Funny, quirky sayings or quotes.

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Replies

  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    Because light travels faster than sound, you appear bright until you speak.

    I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

    Great minds think alike, unfortunately so do stupid ones.

    Famous last words: Hey, watch This!
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    when life gives you lemons, something something something, commit felonies.
    when life gives you melons, you probably have dislexia...

    LOL, nice.
    Famous last words: Hey, watch This!

    LOVE this one!
  • Michellerw1
    Michellerw1 Posts: 367
    LOL what comes to mind is a movie where Steve Carrell's character says:

    "As John Lennon said, 'You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not.'"
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    LOL what comes to mind is a movie where Steve Carrell's character says:

    "As John Lennon said, 'You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not.'"
    i saw that.. dinner for schmucks, i think
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    When a woman is upset with you it is often therapeutic for them to make sandwiches. Try suggesting she make you one, the next time she is upset with you
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Don't tease fat kids, they have enough on their plates.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    It's Levi-O-sa. Not Levio-SA.
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who lay awake all night wondering if there is a Dog?
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    <
    God gave some people hair, and some people brains.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Most people are like Slinkies, relatively useless, but fun to push down stairs
  • jlzrdking
    jlzrdking Posts: 501 Member
    Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    If life hands you lemons, go find someone who's life handed them vodka.

    This one.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    If life hands you lemons, go find someone who's life handed them vodka.
    That someone would be me...
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    My lemon juice is made from artificial flavoring, but my dish soap is made with real lemons.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    Because light travels faster than sound, you appear bright until you speak.

    Great minds think alike, unfortunately so do stupid ones.

    Famous last words: Hey, watch This!

    Ha! Ha! Ha!!!!!!
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    It's just a case of "mind over matter". If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    The male version of a cougar is a pedophile.

    When rearranged, "mother in law" spells "woman hitler."

    I've learned more from Google than from school

    "It's the thought that counts" doesn't apply to exercise and dieting.

    Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    I've got The body of a GOD. And YES they're real. -Buddha.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    Most people are like Slinkies, relatively useless, but fun to push down stairs

    I like this one!!
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
    Here is all you need to know about men and women. Men are stupid and women are crazy and the reason women are crazy is because men are stupid :smile:

    Now I feel the need to duck because someone will inevitably get pissed about what is supposed to be a joke *sigh*
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. .......This is not just a saying, but I've actually proven it to be correct myself more than once! = D
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
    Some of you might tend to agree with this one: In order to live longer you must give up the things that make you want to live longer.

    Sad, but true!
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    Really? No takers... fine I will post it all myself.. I can have my very own thread.... LOL...

    69% of people can find something dirty in every sentence

    HAHA
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    Because light travels faster than sound, you appear bright until you speak.

    I will be using this one this weekend. LOL
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