Need some advice. ..concerning my 2 year old...

kat_renee

Okay, so personally I think this is being taken to extremes. Most pediatricians will tell you that as long as she is healthy and growing right along with the charts not to stress over it. If you feel she's not getting enough vitamins then you can give her a daily multivitamin.

LaSutopia

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

I love this person! YES! AGREE! Do NOT give her nuggets anymore. She will not go hungry and as long as she gets fluids everyday going with out dinner will not hurt her. I WISH my parents had said NO to all the snacking and eating bad things I wanted when I was young but they are the type that are like "Give them what they want" I think if I had wanted to eat mayo out the jar every day they would have let me! I grew up with horrible eating habits and got where I am by justiying that I deserved to eat whatever I want (their attitude) Even now when I bring my kids to see them they will give them cookies and ice cream and chocolate milk and then when they turn around and want candy they say sure! and give it to them. When I say no they have had enough and they don't need anymore junk you know what they say? They say, "He's at MawMaw's house and he can have whatever he wants!" That makes me SOOO freakin angry. We have had fights about it and I try to tell them that their belief system is EXACTLY why I grew up this way and now have a food addiction that I have to break on my own.............Im sorry I kinda ranted there! That is a issue with me and I get angry when I think about it....But I am not saying you are a bad mom. I know its hard to say no when they wont eat anything else and they tell you they are hungry but we have to be strong and do what is right for them no matter what kinda puppy eyes they give us. So Yea offer healthy food, no more nuggets. I would say nothing breaded or fried for a while. Try things like wheat pasta with cheese, or carrots and cheese. To much cheese is bad but kids will eat things that have cheese on them. My son likes ketchup also on things. Try fruit. It is sweet and she might go for that. Maybe you can cut her food into shapes she likes, to make it fun. Call it "princess" whatever. If you make it a novelty then kids are more likely to want it.

r_drie

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

Thanks for this post!! I'm gonna try to be as strong as I can...

I completely agree with this post. I have 3 boys (ages 3 and under) and you cannot let her win the battle of wills. If you lose battles now imagine how many battles you will lose when she gets older.

daisyelaine

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

Thanks for this post!! I'm gonna try to be as strong as I can...

This one!! I am a mom of a 2 and 6 year old, and have worked in childcare for what seems like forever. It's going to be REALLY hard, but you're doing a bigger favor by sticking to your guns. And, as this poster has referred to, you're teaching her that she just has to wait it out to get the nuggets. Well, and if there's a little bit of mommy guilt in there ( which is the WORST feeling as a parent!! ), all the better for her! I'm not saying that she's using it to her advantage.. but.. they learn pretty quick!
And, you know that you wouldn't eat those on a regular basis because of what's in them.. think of what they're doing to her little body!
You can do this!!( and yeah, you need to be strong, but it's so worth it!)

-A mom who's been there. :flowerforyou:

PanteraGirl

This a tough one. I like the reward system idea that Dizneylvr1971 suggested.

Maybe let her know that you don't have any chicken nuggets in the house at all so she will have to pick something else she likes to eat or would like to try.

Have you tried doing fun and creative meals where together she could decorate her plate with the food she has on them....or make sandwiches into shapes.....waffle shapes with fruit to make a smiley face or something of that sort?

All this I'm sure is easier said than done I'm sure. I'm personally about the tough love thing. If she's hungry....bottom line she will eat..... if you have to wipe away the crocodile tears and call her bluff.

She's doing it because she already knows how to manipulate.

Manipulation is one of the first negative behaviors ever single kid learns. I'm sure every single parent goes through it. You have to weigh the options though....is it healthier for her to miss a few meals before she starts eating other food, or is chicken nuggets going to be devastating to her health.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKSoiDtdi9s

I ve heard so many bad things about nuggets....i will maybe eat them once a year.

I really hope things work out for you! Good luck

CatMauro

You're halfway there. When she finally says that she's hungry she's most likely to eat what you give her. Trust me, she's not going to starve and if she doesn't eat what you eat try giving her other things that she will. It's not the complete end of the world if she eats chicken nuggets but you also don't want to set a standard for poor eating habbits.

MrsCon40

You are the adult. If she laid down on the floor screaming, "I WANT A BEEEEEER" you wouldn't give it to her.

She may miss a couple of meals but she won't starve to death. She WILL eventually eat what is given to her.

hbrekkaas

I agree with almost everyone else. Its a battle of wills, and shes winning.

Take the chicken nuggets and throw them in the garbage. Honestly tell her that they are all gone and give her something else to eat. She won't starve. If you want to cushion it a bit you could make your own nuggets and tell her that she can have those or (instert other food here) Odds are she will try them, It might be a few hard days, but eventually it will get better.

Make sure you do't replace the nuggets with something else thats equally junky though, like hotdogs or boxed mac and cheese.

CatchMom11

She's 2, they don't fully understand at this age. Once she gets a little older then it's easier for them to understand.

Punishing a child by not letting them eat, in my opinion, is cruel. Any Psychologist will tell you, at that age, if you need to put them in timeout, it should be one minute for each year. Past two minutes for a 2 year old, and they likely don't remember what they're being punished for. Tell that same 2 year old that either they eat or they go hungry and they're likely to forget and wonder why Mommy's not feeding them. It's a compromise.

You have to be able to let kids go through their phases to a certain extent. In a year or so when she's older and can understand better, then get firmer with her. It's worked like a charm for kids.

walkwithme1

Ok, this will be hard but you can't give in to her. I have had to send my boys to bed hungry and trust me, it doesn't last long. A few times and they got it. I would fix dinner and give them 30 minutes to eat. If they didn't eat or complained about what was for dinner they were excused, sent to their room and the same meal was served for breakfast. (This was the pediatrians recommendation, definitely not my idea.) It only took a couple of times for my 6 year old to realize I wasn't going to cave in and took me a few times to get used to the crying and excuses. He now eats dinner with no complaining, this goes for my 3 year old as well. And I don't agree with rewarding them for trying new foods. This is part of growing up. If you keep giving in are you really helping her be "healthy"? Are you really teaching her the rules of the house? Aren't you just making more work for yourself by caving in? Are you really hurting her by sending her to bed hungry? No. Will she starve? Absolutely not.

Good Luck!

anbegley

We are having a very similar problem with our two year old. He would rather drink his calories than eat them. We were having a battle of wills and he was winning as he knew I would eventually give in. Sounds like your little one has you figured. out. Finally, after talking with a developmental specialists she said he will only go to bed hungry so many times. He WILL learn to eat what is offered. So for the past week and a half we have said you can sit in the chair and eat or you can sit in the other chair, no tv, no toys, just sitting and even more important for him, no milk. IT HAS WORKED. He has only not eaten one night. Now there were tantrums the first three days, but he did come around. He has eaten broccoli, chicken, fish, rice, hotdog, potatoes, etc. Does he eat everything on his plate, no, but he is eating.
You have to remain strong and even keeled about. (I found the more I got worked up the more he objected). You have to remember, she will not starve. Let her go to bed hungry, I bet she will eat the next night.
I do like the reward system for eating as I don't want food tied to anything other than food and sustaining our bodies. Down the road I don't want him thinking if he holds out on something that eventually I will give him a reward for doing it. Slippery slope in my opinion.
Whatever you decide, Good Luck!
Angela

Sweet_Pandora

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

I totally agree with this!

Stop buying the chicken nuggets.

I grew up with parents that gave in to my every whim and all I had to do is pout and say I didn't like what they were serving and I would be told to go and sit in the living room and when they were done they would take me to McDonalds or my mother would make another meal for me, usually something in a box or from a can.

When I had my own child I vowed that I would not make two different meals in my house. My daughter was served her dinner with us, if she turned her nose up or said she didn't like it I would put a pot lid over her plate and eventually she would get hungry and return to the table to eat.

She is now 13 and will eat or at least try almost anything. She has one friend that I dread coming over all the girl who is also 13 eats is chicken nuggets and fries, she doesn't stay for dinner very often.

You are not doing your daughter any favours, include her in the grocery shopping and the meal prepartion.

All the best.

K

DanaM810

My nephew went through the same thing for what seemed like forever. It does get better. The fact of the matter is that forcing them to eat things they aren't ready to "like" yet won't help. It's pure psychology. You want them to enjoy eating & to see the positive nutrition in things rather than thinking that there are "bad" foods. If she's eating frozen chicken nuggets, at least she's getting protein and fat. I promise it will get better...it did for my nephew...he eats so much more now, including things that are green. In my college biology class, we even did a lab where we all tasted things in a blind study, and to one person, it was bitter, and to another sweet. So sometimes, things genuinely do not taste pleasing to children...it's not always all in the head, but rather in our taste buds. Hang in there...

beccyleigh

a little bit of reverse psychology works too. when we are in Thailand & my son is confronted with food he isn't familiar (v odd north east country style food), I just say, "oh no you wont like it, daddy likes it but you aren't big enough to eat this yet" sure fire way to get him to eat it.

Another thing I did when he was weaning was to place small amounts of several types of food on one plate, so one fish finger, some peas, a few pieces of carrot, some grapes, cucumber slices etc on the plate., whatever he ate the most of I would offer more of it if he had a mouthful of something else on the plate. He is now 4 & eats everything (except Lamb, none of us like it), and of course being 4, will some days try it on for crisps or cookies for dinner or make a fuss if he doesn't like the smell or look of what is on his plate but generally being quite strict & no nonsense has turned him in to a good eater.

ajbeans

I read this post when you first posted it, and I've been thinking on it. I don't know if there's a really good answer here. But you could try the "one-bite" rule. We have a rule that our kids have to try one bite of everything on their plates. Now, we usually put a little bit of everything on the table on their plates, but since she's being super picky you would probably just want to start with one thing -- maybe some fruit, or a bite of a veggie. She can have as many chicken nuggets as she wants, but she has to try one bite of the new food. Now, we don't super-enforce this -- like we're not going to get into a yelling match or make the kids sit at the table for hours if they won't try their food. But it's strongly encouraged, and if it's something we know they have liked in the past, they can't have seconds of whatever it is they're preferring until they have that bite of the new food. I don't know if that will work for you since she's 2, but it's working for my kids who are 5 and 3. It's worth a shot.

Every bit of advice I've heard or read says to just keep offering. Put a little on her plate at meal time, and encourage her to try it. I've also heard of just putting all the food on the table and the empty plate in front of her, and not saying anything about the food -- just wait until she asks for something. That worked for my oldest when she went through a really picky phase and wouldn't eat anything (I think she was around 2.5 at the time). It takes the pressure off of them, and it kind of piques their curiosity because they're so used to you begging them to eat, so they want to draw your attention to their plates. That's something else you can try.

Good luck! Know that this phase will not last forever, and it will not hurt her in the long run. She'll be ok. Just keep trying, and as she gets older you can reason with her more and get her to eat a wider variety of foods. Hang in there! If you're really concerned about her health, take her to the doctor for a well-child visit. I'll bet he'll tell you she's still growing and is healthy. And he might also have some more suggestions for getting her to eat more foods.

ShannonMpls

She's two, so it's harder to deal with this at her age than an older child...but she's still learning, right now, that she's in control of what she eats and that mom will give in in the end.

This is the best advice I've read on this topic:
http://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace.com/home/2009/9/30/how-cottage-cheese-changed-my-life.html
Select a backup food - one your child likes but doesn't love, a food you can always have available and takes no work to prepare. Your child eats the meal you prepare for the family, eats the regular backup food, or doesn't eat. I'm not sure this will work with a 2 year old, but you're right that you need to try something!

FearAnLoathing

You are the adult. If she laid down on the floor screaming, "I WANT A BEEEEEER" you wouldn't give it to her.

She may miss a couple of meals but she won't starve to death. She WILL eventually eat what is given to her.

^this

hazelbliss6

I agree with: "Eat the dinner we had or go to bed hungry." It's our job as parents to teach the importance of nutrition, but also just to secure who is the boss. Going to bed hungry for a few nights will not hurt her and will be worth it in the long run. Just expect the temper tantrum because there will be a battle, but you can win the war.

Sasssy69

What does her pediatrician say? My youngest daughter did this exact same thing (she's now 6) and her pediatrician told me, "If she's eating, let her be. You don't want her to develop food issues by making this a battle. Honestly, this is one of the few things that she can control."

Of course, that whole "She'll eat when she's hungry" thing did NOT work with my daughter. After three days of her refusing everything I offered, and not eating, I decided I was doing more harm than good.

She's now six, and is a lot more willing to try new foods. It comes with age. It's perfectly natural for kids to want to eat the same foods over and over.

Really though - touch base with her pediatrician. He/she will be able to help you.

CakeFit21

My three year old has been a little pickier lately. He procrastinates eating and talks a lot during dinner. I just keep reminding him that he needs to eat one bite, because I'm positive that as soon as he tries what I've made he'll eat the rest. He usually takes a bite and then eats. Sometimes he takes a bite and doesn't want the rest and sometimes he won't try it at all. Then guess what? He gets nothing. I have no problem putting him to bed without dinner. He has done this less and less. Actually, when I mention going to bed it's usually enough to get him to eat some dinner, but not always. He is actually an amazing eater for his age, but I have always held firm in this area. You eat what I give you or you eat nothing.