Funny, quirky sayings or quotes.

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PantalaNagaPampa
PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
in Chit-Chat
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk. If you give a teenage boy a marker, he will draw a penis.
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  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Really? No takers... fine I will post it all myself.. I can have my very own thread.... LOL...

    69% of people can find something dirty in every sentence
  • SarahWrittenThin
    SarahWrittenThin Posts: 595 Member
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    Giggles
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    May the fourth be with you....ah if only it could be every day! lmao!!! :bigsmile:
  • CourteneyLove
    CourteneyLove Posts: 246 Member
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    would you like some cheese with that whine?
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    The 5 second rule does not apply to dropping babies
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
    when life gives you melons, you probably have dislexia...
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    Do your best to not get punched today.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
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    Here's a few:

    I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

    Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

    Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    Missed one!

    I am in my own little world but it's okay they know me here.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    be snarky, it entertains people
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

    If it's cold enough to wear Uggs, it's not hot enough to wear booty shorts.

    Pandas are Black, White AND Asian.

    A five ounce migratory swallow cannot carry a one pound coconut.

    Every sound you hear at night is a serial killer.

    "I have diarrhea" is the only good answer to the question, "Are you ticklish?"
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do!
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    Don't let this day end without punching something.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Forgiveness is giving up the right to punish.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Don't let this day end without punching something.
    does a donkey-punch count?
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    If a bro wants to hit the bench press before the upright rows, do it! It's always Bro's before rows!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I've used "Kicking names and taking *kitten*" before, but here on MFP, it takes on new meaning as words of encouragement.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their car. For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    does a donkey-punch count?
    In biz school, my buddies and I would try to sneak terms like "donky punch" into our presentations in front of the class. It can be done, but carefully... I probably bruised ribs struggling to suppress laughter.

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