16) and this random man comes up and just puts his hands on my stomach.... people would do that to me every day, like being pregnant meant that anyone could touch my stomach at any given time. At the end of my pregnancy I remember I was a bit...angry.... and someone would come at me and I'd be like "Don't touch my ****in' stomach."
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    I'm going to say about 90% of the time, I don't mind it... and the more I lose the more frequently it happens. It's all good, before i started losing no one would touch me with a 10 ft pole. :)
  • Mkleder
    Mkleder Posts: 289
    Free lap dance? Maybe it was your cologne.

    Eau du Stink? I doubt it mate...

    It's not that I dislike being touched so much. I am fairly tactile. It's the assumption that someone can enter your personal space and inspect the goods without at least seeking the ok either on a verbal or non verbal level. It strikes me as simple good manners to be aware of another person's feelings.

    I am really surprised that women don't seem to experience this more commonly. I presumed it would be much worse for them.

    I commute to work by bus and this happens to me frequently....thankfully now with handsome men. Before, it was always the 60-something woman who takes up 1.5 seats that crushed me into the bus window. Now, I get the tall, broad shoulder dudes.

    While nothing has transpired that comes close to a lap dance, I have at least enjoyed a little body heat for bit, held hands, and scored a couple of dates. But NO ONE (me or them) has persisted if the other acts even slightly uncomfortable.

    Given that the bus usually has the A/C cranked up, I much prefer to be smashed up against a fine example of the opposite sex for an hour and a half than the frigid metal bus window casing. I got over the whole kootie thing long ago.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Free lap dance? Maybe it was your cologne.

    Eau du Stink? I doubt it mate...

    It's not that I dislike being touched so much. I am fairly tactile. It's the assumption that someone can enter your personal space and inspect the goods without at least seeking the ok either on a verbal or non verbal level. It strikes me as simple good manners to be aware of another person's feelings.

    I am really surprised that women don't seem to experience this more commonly. I presumed it would be much worse for them.

    women (especially here in the South) would react quite a bit more often than our male counterparts. if someone gropes me on the train, they'll be leaving on a stretcher (ok not really, but you get the point), but if i were to grope some guy 9/10 times he'd just look at me weird at the most.

    i think i'm gonna test this theory on the train ride home... if i'm shot and killed i'll let you know tomorrow.

    Just exactly which train??
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    My boss does this. He will grab my arm or pat me on the back. Definitely throws me off sometimes because I don't expect it and I am really strict about strangers touching me but I know he means no disrespect. Been working with the firm for 6 years and he is a gentlemen/kind person.
    Now if some dude were to just grope me on the street, yeah you better bet he will be kicked where the sun doesn't shine and I will probably be arrested after I am done with him but hey, what makes you think it's ok to grope all women? Just because some women are ok with being groped doesn't mean all women are going to hand out free popsicles! :grumble: :mad:

    stickfight2.gif
    Yup, that is what would happen.
  • Mkleder
    Mkleder Posts: 289
    I don`t have it happen either. pouty.gif

    Now Carl, just invite me for a ride on your big green tractor and I'll snuggle up to you.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    For me it's that people think it's totally fine to grab my boobs...I don't know if this happens to other people, or if it's cause they're kinda big, but it happens to me enough.

    So that is not fine?


    I do not get accosted on the train nearly enough.... and if someone is too close to me it is normally a guy.


    I do have a co-worker and she is always patting me on the back or grabbing my arms now... Hopefully it will result in a raise for me eventually.
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