Just Lost All Feelings of Accomplishment

terood711

This may or may not help. I have been back and forth with my weight and at my heaviest I felt the same way I look like @#$%.
The thing is that when I did lose a lot of weight I looked good because other people told me that I did but I still thought I looked like @#$%. Sometimes it is hard to feel good about how i look but then I think of all the hard work and energy and most importantly how I feel. That keeps me going along with help from others. So that being said keep up the good work and stay strong. You will love the feeling once you hit your goal.

myak623

The same thing happened to me several months ago. I thought I was doing great and when I saw some pictures, I was disappointed. I thought the same as you, if I look like this now, what did I look like before? Anyway, I didn't give up. I've since lost another 13 lbs and am still going. You can definitely tell in your before and after pics that you are losing. Just don't give up. You will eventually start seeing yourself the way you want.

marquesajen

My dear, first of all it is okay to break down and let it all out. Get it out of your system and use this new-found feeling to fuel your fire. It's very hard to come so far, look back and feel like you can still see where you began not even a block away. I saw photos from a family party and just wanted to change my name and hide under a table. It happens. Anybody that thinks less of you is a dink. You've worked too hard to be judged that way.

You have lost 50 pounds. 50 POUNDS! That's a stack of like 8 or 9 BIG textbooks. That's a young child. That is two 25 pound bags of Idaho potatoes. THAT is an accomplishment.

KnottyNCrotchety

You post made me tear up too. I have so been there! But here is the thing...you did GREAT! And your co-workers are really proud of and excited for you.That kind of support is terrific and so try to enjoy it. No one is thinking about how you look, they are all thinking about what you DID!

Concentrate on that and find that sense of accomplishment again because you deserve it. Go have a strong talk with yourself in the mirror in the ladies room. Remember that you are still a work in progress, but headed in the right direction. Your body got you through that event, it was strong and capable and that is what really counts.

JenGilronan

The picture at the end of your post shows some big differences! I think you look great! Hang in there! Keep up the hard work!!

CARNAT22

I don't want to trot out any cliches about the camera adding pounds etc.. but I will give you this fact - unless a picture is massively photoshopped most *normal* people (IE us on MFP!) will not like what we see !!

We are our own worst critics!

I lost over 40 lbs some years ago and hated pictures of myself at my heaviest weight AND my lowest weight!

Please do not be so hard on yourself and please do not let this set you back. 50lbs is an amazing achievement!

xxx

tbelivea

First off, I don't see a "monster" in either of those pics. I see a girl who inspires me to work harder. Just stop for a minute... you've lost 50lbs! 50LBS!!! That's incredible!!! Take a deep breath... good, now one more. You got this. You totally got this. Step away from the pics and take a minute and write down all the things in your life that have improved so far (weight loss, lost inches, improved health, to name a few) and BE PROUD of what you've accomplished! Remember: you're not done yet ;D

CountryDevil

You should be concentrating on what you have accomplished. 50 lbs is a big accomplishment!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. Feel great about what you have done, the lifestyle changes and sacrifices you have made to get where you are now. Look at the pictures as a tool for encouragement and pick your self up, dust off and march forward to continue on your journey.

As a photographer, I can tell you that no matter the situation, pictures do add weight to a person under certain situations. So don't let the ones you looked at be a gauge of where you are at.

You look great in your profile pics and those tell me a different story than then one you describe here.

hanna1210

It's always hard to see ourselves as having any change whatsoever. But, looking at your before and after, there is definitely a change! You look gorgeous!! Keep up the great work!

Sarw27

Oh my, that is heartbreaking. If you're anything like me then I'm going to say your PMS is a leading cause in you being so emotional over this. I totally get that.

It must be tough to see how far you've come yet still feel so far away from your goal. I imagine I'll have days like this when I get to your point too. I guess the important thing is letting yourself be emotional today but picking yourself back up tomorrow.

Good luck.

Becca_007

maybe you should not be judgng your pics if you are pre menst just saying

Gotta agree with this! I did the same thing as you, looked at myself in the mirror and thought, OK THEN, looking so much better I think I'm OK now.

Yea......NO! Then I realized it was the PMS pulling my thoughts in the negative direction and it's so easy to forget how distorted our thinking can get when the hormones go crazy on us. You look fabulous Darling!! Take another look in a week or so and compare those photos to your before photos and I think you'll see a huge change.

The photos at the bottom of your post show you HAVE come so far Hon!! I feel for you, the same distorted thinking is happening to me right now and it is NOT FUN, in fact I've allowed it to take over my thinking and really get me down. The only way for us to continue succeeding is to somehow work through the thoughts even if we don't understand them all and put one foot in front of the other.

Keep doing what you've been doing, it's working for you:flowerforyou:

Midori_i

I had my dad tell me one day that my but really looks nice in those jeans. But before I could be all pleased about it - I had just managed to finally loose all the extra weight that put a damper on my teenager years - he added: but then, it used to be pretty huge!
And that after years and years of him telling me not to be so upset about my looks, I was not too fat in the slightest and I was his beautiful princess.... Thanks Dad, now I know what you've really been thinking all these years, and worse, what probably everyone else has been thinking!

Point is: even after you've already made a lot of progress, you're vulnerable, and there are going to be moments where you feel like you've accomplished nothing at all, in spite of all your efforts, and where you just wanna break down and cry. Well, cry! But then, take a good hard look at what you've already accomplished. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and then keep pushing.

Don't freak out about that lunch, Go, let people pat you on the back for a well-done task, and eat a salad. You haven't lost the 50 pounds in a day, and your success isn't gonna be made invalid just because of a few bad pictures.

worldhurdler

I'm so sorry your day is crummy! But good job on venting - it can help so much

First of all, some facts: I have never met you in my life, but just looking at your photos in your signature tag, I can TOTALLY tell the difference in your face of those lost 50lbs. I can only imagine how much it affected the rest of your frame as well! Another fact: I think you look lovely - you have an awesome smile, great skin, and your hair is gorgeous.

Moving on to opinions: I know how you feel and what a frustrating experience it can be to reach a weightloss milestone, look in the mirror/at a picture, and mentally go "Really? That's all it did? Aren't I supposed to look like a Victoria's Secret model by now, after all that work?" It sort of sucks how our paradigm shifts as our bodies change - what would have delighted us 20lbs ago now is barely acceptable. Blah.

I don't have a magic cure for it, unfortunately. I can just offer you empathy, and encourage you to keep going. Keep making the same good decisions you have been making, and surround yourself with TRUTH as best you can. You do NOT look like a monster, you are improving your body everyday, and you are creating a better life for yourself. It's never ever as fast as we want it to be, and often the results don't look as good as we hoped after we obtain them, but that doesn't mean we haven't made an amazing difference in ourselves.

Keep on changing!

atessieri

You look great!!! and there is a major difference dont let those pics get you down just keep it up because going backwards wont help either, losing 50 pounds is such an inspiration, your doing great

lfay13

Ok number one you have your period, I'll bet next week you will feel alot better. Number two you need to remember you are getting complimented on a good job at work, not on what you look like in a picure. Use this as an opportunity to fuel your goals all the more! Remember when you were a little girl and you wanted something you just did it! Quit letting things stand in your way, you are in control of your emotions they do not control you!!

mscoco10

Just beat yourself up; We all are trying. 50lbs is a great accomplishment. I can tell a major difference in your before and after pictures. Don't focus on this photo. Look at a photo from 50 lbs ago. Let this inspire you to continue to reach your goals.

Sometimes i believe when you've struggles with weight all your life it doesn't matter how much you change you'll always see the fat girl. Change your state of mind and love you for the person you are inside.

Have a great lunch. You worked hard.

tifanietiberio

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate everyone's kind words. It doesn't help that the rest of my dept are beautiful women with adorable little bodies. So I legitimately look ridiculous standing in this group photo with them. And now like 6 emails have gone back and forth that are like "OMG we look so cute!" " I love the pictures" and I am still sitting here silently weeping and praying that our computer server will explode or something and they will be lost forever. And now I get to go sit at a restaurant and pretend to not be completely miserable. And obviously, the way I am feeling right now is prime conditions for me to end up face down in a plate full of pasta with a side of mcdonalds.

sylouette98

I've been where you are...do not beat yourself up! You look amazing!!!!!! a 50 pound weight loss is HUGE!!!! When I hit the 50 pound mark I felt the exact same way...but it passes. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. You look incredible!!!!!!!!!!

deniseg31

Hey remember that we are our own WORST critic. You have done so well and I applaud you for your dedication on losing those 50 lbs. That is a great accomplishment. Chin up girl...your before and after (during) look great. Keep up all the good work. (((HUGS)))

deenaspell

I completely understand!!!! Nothing will lower the spirit more than a candid photo. NOTHING. Here you are thinking you look great, finally lost some weight, and an idiot snaps a photo without telling you. You're left in an awkward position and angle for all to see!! UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I am so sorry! Just know so many of us have felt the same way and had the same thing happen. You should be proud of what you've done! 50 lbs is not easy to lose and you've done that! Do not give up on yourself!

I am literally posting this bc I am at work and about to burst into tears and I feel like if I don't vent, I will lose it. To begin with, I am exhausted from my event yesterday and I am pre-menstrual, so I am sure that doesn't help me.

But there were a lot of pics taken at my event that I managed yesterday and my co-worker just posted a bunch on our intranet and was like "Woohoo, look at all the pictures" and I guess I thought since I have lost 50lbs that I may actually resemble a normal human, but I do not. It was literally heartbreaking and now I am miserable. I look like a linebacker for goodness sake. And I was wearing a black suit so I cannot imagine how bad I look otherwise.

I guess I didn't want to acknowledge how bad it must have been before I started really trying to lose weight, but I thought after all of this hard work I would look ok in a picture, but I don't at all. So I feel like people must be thinking, she lost 50lbs and she still looks like a monster.

And now I am just a mess, I am sitting here at my desk crying and of course, I am being taken out for a "job well done" lunch and I have no desire to eat a single solitary thing.

I am sorry for whining and crying about this, but that just absolutely zapped all of my motivation and I feel like I am going to have an emotional meltdown.

rubyrenga

Aw, please don't think badly of yourself! I know it's hard when you get into that kind of mindset, but remember that you are PMS-ing, and just try to keep things in perspective. I always feel ugly and fat when I'm PMS-ing, so I try to be gentle with myself at that time. You are overwhelmed right now, so why don't you try to go and enjoy that lunch? Refuel your depleted body with some good, healthy food and try to regroup. Hugs!

charmainecurrie

hoping that you are feeling better
what you have accomplished is just amazing
perhaps one day you will see what other people see

CasperO

Every woman is blind when she steps in front of a mirror.

You know the biggest diff between men & women? A guy can be 5'8 tall and 270 pounds and 35% bodyfat with a 40" waist - and he'll get in front of a mirror and suck in his gut and pull up his pants and say "Oh yeah - looking good!" when he's obviously not. I know, I did it, those were my numbers.

OTOH Kate Moss is probably standing in front of a mirror right now, with her waist ballooned up to 23 inches, scowling and thinking "FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!!".

You look fine, you rock, you're making massive improvement in your appearance and you health. Keep it up,

FollowThatUnicorn

Awww This was me last week. I was PMSing and bloated and I broke down and cried as I was walking to my car. It's so tough when you think you are doing good and something happens to change your perspective. It's so hard but I know I have to keep going. I've already started, just like you, so we are on our way. We can't stop now becuase we are that much closer to our goal.

You are a beautiful woman, and REAL women come in all shapes and sizes. I work with one girl who is tall and (too) thin and everybody fawns over her. It used to really upset me but now, it pi$$es me off and motivates me. But sometimes it's hard looking at a picture of myself standing next to her. But you know what, when I reach my goal, that's going to be me. Just like you. Just look at how far you've come. So many people don't even start.

jmruef

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate everyone's kind words. It doesn't help that the rest of my dept are beautiful women with adorable little bodies. So I legitimately look ridiculous standing in this group photo with them. And now like 6 emails have gone back and forth that are like "OMG we look so cute!" " I love the pictures" and I am still sitting here silently weeping and praying that our computer server will explode or something and they will be lost forever. And now I get to go sit at a restaurant and pretend to not be completely miserable. And obviously, the way I am feeling right now is prime conditions for me to end up face down in a plate full of pasta with a side of mcdonalds.

"legitimately look ridiculous" - what? Nope.

Who cares what the other women look like? Are you losing weight to fit in with them? Maybe at some point in their lives they've struggled with weight issues, too. It's possible. Maybe something's going on with each and every one of them that makes them doubt themselves every single day, but they've got a brave face to the world. You never know.

All this to say...you legitimately look damn good, 50 pounds down. It's an accomplishment to brag about and be proud of. You're having a bad day, which sucks, but bad days happen. What tools do you have to get through them?

1. The knowledge that YOU KNOW HOW TO LOSE 50 POUNDS! Holy cr*p! That's amazing!
2. The ability to be good at your job and get recognition for it.
3. The ability to make good choices when people recognize your accomplishments with lunch. (See #1)
4. The knowledge that says "This is my TOM and that SUCKS, but IT WILL PASS, like it does every month. I'll get through it."

I'm sure you can come up with others, but this is a start.

rml_16

OMG, I HATE photos of myself. HATE.THEM. Usually, a few months after I first see them, if I look again, I realize they aren't as bad as I initially thought.

I've also learned that usually a photograph is not an accurate representation of what you really look like.

I run 5Ks and there are two guys here who take photos at all the races and post them online. It's fun to go look at yourself either just starting out or crossing the finish line, but my thighs always look like they're about triple the size they really are. I would find this depressing, except that I look at the photos of my friends and their thighs always look really big, too. And I know their thighs don't actually look like that IRL, so it puts it in perspective.

Don't let this get you down. I can almost guarantee, without seeing the photos, that they aren't as bad as you think.

risefromruin

You look great, don't let those pictures get you down or sway you from your goal in any way. Let them give you the fuel to try harder and keep going!! It's really hard when you're significantly overweight to see the results in the mirror and in pictures for awhile. It took me until about 60 lbs lost to really see anything, and even then it wasn't a lot. For now, focus on the fact that you have lost 50 lbs which is AMAZING. A lot of people can't even do that. Feel proud of yourself and the changes that you made. You'll get to a point where you see it soon, trust me

tladame

I have had that response, too! It's sooo frustrating. But honestly, put up a picture of yourself at full weight and then take a picture today at your weight. Measure your body and give yourself an honest appraisal. You HAVE lost all over the place and do look better, but it's comparing yourself to before. You HAVE changed, but your eyes has been tricked by seeing yourself in the mirror every day. Seriously. Take the photos, put them side by side, and LOOK! I can see it, but you have to pretend that you are a stranger to yourself to see it!

^^
This! I have days where I look in the mirror & still see me 20 lbs heavier. On other days, I see the smaller me. It's so weird. That's why I love having "before" pictures to look at & see how far I've come.

Chin up girl, you look great!

veganbaum

I didn't read all the posts, so I'm probably repeating here, but I must echo one that said right now, with your exhaustion and emotion, it might not be the best time to make a judgment on your pictures. 50 lbs is amazing! That takes hard work and committment. That tells you that you can and will lose the next 40/50 pounds you have as your goal. That picture doesn't matter. The choices you are making every day to become healthier are what matter. Take heart, take strength from your sccomplishments thus far, and look ahead.

shnazzy

well i just looked at your pics and i see a big difference you look great , i always hate pics of myself ,you have done increibley well losing 50lbs dwell on that wow one thing for sure you would have hated even more if the pics were taken before you lost the weight , keep up the good work :bigsmile: