If you have kids....this is way off topic but thought I woul

mmuzzatti

OK, so last night at dinner we talked about kids and what they eat. Since I don't know any of you I can ask this. Do you have kids that only eat certain things or do you have kids that will try something before they say they don't like it or like it. Here's what happened...we had friends over for the weekend and they had their son with them. He is around 13 or 14 anyway, during dinner he ate nothing...we had pasta and salad and general food like that. After dinner the father took his son to Subway to get him something to eat because he did not like anything we had. I was a little pissed that this kid can control his parents that way. I let it go but I just am wondering if you out there have kids like that and am I wrong in thinking that this is wrong? My kids always tried what we had and to this day nothing you can put on the table will they turn away....maybe it's just me being my anal self but hey I thought I would ask.

OK, have a great day....just a rant to see who replies...take care!

Marcello

katapple

My kids are 3 and 5, and if it's something new that they have never had before, I make them eat one bite. If they truly don't like it I will get them something else. Most of the time they like it though. And if it's something they like and decided they don't want to eat it, they go hungry. At 13, they better damn well eat what I put in front of them or they will go hungry.

kernowprincess

It must have been very annoying for you. I have a fussy eater. She only eats "white food", i.e. potatoes, fish fingers, pasta, cheese, etc. She will not eat salads, vegetables apart from carrots. She is now 10 yrs old and weights in at around 4st. Not a healthy weight at all. We have struggled with this since she was about 2 yrs old. If we are going to friends/family for dinner, I explain her diet and offer to take food with me that she will eat that way no offence is caused.

corieueber

i wouldn't be driving him to subway to get something to eat - my boys are encouraged to try what's on their plate,as long as they have had at least one bite they have the choice of a simple sandwich (peanut butter etc), but luckily they are pretty good and will give just about everything a try.

Hananiah

Unfortunately there are kids who can control their parents. I don't have kids, but have foster siblings. My rule and my moms is that if you don't eat your food, you don't get desert. There are some one their first day who ask for a substitution, so it's a learned behavior.

martymum

Our boys will try anything and I mean anything, snails, octopus, goat etc. We have raised them to be open-minded and they are now copying my choices because they have not been forced into them. Our 11 year old boy now has cauliflower rice with his chilli and they both love rice-cakes and banana for a snack instead of crisps.

I am now a sahm but when they were small I worked nights and didn't have time to panda to fussy tastes. My sons friend is very fussy (at his own home) when my son went for a meal there this boy freaked out because his mum put a drop of gravy on his mash and refused to eat the meal. When he comes here for a meal he eats what he is given...because he knows I won't offer an alternative..hunger is a great motivator to a teenage belly.

So I agree with you and I would not give in to a child like that and had it been my son I would have been embarrassed and he would have gone hungry.

martyxxx

vodkaswigger

My mum lives in France and last year when my brother and his family visited her, his daughter who is 12 kicked up such a tantrum as she didnt like the food my mum prepared he drove her 80 miles to the nearest mcdonalds, i could not believe it, I would put my foot down, surely there is something the child would eat, i think some parents are too soft x

bethdris

Our boys are 16 months, 28 months and 4.5 yrs old. Our 2 little ones are in the picky phase, but I do put on their plates what rest are eating. Our 4.5 yr old must try what I make. I try not to make a big deal of it. I don't want them to have a bad relatiohship with food.

I would NOT be taking a 13 yr old to subway because he didn't eat at our friends house. He can wait till we get home.

cassiopeia1975

i have 4 children, my son is 15, eldest daughter is13 and younger daughters are 5yrs(twins) and a step son of 15 as well.

My 15 & 13 year olds will eat just about anything and love fruit veg salad etc their favorite meal is a sunday roast,

the younger two will eat any fruit and veg but are a bit picky with meat -- will only eat chicken, and they dont like things with sauce or gravy, they love rice but wont touch pasta no idea why im hoping they grow out of it.

My 15 yr old step son has a big appetite (he is 6ft 4 though) but doesnt eat vegetables except carrots and sweetcorn.

i normally cook two meals a day one for the younger ones as they eat earlier and then one for the older children and my partner & i, except on a sunday when we all eat together.

if im going to a friends for dinner with the younger ones then i usually take a selection of fruit and cheese and crackers & nuts with me so if they dont eat much of whatever is being made for them they have healthy things to snck on until i can get them something else. but the older ones either eat it or go hungry! I wouldnt take them to Subway or anywhere else for that matter, they could wait til we got home and then have a sandwich.

sarahpittaway

I got five and they are all fussy to different foods but since I have changed my food and lifestyle in general they now eat what they are given or wait till their next meal. I have switched from Low-fat milk to soya milk and from full fat butter to Pure Soya butter. I do not buy much frozen foods like Pizzas, nuggets and fish fingers. I make my own pizzas for them and well as make my own cakes . They have some choices but only healthy ones . It has worked on four of my children and they too correct me when I do have some sugary treat. Only one is fighting me by not eating. She will not have milk or butter but will have yogurts and other milk dairy products . It was because I eat fast food when my mother worked all day that I became fat and even fatter when I had the freedom to eat what I like when I left home. I am trying to teach them healthier choices as well as eating regularly and not late at night. Its done in school so why can we not do it at home. It is not a crime to be firm. They will come when they are truly hungry. We must all learn real hunger or we will just EAT ALL DAY cause we can unlike third world nations.

cartern1

In my opinion, when it come to food and food choices, caving in to a kids demands is a sure fire way to create an eating disorder/ bad habits which will plague them in later life.

orleansmith

I think it's sad. My cousin has a 3 year old and she had never had fresh fruit or veggies until they stayed with grandma while my cousin's husband was overseas. And the whole time, my cousin would say things like, "oh she won't eat that" and she only meant that SHE doesn't like it so her daughter has never had the chance to try it. But after seeing her mom not try things and SAY she won't like it, the little girl refuses to try anything!

On the other hand, my sister is very picky about what she eats but she and her husband give the kids all kind of different things to try and they love healthy stuff. My nephew is 2.5 years old and he gets to choose what he wants if we go out to eat and it's usually something good

homeport51

My kids were never fussy eaters, but that is because the house rule was try it. I understand that not everyone likes everything... I don't eat Cheerios... can't bear the smell of them... lol ... that being said, I wouldn't let it bother me about your friend's son. He is their problem. They created the monster and now they have to deal with the issues, i.e. going to subway because he wouldn't eat your dinner. 13 is a difficult age anyway.. raging hormones and all that. I would just let it go if I were you... so many more important things to stress over!

crazytxmom

That's tricky. I have 2 girls, 11 & 9. My 11 year old is willing to try anything and likes most everything she tries. My 9 year old will not. They were created by and raised by the same two parents will very different results.

However, in a situation like yours, I would have prepared & brought something I knew my 9 year old would eat. Perhaps I would have offered to bring beans to add to the meal. I also would have told you ahead of time (so you wouldn't be surprised NOT so you would change your menu).

Having a fussy-eater myself, I can see why the dad took the boy to get something to eat. After about the age of 3 you cannot force anything into a child's mouth. You can encourage, threaten, bribe, whatever, but it can snowball into a power struggle that the child will win or a child protective services case. And hungry children are more likely to act out and further ruin the evening.

As a parent I continue to cook new foods and offer them to her and every now & then she does try something new & likes it. I'm hopeful that as she realizes new things can be good, there will be more & more of those moments.

I hope I could shed a little light from the picky-eater's parents' side. They did not mean to offend you & were very likely embarrassed.

meggers123

All the kids in our family have a 2 bite rule with new foods (1 to try it, 1 to decide if they like it). Each of them has their own pickiness (no green veggies, or nothing on a bone, no egg yolk, etc), but overall they eat 3/4th of all food (even sushi, quinoa-spelling?, etc.).

It definitely is on the parents to encourage trying new things, and 13 is a bit old for this behavior BUT good for them that subway was his choice and not McD or something worse. I have worked with kids who only eat fast food/french fries, noodles with ketchup and white bread with nutella. Every day. No joke.

lilyinlove

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

ajbeans

A lot of kids are naturally picky. Mine are. But I insist that they try new foods before saying they don't like them. I think it's ridiculous to let a child that old be such a baby about food, and then to cave like that and take him out to eat when there's plenty of good food right in front of him.

The only exception I can think of, though, is if this child has legitimate problem like food allergies or a sensory issue. But if that were the case, I'm sure the parents would have explained that to you.

suzycreamcheese

my eldest and my youngest are good eaters and will try most things, but my middle son is very fussy and a lot of things he point blank refuses to even try.

If he doesnt eat what i make the others, he can have bread and butter. I wouldnt make or buy something different, although i will usually try and plan meals that they all like

MelissaL582

I have 3 kids- 6, 4 and 3. My husband and I were raised to eat what ever was on our plate. Food is not cheap and that's what we've taught and we're still teaching our kids. I personally think it's up to the parents to teach their kids to broaden their taste buds. My oldest wanted to bring his lunch to school, but in order for him to try new things..he needs to eat at school. We just don't believe in picky eaters. Now if it's something completely new to my kids they'll have a small amount on their plate. We also aren't the type of parents to make a separate trip somewhere because our children doesn't like something. This of course doesn't include children who have allergies, in this case..I would let the host know so they won't be offended and I would bring my child's "special" food (my youngest is allergic to peanuts, so I understand that).

Kelly_Wilson1990

My rule and the rule my children have adopted with my grandchildren is that you have to at least try the food. If you try it and do not like it that is different than just saying I do not like. We have all learn to try and most of the time like new foods. There are still somethings like green olives that I have tried several times over the years and do not like. Secondly, I would never be that rude at someone's home. The kid was old enough to leave home if that was the case. Shame on those parents for being so rude.

MelissaL582

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Way to go mom!

thibautseeker

My daughter is now 22 and there are things she doesn't like, mainly certain vegetables but every now and then she gives stuff she doesn't like a go to see if she does now - your taste buds change as you get older so your taste in foods do too.

Her boyfriend is a very fussy eater at home but when he eats with us he tries everything and so far the only thing he doesn't care for much is cauliflower. I grow some of my own vegetables now so when they are ready to pick and eat it's a case of everyone tries it because I'm excited that I've successfully grown it myself!

I don't believe in forcing kids to eat things they don't like, this can just lead to more extreme eating problems, but I do think encouraging them to try things first with the proviso of leave anything you don't like is a healthy way to go.

I'm also a firm believer in our bodies (or unconscious decision part of our brain), does know what it needs and if kids aren't stressed over eating they will usually choose and eat enough variety to stay healthy assuming they have good eating models from others around them.

kymarai

My kids,whether they were my own, my day care kids, or even now my grands, either eat what I fix or there is no dessert or snacks til next meal. If it is something new then I only give two bites worth, they can try it. My one daughter only eats chicken and venison for meats, she never has liked beef. Both my daughters are great veggie and fruit eaters. Two of my grand kids eat just about everything, though my oldest girl (8) doesn't like fried food, she likes it "naked". She and her brother eat all day with healthy snacking and are outside all the time. I hope they continue their healthy eating habits. The other two grands are really picky. They think I am grumpy because I make them eat what I fix. With that said, since they are grands and only visiting I do try to mainly fix what they will eat, with only one new thing. They have eaten great breakfasts after refusing to eat dinner.

Unfortunately in today's US culture, the kids rule more and more.

Andythefitfamilyman

My kids are 3 and 5, and if it's something new that they have never had before, I make them eat one bite. If they truly don't like it I will get them something else. Most of the time they like it though. And if it's something they like and decided they don't want to eat it, they go hungry. At 13, they better damn well eat what I put in front of them or they will go hungry.

My kids are the same and I feel the same, if there that old@ 13 they better eat.like hell I'm going to drive to subway

mmuzzatti

Really interesting comments...thanks for replying!

Enforcer25

Our kids are 8 and 10. They would probably eat chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese exclusively if we let them. They used to be picky eaters, but we slowly are getting them to try new things. The rule is they have to at least try it. They are getting better about eating more foods. I would not be driving to someplace else for them to eat, although I know parents who do that.

broken_star1134

I have two sons 3 y/o and almost 8 y/o. My youngest is great and tries anything and likes most of it. My oldest on the other hand is picky. He started with picky from the get go. When he ate his jars of baby food that have chunks in it, he didn't like the peas. If I gave him pea on accident, he would refuse to eat the rest of the jar thinking he would get another. Then when he started eating real foods, he did good and would eat meats, rice, whatever he was able to and we offered him. Then after a few months, he got picky again and would only eat cup of noodles for almost a year! I would offer other things and he would refuse them. Then I tried like people say "if he won't eat it, make him wait until the next meal" etc. But, he would just refuse to eat ALL day. He has always been on the tall skinny side so I couldn't let that go on long. When he finally started eating something else, it was chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds...without the skin. Yes, if I wanted him to eat them, I had to eat or pick the skin off them. He thankfully grew out of that stage after a few months and started eating the whole thing. He is still VERY picky. Won't eat meats besides chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Mcdonalds cheeseburgers. A few years ago my mother-in-law made us eggrolls and he tried them and loved them. He saw the meat and didn't want them after that but I told him it wasn't meat, it was "flavoring" and to this day, he is fine with it! He won't eat meat in hamburger helpers, sandwich meats, hotdogs (though did start with corndogs last month!), steak, regular chicken, etc. Over the past few months, he has gotten where he will try new things though. I have always told him to try something again because his taste buds are always changing and tell him how I didn't like things when I was younger but love them now. We just had something like what you experienced tonight with him. We went to a friends for dinner and I told him on the way there that it was going to be meat and he had to try it. To my surprise, he did try the fajita burrito I made him with two strips of chicken in it. He didn't like the chicken so I allowed him to take it off and he ate the rest but he did try it. He wants to stay the night at his friends house and I told him that when they make dinner, that is dinner. They will NOT make him something else. He asked if I could pack him a dinner! LOL Uh, NO! I will not do what your guests do though and leave to go buy him something. He will be told to eat the things not containing meats and if it's not enough, he can wait until we get home and have a pb&j sandwich. I think that is just rude of them. Especially when their son is so old. Eat or wait until you get home. Maybe that will change their minds and make them try something if they know you won't jump right then and there to get them something.

FunRun08

My kids are 3 & 4, they both know that they eat what they are given or they don't eat. If I cooked mac & cheese or we had pizza every night Im sure they would eat with less argument. My girls eat whole grain bread and love fruit and vegetables, because its been that way since they started on solid food. Not to say there havent been some rough patches but we solved that by having one rule. - If your not hungry then don't eat, but your not getting anything else and you have to sit nicely at the table till everyone else is done. When we are at other peoples houses I try to find things that I know they will like to avoid embarrassing the host or myself, but I remind the kids that this is your dinner and Im not cooking when we get home.

Im really not a crazy strict mom but food is one area where I am pretty strict I guess, my dh's family gives me grief about it all the time but there are all very overweight and unhealthy.... I just want to teach my girls healthy eating for real life.

sunyg

We have a few rules with dinner. You have to try it and if it has been awhile or I make it a different way, you have to try it again.
My 2nd rule is you have to finish your dinner before you get a treat. If you aren't hungry enough for dinner then you aren't hungry enough for dessert.

I have 4 kids. My oldest is the pickiest. I do not cater to her and she doesn't expect it. If we are somewhere and she doesn't like anything then she's more than welcome to come home and make her a pb&j. Her Mom won't do it for her. Same goes with dinner. You eat what I make or if you don't like it you can make something else.
However, I share custody with her father and her step siblings are catered too. They only like chicken nuggets or if they get pizza they have to get bread sticks for them because they won't eat pizza. So my oldest has started pulling the same thing over at her Dad's because he tries to hold our kids to the same standards for dinner while allowing his step children to do what ever. I've made it clear she will not get away with that here. Ever.

My 10 year old and 3 year old will eat just about anything. The baby so far will eat anything but he's too little to know.

FitRodr

My own kids are grown. If I put it on the table they normally ate it. If not, PB&J. No snacking after dinner. My 15 yr old step daughter is kinda picky but if we are at someones home she would make an attempt at the food. I would probably pick her up something on the way home. I am assuming of course that your guest has had pasta, salad & such before. However, I would not leave your home in the middle of a visit to get something for her. She'd have to wait until we are ready to go. For goodness sakes, they won't starve in a few short hours. If they are stayring for the weekend, well then it is the parents responsibllity to bring things along that he likes or at least let you know, so you can consider adjusting the menu a bit. Teens are hard but, you allow people to treat you the way they do. Yes, I would be frustrated but next time as the host I'd see if I could include something he might enjoy.

Kinda all over the place with that one because I know both sides. Bottom line eat what there is, ask for something different or you'll have to wait until something else comes along.

chezmama

I have two sons 3 y/o and almost 8 y/o. My youngest is great and tries anything and likes most of it. My oldest on the other hand is picky. He started with picky from the get go. When he ate his jars of baby food that have chunks in it, he didn't like the peas. If I gave him pea on accident, he would refuse to eat the rest of the jar thinking he would get another. Then when he started eating real foods, he did good and would eat meats, rice, whatever he was able to and we offered him. Then after a few months, he got picky again and would only eat cup of noodles for almost a year! I would offer other things and he would refuse them. Then I tried like people say "if he won't eat it, make him wait until the next meal" etc. But, he would just refuse to eat ALL day. He has always been on the tall skinny side so I couldn't let that go on long. When he finally started eating something else, it was chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds...without the skin. Yes, if I wanted him to eat them, I had to eat or pick the skin off them. He thankfully grew out of that stage after a few months and started eating the whole thing. He is still VERY picky. Won't eat meats besides chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Mcdonalds cheeseburgers. A few years ago my mother-in-law made us eggrolls and he tried them and loved them. He saw the meat and didn't want them after that but I told him it wasn't meat, it was "flavoring" and to this day, he is fine with it! He won't eat meat in hamburger helpers, sandwich meats, hotdogs (though did start with corndogs last month!), steak, regular chicken, etc. Over the past few months, he has gotten where he will try new things though. I have always told him to try something again because his taste buds are always changing and tell him how I didn't like things when I was younger but love them now. We just had something like what you experienced tonight with him. We went to a friends for dinner and I told him on the way there that it was going to be meat and he had to try it. To my surprise, he did try the fajita burrito I made him with two strips of chicken in it. He didn't like the chicken so I allowed him to take it off and he ate the rest but he did try it. He wants to stay the night at his friends house and I told him that when they make dinner, that is dinner. They will NOT make him something else. He asked if I could pack him a dinner! LOL Uh, NO! I will not do what your guests do though and leave to go buy him something. He will be told to eat the things not containing meats and if it's not enough, he can wait until we get home and have a pb&j sandwich. I think that is just rude of them. Especially when their son is so old. Eat or wait until you get home. Maybe that will change their minds and make them try something if they know you won't jump right then and there to get them something.

I would go with this approach.