Kids say the Darndest things

cdc33

We were chating with the neighbours and my son who was 3 at the time turns to the neighbours and says my baby brother has a contagious penis, needless to say there were a few weird looks. His baby brother had a circumsition and pink eye.

My 2 good friends would come over always together so one day my son asks so Aunty Erin is Aunty Dallas your husband. Dallas was like why am I the guy?

cdc33

Oh we were shopping in zellers and my son at the time was 2.5 say hey mom look at that man, so I look but only see a lady stocking shelves Im like I only see a lady hes like in a loud voice ITS A MAN MOMMY ITS A MAN. By this time Im starting to turn the cart and am practicaly running and laughing, it just so out rageous.

Oh I remember being in the ladies bathroom going pee when I feel my foot getting wet and then I here a mother saying AIM son Aim he was peeing on my shoe. to funny

brittmiles07

Oh we were shopping in zellers and my son at the time was 2.5 say hey mom look at that man, so I look but only see a lady stocking shelves Im like I only see a lady hes like in a loud voice ITS A MAN MOMMY ITS A MAN. By this time Im starting to turn the cart and am practicaly running and laughing, it just so out rageous.

Oh I remember being in the ladies bathroom going pee when I feel my foot getting wet and then I here a mother saying AIM son Aim he was peeing on my shoe. to funny

My daughter likes to LOUDLY ask me why that lady has hair like a boy, or why does that lady need a cane, etc. Very embarrassing!

elsham

Me: Make sure you wash your hands.
Brother: But my hands aren't thirsty yet...

Brother 1: So how does it feel to be 2 decimeters?
Brother 2: Don't you mean 2 decades?!

babygurl48

loving these!! too funny!!

when my son was four... a lonnnnggggg time ago.. i took him to mcdonald's.. proceeded to ask him what he wanted..he said hangarburger!!..the girls working couldn't stop giggling!!! neither could it!!!..lol..

MamaKatel

Okay, have to bump on this one, these are too good!

SuperMoniMonk

3 yr old Caden had a really cuddly cute sheep toy he loved to hug, I asked him what it was..and he said..."my Lamp!"

I said " What is it? "A lamp..ok ! my lamp ! he said fustrated...lol

what is it? lol Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Lampppppppppppppppppp!:explode:

He meant his lamb..lol

so cute..:laugh:

sarahsmom1

My son and I were in toys R us and a man was standing next to us my son here a noise and he pulled on the mans pant leg and said "you fart?"

scott1024

My two girls were about 5 and 3 at the time, and we often referred to them as "Frick and Frack". Well it was hilarious/embarrassing one day when the 3 y/o introduced herself to an acquantance, "I'm Frack and she's Frickin'."

ohwhataday

My son and I were in toys R us and a man was standing next to us my son here a noise and he pulled on the mans pant leg and said "you fart?"

haha

anotheryearolder

My grandson, who was 3 at the time, got real serious one day and I could tell he was really really thinking about something. I asked him what it was and he got even more serious, looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "Gramma, when I'm all grown up you will be dead".

I could tell that really was bothering him, so I said no I won't either, unless I get in an accident or get sick and that can happen to anybody. I told him that on his 18th birthday we would have a race down our driveway, which is really long, and whoever lost would buy dinner. That was good enough for him. Unfortunately, I had witnesses and I get harassed every birthday about the great race. It will happen next year. I guess I better get my chubby butt in gear. :laugh:

shelleilei

This is more of a what my son did than said moment.

Owen was about 2.5 and I was working in a nursing home and brought him to pick up my paycheck. I sat him on the sofa with his toy while I walked the 3 steps away to sign for my paycheck. Then I hear the alarm go off saying "BRRRRP< BRRRRRP< ALL RESIDENTS MUST EVACUATE<BRRRRP< BRRRRRP< ALL RESIDENTS MUST EVACUATE"

Yep, he pulled the fire alarm which signaled the fire department. :noway:

nerdyandilikeit

3 yr old Caden had a really cuddly cute sheep toy he loved to hug, I asked him what it was..and he said..."my Lamp!"

I said " What is it? "A lamp..ok ! my lamp ! he said fustrated...lol

what is it? lol Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Lampppppppppppppppppp!:explode:

He meant his lamb..lol

so cute..:laugh:

This reminds me of my brother growing up! My siblings and my cousins were always playing games where we all pretended we were dogs or random stuff. Well, one day when my cousins were over, we were being dogs. I asked my brother what kind of dog he was and it sounded like he was saying 'pimple'. My cousin and I (who are older) were giggling, and I was like 'what kind of dog is a pimple?' My brother was getting all mad and saying 'NO, not a pimple, a PIT. BULL.!' We were like 'oh....' but every time he said pit bull normally it came out pimple. I think I cried from laughing.

cdc33

My friends nephew had a lisp and would always say can we go to the sh*ty park instead of the city park to cute


My cousin was in the bank with my aunt and said mommy look at those ones there sooooo big he was pointing at the ladies boobs who was in front of them he he hehe so funny.

mommared53

Sometimes when my teenagers are being ridiculous my husband will tell them to shut their pie-holes. Sometimes it gets shortened. So we're driving somewhere and my 14 yr old (at the time) is just being a little pr!ck. Going on and on about something. Finally my husband just says really firmly and in a deep voice, "Shut... your... hole!" My son is quiet for a few seconds and then quietly says, "Which hole?"

Maybe it's not funny to anyone else, but we all started giggling and it broke the tension and we ended up having a nice evening.

Oh that just cracked me up! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

mommared53

So i'm on a commercial flight going from point A to point B. We were coming in on final to the airport and this kid in front of
me looked out the window to see the flaps engage. He turns to his mom and yells "HEY MOM.... THE WING IS COMING APART!"
Everyone on the right side of the plane jumped towards the window as every ounce of air was sucked in from all the gasps. I sat back and laughed my balls off.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:
Oops, the last five should be laugh icons not happy icons.

mommared53

My husband I were married when we were both very young. Sadly, that showed in our maturity when communicating with each other, ie: instead of excuse me we'd say "move your fat *kitten*". When our youngest was about 3 (now 21) we were grocery shopping and came around the corner only to met by a rather large lady in the aisle. This was an old store, and the aisles were very narrow. So there we stand, our daughter who's sitting in the cart facing us, sees me do an eye roll because this lady is taking a long time to make her selection. My husband does a "tsk huh" under his breath. My daughter turns around, and proceeds to tell the lady, "Lady MOVE YOUR FAT *kitten*!" I almost faint. My husband turns around and walks away, because he's choking he's laughing so hard. I'm standing there trying to speak, and can't because I'm so flabbergasted, I can't find words. Needless to say, we grew up fast and got some manners!

It's so wrong to laugh about that but that is so funny!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

mommared53

My daughter, who is 3, and her cousin Andrew are good friends. Andrew is biracial, so he's obviously got darker skin than us. Abby was in the pool with my mom and she saw this little boy with a really deep tan. She walked up to him and said "You're brown. You're brown like Andrew." The boy gave her a funny look and asked who Andrew was. Abby said, "Andrew is my cousin. He's brown. He has brown arms, and a brown nose!". Too funny. This kid notices everything about people! Like if they have a different hair color, or talk with an accent, etc. And she always makes a loud comment. Not rude, just observant.

She also thinks that one day she's going to turn into a boy.

Ya gotta love children's innocence. That reminds me of a day when my son (also bi-racial) was a baby and I was walking with him to somewhere, don't remember where. We passed by a little girl and she asked me if I was that baby's babysitter. :laugh: I just told her no, I'm his mother.

mommared53

My grandson, who was 3 at the time, got real serious one day and I could tell he was really really thinking about something. I asked him what it was and he got even more serious, looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, "Gramma, when I'm all grown up you will be dead".

I could tell that really was bothering him, so I said no I won't either, unless I get in an accident or get sick and that can happen to anybody. I told him that on his 18th birthday we would have a race down our driveway, which is really long, and whoever lost would buy dinner. That was good enough for him. Unfortunately, I had witnesses and I get harassed every birthday about the great race. It will happen next year. I guess I better get my chubby butt in gear. :laugh:

Love that!!! Give him a run for his money! :laugh: :flowerforyou:

fridayjustleft04

I was babysitting a 7 year old the other day and asked her if she wanted to go swimming. She looked at me and with a straight face said, "are you crazy? It's too damn hot!" It took everything I had not to laugh.