This pretty much blew me away...secret mom confessions.

Jenscan

sorry, double posted.

Tabby1980

I don't know where in this whole thread anybody said they'd rather have sleep than no kids. Or a peaceful car trip than no kids. Of COURSE we love our kids. I treasure mine more than anything. But you know, I went 3 full years without getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch. Is it really so shocking that I would like a good night's sleep? That I would like some time to myself? Just because children are blessings doesn't mean that parenthood is all sunshine and roses. Most of the time it's awesome. Sometimes it kind of sucks. Times like when your fully vaccinated child somehow caught rotavirus AGAIN and infected the entire family, and you're cleaning up vomit off the couch for the fifteenth time that night, for the third night in a row, and you're in the throes of illness yourself. So yeah, sometimes parents complain. Because like I said earlier, ZOMG, moms are human, just like everybody else!

I do wish you luck with TTC, because it is a wonderful thing having kids. But don't look down on other moms when they complain. That's not fair. Very few moms would actually want to get rid of their kids. But once in a while, we'd like a night without having to worry about them.

I'm not looking down on other Mum's for being tired or wanting a break, obviously that's only natural...
The specific things that made me angry were people medicating their kids to make them sleep, people preferring their own weight loss ( and not even a large amount!) to their kids intelligencet, people admitting their kids were hurt because they were busy texting or web surfing and people being disgusted about breastfeeding! There's a difference between complaining about your children and wanting some peace and quiet to acting negligibley. Imagine how the parents, or even just the public in general, would react if a nursery nurse or teacher admitted they had let a child get hurt because they weren't paying attention to them or that they'd given them medication to quiet them down!
So sorry if I offended Mum's that are doing their best to be good parents but a lot of people are also quick to assume that if you haven't given birth to a child yourself, you can't have an informed opinion.

ajbeans

Even at that though, you can't watch your kids all the time. Whether you're distracted by your cell phone or by cooking, there are literally dozens of times through the day that you aren't looking at the kids. Should we be spending hours texting or playing Angry Birds? No. But sometimes you get a text from your husband and you answer it, and you look up to find your kid doing something he's not supposed to. It happens to everyone. And I addressed the medicating thing earlier. It's not right, but sometimes people do it on the advice of their pediatricians, their mom, whatever. Sometimes people just really don't know the risks.

I do think it's weird for someone to say she'd rather be thinner than have smarter kids. But it's also a really weird question. The two aren't really comparable. Plus, quite frankly, my kids don't really need to be any smarter. They're pretty smart cookies. :-P

And you absolutely can have an opinion if you don't have kids. You just also need to realize that things look very different when you're in the situation, and that your opinions will probably change when you do have kids. Mine did.

Tabby1980

Your last sentence made me smile It is a wierd question, I guess it's just the idea of people choosing their own vanity over their children that seemed sad. I suppose also miseducation is to blame with the medicating issue, you're right. As for the technology issue of course you can't watch your child every second of the day but I got the impression it was more a case of those who are constantly texting etc rather than interacting with their child. For instance I once saw a young boy and his Mum that I knew from work, sitting nearby me in a cafe and for almost the whole time they were there the mum was on her phone and the child ate his lunch in silence. That made me sad. A few people on here said they had seen much worse working with children and their parents in a hospital and it is hard when you work in childcare and experience people treating their own children in unpleasant ways, I'm not saying everyone is a bad parent or that it isn't normal to have negative thoughts or need some help every now and then, just that some things are not the choices I would make myself.

Lizzy_Sunflower

Totally agree with about 85% of that!!! The worst is the breast feeding thing! Super gross! This is why I have one daughter and I am completely content with her!

wait? what??

breastfeeding is gross???

what are tits for then? flashing? or social network avatars??

I will never understand how someone can think nurturing their child is "gross"

Will_is_the_Power

Snort. Yeah, 'cause volunteering a few hours a week is just like parenting.

Omg this made me snort!

Im surprised they didnt ask more deep questions. Being a parent is tough. No one can prepare you for it and we are all human. I have said things to my kids i wish i didnt but it happens. I have given my kids "sleepy juice" when they were climbing the walls at 11 cause my dumb *kitten* let them have a soda or something in the evening. i have taken my eyes off them before not necessarily for technology just from some kind of distractions.

But one thing is for sure I love my kids with every fiber of my being but for the love of all things designer can i freaking go pee alone for once at my home? Kids are pains in the butt sometimes and they dont give a damn how you feel. They live for the moment. I have to step back sometimes and remember that all they want is to be loved. Which i do.

I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents. I go to work to get away from it all. I know some people say "well you shouldnt have had kids" well youre probably right not all people are meant to be parents. But dont judge someone over their honesty. As long as people dont act on those negative thoughts then whats the problem. Dont tell me that you have never had an ugly thought in your head that afterwards you thought "now thats not cool" and you immediately change your thoughts? Come on now lets be honest here.

BTW i have 2 very well behaved children because we believe in discipline in my house. But kids test the limits like nobody's business. Lawdy! They will work your nerves. So I say spend at least 7 days with someone's kids as a stay at home parent (24/7) then report back to me and let me know if you used generic benadryl or the name brand.

Take it from the father of two super hyper-active boys, you are speaking the truth!

But be careful with the Benadryl, it is (not widely) known to impair cognitive function. There are some alternative aids that are safer than benadryl. (i.e. Calms, Forte.)

Just FYI :-)

PeachyKeene

It is so funny, when my kids were smaller, all I wanted was some me time, but when I got it, I couldn't wait to get back to them.

The whole thing about breastfeeding is a bit crazy I believe. That is what breast are for, come on. I guess I could understand it a little, since most people find them more as sexual objects instead of what they are really intended for.

The whole drug their child issue is unbelievable. Really!?

But, I did one time almost burn the house down, playing on the computer. My kids never got hurt, but easily could have.

ETA: I was a stay at home mom of 3 less than a year and half between each one. I never gave my children any drug other than what the doctor prescribed, but I did make the foolish mistake of allowing my sister-in-law keep them, about 5 years ago, while I was in the hospital for liver problems, and they told me she gave them Tylenol PM in the mornings to make them go back to sleep once they woke up. Because she would put them to bed a decent time, and stay up all night herself, then when they were ready to get up she wasn't. I will say this, I don't talk to her anymore. I could have rung her nappy headed neck!

boomboom011

Snort. Yeah, 'cause volunteering a few hours a week is just like parenting.

Omg this made me snort!

Im surprised they didnt ask more deep questions. Being a parent is tough. No one can prepare you for it and we are all human. I have said things to my kids i wish i didnt but it happens. I have given my kids "sleepy juice" when they were climbing the walls at 11 cause my dumb *kitten* let them have a soda or something in the evening. i have taken my eyes off them before not necessarily for technology just from some kind of distractions.

But one thing is for sure I love my kids with every fiber of my being but for the love of all things designer can i freaking go pee alone for once at my home? Kids are pains in the butt sometimes and they dont give a damn how you feel. They live for the moment. I have to step back sometimes and remember that all they want is to be loved. Which i do.

I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents. I go to work to get away from it all. I know some people say "well you shouldnt have had kids" well youre probably right not all people are meant to be parents. But dont judge someone over their honesty. As long as people dont act on those negative thoughts then whats the problem. Dont tell me that you have never had an ugly thought in your head that afterwards you thought "now thats not cool" and you immediately change your thoughts? Come on now lets be honest here.

BTW i have 2 very well behaved children because we believe in discipline in my house. But kids test the limits like nobody's business. Lawdy! They will work your nerves. So I say spend at least 7 days with someone's kids as a stay at home parent (24/7) then report back to me and let me know if you used generic benadryl or the name brand.

Take it from the father of two super hyper-active boys, you are speaking the truth!

But be careful with the Benadryl, it is (not widely) known to impair cognitive function. There are some alternative aids that are safer than benadryl. (i.e. Calms, Forte.)

Just FYI :-)

thanks! i will buy some for my sister in gallons! lol
my kids are 5 and 11. they know whats up now. plus im way more laid back now than when they were smaller. you learn dont sweat the small stuff right? Plus if they act crazy they clean toilets. I dont spank my kids i make them do manual labor FOR FREE. Thats right I said it FOR FREE! Toilets, base boards, floors, pooper scoopers, pulling weeds, dusting, you name it.

Erica002

LOL wow!! I'm a mom and I agree with some of it.

Chiquita_Banana

i guess to each his own, i'm a mommy of twins turning 3 in september and i love them to death, would not change anything for the world, and i am also preggo with my third peanut i think breastfeeding is a beautiful thing.... and whenever i need a lone time i tell my hubby n he handles it... everyone needs breaks once in a while, i dont believe in medicating to sleep... to me thats what motherhood is about sacrificing for your children... they won't be able to thank you at this moment but rest assured when they get older and become parents of their own they will understand the hard work and sacrifice of being a parent and will deifnately appreciate all that has been done for them... that's how i felt about my parents when i became a mom just my thoughts....

jmruef

Just a thought about sending kids to school when they're sick...sometimes school is where kids get their meals for the day - breakfast and lunch. Mom and/or dad might be out of work, homeless, in a shelter. Sometimes Mom or Dad (think single-parent families here) have to work or they don't get paid, and they can't afford child care. (Lots of daycares will have parents come get their kids if they're sick anyway.) Maybe they got laid off from that job that let them afford it (gotta love the economy), and now they're working a different job that pays the bills, but not much else. If they don't get paid they don't pay utilities, rent, groceries, etc. They would rather stay home with a sick kid and comfort them and help them get well, but in their minds it truly is the lesser of the two evils to make sure the house has electricity (or that they have a house!) for one more month.

jkleman79

Blew you away? I'm guessing you don't have kids. OR you have a lovely woman who takes care of them. (:

I agree... and the people that are disturbed by this prob dont have kids either.

being a mother is the most rewarding but also the most thankless job!!!!

As I politely agreed with this earlier in the post no I do not have kids.. I work with kids that were neglected, raped, molested and have had friends committing suicide. Sooo if anyone wants to take over those issues I will gladly take over some of the parenting ones.

LCDMomma

I’m a Mom of triplets and here are my answers~Honest

#1.) They Want to Be Left Alone.
YES PLEASE!! I would just love to be able to go to the bathroom by myself and not hear: MOMMA what are you doing? I want to come in. Momma ____ hit me etc.

#2.) They're Weird About Seeing Other Women Breastfeeding.
Doesn’t both me.

#3.) They Send Their Kids to School Sick.
I try not to do this but my job has threatened me if I take off any more days for sick kids then I will be fire. As long as I check into work I can leave to go pick sick kids up from school.

#4.) Most of Them Would Like a Do Over.
My kids are still young but I would have LOVED to be a SAHM

4% question their decision to have kids ALTOGETHER . . . and 10% wish their child was the opposite sex. Of the moms who wished their kid was the other gender, 60% wish they'd had a girl instead of a boy.
I’m happy to have my babies and fought to have them. I have 2 boys and a girl and that is what I wanted. Although one day I would love to have another girl.

#5.) They'd Choose Great Sleep Over Great Sex.
I would choose good sex! Get a good workout in:

#6.) They're Distracted by Technology.
I get on the computer while I’m at work or after the trio is asleep.

#7.) They Medicate Their Kids More Than You Think.
We do have to give Dramamine on car rides, since the trio gets car sick. One benefit is they sleep another is they don’t puke in the car

#8.) They Judge Other Moms Constantly.
I try not to judge other Mom’s but I feel as a Mom I’m constantly being judged by other Mom’s and having them compare their kids to mine.

#9.) They Have a Favorite Child.
Nope. Although there are days one of my kids are easier than the other 2 but I have never favored one over another

#10.) They Use Their Kids to Get Out of Things.
Not really. Maybe a few times but I can’t think of any good examples when I have

Two other quick findings from the survey: 25% are worried their partner is a better parent than they are . . . and 44% say they'd rather be 15 pounds thinner than add 15 points to their child's IQ
I Think both of us are good parents but in different areas.
Shoot I want smart kids so when they grow up they can make big $$

VeganInTraining

I get what you're saying about working with those children, and it is very easy to start hating parents when working with children who have been that kind of stuff (I used to work in that field as well) however, the survey is about the majority of parents not about the 10 percent who neglect their children and allow bad things to happen to them (and I'm not saying that if a child is raped or molested it is the parents fault, but sometimes it IS the parents fault) HOWEVER, after spending extensive time with my siblings who have kids, I totally understand why most mom's would feel the way these moms do. (aside from drugging them, wishing they never had them, and wanting to lose weight rather than better their children) I am trying to have kids now and can't wait to, not get any sleep, never have any time alone, get people grossed out by me breastfeeding and the like, I also know that I will miss the days when I got 8 hours of sleep, had a rockin body, and could do what I wanted when I wanted.

I get where you're coming from, I've been there, it took me time not to hate all parents but then I realized that just because someone misses their past sometimes does not mean they would trade what they have now to have it back.

VeganInTraining

Also, I can't WAIT to be out of the military and back to working with troubled kids. It was the hardest job i ever had, but I miss it and those children everyday (even the one that attacked me with scissors)

jkleman79

I get what you're saying about working with those children, and it is very easy to start hating parents when working with children who have been that kind of stuff (I used to work in that field as well) however, the survey is about the majority of parents not about the 10 percent who neglect their children and allow bad things to happen to them (and I'm not saying that if a child is raped or molested it is the parents fault, but sometimes it IS the parents fault) HOWEVER, after spending extensive time with my siblings who have kids, I totally understand why most mom's would feel the way these moms do. (aside from drugging them, wishing they never had them, and wanting to lose weight rather than better their children) I am trying to have kids now and can't wait to, not get any sleep, never have any time alone, get people grossed out by me breastfeeding and the like, I also know that I will miss the days when I got 8 hours of sleep, had a rockin body, and could do what I wanted when I wanted.

I get where you're coming from, I've been there, it took me time not to hate all parents but then I realized that just because someone misses their past sometimes does not mean they would trade what they have now to have it back.

I don't hold all parents to this at all...it does make you dislike some though that is for sure. Really one of the topics that has always blown my mind, and I have found mostly in the U.S is the problem parents have about talking about sex with their kids. All I am asking is be an adult and talk to them about this stuff its natural it happens and no matter what you think its already happening. Kids should be learning this stuff the first year of junior high PERIOD! I know kids myself at 9 and 10 years old with kids! TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEX!!! If you think you are in time still you are probably sadly wrong. I have been avoiding starting anything on here and just reading but this one bugs the **** out of me. I have two sisters that had kids at 16 so I seen the havoc it has on families. Help prevent it! Ok thats my soap box. Dislike me all you want but I am standing hard and strong on that topic. THANKS! =0)

VeganInTraining

OMG I completely agree! Also, teach your children that it's OK to say "no" even to your family. I hate when my step mom makes me nieces and nephews feel bad if they don't want to give me a hug. Does it make me sad when they don't want to hug me? Yes, but they only see me once or twice a year so i'm not super familiar. I think it's REALLY important to teach your kids they can say no to physical touch even if it's from someone that the family trusts. I used to work at a smoothy shop and this woman came in with her kids and a family member. The family member picked up the kid and the kid screamed like crazy. The mom simply took the kid, put her down and said "it's ok, if you don't want him to hold you, you can just say 'please don't touch me' " I wanted to give that mom a freakin metal! I agree with you 100 percent on this one!

jkleman79

OMG I completely agree! Also, teach your children that it's OK to say "no" even to your family. I hate when my step mom makes me nieces and nephews feel bad if they don't want to give me a hug. Does it make me sad when they don't want to hug me? Yes, but they only see me once or twice a year so i'm not super familiar. I think it's REALLY important to teach your kids they can say no to physical touch even if it's from someone that the family trusts. I used to work at a smoothy shop and this woman came in with her kids and a family member. The family member picked up the kid and the kid screamed like crazy. The mom simply took the kid, put her down and said "it's ok, if you don't want him to hold you, you can just say 'please don't touch me' " I wanted to give that mom a freakin metal! I agree with you 100 percent on this one!

Yea I see this a lot with the touch thing. I am certified in pediatric massage therapy actually. Children shouldn't have to deal with bad or unwanted touch and should have their own voice against it. Its what is going to protect them in the future. On the other side of it as a therapist it does help kids a lot having nurturing touch. Parents should be massaging or having bonding time with their kids as much as they can. Girls starting at pre teen should be receiving body work on a regular basis. It has been proven from many studies to help with self esteem and confidence. It makes them understand that there is nothing wrong with them and they are ok the way they are.

dancer4275

And this is why my generation of kids/teens/college kids is in trouble. SO glad my parents were never like that!

crisanderson27

#10.) They Use Their Kids to Get Out of Things. 84% have used their kids as an excuse to skip a social event they didn't want to go to. And 45% do that at least once a month.

Single father going on 10 years now and this one is magic!

I'm right with you...almost 13yrs here...and that's the ONLY one I'm 'guilty' of...and only every great once in awhile. If anything, I go to more social events, family or otherwise...FOR my kids.