Funny, quirky sayings or quotes.

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2

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  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    I prefer...
    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can rent it for a while.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    If someone is yelling "I would never hurt you," or something of that nature, while chasing you with an ax, knife or some other kind of weapon, they're lying.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.

    When life gives you lemons, take them. Because, hey free lemons!
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    If life hands you lemons, go find someone who's life handed them vodka.
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Some MFP related ones for you all.


    Banging your head against a wall can burn up to 150 calories per hour

    Everything is edible at least once.

    Cool Whip and Miracle Whip are NOT interchangeable :sick:
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Well behaved women seldom make history.

    Confucius say: Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.

    If I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
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    Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after you.

    No good deed goes unpunished.

    Never put off for tomorrow what you can do today. That way if you like it you can do it again tomorrow.

    You can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl. (works well for so many other nouns, too.)
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
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    Forgot one: If you give a man an inch, he'll think he is a ruler.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Forgot one: If you give a man an inch, he'll think he is a ruler.
    That one is hilarious
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Because light travels faster than sound, you appear bright until you speak.

    I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

    Great minds think alike, unfortunately so do stupid ones.

    Famous last words: Hey, watch This!
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
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    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
    when life gives you melons, you probably have dislexia...

    LOL, nice.
    Famous last words: Hey, watch This!

    LOVE this one!
  • Michellerw1
    Michellerw1 Posts: 367
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    LOL what comes to mind is a movie where Steve Carrell's character says:

    "As John Lennon said, 'You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not.'"
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    LOL what comes to mind is a movie where Steve Carrell's character says:

    "As John Lennon said, 'You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not.'"
    i saw that.. dinner for schmucks, i think
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    When a woman is upset with you it is often therapeutic for them to make sandwiches. Try suggesting she make you one, the next time she is upset with you
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Don't tease fat kids, they have enough on their plates.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    It's Levi-O-sa. Not Levio-SA.
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who lay awake all night wondering if there is a Dog?
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
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    <
    God gave some people hair, and some people brains.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Most people are like Slinkies, relatively useless, but fun to push down stairs

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