Funny, quirky sayings or quotes.

PantalaNagaPampa
PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk. If you give a teenage boy a marker, he will draw a penis.
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Replies

  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Really? No takers... fine I will post it all myself.. I can have my very own thread.... LOL...

    69% of people can find something dirty in every sentence
  • SarahWrittenThin
    SarahWrittenThin Posts: 595 Member
    Giggles
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
    May the fourth be with you....ah if only it could be every day! lmao!!! :bigsmile:
  • CourteneyLove
    CourteneyLove Posts: 246 Member
    would you like some cheese with that whine?
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    The 5 second rule does not apply to dropping babies
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
    when life gives you melons, you probably have dislexia...
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    Do your best to not get punched today.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    Here's a few:

    I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

    Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

    Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    Missed one!

    I am in my own little world but it's okay they know me here.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    be snarky, it entertains people
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

    If it's cold enough to wear Uggs, it's not hot enough to wear booty shorts.

    Pandas are Black, White AND Asian.

    A five ounce migratory swallow cannot carry a one pound coconut.

    Every sound you hear at night is a serial killer.

    "I have diarrhea" is the only good answer to the question, "Are you ticklish?"
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member

    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do!
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    Don't let this day end without punching something.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Forgiveness is giving up the right to punish.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Don't let this day end without punching something.
    does a donkey-punch count?
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    If a bro wants to hit the bench press before the upright rows, do it! It's always Bro's before rows!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I've used "Kicking names and taking *kitten*" before, but here on MFP, it takes on new meaning as words of encouragement.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their car. For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    does a donkey-punch count?
    In biz school, my buddies and I would try to sneak terms like "donky punch" into our presentations in front of the class. It can be done, but carefully... I probably bruised ribs struggling to suppress laughter.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    I prefer...
    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can rent it for a while.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    If someone is yelling "I would never hurt you," or something of that nature, while chasing you with an ax, knife or some other kind of weapon, they're lying.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.

    When life gives you lemons, take them. Because, hey free lemons!
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
    If life hands you lemons, go find someone who's life handed them vodka.
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
    The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Some MFP related ones for you all.


    Banging your head against a wall can burn up to 150 calories per hour

    Everything is edible at least once.

    Cool Whip and Miracle Whip are NOT interchangeable :sick:
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    Well behaved women seldom make history.

    Confucius say: Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.

    If I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.

    No good deed goes unpunished.

    Never put off for tomorrow what you can do today. That way if you like it you can do it again tomorrow.

    You can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl. (works well for so many other nouns, too.)
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    Forgot one: If you give a man an inch, he'll think he is a ruler.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Forgot one: If you give a man an inch, he'll think he is a ruler.
    That one is hilarious
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