Unsupportive *friends?*

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  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    I think what adross meant is that - She may feel subconsciously threatened by your new attitude toward health/nutrition/fitness and is picking up on signals you may be unintentionally be sending out without meaning to (ie, she may think that you commenting on your own choices is an attack on her choices, if you know what I mean?).

    I guess it's up to you to decide what you came here to ask - how to get her to understand that the above is not your intention at all and get back on good terms with her?

    Or was this post just a self assuring way to garner support for a decision you had already made to give her the flick, and as someone else said, to get creative ideas on how to do so?

    no i DO NOT want to give her the flick! how much of a small minded person do you people think i am!
    how to get her to understand that the above is not your intention at all and get back on good terms with her?
    is what i wanted help with...

    p.s. i never made ANY remarks about her diet/fitness/exercise at all...
    and i only talked to her about it after she realised i had shrunk.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
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    I would put the ball in her court. Tell her that you want to remain friends (if you still do), that you are now on the road to a healthy lifestyle and that's not going to change, that you would hope that would not be a reason to throw years of friendship down the pan and that your door is always open.

    If she wants to throw your friendship away then that's her loss, but at least you know that it's been through no fault or your own.
    Bravo.....Finally rational thought.
  • adross3
    adross3 Posts: 606 Member
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    wow .. adross is a pretty incredibly smart man :) Was ready to jump on board with " dont need friends like that"til I read what he had to say on the subject. ... and I'm now seeing that you kinda feel attacked by what he said, even tho I'm sure thats not his intentions either. He is just trying to get you to see the other side of it. There does have to be some sort of reason she feels threatend, this doesnt mean its your fault tho or intentional ... just understand for ppl who are struggling to loose weight and being around others who are so adiment .. it can make you feel very insecure as a person :) x much love and best wishes to you .
    Thank you for the compliment and clarification of thought.
  • DahnaLane
    DahnaLane Posts: 97 Member
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    Even after the above advice... be ready to cut her loose.

    Knowing when to end a friendship is one of the harder lessons. And sometimes you are happier not having someone in your life.

    I figured it out a few years back, and I "dumped" my own mother for her destructive and emotionally abusive personality.

    Hope you find GOOD friends. :happy:
    Cheers,
    Dahna

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