what do you think if your spouse/so said to you:

SueGremlin

What would I think? My marriage would be over. In an instant.

It happens often where one partner will accuse the other of cheating when in fact, they are the cheater. Without trust, you have nothing. In your shoes, I'd get tested for STDs and get a lawyer.

ahavoc

At this point it is no longer about him or you or vows or your marriage, it is only about your child. Words hurt as bad a fists. If it was me, I'd get my child away first and foremost, and never, ever, no matter how many promises (which will all be broken), or how much threatening, (have a recorder hidden and running), allow that man into my child's life again and nothing would stop me.

jenny95662

Sincerely, I beg you not to take advice here on your marriage. This is a MARRIAGE. This isn't a fight over who at the last Sargento Reduced Fat Individually Wrapped String Cheese with my initials clearly Sharpied on the package.

This is years of love, struggle, arguments, loss, laughter, caring, possibly children...

Try to find a way to have a calm conversation about the two of you and your future together. Better yet some counseling with a moderator to help you communicate.

I am rarely serious... But asking strangers who are all tainted by their own experiences about something so very personal can not end well. And marriage, as well as the decision to stay in it or end it, should be taken seriously.

i agree you need to do this on your own we cant tell you what to do we were not there no nothing about any of it so its hard to give advice i say go talk with him and try to both do it calmly. its easy to get mad (i know ) but try!

deeharley

Sincerely, I beg you not to take advice here on your marriage. This is a MARRIAGE. This isn't a fight over who at the last Sargento Reduced Fat Individually Wrapped String Cheese with my initials clearly Sharpied on the package.

This is years of love, struggle, arguments, loss, laughter, caring, possibly children...

Try to find a way to have a calm conversation about the two of you and your future together. Better yet some counseling with a moderator to help you communicate.

I am rarely serious... But asking strangers who are all tainted by their own experiences about something so very personal can not end well. And marriage, as well as the decision to stay in it or end it, should be taken seriously.

^^^ This.

crisanderson27

The truth: He won't change ************BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE TO************* You won't do anything if he doesn't, and he's comfortable not giving a *kitten* about your feelings of well-being.

Honestly, your friends and the counselor are right.... you need to go. Work on your marriage from a distance.

Another true gem of a post...assuming all you've said is true, and just from the way you wrote it...I fully believe you.

It seems to me your decision is already made. So now would be the perfect time to act upon it, especially before your son gets any older.

No excuses. Not the cataracts. Not the need to know whether or not their were affairs (doesn't really seem to matter). Not fear of being alone... Lawyers... Money.... No excuses.

You need to be decisive, strong, and firm in your decision & expectations for the sake of that little for year old if not for yourself.

I wish you, and that little boy, nothing but the best.

I agree. I have custody of my children...for this specific reason. Their mother has severe emotional issues that...well...they are devastating to the people around her. It's NOT her fault...but she refuses to do anything about them, and so...my choice was protect my children, or protect her feelings.

As a parent, the ONLY choice, is the former.

danimoon67

OH Kelly, I was so hoping things were going better for you. I think it's time to move on. You are so strong and your DH is holding you back. I haven't a single doubt in my mind that you and DS will be so much better off without DH and his family. You've given him enough chances. I also agree at this point it really doesn't matter if he cheated or not, he's not worthy of you and your son. Send him back to his mom and dad and let them deal with it.

Million hugs to you and DS.