so heartbreaking and discouraging :(:(

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Replies

  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Why is everyone being so judgmental about the fact that the rude lady works at the food court?

    OP, it was a rude thing to say, but most people who make rude comments do it because they don't think about how it is going to be interpreted, rather than out of malice. Maybe she never thought you looked heavy in the first place.
  • AdoraK
    AdoraK Posts: 724 Member
    It sucks that someone can say something and it affects you enough to make you doubt all that you are and all that you have accomplished. I hate it. *shakes head* *kitten*.

    Forget about the b*tch!!!
  • JNettie73
    JNettie73 Posts: 1,211 Member
    Wow. My heart broke for you reading your post. You did not deserve to be treated that way. My mother-in-law has said rude and hateful things to me like the way this woman was rude to you. I know how much it hurts. I am sorry you had to deal with that. It saddens me when people are intentionally cruel to others. I like to think that it is because the person being mean has issues with their own self. They use their mean spiritedness as tool to put other people down, in return making themselves feel good about their own self. It doesn't make their actions/ words correct by any means, but that is how I like to think of it.

    Please do not let this woman get to you and destroy your confidence. A 27 pound weight loss is A LOT to be proud of! You should be proud of yourself. I cannot wait for the day when I am able to say "I lost 27 lbs!!!"

    Sending a big hug your way......
    (((HUGS)))
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    don't worry about it too much

    you're not doing this for her - you're doing this for you
  • ShrinkingNinja
    ShrinkingNinja Posts: 460 Member
    I would have stepped back and screamed that one of the noodles was moving on the counter or something. Let her deal with the aftermath... If she is going to be an ignorant bitty, she deserves a little drama in her day. LOL

    I am creatively bee-itchy that way. ;)
  • PalmettoparkGuy
    PalmettoparkGuy Posts: 212 Member
    We seriously have to get over people's comments. Seriously, I think I have just as many or more negative comments now that I'm close to goal than I was when I was fat.
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    Best believe she noticed and her daughter told her. Women share those type things with their moms. Be careful of fake people. The mother all but let you know they have been talking about you. Brush those haters off your shoulders and keep moving forward. You lost a great amount of weight. If she hasn't noticed wait til she see's you in a few months. Knock all their socks off.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    I went to the food court today to grab some asian food before my doctors appointment. The woman behind the counter was my friend's mom and she was the one who served me. After I paid, she asked me if I wanted any water. I said "yes" and before she was about to pour the water, she asked if I wanted any pop instead. I said "no I dont drink it"

    She then said, "you look like you are a girl who likes to drink pop and not care about their weight" and then I said "no I do care, I recently lost 27lbs". Then she said "oh I cant really tell the difference, guess I havent seen you at your fattest weight"

    That was so heartbreaking to hear :( It felt so discouraging and it also seemed like the rudest thing to say! :'(
    Gotta hand it to Asians for their brashness. I have relatives who are the same way. Someone in my family line is always overweight more at each gathering and so the talk goes on about how fat they are. Of course, I intrude, but it's just something about the "old" culture that just stands out. Kinda embarassing.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
    If you dont like her you could complain to her boss. You are not allowed to talk to costumers like that.
  • Autumn15
    Autumn15 Posts: 213
    I'm so sorry someone was so rude to you...Maybe they weren't taught by their mother is you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Shame on her...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    Pretty sure it's a cultural thing... sometimes the intended message just gets mixed; from the tone you described it doesn't sound like she was trying to actually comment on your weight, she was just making a observation.

    Not an excuse, but I don't think she was TRYING to be rude :P
    This. I know it's a cultural thing. In the Asian culture, heavy people aren't the norm. So when they see it, they may say things that American culture would take as rude, but just regular chatter amongst Asians. I've had people tell me why Asians are always so "angry" when they talk to each other. I ask why they say that and the response is "they always yell at each other!", but guess what? That's just how some of us communicate.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    If you dont like her you could complain to her boss. You are not allowed to talk to costumers like that.
    Lol, she probably was the boss.
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
    She works at the food court.


    UUHHH.... YUP!!!
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    All I can think is that an adult woman with (presumably adult) children who works at a chinese restaurant in a food court has not palce judging anyone.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    She works at the food court.


    UUHHH.... YUP!!!


    Great minds...
  • stariera
    stariera Posts: 224
    Hugs hun... that was extremely rude of her to make such a comment. I'm never sure what the motivation is for someone to say something like that.
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,338 Member
    She was rude, thoughtless, and definitely unhelpful. However I am totally convinced that except for my sweet husband I will not be getting any compliments on losing until I get another 25-30 pounds lighter. I moved back here at about this weight and have slowly gained and slowly lost since then. From now on I will be lighter than I was when I moved back here. However it seems that at my size you need to lose more than 15 pounds for anyone to see it. If they are with you daily or weekly they may not even notice that. My family knows that I have lost alot and are encouraging but none has said they see it despite the fact that I am wearing clothes that are smaller than the ones I wore when I moved back. If someone has never met me they are still going to see me as very overweight. I am trimmer and fitter than I was when I weighed less but others are not going to see this. So I think it is really mean of this women to say such stupid ignorant and mean things. We have to do this for ourselves. Not for others. We know what we have accomplished. At least my sister-in-law has acknowledged that. She has said it is near impossible to lose the kind of weight you and I have not to mention others who have done even better on this site.

    Congratulations on your loss. Please know you have done something very difficult that takes great commitment and perserverance. It you can do that you will not let a stupid person derail you. The opinion of a person like that is not worth much.
  • Shawn_Marie
    Shawn_Marie Posts: 307 Member
    <jaw on floor> WOW - how over the top RUDE! Don't let people like that bring you down! You have a group of people here to encourage you ...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    This is stupid now. While I can believe the woman at food court can be viewed as judgmental, there are some here judging her for working at a Food Court. Like that's a bad thing and that they are above working in a Food court. For all you know she could have been the owner. Kinda ironic that you think she's a b*tch for her response, but to demean her for working in a Food Court puts you in the same category. Okay rant done.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    I would have responded with either, "Wow! What crawled up your *kitten* and died?" or the more tactful, "Who pissed in your cheerios?"

    :laugh:
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    What a d*bag.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    You should have said, "Since you are obviously blind, you won't be needing these." And grabbed a pair of chop sticks and impaled her eyeballs. Seriously, how can you let this get you down, this woman is obviously either mentally or emotionally handicapped.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    RUDE! Some people have NO filter!
    Sorry :( 27lb is a great accomplishment!
  • ChristalJo
    ChristalJo Posts: 29
    You are doing AWESOME! Ignore her, and don't let her get to you. Believe me, I know that it's easier said than done. But try, and remember that you have lots of friends here who support you and proud of you!

    P.S. If you'd like, I am GREAT at telling people like that off! Did it today in fact. (I work at Wendy's)
  • ChristalJo
    ChristalJo Posts: 29
    You should have said, "Since you are obviously blind, you won't be needing these." And grabbed a pair of chop sticks and impaled her eyeballs. Seriously, how can you let this get you down, this woman is obviously either mentally or emotionally handicapped.

    I do love this one!
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    Someone seriously said that to you??? Some people are unbelievable. Seriously...that is unacceptable. :-(
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