Do you see what everyone else sees?

rmsrws

No, I do not see what others see!! I was 252 lbs 13 months ago. I have since lost a 113 lbs. I have went from a size 24 down to a 7 in pants and smalls and mediums in tops. I still find myself wondering to the plus size section for clothes. When I am in the general size area I am constantly looking around and trying to compare myself to others and to see if people are starring at me, because I don't belong in that section. I hold up a pair of 7 and they seem BIG to the eye. As is I was looking at a size 24 again. STUPID I know!

I am afraid to post before and after pics because I am just uncomfotable about showing what I look like. I get compliments like crazy on how "great", "amazing", "stunning", "fabulous", etc. I was actually told all of these words Tuesday morning at a business meeting. Yes, a total NSV. I don't feel right about posting NSV's, I feel some what ashamed and guilty. When I hit the 100lb lost. I had planned on posting pics and so fourth. I didn't . It was such an odd feeling when it happened. I cried, then I felt like screaming and yelling to the world, but I didn't.

I am 12 lbs away from my goal weight. I sit and think well when I reach that will that be enough? Will I still feel the need to keep pushing? When does it end? I surely don't want to go back to a year ago!

Tuesday morning for my business meeting, I wore a new out fit. I decided to wear clothes that actually fit, rather than pinning and tucking and belting trying to get the most milegae out of my existing wardrobe. I am wearing a size 7 crop pants, and a medium top out of the junior department I turn to my husband and ask so innocently "Do I look FAT in this?" He chuckled and then it went into an hysterical laugh. He said "Rhonda, you have lost 113 lbs no matter what you wear, you are not going to look fat!" I walked away with doubt.

On my torso I feel that I have lost weight because I now have a rib cage and hip bones that are very obvious. So every now and then I cop a feel of my self to help remind me, YES, you have lost weight.

I have considered talking with a pychologist or something to see if it might help me. I was told it would take some time for my mind to catch up with weight loss.

I can say I feel great most of the time. I have energy, and ambition. I have a positive out look on life again.

Best Wishes~Rhonda

gatorgirl7

It's been almost 3 years since I lost my weight, and I still struggle to shop in in the right sections and DEFINITELY don't see what others see. I still see the old me...I'm hoping it will get better eventually!

kkalg7

a good way to see if you're seeing what's real is to get a large piece of paper and a marker, or just use chalk on the driveway/garage. mark where the top of your head and bottom of feet are, as well as the length of your arms. get up and draw what you think your outline is (do not trace yourself at this point). When your drawing is complete, lay down on top of it and have someone trace you with a different color marker or chalk. Now get up and compare the two lines; is your drawing larger than the tracing, smaller, or the same? Whatever the outcome is, this exercise should help you see how you view yourself compared to what is real. Remember to always love and accept yourself exactly where you are today and set realistic goals

porffor

You're totally not alone and i do think the brain takes longer to realise that the body has changed. I am in the 'fat' frame of mind still, I look at every picture looking for the fat in me.. it's still there and in my heart I know it's not as bad as it was. I posted a start and during as my main pic on here to show myself some progress.

I also shopped in plus sizes as a 22/24 at my heaviest, and my first real goal was to be able to shop in 'normal' clothing sections / stores.

I have achieve that, and can buy a size under the top sizes in these stores, sometimes even 2, yet I STILL have size 22 clothes I wear occasionally!! not out and about but PJ's and 'comfy' clothes around the house. I am beginning to think I need to ditch them or put them in a box or something to get them out of my wardrobe. I can recognise weight loss however when I wear them, as they are clearly too big and in some cases to the point of making me look like I have clown pants on! lol

I guess what I'm saying is that there are ways we can 'move forward' if we try, and that maybe it's time for you to clear out your closet. That tip about trying on old clothes could really help.

the previous posters comment about the corridoor with chairs in the way is interesting.. I could imagine that is very accurate. I remember (with a giggle) nearly knocking someone OFF a chair (an office chair on wheels) when I was pregnant.. I tried to fit through a gap between chair and photocopier.. and barged the person!! lol My bump had grown a lot since I'd last been in that place and I hadn't realised! lol

kkalg7

Accepting and loving ourselves for who we are right now can be very difficult, especially if we have a history of low self esteem and poor body image. There are a lot of really good people out there who can help.

KarmaxKitty

bump. Not done losing and I have problems with this too...

PJS323

Thank you! Saying a little chant everyday just might help. I'm gonna try it. I know one of the big obstacles is forgiving myself for gaining it in the first place. I'm taking it one day @ a time, and I appreciate you sharing your story & help with me!!

alchmst

When I was learning to fly, we had to wear a blinder that limited our vision to only see the flying controls. It's very scary to not have an outside visual reference when you are 3,000ft. in the air. One crusty old instructor drilled into me, "TRUST your instruments, son... they will never lie and they will keep you alive."

Thank goodness for his wisdom. Indeed, I look in a mirror and see fat, fat, fat. But the scale and measuring tape don't lie; I am 18lbs. lighter and 18 is 18. My bench press has gone from 110lbs. to 220lbs. and 220 is 220. Do I see myself weighing under 200? Nope!

Trust your 'instruments', they will keep you alive!

thedreamhazer

bump

Saving this for the hard days. Sometimes, it helps to know you're not alone in your struggles, and to see the kind words and advice of others.

mgmlap

I have lost 25 pounds..and even though my clothes are baggy..they still arent baggy enough. I still see fat..and its depressing. I think its always going to be easier to see it in others..cause we are our own worst critic.

And whats worse is when we hit plateus..and nothing goes anywhere..but I guess we are on a journey..and sometimes the car stalls..that doesnt mean we get out..we wait patiently..and the car will start moving again.

You are not alone..we all feel this way at one point or another..

Kimmer2011

I look at my clothes and know I swim in them. I try on old clothes that are much closer to fitting now than even a few months ago. I compare old pictures to newer ones, and think, "Yes, I'm definitely thinner." But I look at myself in the mirror and don't see anything different. It goes the other way, too--when I was at my heaviest, I didn't see that, either. I don't know how long it's going to take before I have a more accurate personal image of myself.