"Grr" to PPL want to lose weight but dont want to do the wor

stephlake

I have a coworker who asked me to encourage her and give her some of the tips I have used to lose weight. I told her I would love to help and for the past few weeks I have Facebooked her and text her reminders to go to the gym, take a lunch to work instead of eating out etc ... Well today she was recruiting people to have Fast Food for lunch with her and when she got to me I said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" I smiled and completed that with "No thank you, I brought my lunch." She then sent me the following message:

"i'm a woman with curves, i like my curves, my kids like to snuggle because i'm soft. when you look at me i'm genuine, you know what you are getting. take it or leave it"

I responded with the following statement: "Why would you assume being called skinny is a critisism?"

She said "i don't...i just LIKE me as i am..of course, i would like me skinny too...but reality sets in at some point. i want to enjoy life...being healthy is good, but not to the point where i can't put something in my mouth because i have to calculate fat grams and calories..I want to ENJOY life as I live it."

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OK.. what the heck, ya know?! Somebody asks you to help them then is full of excuses. There are days I barely have the motivation to get myself to the gym, yet I try and give what I can to someone else.

I say KUDOS to each of US that log our food, calculate calories and fat grams.. and our skinny person inside appreciates it! I enjoy my life because I like the way I look, and I like the energy I have from eating healthy and working out.

Okay.. that is all. Just needed to vent!!!

Jamcnair

That's so frustrating. Those just sound like excuses not to put any effort into losing weight.
A friend of mine last year got engaged and she hates exercise and loves fast food...I had already lost some weight and she bought a wedding dress a size too small to motivate her to lose the weight. Her mom even paid for us to go to Curves for a few months. I tried so many different things to try to get her started. She only went to Curves like twice and half-assed it when she was there...I finally just gave up and did my own thing.

tony2009

I gave up on people actually sticking to anything. I actually got into verbal arguments over dieting when I started this journey. 30 lbs layer they just raise their noses when I get compliments from their family ^_^. I use it as inspiration personally.

sarah44254

Life isn't about food. There are a billion things to focus on before you think of food as 'enjoying life'.

She needs to understand that making a healthy choice for a meal is not difficult, is not the end of the world, and will not rule over her enjoyment of the day. Until she realizes this, you cannot help her.

nel0311

She will not be as happy when she has health issues that take time away from her kids. its not just about being thin, its about being healthy....skinny jeans are a bonus in my eyes.

Qarol

Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.

Grimmerick

I would have asked her, then if you are so happy and genuine why did you ask me to help you and waste my time when you aren't motivated for your health anyway.

leeannm0304

I have a lot of friends that are like that. They continually show signs of wanting to do something to change the way the look, feel and eat and then as soon as there is a sign of something being hard, they seem to back down. I have one that sounds like she could be the twin of the one your referring too..

Good for you for trying however; sometimes until they want to help themselves there isn't anything you can do. they will continue to make excuses.

Good job!

NanBar

Life isn't about food. There are a billion things to focus on before you think of food as 'enjoying life'.

She needs to understand that making a healthy choice for a meal is not difficult, is not the end of the world, and will not rule over her enjoyment of the day. Until she realizes this, you cannot help her.

beautifully said Sarah...

wickedcricket

You can lead a cow to water, but it's still a COW ~

ohwhataday

I don't count calories and I've lost 45 pounds. hmmm.

chevy88grl

I have a friend like this and honestly, I'm tired of trying to help.

She tells me ALL the time (and I do mean ALL the time) how she wishes she was thin like I am, wants to wear cute clothes like I wear (and then she'll give me an example of a cute shirt or whatever that I've worn and that she wants to be able to wear too), etc. I've tried to help her MANY times. I've helped her figure out her meals, told her what to do at the gym, encouraged her to go to the gym (you don't lose weight simply by having a gym membership! you have to actually GO to the gym).

I've tried. Heaven help me, I have tried and tried and tried.

Well, yesterday she starts her "I wish I was thin...." crap and then turns around and eats a Reese's crispy, crunchy bar and drink a 20oz Mt Dew. I said "You don't get thin eating 700 calories on break. Why not eat something healthy?" And she says "Well, I haven't eaten ALL day and I am hungry".

*sigh* I've discussed not eating with her and I've discussed not eating and then gorging on junk with her.,


I'm done trying to help. Sorry, but I am. Obviously they don't want to change - they just want the results at the end without the work to get there.

BTW, my friend is 300lbs, 29 yrs old and has a family history of diabetes, heart issues, etc. I've told her she's going to end up in the same boat if she isn't careful.

She'll say "I know" and then go order 3 double cheeseburgers, large fry and large Coke at McDonald's.

ratherbeskiing

all I know is I had years of working on being over weight.... and nothing gave me the same feeling as losing it. I loved what I ate but realized that I just ate too much. I am ready now to lose weight and I am sure I made 100 excuses when I was not ready. I have had several people try to lose weight "with me" but I realized that when they gave up they were not ready. I am ready and I am not hodling back with them. PEACE OUT!

soifua

I've had quite a few family members ask me what my "secret" for losing weight was ... when I say counting my calories and exercising everyday, they don't want to know anymore - being healthy isn't just a magic pill to make you skinny and that's what they really want, they don't want to work at it ... unfortunately

cbirdso

Life isn't about food. There are a billion things to focus on before you think of food as 'enjoying life'.

She needs to understand that making a healthy choice for a meal is not difficult, is not the end of the world, and will not rule over her enjoyment of the day. Until she realizes this, you cannot help her.

Just want to say that I admire what you said and will use it shamelessly as my own in the future!

Articeluvsmemphis

wow, that's crazy of her. I guess she felt you were criticizing her, but then again she did ask for help, and that was your opinion on her eating out that day. everyone has a time when they'll come ALL the way around and realize it's hard work. not just physically but mentally as well.

forsophia2009

Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.

It is also a quote from someone who was accused of promotinig anorexia amongst teenage girls.

Despite that, I agree that there are a lot of people who want to lose without putting the effort. I have learned though that you can have all the encouragement in the world but nothing will work until you are ready to make a difference in your own life.

PalmettoparkGuy

People want quick fixes and don't want to put in the work. I've had quite a few people ask me "how I did it" and when I tell them I count my calories, I usually get responses like: that's too hard, I can't do that, there has to be an easier way, that's ridiculous. There's many ways, but I'm looking for the way that will work long term which is taking responsibility for your own actions.

SCMarineMom

I totally understand where you're coming from. I did Weight Watchers (still am) and got my sister in law interested in it. She did it and actually made goal and lifetime. Then she let it slide, gained 10 pounds or so back but I didn't . We all went on a family beach trip this year and NOONE would hang out with me. I layed on the beach alone, I walked on the beach alone, I ran alone...and I went to the Weight Watchers meeting alone. I loved the beach but it was the worst vacation. Almost like they were embarrassed by ME. Ha. Whatever. I don't have pre-diabetes or on any medications. People do what they are going to do and you can't do anything about it. Just stick to your guns and you will reap all the benefits.

PlanetVelma

Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.

This! She probably took it as "dig" and that you were criticizing her for going out to lunch. I have a standing lunch date with a couple of friends @ work. Granted they don't ask me for weight loss advice, I do enjoy their company and we have lots of stuff in common - so we go out to lunch once a month. I do stay within my calorie allowance and make healthy choices (for the most part).

I probably would have just said "No thanks, I brought my lunch -have fun!" and left it at that. Unfortunately she will find out later in life you DO have to watch your fat grams, calories, carbs, sugar levels - might as well do it now instead of having to do it later because your health is ailing.....

SSampley

Its sad, her kids do love to snuggle her and will contiune to love to snuggle her...hopefully she gets that the healthy choices she is not making will prevent her kids and one day grandkids from snuggling her longer....
That was wonderful of you to try to support her though..I have a coworker here that is smaller than me and was when she lost 20 pounds..I have lost 36 and still have about 20-25 to lose and I want to smack her every time she gets a twix bar from the vending machine and says well I just dont feel like dieting today...I didnt have to lose that much...