Kids say the Darndest things

sarahsmom1

1) We bought our daughter a bike. So then we went and got her a helmet. We were driving home she was making sure the helmet fit so she was wearing it in the car, a car pulled in front of me I slammed on the breaks my daughter turned and looked at me and said "
Thank god I had my helmet on." I was hysterical

2) My daughter was 15 reading a magazine there was a face cream ad she got all excited and said Mom look at this it makes you look 10 years younger. Mom can I get it ? If I used it i could (doing the math) look like I'm (pause) 5. We looked at each other and laughed so hard she 23 now and it is still funny

DrPepperLeigh74

Too cute, they can say the funniest stuff. When my daughter (she's 9 now) was around 3 her Dad was driving and had to slam on the brakes and she hollers "Whoa there cowboy". You never do know what is coming out next.... LoL... Then my son(who is 5) was 4 he asked for a toy while we were out and I told him not today I don't have much money, we then go inside the Post office to get stamps and the clerk asked him how he was doing today? (he was looking pouty because I said no toy) he then proceeds to tell the postal clerk and the whole line of people behind me I'm fine but my mommy and daddy are poor... Gotta love them young'uns!!!:laugh:

odusgolp

My four year old came in my room while I was getting dressed... rolled his eyes and told me to "Put Those Away" pointing at my boobs and walked away.

ceebs9

When my daughter was about 3 or 4 I was shopping at the mall. I think I was looking at purses. This child talked ALL THE TIME. So anyway, she's blabbering away and some old woman near us is smiling at her when all of the sudden out of nowhere she asks me, "Mommy, when Daddy becomes a woman will he wear dresses?" Wiped the smile right off that ladies face.

edited because I got the story a little off. It WAS a long time ago.:embarassed:

maddymama

Too funny.


When my oldest was two years old, we were staying in a hotel for the night. The next morning at the very crowded breakfast buffet, my daughter notices the CLOCK on the wall. She then notices my husband's watch on his wrist and points to his wrist and yells "DADDY HAS A ****! DADDY HAS A ****!" Gotta love the inability of little kids to blend beginning sounds.

Daughter #2, who just turned two, has been calling her CROCS "*kitten*" all week. I just keep cracking up.

ceebs9

When I taught kindergarten I had this one kid who kept telling me one day how HUGE his dad's member was. I had a hard time looking the dad in the eye at the next parent-teacher conference.

jenny95662

Too funny.


When my oldest was two years old, we were staying in a hotel for the night. The next morning at the very crowded breakfast buffet, my daughter notices the CLOCK on the wall. She then notices my husband's watch on his wrist and points to his wrist and yells "DADDY HAS A ****! DADDY HAS A ****!" Gotta love the inability of little kids to blend beginning sounds.

Daughter #2, who just turned two, has been calling her CROCS "*kitten*" all week. I just keep cracking up.

Our last name is Cox and for the first 3 years of my childs life we were known as the **** family lmao

jenny95662

When I taught kindergarten I had this one kid who kept telling me one day how HUGE his dad's member was. I had a hard time looking the dad in the eye at the next parent-teacher conference.

thats just too funny love kids and how they have no filter

timtamslam

Funny this thread should be made because I got told about this the other day, when I was a kid I was sitting on grandad's knee and said to him "When you were younger was there a big war" to which he replied "Yes". I then looked at him and said "Did the Romans win?". :happy:

odusgolp

Funny this thread should be made because I got told about this the other day, when I was a kid I was sitting on grandad's knee and said to him "When you were younger was there a big war" to which he replied "Yes". I then looked at him and said "Did the Romans win?". :happy:

FYI: I'm fatter than you. Damn.

TluvK

While watching some old school cartoons the other day, my daughter says, "Mom, who's Jerry?" I said, "He's the mouse". She says, "Oh, okay, well then who's Tomand?

TluvK

Another one: My daughter asked me what a Male was. I explained, your brother's a boy so he's a male. You are a girl, so you are a female. Then I said, "So, what am I?" She said, "You're a female". I said, "Good, now what is daddy?" She pauses and says, "He's a Mer-man??

odusgolp

I love these *LOL*

TluvK

Sorry, can't stop.

I said to my son: "Joey, please stop scratching your butt." He responded, "I'm not scratching my butt. I'm scratching the INSIDE of my butt."

thegymbunny

My four year old came in my room while I was getting dressed... rolled his eyes and told me to "Put Those Away" pointing at my boobs and walked away.

My son said "mommy, you have bigger nipples"

Even my son embarrases me


he also told me I had a big butt in a crowded pool

CaWaterBug8

Bump - These are great!

ohwhataday

Hahahah. That they do. These are hilarious!! A couple weeks ago my daughter was sitting with my husband and they were drawing together. I'm not sure of what she drew but I heard her say about her little brother "There, that should scare Wesley out the crap!".. or something to that effect. ahhh. ♥ her.

ceebs9

Sometimes when my teenagers are being ridiculous my husband will tell them to shut their pie-holes. Sometimes it gets shortened. So we're driving somewhere and my 14 yr old (at the time) is just being a little pr!ck. Going on and on about something. Finally my husband just says really firmly and in a deep voice, "Shut... your... hole!" My son is quiet for a few seconds and then quietly says, "Which hole?"

Maybe it's not funny to anyone else, but we all started giggling and it broke the tension and we ended up having a nice evening.

thegymbunny

I have always been a huge college football fan, as has my ex husband.
They were raised hearing about it.


So yesterday we are walking out to the car in the morning and my daughter says "mommy, it's football weather!"

My heart melted!

bmfrazie

Love this. I know my son has said lots of funny things but I can't think of anything.

lilyinlove

My 4 year old asked for some lobser piss... I was like whhaaa???

He said those big things you can lick...


Ah gobstoppers!!!!