Treated Differently

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ElizabethObviously
ElizabethObviously Posts: 380 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know when you are heavier, people do treat you differently, not always the best but not necc. the worst.

I am wondering what kinds of things have happened to you since you have lost weight? Have people treated different? Have you noticed any changes in how people look at you or treat you?
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Replies

  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
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    Ummm I get stares from friends, about the way I eat...for example I don't drink as much liquier anymore when we go to the clubs, and I watch what I eat now, so I get stares and they constantly stare at my body?? I haven't had many of my friends comment, but I think it's because my weight loss is not as noticable yet....but my eating habits have improved :)
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
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    I haven't noticed any difference in treatment. Then again I'm still 85 lbs. overweight. I have been told several times that I'm on fire due to losing weight and some other accomplishments.
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
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    i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

    it happened to me the other day and my boyfriend was like "you realize that comes along with getting fit and attractive"
    I hadn't really thought about it. it's annoying but hey, at least it's because i'm attractive now lol
  • Chantelle160
    Chantelle160 Posts: 127
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    Its a lose lose situation. When you heavy you get critisized and when your skinny its not much better. I get the your to skinny or the skinny ***** comments. Or the oh look you have no bum! lol Humans are a weird nothing is ever good enough. So do whats good for you and screw the rest.
  • Soulbird81
    Soulbird81 Posts: 86
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    I know when you are heavier, people do treat you differently, not always the best but not necc. the worst.

    I am wondering what kinds of things have happened to you since you have lost weight? Have people treated different? Have you noticed any changes in how people look at you or treat you?

    I suppose I have been lucky enough to not have dealt with this. When I was heavier I did not hear the comments from other people, they all came from me...now that I am so much lighter people comment all the time about how much smaller I am. If anything people comment about how they wish they had my strength because I no longer drink (except a beer at special events) and I do not eat fast food...people also comment about how often I eat now compared to before....maybe they were just better at never letting me hear them, not sure :0D
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    When i would get on the dance machine before people would kinda chuckle...a fat bloke trying to do this lol...till i put it on expert and blew them away.

    I don't get that look anymore. Not sure if its a good thing or not =/
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
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    i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

    it happened to me the other day and my boyfriend was like "you realize that comes along with getting fit and attractive"
    I hadn't really thought about it. it's annoying but hey, at least it's because i'm attractive now lol

    OHYEs, that is the truth!! I really don't see a big difference in myself cause I don't feel that I was fluffy to begin with, but Obviously something is different cause men are just like dogs in heat!! Ewww... I've been going to the same park for 5 years, and now people are wisteling, I'm married so it's embarrassing, and irritating cause they know I'm married!
  • Guinivere
    Guinivere Posts: 357 Member
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    I have had people at work respond to me differently - they seem to take me more seriously. I think that a lot of humans don't even realise that they subconsciously think fat people are undisciplined, weak, unfocussed, and unsuccessful, perhaps even less intelligent.

    I know I don't do my nervous laugh as much as I did - so my own confidence improving is possibly also having an effect on how they see me.

    My family stare at me a bit - and some are jealous and think I need fattening up! lol (I'm 5ft 7" and 195lbs so not exactly skinny!)

    A couple of people have commented that I need to buy new clothes - but I'm not wealthy and I'm halfway on my journey so I'm buying anything until I reach my goal. I have a sewing machine and will take my clothes in.

    I'm going to enjoy recycling my old fat clothes. I will never need them again. (Thanks Dr Pierre Dukan) :-)
  • Guinivere
    Guinivere Posts: 357 Member
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    You're so right hon :-) (Chantelle160)
  • dancer4275
    dancer4275 Posts: 149
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    Its a lose lose situation. When you heavy you get critisized and when your skinny its not much better. I get the your to skinny or the skinny ***** comments. Or the oh look you have no bum! lol Humans are a weird nothing is ever good enough. So do whats good for you and screw the rest.

    YES! They make fun of you if they think you are too overweight...then when you lose weight, they say that you're too skinny. I hate it!
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
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    i get hit on a lot more... which seems like a good thing but its kind of irritating. i have a boyfriend of almost 2 years. and a lot of men don't know how to properly hit on a woman. they think cat calls and "eh sup sexy" is flattering...it's not. its creepy.

    This is a major issue for me. I was used to being invisible when I was out with my friends. I get a lot of unwanted attention from men now, and it's not a good thing. As a matter of fact, I despise it. It makes me uncomfortable to go out, and when I do I don't dress cute anymore like I used to.

    So, be prepared for this. I wish that I had been, I could have mentally prepared so that I wouldn't be such a mess about it now.
  • Maggie_Pie1
    Maggie_Pie1 Posts: 322 Member
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    A little. I work with mostly men. They are more apt to hold the door open for me instead of just walk through it and let it shut, LOL. They seem to be more chivalrous.
  • PaulaAnn143
    PaulaAnn143 Posts: 23
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    I have very much noticed how differently I'm treated. Mostly by men, which I knew would happen, but it happens alot, and yes it is creepy! Also by women who seem to talk to me more often, like in elevators and store lines. But mostly when I'm out and bout I dont feel like I'm being stared at. I have had times when I have gottten dirty looks while eating out, but not any more. Most recently I was at a get together with women I didn't know except the person I was with. We were talking about clothing and one person made a comment about a store called Lane Bryant and she felt that she had to explain to me that they only sell clothing for a full figured woman, and how I wouldn't know anything about that. It was kinda snotty. Another time Lane Bryant sent me some coupons worth $15 and all I had to spend was the $15, so it was like free money, since I had spent so much there over the years I didn't feel bad going to spend the $15 on jewelry. It was actually two coupons $15 each so I went to the mall to look around that store and I couldnt believe the looks I got from the employees! So heavy or not there are still gonna be those people who are rude.
  • PaulaAnn143
    PaulaAnn143 Posts: 23
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    A little. I work with mostly men. They are more apt to hold the door open for me instead of just walk through it and let it shut, LOL. They seem to be more chivalrous.



    Yes I have notice this too!
  • PalmettoparkGuy
    PalmettoparkGuy Posts: 212 Member
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    Yes. I'm about at my goal. I get way more looks, people are much more inclined to be nice to you and treat you better. It's sad but true. Even when I exercise, now that I'm in much better shape, people are more respectful when you're jogging or at the gym. People in my neighborhood who I've seen for years suddenly want to strike up a conversation.
    The bad comes with it too. There are many people that are jealous and make ridiculous comments about being too skinny etc. The point is: No matter what you do, you can't please everybody so f*** all of them.
  • nellymonkey
    nellymonkey Posts: 13
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    As with everything there is good and bad to both sides i was miserable as a teenager i was very big at school and was taunted every day which made me feel really low this was obviously the down side to being big it makes u self concious and angrry and that never goes away im afraid no matter how much weight you loose that person inside u is still there but that is not a bad thing let me explain ...... when i was bigger i knew who were my real friends the people who looked past the outside and saw me for me no matter what size i was that is what i held onto and that is what meant more to me in the whole world at 16 i was a size 22 uk by the time i was 21 i was a size 10 (was too skinny felt just as self concious as when i was bigger ) treated totally different tho people who i would see out at clubs or bars could not believe it was me some were the exact people that ridiculed me at school but this time they wanted to be friends with me or tried chatting me up and although this made me feel god in one way it made me doubley angry like hey u didnt want to know me then so why now ! i am now 34 and a size 14 i feel comfortable but am still self concious but i am and alway will be a mentally larger person in my head people can be so cruel out there or is it uneducated???? it comes with learning to accept who you are be happy with that and not to pay attention to nievity from other people and have friends that love you for you not what size or shape or how u look thats when u find true happiness xxx sorry for waffling but your post most deff caught my eye x :)
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
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    I am still very fat, and I know some men treat me differently. But sometimes in a good way - I get chatted up by the quiet guys, because they're too intimidated by the "pretty" girls. I also seem to be allowed to flirt with my married male friends, because their wives don't see me as a threat...

    And yes, you can tell the prejudiced people from the genuine friends more easily.. those who dismiss me because I'm fat soon find out their mistake when they get to know me.
  • JenCM
    JenCM Posts: 195
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    I haven't noticed a whole lot yet. But I can say this - when I lost a lot of weight a long time ago (went from about the weight I am now, to what my goal weight is!) I noticed a little different treatment...just people generally nicer, more friendly, more likely to talk to me or help me. But when I started to gain all that weight BACK I definitely noticed a huge difference. I no longer got doors held open for me, I'd smile at people and they'd ignore it, it was like I was suddenly invisible or just too fat to be treated like a person.
    The only thing I've noticed so far with my loss, is that my FIL who is all about looks and has reamed my hubby for "not marrying for beauty or money" like he taught him to do....is now a bit kinder to me at times. I have a feeling the thinner I get, the nicer he'll get. lol
  • tigersmoondiva
    tigersmoondiva Posts: 93 Member
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    I have been on both sides of this - I have been a size 2 and a size 22. I don't really have friends anymore after I realized that I actually had two SETS - one at 2 - and one at 22 - On each side in fact people .. treated me different would be an understatement. My "fat" friends wouldn't talk to me much when I was skinny - and my skinny friends pretended not to know me as I got fat.

    I have a total of 2 friends now - a woman that lives close to me - and my husband. My husband has been up and down the coaster with me more than once - so at least I know I can depend on him;)

    THIS is part of my issue with fat though. The times I was skinny - I was sexually assaulted. I hang on to my fat to try to protect myself from that again. My husband is saying I am not being fair to myself (or him) so - he put me in Karate classes and bought me a gun. So here goes nothing
  • dezcalouette
    dezcalouette Posts: 13 Member
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    The first time I lost a lot of weight, it seemed everyone wanted to point it out a work. Three or four times a day I'd hear 'Oh, wow-- what's your secret?' and comments like 'the incredible shrinking woman!' Most of these comments came from women, and mostly older women at that. Motherly figures trying to be very supportive, bless their hearts.
    Believe it or not, even that positive attention made me feel uncomfortable. It made me feel like I was being stared at more-- especially in the lunch room. And since I heard it so much, I feared if I ever fell off the wagon, I would be the talk of the town. I've never been one that liked being the center of attention for ANY reason.
    Call me a product of a lifetime of low self-esteem, but when you continually hear surprised exclamations of 'Wow! You're looking so good!' it makes me feel like saying, 'Just how hideous was I before?'

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