Being honest with yourself.................

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  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

    AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!
    You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.
    Oh, I do. Daily.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    ... helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:
    And those of us who aren't...

    1. No, I DID NOT SETTLE.... I did not get married. I had opportunities, but to be honest there are times when I wish I HAD settled.

    I would have had kids. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be a Mom, that ship has sailed without me. I didn't want to married the wrong man just so I could be a Mom. That's not really good for kids.

    Maybe, I threw away chances with kind companionable men because I was looking for big over the moon, soulmate kind of love.

    2. Yes, Society really is geared toward married couples. While marriage is hard work, there is lots that's hard about being single too. I know the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... There are pluses and minuses to everything.

    I always imagine life could be much less work if there was someone to cooperate with on the minutiae of life. I cook dinner, you clean-up. I get the car serviced, you mow the lawn. I clean the bathroom, you vacuum the livingroom. It seems there would be more time for fun. Actually, it seems like just having someone to do those day-to-day things with would make life more fun.

    Now, I know every married person out there is screaming at the top of their lungs about all the added responsibilities of marriage and kids and how cushy I have it.

    3. Truly, there are times I am grateful that I am single.
    • My husband never embarasses me in public.
    ---never uses the last of the TP
    ---never leaves his dirty socks on the floor (that's my job)
    ---never picks fights
    ---never leave the gas tank on empty
    • I never have problems with my In-laws
    • We never argue about what's for dinner or what to watch on TV or how ratty my big terry robe looks.
    • I can buy whatever I want or save enough to feel safe.
    • I'm not built for conflict and that's inevitable as part of a couple.

    I see power struggles my friends and family go through with their spouses. To me it seems if you're not on the same team what's the sense?
    I liked it. I get to see another perspective of life.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I was married once before and knew I was settling, and that ended up in divorce. I'm engaged now and I know I'm not settling this time. My boyfriend is amazing. I do feel like we can achieve anything we set our minds to because of the respect and love we have.

    All that being said, sometimes I do wish I could be single again. Not because I don't love my partner or loving being his future wife, but because I was very good at being single and that time in my life was really important to who I am now.
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
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    The first time I married, it was because I was marrying the father of my baby, with whom I got pregnant when I was 15.

    That was a disaster that lasted 19 years (plus 2 years before we married).

    After my divorce, I dated a few guys. They all had various, well, shortcomings.
    Through it all, my best friend kept telling me, "Don't settle - you deserve better"
    My dating filter kept improving, and the guys had less shortcomings, yet my best friend kept telling me "don't settle"...

    Twelve years ago, I married my best friend. He was right - any other guy would have been settling!

    He is still my very best friend, and my best cheerleader, support, in every area of my life, from my career, to my college work, to my eating and workout!

    I haven't wished I was single since I found myself in his arms!
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    I definitely settled for my ex. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until it was too late. The man I am with now is extremely supportive and pushes me to be my very best. Without him, I wouldn't be what I am today. I wouldn't be a cyclist, or a backpacker, or a fantasy football champion. I hope that I am as big of a cheerleader for him as he is to me.

    The only thing I miss about being single is a having super clean house.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

    AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!
    You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.

    not really what I was getting at. I don't take these threads too serious.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    I definitely settled for my ex. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until it was too late. The man I am with now is extremely supportive and pushes me to be my very best. Without him, I wouldn't be what I am today. I wouldn't be a cyclist, or a backpacker, or a fantasy football champion. I hope that I am as big of a cheerleader for him as he is to me.

    The only thing I miss about being single is a having super clean house.
    Talking fantasy I had my draft yesterday. Here's my team on a 14 team league

    Rodgers(QB)
    MJD(RB)
    D.Thomas(RB)
    VJAX(WR)
    Austin(WR)
    Gonzalez(TE)
    Stevie Johnson (RB/WR/TE)
    Crosby(K)
    SF (DEF)

    Feel pretty good and my bench is just fair.

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