It's NOT a compliment when someone says...

B_L_A_Z_I_A_N

Has anyone heard the "cute outfit kid".... When you at a party and someone goes to so and so's child and goes "oh!....what a cute outfit they have on" rather than "what a cute kid"

sorry. but you do not want a "cute outfit kid"

What's wrong with complimenting a kid's outfit? If I had a kid, they'd always be dressed in supercute outfits, and I love compliments on outfits I put together. Doesn't mean that your kid is ugly, #toosensitive

i think they meant that they were referring to the person (ie. you) as a kid instead of an adult or w/e

NeonNikki

Has anyone heard the "cute outfit kid".... When you at a party and someone goes to so and so's child and goes "oh!....what a cute outfit they have on" rather than "what a cute kid"

sorry. but you do not want a "cute outfit kid"

What's wrong with complimenting a kid's outfit? If I had a kid, they'd always be dressed in supercute outfits, and I love compliments on outfits I put together. Doesn't mean that your kid is ugly, #toosensitive

i think they meant that they were referring to the person (ie. you) as a kid instead of an adult or w/e

I would always see it as a compliment. I just had one of my mom's friends tell me that a "cute outfit baby" is different than a cute baby. So now I always make sure to compliment the cute baby's outfit AND the cute baby. But honest to god i have never EVER seen an ugly baby. Ever.

dreaasha

Has anyone heard the "cute outfit kid".... When you at a party and someone goes to so and so's child and goes "oh!....what a cute outfit they have on" rather than "what a cute kid"

sorry. but you do not want a "cute outfit kid"

What's wrong with complimenting a kid's outfit? If I had a kid, they'd always be dressed in supercute outfits, and I love compliments on outfits I put together. Doesn't mean that your kid is ugly, #toosensitive

i think they meant that they were referring to the person (ie. you) as a kid instead of an adult or w/e

I would always see it as a compliment. I just had one of my mom's friends tell me that a "cute outfit baby" is different than a cute baby. So now I always make sure to compliment the cute baby's outfit AND the cute baby. But honest to god i have never EVER seen an ugly baby. Ever.

I think it's ridiculous to even insinuate that a child is ugly. Who would do that? Nobody. So I will continue to compliment a kid's outfit, and everyone I know loves to hear that. I have seriously never heard that you shouldn't do that. Woah, man.

B_L_A_Z_I_A_N

Has anyone heard the "cute outfit kid".... When you at a party and someone goes to so and so's child and goes "oh!....what a cute outfit they have on" rather than "what a cute kid"

sorry. but you do not want a "cute outfit kid"

What's wrong with complimenting a kid's outfit? If I had a kid, they'd always be dressed in supercute outfits, and I love compliments on outfits I put together. Doesn't mean that your kid is ugly, #toosensitive

i think they meant that they were referring to the person (ie. you) as a kid instead of an adult or w/e

I would always see it as a compliment. I just had one of my mom's friends tell me that a "cute outfit baby" is different than a cute baby. So now I always make sure to compliment the cute baby's outfit AND the cute baby. But honest to god i have never EVER seen an ugly baby. Ever.

I think it's ridiculous to even insinuate that a child is ugly. Who would do that? Nobody. So I will continue to compliment a kid's outfit, and everyone I know loves to hear that. I have seriously never heard that you shouldn't do that. Woah, man.

lol no i think y'all still aren't getting it... maybe it's because of the lack of punctuation
"cute outfit, kid"
its not about the cuteness or the outfit --->> its about the word "kid"

KittyMul

My ex-boyfriend once told me that he could really tell I'd lost weight on my face because he see my eyes better now. Haha! Not like when I had those tiny pig eyes before, eh? But I did take it as a compliment, he didn't mean anything nasty by it - I just had to laugh!

PinkAndSparkle

"You're not THAT big"...that's my favorite.

UnderCoverShyGirl

LOL, i guess you are the devils advocate on this thread, and I totally get what everyone else is saying (and tend to think the same way) but i have to say i think you are right, a lot of it is how we take it, or if it happens to push a button in some manner.

Though to be perfectly honest, most of the time, when i tell my coworker she looks good today, i do mean TODAY, as in she often doesn't. I'm not trying to send the "you don't normally look good" message at all when i give the compliment, but if we are being really honest here, i do think the compliments are what they sound like. I.e., the big girl with the pretty face, is being compared to other big girls, not just other pretty faces. Now when she is average sized/thinner, she may still be pretty etc...but at the moment, that is the comparison being made....just my two cents...again lol

gympamela

It's not a compliment when someone says, "You look like a total dumpster fire!"

LOL Just trying to lighten things up- I would rather get any compliment at this point than nothing at all!! It has been a long time since I have gotten any compiment whatsoever.

jjs22

I'll share one.

When I first met my current doctor, he came in the room, introduced himself, and when he glanced at my chart he immediately looked back up at me with surprise and said : "You really carry your weight well."

Was I offended ? No. He had no professional or social obligation to compliment me in any way. And yet he was telling me that (for someone of my weight) I looked good. I know I'm heavy. I know other people know I'm heavy. And I know that for almost all people in our culture, heavy is not attractive. But for him to say I carry it well is adding on something positive, and that's the way I took it. TBH, I've chuckled about it for years : "I have a condition, diagnosed by a real doctor, which causes my weight to be not nearly as unattractive as it could be."

But I'm a guy. Anything another guy says about my appearance isn't going to punch any buttons.

I think there is probably a huge difference for women. Women compete with one another, rank one another, build their self-worth based on looks. I know from direct field observations and from reliable stand-up comedy bits that when a woman says something about another woman's looks, there's 874 different things it *could* mean, and its almost certainly not reflected in the words themselves. But please keep in mind that men don't work that way. They don't get that kind of subtlety. Amongst themselves, they really only care about money, power, and who has ..., well ..., lets just say its not so much about appearance. If there's ever any doubt, there's no need to resort to complex verbal maneuvers, you just have a fight. Problem solved.


So for the ladies here, I would ask that if a guy ever says something like "You look good for your age" or "You look good for a mom", or "You look nice today", please, PLEASE, at least try to take it as a compliment. Remember that the words coming out of his mouth are pretty much exactly what is in his head, nothing more. Don't turn the sentiment "Hey I think you look good" into something to feel bad about.

OTOH, if its a woman who says it, don't ask me what it means. I don't have a clue.

ascoope

I've gotten some insults disguised as compliments... mostly from other young girls at work. I make an active effort to be nice to everyone so I'm not sure where the animosity comes from.
"You always wear such weird pants."
"You look like MInnie Mouse in that skirt."
"Your lower half is so much bigger than your upper body.

Cushworth

Compliments are a tricky, years ago if someone paid me a compliment i would alway respond in a negative way ie "your hair looks nice" reply "no it needs cutting or washing or combing".
Now i just say thank you. Its taken me 20 years to accept a compliment as just that, a compliment. It works in two ways, if it was genuine nice comment, you have thanked the person and if it was meant as a backhanded remark to upset or annoy me, it didnt work
And to be honest if anyone said i look good for my age, i would take that as a compliment, i mean i'm a 46 year old grandmother of 4, i'm not 20 anymore :happy: :happy:

meerkat70

My personal favorite, from the guy doing my gym assessment:

"you're much fitter than you look"

TourThePast

Women compete with one another, rank one another, build their self-worth based on looks.

Not all of us, I've no interest in the opinion that other women (or men!) have about my appearance, people should be judged for their thoughts and actions not their clothes and hair and makeup and bodies. I'm considered attractive, but that's pure luck, it's down to my genes, not to any artificial efforts on my part.

I'm here to become stronger and fitter and improve my health; a huge side benefit of losing weight is being able to fit into existing clothes so I don't have to go through the tedium of clothes shopping to buy replacement stuff in larger sizes.

As this thread shows so clearly, the whole "relying on others for self esteem" thing is just a psychological disaster waiting to happen.

TheBigYin

Hmm... so I guess that "You don't sweat much for a fat lass" wasn't the most tactful thing I could have said then....











(JOKE - In case you missed it!)