Need some advice. ..concerning my 2 year old...

leosmom1220

My two year old is the same way with hot dogs. But I started letting him help me with the meal planning and eating with big people plates, cups and utensils and it has gotten a lot better. He still asks dlfor the hot dog out of routine but then I say do you wanna help mama make supper and then dinner goes as normal with him eating what we make. I was always taught by my grandfather that you have to try to make it some sort of game to a young Childs mind if you want the kind of cooperation you expect.

TS65

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

This! Be the mom. Be strong.

godblessourhome

oh, and invest in some juice plus gummies. they help introduce 17 different fruits and vegetables into her diet without eating the real food. they are awesome!

While this may help in meeting vitamin requirements this is teaching no good lesson about eating real, healthy food. That will not add 17 different fruits and vegetables into their diet - it will teach them that if you don't like the 17 different fruit and vegetables you can just eat candy because they are "healthy" and just as good. :noway:

you may choose to believe that, but that was not my, or several friends', experience with them. because they eat the gummy of 17 real fruits and vegetables (dehydrated and crushed in a non-sugar pectin), they acquired a taste for the real thing without eating the real thing (especially important if texture is an issue). introducing kale and broccoli and spinach was made much easier because they had already 'tasted' them before.

CaptainMFP

We are having a very similar problem with our two year old. He would rather drink his calories than eat them. We were having a battle of wills and he was winning as he knew I would eventually give in. Sounds like your little one has you figured. out. Finally, after talking with a developmental specialists she said he will only go to bed hungry so many times. He WILL learn to eat what is offered. So for the past week and a half we have said you can sit in the chair and eat or you can sit in the other chair, no tv, no toys, just sitting and even more important for him, no milk. IT HAS WORKED. He has only not eaten one night. Now there were tantrums the first three days, but he did come around. He has eaten broccoli, chicken, fish, rice, hotdog, potatoes, etc. Does he eat everything on his plate, no, but he is eating.
You have to remain strong and even keeled about. (I found the more I got worked up the more he objected). You have to remember, she will not starve. Let her go to bed hungry, I bet she will eat the next night.
I do like the reward system for eating as I don't want food tied to anything other than food and sustaining our bodies. Down the road I don't want him thinking if he holds out on something that eventually I will give him a reward for doing it. Slippery slope in my opinion.
Whatever you decide, Good Luck!
Angela

I want to second what my wife has said here. Let me add that children of this age are very good at figuring out hunger. The developmental specialist we worked with was emphatic that sending them to bed hungry a couple of times is NOT cruel, and she works with many special needs kids. (Our son is severely hearing impaired.) In the end, these types of situations are not about the food; they are about control. If you remove the control/confrontation element, you will eventually win. Again, in our case it was (1) take away the problem items (e.g. milk before or during dinner) and (2) present a clear choice. We did not object to him not eating, but we made the consequences of his choice clear. As soon as he realized he couldn't play us or get an emotional rise from us by not eating he gave in and chose to eat what was served. He's also given in (a bit) to the competition that motivates my 4-yo...he's so anxious to "beat daddy" by finishing his veggies first that he gobbles them down...the 2-yo is starting to pick up on that too as he watches his brother interact with me.

Be careful with the stick-to-your guns advice...it may work but it may also backfire...this is not really about food. If you remove the confrontation and dispassionately force her to choose eat or not I think you'll do better.

MamaKatel

lol, I have the opposite problem. I can't get my 2 year old to eat chicken nuggets for the life of me. I can't get him to eat ANY meat what so ever.

spacecase76

'do you think we should have a bowl of popcorn or some grapes as dessert?'

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not give a 2 year old popcorn!! The APA says 4! If you give her grapes, make sure they are cut in half and she is supervised when eating them. These are both MAJOR choking hazards!

fteale

My son was very fussy. You have to just not cave. You will have BATTLES. I have been screamed at, bitten, kicked, but you are the parent. If my son really won't eat, I let him have a banana and some brown toast or a yoghurt.

My nephew was the same, my sister caved, and at 12 he has real food issues. You don't need to be draconian, just make her try one new thing a day. It takes something like 18 tastes to like something new, so just keep going.

mamax5

My son is a little like that, but with fish sticks! He's 3 and eats pb&j's, fishsticks, mac and cheese. Now the good thing is he'll eat eggs, cottage cheese and just about every fruit there is. He recently discovered that he likes turkey sandwhiches with mustard on wheat. He will try things, but just spits it out. With him it feels like a phase.

astovey

tell her the store ran out? :flowerforyou:

eamconnor

As a child, I loved the cream of wheat my mother served for breakfast every morning. However, some days, I just wasn't in the mood and left the bowl mostly uneaten. My mother had no problem with this; however, she did let me know that what I didn't eat for breakfast would be served to me again, this time cold from the refrigerator, when I returned home for lunch. Occasionally, I went back to school after a lunch of cold cream of wheat. It didn't happen often, but there were no surprises -- my mother was very clear about what would happen if I didn't eat my breakfast, and she stuck to it. I still love cream of wheat and admire my mother's resolve.

kanonxbou47

I was like that when I was little. All I ever ate was hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly, until I realized other food was good too.
Maybe start by telling her she can only have her chicken nuggets once a day, because they're bad for her, and give her other healthy meals that are delicious. From then, you can cut down on them until she's hardly ever eating them.
Maybe, you should just not buy them. If you don't have them, she can't eat them no matter how much she whines.

Cutting them into cute shapes helps too. Like, you can slice a strawberry and cut it into flower shapes. It's time-consuming, but worth it. Also, try giving her some chocolate milk. it's sweet, but it has the nutrients of normal milk too.

CatchMom11

You seem to be the only person that gets this!

What people don't seem to remember is that she's 2. After reading the initial post I talked to a few actual educators I know who have not only had to take the psychology part that comes with being an educator, but the nutritional part as well. They are DISAGREE with the "eat or go to bed hungry" method. If she were older, yes... but again, she's TWO!

CatchMom11

Again, she's TWO! She's incapable of being manipulative.

CatchMom11

Couldn't agree more! It's a phase and it will pass.

stormieweather

"broken record" works quite well with small children:

I want chicken nuggets!!!

No chicken nuggets tonight. Would you rather have peanut butter/jelly or ravioli?

Chicken nuggets!!

Nope. Now, how about some ravioli or would you rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Don't want that. Gimme Chicken nuggets.

Peanut butter and jelly or ravioli??

Etc...

Don't debate it, don't discuss or try to rationalize it. There ARE no chicken nuggets tonight. If you're hungry you can have A or B.

The end.

Ps...I have three children and have given a home to several others. The oldest is 28 and the youngest is 6. We don't have mealtime battles because I choose not to engage. Here is the food, take it or leave it.

suzibrew

Lots of great suggestions! She is only 2 so I wouldn't do anything too drastic, but I have a friend who has a son who is now 14. All of his life she has catered to his special food quirks. To this day he is a horrible eater he will not eat chicken breast or drumsticks only nuggets he won't eat beef unless it is a hamburger patty. He has countless other weird eating "things" and she has to cook separately for him all the time. He doesn't seem to eat fruits and veggies at all. Just way too picky and his mom fully believes she has created this "monster".

I have three boys all very different personalities and have all been thru their different phases. I have always tried to make fruit available for snacks, it is easy to get them hooked on fruit!

I like the idea someone had that when she is hungry at bedtime she gets a plate of the dinner that was served to the family. I often leave my littlest ones dinner (he is 7) when he won't eat it and eventually he comes back to it. He says I'm hungry and I say your dinner is on the table!!!!

Good luck! Don't lose sleep over it! Enjoy your sweet 2 year old girl.....for one day she will be a teenager : )

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Again, she's TWO! She's incapable of being manipulative.

Then you haven't met my son. Babies are not capable of being manipulative, toddlers are. He totally manipulates his baby sitter. He knows he's not supposed to eat on the couch, but when he's with her the first thing he does when she says "breakfast" is climb up on the couch and point at the spot next to him. Toddlers are manipulative.
Fodd conversations with my son go like this, "B it's time for dinner." If he doesn't want what's for dinner he gets another vegetable option and another lean meat option. He knows what to expect, she needs to know to expect something different. I'm not an "eat everything on your plate mom" I'm an "eat as much as you want of what I give you mom."

Scarletblue

I didn't read many of the replies, but in my experience kids go through so many phases and this is just one of them, let her eat her nuggets, I have 3 kids and they have all went through this with some type of food, if your worried about her nutrition you can supplement it with pediasure, I had to do this when my daughter wouldn't eat anything but cantalope and some days she wouldn't eat at all pediasure became a life saver, now that she is 5 she will at least try everything set in front of her which I think is great and if she doesn't like it I know she doesn't like it, and I think not forcing her to eat things when she really only had a taste for cantalope helped. my boys which are 9 and 13 yrs old still go through these phases but they last for about a week or two at a time and since they are older I allow it to be one meal now that they are in school it'll be as an after school snack. sorry this got so dragged out.

I completely forgot with my boys I used to get them to try new foods by pretending we were on the show fear factor do you remember this show they use to eat disgusting things and my boys would say " their wimps I could eat that" so I would name the food gross things like "come eat your maggots and sheep brains". They loved it.

Jennyisbusy

I like the 'options' option. Let her help choose what goes on her plate, and try to always have at least one choice that she will most likely eat.

If she asks for nuggets scoop her up and give her a kiss and tell her I am sorry baby but there are no nuggets tonight, and then let it go, tell her the options again. etc.

If you serve up the nuggets it should be on your own terms - on a fresh day.

I don't make my kids eat, but I tell them that I expect them to be polite and sit with the family at the table until dinner is over. Then they get to see me and hubby eat our dinners as well as have the family time that is so hard to get. We also have a rule that they are not allowed to say "I don't like XYZ" cause if one kids says it the other kids tries to live it. So if they don't like something they are allowed to just leave it on their plate.

messyinthekitchen

I had the same problem with my 2 year old son. Unfortunately she knows you're going to give into her. I know it's hard for you but you need to let her go to bed with a sore belly. I had to let my son go to bed without dinner 3 nights in a row. I did offer him milk and water though as I didn't want to starve the kid. After a few days he understood. His thing is peanut butter sandwiches. Now he get's them maybe twice a week and he knows that no matter what I won't budge.

laura2501

what are u people on, she is only 2 let her eat nuggets she will get bored of them in the end she is eating and she is healthy NEVER send a child to bed :HuNGERY she will be fine mine lived on sausages for over 6 months took him to the doctor and he said not to worry i didnt and now he is 14 eats like a pig and wont touch a sausage ,she will be fine dont worry

fionarama

I have a 3 year old and in my experience small children really stick to what they know and whats safe. Apparently they need to try new food something like 16 times before they will trust it enough to eat it.
A two year old is too small to reason with particularly (at 3 nearly 4 I can ask my child to make an effort to at least eat some of whats on offer and then give her a little of what she likes).
.
I believe in always offering choice - when we get up I ask do you want weet bix or crispies for breakfast and she varies, but I know if she were a two year old and I just told her she was having weet bix she could possibly make a fuss.

i don't believe in making a fuss about food either as this can make meal times which should be fun into a war zone. I'd give one chicken nugget on a plate with other child friendly food - potato mash, spagetti, baked beans....and not say a word just let her eat what she wants. No dialogue about what she has or has not eaten.
If she's hungry later because she hasn't eaten enough give her a banana or some yoghurt or a plain biscuit, but the nuggets limit them to only one only at a main meal, they are not something to snack on anyway.
You need to be firm and she'll soon get the hang of it.
I don't think it should be allowed to go on that she only eats nuggets, mainly becuase she is manipulating you and you need her to learn that you're not a short order cook - she eats what dinner is doesn't put an order in!

emergencytennis

Oh geez, what a nightmare. Good luck to you

I am not a mom, but I am a former chef and do have a sugesstion.... perhaps getting her involved in the meal preperation would help. My experience with kids is that sometimes they can be scared of something becaue they don't understand it. I wonder if making it 'fun' somehow would help.

I just thought of that scene from "A Christmas Story" ..... "Show mummy how the piggys eat!"

LOL, good luck.

This sounds like a great idea. My kids love it when they help cook something and we all sit down and say how delicious it is. A toddler can stir, spread stuff on bread or even mould balls or patties.

Sezmo83

One of my brothers lived on potato waffles, chips and roast potatoes for almost 20 years. Now he's 25 and he lives on chicken nuggets, chicken burgers, chicken dippers and cheese and tomato pizza. My mum tried refusing to allow him the things he'd eat. He simply didn't eat and made himself seriously ill. She tried rewarding him for trying new things. He'd put something new in his mouth and promptly throw up. She tried tricking him by making one food look like something else. Same result, as soon as he tasted it he was sick. He was at the hospital regularly as a kid because of his eating problems.

They say he has a food phobia stemming from a terrible stomach upset he had while being weaned, everything he ate then came straight back up. As he's gotten older he's said it doesn't matter how much he wants to try something he physically can't do so without being sick.

Robyn4444

Hi,

I've got a 13 year old & 15 year old, so I've had my share of food battles! Oh, they don't stop...hello potato gems.

My suggestion would be to stop bringing the chicken nuggets into the house. She can look in the freezer all she likes, but if they're not there, they're not there.

Also, and I've done this, when you are making your dinner, sit her up at the bench and as you chop up the carrots "for your dinner", put them on a plate in front of you. Do the same with some beans. Chat away to her as you are preparing dinner, and she'll probably start picking at some of the veggies you are preparing. You could even put out a small pot of dip out (avocado or cream cheese) As long as she doesn't think it's for her, she might just pinch a couple of things off the plate. If she does fall for this, even if she refuses to eat anything else, she won't go to bed hungry.

I agree with the post about it being a battle of wills.

Good luck.

furrina

I'm still getting over the idea of being a 2 year old in a house with fish sticks, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cheese-its etc. as dining options. I did not have such an experience. Nor did I, as far as I know, have the experience of dictating to my parents what I was going to eat, I think it was the other way round. I definitely went through the I *won't* eat it phase (known as my entire childhood, I believe) but maybe that was because I didn't have the option of living on french fries which I'm sure I would have eaten 24-7 had someone introduced this as a possibliity. Those things were known as occasional treats. Like at a fair. Like every several months, if that.

Stop feeding your kids junk. Stop eating junk. There will be tons of other things to fight about, but at least everyone will be healthier and without lifelong weight issues.

krysydawn

I have two opinions on this...

1) let her have an empty achy belly.. she will eventually eat what you give her.

2) bribe her with cash. kids love cash..

furrina

she did let me know that what I didn't eat for breakfast would be served to me again, this time cold from the refrigerator, when I returned home for lunch. Occasionally, I went back to school after a lunch of cold cream of wheat. It didn't happen often, but there were no surprises -- my mother was very clear about what would happen if I didn't eat my breakfast, and she stuck to it.

This would be my mom...

sfalk1977

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

I agree - I have a 4 year old and 2 1/2 year old. Both have been through this phase. It is tough emotionally but you will be helping her in the long run.

furrina

Tell her too many chicken nuggets will turn her into a chicken???

this would be my dad...