Treated Differently

ElizabethObviously

I know when you are heavier, people do treat you differently, not always the best but not necc. the worst.

I am wondering what kinds of things have happened to you since you have lost weight? Have people treated different? Have you noticed any changes in how people look at you or treat you?

Sj20fame

Ummm I get stares from friends, about the way I eat...for example I don't drink as much liquier anymore when we go to the clubs, and I watch what I eat now, so I get stares and they constantly stare at my body?? I haven't had many of my friends comment, but I think it's because my weight loss is not as noticable yet....but my eating habits have improved

Aesop101

I haven't noticed any difference in treatment. Then again I'm still 85 lbs. overweight. I have been told several times that I'm on fire due to losing weight and some other accomplishments.

mynameiscarrie

i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

it happened to me the other day and my boyfriend was like "you realize that comes along with getting fit and attractive"
I hadn't really thought about it. it's annoying but hey, at least it's because i'm attractive now lol

Chantelle160

Its a lose lose situation. When you heavy you get critisized and when your skinny its not much better. I get the your to skinny or the skinny ***** comments. Or the oh look you have no bum! lol Humans are a weird nothing is ever good enough. So do whats good for you and screw the rest.

Soulbird81

I know when you are heavier, people do treat you differently, not always the best but not necc. the worst.

I am wondering what kinds of things have happened to you since you have lost weight? Have people treated different? Have you noticed any changes in how people look at you or treat you?

I suppose I have been lucky enough to not have dealt with this. When I was heavier I did not hear the comments from other people, they all came from me...now that I am so much lighter people comment all the time about how much smaller I am. If anything people comment about how they wish they had my strength because I no longer drink (except a beer at special events) and I do not eat fast food...people also comment about how often I eat now compared to before....maybe they were just better at never letting me hear them, not sure :0D

HMonsterX

When i would get on the dance machine before people would kinda chuckle...a fat bloke trying to do this lol...till i put it on expert and blew them away.

I don't get that look anymore. Not sure if its a good thing or not =/

Sj20fame

i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

it happened to me the other day and my boyfriend was like "you realize that comes along with getting fit and attractive"
I hadn't really thought about it. it's annoying but hey, at least it's because i'm attractive now lol

OHYEs, that is the truth!! I really don't see a big difference in myself cause I don't feel that I was fluffy to begin with, but Obviously something is different cause men are just like dogs in heat!! Ewww... I've been going to the same park for 5 years, and now people are wisteling, I'm married so it's embarrassing, and irritating cause they know I'm married!

Guinivere

I have had people at work respond to me differently - they seem to take me more seriously. I think that a lot of humans don't even realise that they subconsciously think fat people are undisciplined, weak, unfocussed, and unsuccessful, perhaps even less intelligent.

I know I don't do my nervous laugh as much as I did - so my own confidence improving is possibly also having an effect on how they see me.

My family stare at me a bit - and some are jealous and think I need fattening up! lol (I'm 5ft 7" and 195lbs so not exactly skinny!)

A couple of people have commented that I need to buy new clothes - but I'm not wealthy and I'm halfway on my journey so I'm buying anything until I reach my goal. I have a sewing machine and will take my clothes in.

I'm going to enjoy recycling my old fat clothes. I will never need them again. (Thanks Dr Pierre Dukan) :-)

Guinivere

You're so right hon :-) (Chantelle160)

dancer4275

Its a lose lose situation. When you heavy you get critisized and when your skinny its not much better. I get the your to skinny or the skinny ***** comments. Or the oh look you have no bum! lol Humans are a weird nothing is ever good enough. So do whats good for you and screw the rest.

YES! They make fun of you if they think you are too overweight...then when you lose weight, they say that you're too skinny. I hate it!

thedreamhazer

i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

This is a major issue for me. I was used to being invisible when I was out with my friends. I get a lot of unwanted attention from men now, and it's not a good thing. As a matter of fact, I despise it. It makes me uncomfortable to go out, and when I do I don't dress cute anymore like I used to.

So, be prepared for this. I wish that I had been, I could have mentally prepared so that I wouldn't be such a mess about it now.

Maggie_Pie1

A little. I work with mostly men. They are more apt to hold the door open for me instead of just walk through it and let it shut, LOL. They seem to be more chivalrous.

PaulaAnn143

I have very much noticed how differently I'm treated. Mostly by men, which I knew would happen, but it happens alot, and yes it is creepy! Also by women who seem to talk to me more often, like in elevators and store lines. But mostly when I'm out and bout I dont feel like I'm being stared at. I have had times when I have gottten dirty looks while eating out, but not any more. Most recently I was at a get together with women I didn't know except the person I was with. We were talking about clothing and one person made a comment about a store called Lane Bryant and she felt that she had to explain to me that they only sell clothing for a full figured woman, and how I wouldn't know anything about that. It was kinda snotty. Another time Lane Bryant sent me some coupons worth $15 and all I had to spend was the $15, so it was like free money, since I had spent so much there over the years I didn't feel bad going to spend the $15 on jewelry. It was actually two coupons $15 each so I went to the mall to look around that store and I couldnt believe the looks I got from the employees! So heavy or not there are still gonna be those people who are rude.

PaulaAnn143

A little. I work with mostly men. They are more apt to hold the door open for me instead of just walk through it and let it shut, LOL. They seem to be more chivalrous.

Yes I have notice this too!

PalmettoparkGuy

Yes. I'm about at my goal. I get way more looks, people are much more inclined to be nice to you and treat you better. It's sad but true. Even when I exercise, now that I'm in much better shape, people are more respectful when you're jogging or at the gym. People in my neighborhood who I've seen for years suddenly want to strike up a conversation.
The bad comes with it too. There are many people that are jealous and make ridiculous comments about being too skinny etc. The point is: No matter what you do, you can't please everybody so f*** all of them.

nellymonkey

As with everything there is good and bad to both sides i was miserable as a teenager i was very big at school and was taunted every day which made me feel really low this was obviously the down side to being big it makes u self concious and angrry and that never goes away im afraid no matter how much weight you loose that person inside u is still there but that is not a bad thing let me explain ...... when i was bigger i knew who were my real friends the people who looked past the outside and saw me for me no matter what size i was that is what i held onto and that is what meant more to me in the whole world at 16 i was a size 22 uk by the time i was 21 i was a size 10 (was too skinny felt just as self concious as when i was bigger ) treated totally different tho people who i would see out at clubs or bars could not believe it was me some were the exact people that ridiculed me at school but this time they wanted to be friends with me or tried chatting me up and although this made me feel god in one way it made me doubley angry like hey u didnt want to know me then so why now ! i am now 34 and a size 14 i feel comfortable but am still self concious but i am and alway will be a mentally larger person in my head people can be so cruel out there or is it uneducated???? it comes with learning to accept who you are be happy with that and not to pay attention to nievity from other people and have friends that love you for you not what size or shape or how u look thats when u find true happiness xxx sorry for waffling but your post most deff caught my eye x

moushtie

I am still very fat, and I know some men treat me differently. But sometimes in a good way - I get chatted up by the quiet guys, because they're too intimidated by the "pretty" girls. I also seem to be allowed to flirt with my married male friends, because their wives don't see me as a threat...

And yes, you can tell the prejudiced people from the genuine friends more easily.. those who dismiss me because I'm fat soon find out their mistake when they get to know me.

JenCM

I haven't noticed a whole lot yet. But I can say this - when I lost a lot of weight a long time ago (went from about the weight I am now, to what my goal weight is!) I noticed a little different treatment...just people generally nicer, more friendly, more likely to talk to me or help me. But when I started to gain all that weight BACK I definitely noticed a huge difference. I no longer got doors held open for me, I'd smile at people and they'd ignore it, it was like I was suddenly invisible or just too fat to be treated like a person.
The only thing I've noticed so far with my loss, is that my FIL who is all about looks and has reamed my hubby for "not marrying for beauty or money" like he taught him to do....is now a bit kinder to me at times. I have a feeling the thinner I get, the nicer he'll get. lol

tigersmoondiva

I have been on both sides of this - I have been a size 2 and a size 22. I don't really have friends anymore after I realized that I actually had two SETS - one at 2 - and one at 22 - On each side in fact people .. treated me different would be an understatement. My "fat" friends wouldn't talk to me much when I was skinny - and my skinny friends pretended not to know me as I got fat.

I have a total of 2 friends now - a woman that lives close to me - and my husband. My husband has been up and down the coaster with me more than once - so at least I know I can depend on him;)

THIS is part of my issue with fat though. The times I was skinny - I was sexually assaulted. I hang on to my fat to try to protect myself from that again. My husband is saying I am not being fair to myself (or him) so - he put me in Karate classes and bought me a gun. So here goes nothing

dezcalouette

The first time I lost a lot of weight, it seemed everyone wanted to point it out a work. Three or four times a day I'd hear 'Oh, wow-- what's your secret?' and comments like 'the incredible shrinking woman!' Most of these comments came from women, and mostly older women at that. Motherly figures trying to be very supportive, bless their hearts.
Believe it or not, even that positive attention made me feel uncomfortable. It made me feel like I was being stared at more-- especially in the lunch room. And since I heard it so much, I feared if I ever fell off the wagon, I would be the talk of the town. I've never been one that liked being the center of attention for ANY reason.
Call me a product of a lifetime of low self-esteem, but when you continually hear surprised exclamations of 'Wow! You're looking so good!' it makes me feel like saying, 'Just how hideous was I before?'

wildon883r

Generally speaking most men don't find fat women attractive yet there are some beautiful overweight women mostly facially. A fit male generally wants a fit female for many reasons and not all those are physical. With that being said i don't treat people differently because of there weight but naturally when it comes to picking and choosing a partner overweight women go to the back of the line because for me i find obesity a sign of lack of discipline because it is. I lost ALOT of weight and yes i look good but i didn't do it for anybody other then myself. I'm treated the same now as when i was 50 lbs heavier. I'm much healthier now and that benefits every occasion even under the covers. True friends don't care what you look like but alot of times those who want to be more then friends most certainly do.

annacataldo

Well, im still 256lbs, so im 85lbs overweight still, so I haven't been treated any differently by men so far, but im getting really irritated by ppl around me saying how great I look, and how proud they are of me and yadda yadda. Yea I've went from 325 at one point down to what I am now, I know, why u gotta remind me everyday? I was prepared for it once I got near goal weight, but I guess not all along the way..im still pretty overweight and to get compliments about how great I look when im still so insecure about my body just messes with my head.

otr12

I ran by a construction sight this morning.

Nothing.

I'll have to try again in a couple months.

dad106

I noticed people treat me nicer and guys flirt more... and the ones at the gym like to stare at my *kitten* more thats for sure!

For the most part though people don't notice unless I'm wearing really tight reveling clothes, then it's oh you look amazing and blah blah blah. When I say I lost 25 pounds i get Wow.. thats a lot of weight! Being on here though and seeing what everyone else has done, my 25 pounds seems measly at best!

holly_v

when i started my weight loss i got a lot of encouraging comments which were nice. then i started getting comments like "you shouldnt loose anymore" "you are starting to look anorexic" (far from true 5'5" 140lbs at the time) at christmas i made christmas bark and someone says "well if holly made it it has to be healthy" i didnt like those comments.

i hate eating in the lunch room at my work because people comment on what i am eating "all you eat is vegetables" ya so what? whats wrong with veggies?

i dont know how to explain it but i also hate when people refer to me as being on a diet. im not. i just eat healthy. i dont "cheat" when i have a chocolate bar i plan around it (and might exercise 15 minutes longer

valligator

Wildon, dude... I do not envy the sh*tstorm that's coming your way.

2dayirun4me

A friend of mine will make little comments like the food i eat is bland or she will openly say to a room of people that she isn't gonna lose weight just to make her husband happy and those two things hurt me but I've gotten use to it and just leave the room...by the way neither one are true my food has plenty of flavor for my taste buds and honestly if i was solely loosing weight just so i was more attractive to my husband i would be miserable besides he loves me for me not my weight..

i say go for your weight loss goal and do it for yourself the person who matters the most

otr12

Wildon, dude... I do not envy the sh*tstorm that's coming your way.

He was being honest. I don't see the problem.

mimiswoboda

Wildon, dude... I do not envy the sh*tstorm that's coming your way.

hahahaha! Love this!!!!!

But to the question, YES I'm treated very differently. I'm hit on quite a bit, people make more eye contact, doors are opened more, it's a totally different world. I feel much more respected. Sad.

veganbaum

I started putting on weight sort of purposely in a sort of subconscious type of way. I absolutely hated the way boys/men would look at me and treat me when I was thin - like that's all that mattered. At least when I was more overweight, I generally knew who my real friends were and that a guy liked me for me. Once I had my initial weight loss, I started noticing more of that attention again. Cat calls and crap. I expect more once I reach my goal weight, but now it doesn't have the same effect on me psychologically that it once did, basically I can ignore it and write those people off. I also think that people judge what overweight people eat WAY more than skinny people. Each person could be eating or buying the same food, but I think others judge the overweight person - like they shouldn't be eating that if it's a sweet or something, even though skinny does not equal healthy.

Notice a pattern here? Most of us don't appreciate the way many men choose to express their appreciation of our bodies. I only hope to find a man to make my life partner who knows how to be a gentleman, but also how to make me feel sexy without being degrading.