If you have kids....this is way off topic but thought I woul

thibautseeker

My daughter is now 22 and there are things she doesn't like, mainly certain vegetables but every now and then she gives stuff she doesn't like a go to see if she does now - your taste buds change as you get older so your taste in foods do too.

Her boyfriend is a very fussy eater at home but when he eats with us he tries everything and so far the only thing he doesn't care for much is cauliflower. I grow some of my own vegetables now so when they are ready to pick and eat it's a case of everyone tries it because I'm excited that I've successfully grown it myself!

I don't believe in forcing kids to eat things they don't like, this can just lead to more extreme eating problems, but I do think encouraging them to try things first with the proviso of leave anything you don't like is a healthy way to go.

I'm also a firm believer in our bodies (or unconscious decision part of our brain), does know what it needs and if kids aren't stressed over eating they will usually choose and eat enough variety to stay healthy assuming they have good eating models from others around them.

kymarai

My kids,whether they were my own, my day care kids, or even now my grands, either eat what I fix or there is no dessert or snacks til next meal. If it is something new then I only give two bites worth, they can try it. My one daughter only eats chicken and venison for meats, she never has liked beef. Both my daughters are great veggie and fruit eaters. Two of my grand kids eat just about everything, though my oldest girl (8) doesn't like fried food, she likes it "naked". She and her brother eat all day with healthy snacking and are outside all the time. I hope they continue their healthy eating habits. The other two grands are really picky. They think I am grumpy because I make them eat what I fix. With that said, since they are grands and only visiting I do try to mainly fix what they will eat, with only one new thing. They have eaten great breakfasts after refusing to eat dinner.

Unfortunately in today's US culture, the kids rule more and more.

Andythefitfamilyman

My kids are 3 and 5, and if it's something new that they have never had before, I make them eat one bite. If they truly don't like it I will get them something else. Most of the time they like it though. And if it's something they like and decided they don't want to eat it, they go hungry. At 13, they better damn well eat what I put in front of them or they will go hungry.

My kids are the same and I feel the same, if there that old@ 13 they better eat.like hell I'm going to drive to subway

mmuzzatti

Really interesting comments...thanks for replying!

Enforcer25

Our kids are 8 and 10. They would probably eat chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese exclusively if we let them. They used to be picky eaters, but we slowly are getting them to try new things. The rule is they have to at least try it. They are getting better about eating more foods. I would not be driving to someplace else for them to eat, although I know parents who do that.

broken_star1134

I have two sons 3 y/o and almost 8 y/o. My youngest is great and tries anything and likes most of it. My oldest on the other hand is picky. He started with picky from the get go. When he ate his jars of baby food that have chunks in it, he didn't like the peas. If I gave him pea on accident, he would refuse to eat the rest of the jar thinking he would get another. Then when he started eating real foods, he did good and would eat meats, rice, whatever he was able to and we offered him. Then after a few months, he got picky again and would only eat cup of noodles for almost a year! I would offer other things and he would refuse them. Then I tried like people say "if he won't eat it, make him wait until the next meal" etc. But, he would just refuse to eat ALL day. He has always been on the tall skinny side so I couldn't let that go on long. When he finally started eating something else, it was chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds...without the skin. Yes, if I wanted him to eat them, I had to eat or pick the skin off them. He thankfully grew out of that stage after a few months and started eating the whole thing. He is still VERY picky. Won't eat meats besides chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Mcdonalds cheeseburgers. A few years ago my mother-in-law made us eggrolls and he tried them and loved them. He saw the meat and didn't want them after that but I told him it wasn't meat, it was "flavoring" and to this day, he is fine with it! He won't eat meat in hamburger helpers, sandwich meats, hotdogs (though did start with corndogs last month!), steak, regular chicken, etc. Over the past few months, he has gotten where he will try new things though. I have always told him to try something again because his taste buds are always changing and tell him how I didn't like things when I was younger but love them now. We just had something like what you experienced tonight with him. We went to a friends for dinner and I told him on the way there that it was going to be meat and he had to try it. To my surprise, he did try the fajita burrito I made him with two strips of chicken in it. He didn't like the chicken so I allowed him to take it off and he ate the rest but he did try it. He wants to stay the night at his friends house and I told him that when they make dinner, that is dinner. They will NOT make him something else. He asked if I could pack him a dinner! LOL Uh, NO! I will not do what your guests do though and leave to go buy him something. He will be told to eat the things not containing meats and if it's not enough, he can wait until we get home and have a pb&j sandwich. I think that is just rude of them. Especially when their son is so old. Eat or wait until you get home. Maybe that will change their minds and make them try something if they know you won't jump right then and there to get them something.

FunRun08

My kids are 3 & 4, they both know that they eat what they are given or they don't eat. If I cooked mac & cheese or we had pizza every night Im sure they would eat with less argument. My girls eat whole grain bread and love fruit and vegetables, because its been that way since they started on solid food. Not to say there havent been some rough patches but we solved that by having one rule. - If your not hungry then don't eat, but your not getting anything else and you have to sit nicely at the table till everyone else is done. When we are at other peoples houses I try to find things that I know they will like to avoid embarrassing the host or myself, but I remind the kids that this is your dinner and Im not cooking when we get home.

Im really not a crazy strict mom but food is one area where I am pretty strict I guess, my dh's family gives me grief about it all the time but there are all very overweight and unhealthy.... I just want to teach my girls healthy eating for real life.

sunyg

We have a few rules with dinner. You have to try it and if it has been awhile or I make it a different way, you have to try it again.
My 2nd rule is you have to finish your dinner before you get a treat. If you aren't hungry enough for dinner then you aren't hungry enough for dessert.

I have 4 kids. My oldest is the pickiest. I do not cater to her and she doesn't expect it. If we are somewhere and she doesn't like anything then she's more than welcome to come home and make her a pb&j. Her Mom won't do it for her. Same goes with dinner. You eat what I make or if you don't like it you can make something else.
However, I share custody with her father and her step siblings are catered too. They only like chicken nuggets or if they get pizza they have to get bread sticks for them because they won't eat pizza. So my oldest has started pulling the same thing over at her Dad's because he tries to hold our kids to the same standards for dinner while allowing his step children to do what ever. I've made it clear she will not get away with that here. Ever.

My 10 year old and 3 year old will eat just about anything. The baby so far will eat anything but he's too little to know.

FitRodr

My own kids are grown. If I put it on the table they normally ate it. If not, PB&J. No snacking after dinner. My 15 yr old step daughter is kinda picky but if we are at someones home she would make an attempt at the food. I would probably pick her up something on the way home. I am assuming of course that your guest has had pasta, salad & such before. However, I would not leave your home in the middle of a visit to get something for her. She'd have to wait until we are ready to go. For goodness sakes, they won't starve in a few short hours. If they are stayring for the weekend, well then it is the parents responsibllity to bring things along that he likes or at least let you know, so you can consider adjusting the menu a bit. Teens are hard but, you allow people to treat you the way they do. Yes, I would be frustrated but next time as the host I'd see if I could include something he might enjoy.

Kinda all over the place with that one because I know both sides. Bottom line eat what there is, ask for something different or you'll have to wait until something else comes along.

chezmama

I have two sons 3 y/o and almost 8 y/o. My youngest is great and tries anything and likes most of it. My oldest on the other hand is picky. He started with picky from the get go. When he ate his jars of baby food that have chunks in it, he didn't like the peas. If I gave him pea on accident, he would refuse to eat the rest of the jar thinking he would get another. Then when he started eating real foods, he did good and would eat meats, rice, whatever he was able to and we offered him. Then after a few months, he got picky again and would only eat cup of noodles for almost a year! I would offer other things and he would refuse them. Then I tried like people say "if he won't eat it, make him wait until the next meal" etc. But, he would just refuse to eat ALL day. He has always been on the tall skinny side so I couldn't let that go on long. When he finally started eating something else, it was chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds...without the skin. Yes, if I wanted him to eat them, I had to eat or pick the skin off them. He thankfully grew out of that stage after a few months and started eating the whole thing. He is still VERY picky. Won't eat meats besides chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Mcdonalds cheeseburgers. A few years ago my mother-in-law made us eggrolls and he tried them and loved them. He saw the meat and didn't want them after that but I told him it wasn't meat, it was "flavoring" and to this day, he is fine with it! He won't eat meat in hamburger helpers, sandwich meats, hotdogs (though did start with corndogs last month!), steak, regular chicken, etc. Over the past few months, he has gotten where he will try new things though. I have always told him to try something again because his taste buds are always changing and tell him how I didn't like things when I was younger but love them now. We just had something like what you experienced tonight with him. We went to a friends for dinner and I told him on the way there that it was going to be meat and he had to try it. To my surprise, he did try the fajita burrito I made him with two strips of chicken in it. He didn't like the chicken so I allowed him to take it off and he ate the rest but he did try it. He wants to stay the night at his friends house and I told him that when they make dinner, that is dinner. They will NOT make him something else. He asked if I could pack him a dinner! LOL Uh, NO! I will not do what your guests do though and leave to go buy him something. He will be told to eat the things not containing meats and if it's not enough, he can wait until we get home and have a pb&j sandwich. I think that is just rude of them. Especially when their son is so old. Eat or wait until you get home. Maybe that will change their minds and make them try something if they know you won't jump right then and there to get them something.

I would go with this approach.

chezmama

P.S. To me the issue is not about food and whether the child should be forced to eat what you prepared, etc. To me the issue is respect for the efforts of the hostess and all the trouble you went through to prepare a good meal. When I prepare a meal for others, I do so lovingly, as I am sure you do too. If people don't like what I prepare, that is fine...but I find it disrespectful to me as the hostess when they bring their own food to my house. I have some friends who have dietary restrictions who bring food to my house and while I understand and sympathize, there is a part of me that feels like "Why the heck did I even bother to go through all that trouble of making good food?" But I guess that's just me.

Brandi_Lee

I have 2 kids 5yrs and 15mths and I tell them the same thing my mom used to tell me "This is not a restaurant, you eat what put in front of you." I grew up with it and there very few thngs i don't like and now my kids are basically the same way. My son being only 15mths still fights me on his veggies but my 5yrs old eats anything I give her, I don't give her a choice. Maybe some people find it a little striked but it works for us.

dmbnj

My son is 7 and has always been picky. He will eat meat but not veggies and won't try new things, and at 7 I certainly cannot force him to eat. What I cook is for dinner and that's it. I would never go out of my way to make/buy something that he will eat. My daughter will try most things and choose to eat it or not. At least she's more willing to experiment.

ladylu11

My kids are in their 20's now, but when when they were younger and we were invited places I would find out the menu. The easiest way to do that is by offering to bring something.

I would tell my kids the menu in advance and tell them if they didn't like it to eat something before we left the house.

I would not be rude to a host/hostess or allow my kids to be, but I'm not going to make my kids eat something I knew they did not like.

prettyfitchick

I dont have kids but My mom rule was "Eat it or go hungry" and we survied. You would never tell one of my moms friends you didnt like what they cooked your best bet was to eat it anyway or simply say you already ate. I think saying you dont like someone else cooking without trying it is just plain rude.

livnlite

Personally, I am of the opionion that they don't have to like it .. but they do have to try it. I can't count on how many times, my kids turned their noses up at their plate because there was something on there they didn't recognize. Laterally, there were many times they actually were encouraged to try it .. and guess what .. they liked it. Pfffttt .. who'da thunk it?

Mentoring a child is a full time job...and it includes what goes on at the dinner table. If kids are allowed to have their own way all the time, they miss out on so much, socially, physically, emotionally and even nutritionally. If a child becomes accustomed to experimentation they learn the skills of how to make an informed decision, especially when it comes to food choices, like and dislikes. This has more to do with control than you realize. If they are allowed to stick with what they know, at their own comfort level the rate that they grow physiologically is severely hampered. The parents are the ones that are supposed to be in control of helping to form a young mind and acceptable behaviour.

In this case, this child was blatently allowed to be rude as a guest in someone else's home. So, in my books, those parents failed that child in 2 ways. This is behaviour is not the child's fault.

My 2 cents.

Mad_Dog_Muscle

Our son is nearly 6 and is somewhat of a picky eater... he likes Turkey Hot dogs... no bun, just the hot dog, and he prefers the Jenni-O turkey dogs. Yes, if you try to give him anther brand or a beef hot dog, he will smell it before he eats it!! He likes chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a and or the store bought Tyson Chicken nuggets. He does not like McDonalds, probably because he has NEVER had anything from McD's. We never go there so this explains that. He likes grilled cheese, french fries (but only from certain places) and various limited things he will ask for. We have been getting him to try other foods if he has not had it before, even if he has had it before such as certain veggies, we get him to have a bite or 2. He does like carrots and strawberries.
On the bright side, he does not like any typical junk food, ok other than tortilla chips.... and thats the ONLY kind he likes. We dont push any others on him.
He does not even want to touch cake, ice cream, candy, chocolate... nothing, nada, zip, zero! He only drinks water, you cant force a fruit drink down him..... and we never try. Now that he is in elementary school, he may eventually figure out the he wants to try other bad foods but for now we dont harrass him too much.
If we go over to a friends house we may bring him food to eat. I can promise you we would NEVER drive 80 miles to a McDonalds or Chick-fil-A if we dont have what he wants. He can either eat whats available or he can wait until we get home.

As the OP mentioned, you dont have kids, but when you do you can figure out all of this fun on your own and decide how to handle it.
A 13 year old though?? No way would I drive my 13 yr old to Subway. He is old enough to eat Pasta and salad. Too frickin bad! I want all of you to remind me I said this in 7 years when my kid is 13! lol

cat3nv

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Make that 2 of us! I have a 13 tr old boy and 11 and 6 yr old girls. My kiddos are picky about stuff they think they do not like. I do not tell them what is in what I have made. They tell me how wonderful it is, then I say well guess what that was spinach, or there were tons of onions in that. They have come to expect I am sneaky.

I do not believe we should let our children have a tantrum if they do not like the food made for them. I too am not a short order cook. They will eat what I make or go hungry. If they are truly starving they will eat. They pick out their breakfast, I ask them what they want in their lunch boxes. We eat supper as a family and they will eat what they get or go without.

Clearly the problem this young person has is one his parents made and he will have to overcome as an adult. He has not been taught proper manners. You invited him and his parents over for supper. You made something, you put time, love, and thoughtfulness into it. For his father to think it was ok to take him somewhere else because he did not like what he was served is horrible! Hopefully his father had the good sense not to bring the subway sandwich back to your house.

messyinthekitchen

Yes I have a kid who is like that, he just turned two. Sometimes it can still be pretty hard to rationalize with a 2 year old, but I have him try one bite and if he doesn't like it he can have something else. If he doesn't try it, then he get's nothing else. He's learned his lesson at two what a shame their 14 year old son hasn't. Wait....??? That's because they've never gave him a lesson to learn. It's rather pathetic and ignorant on their part to take their son somewhere to eat and not only does he not eat it they then take him to eat something else. WOW. This isn't the kids fault it's theirs. You had right to be annoyed.

leynak

I don't have more than one dinner at my house. If I make something I know my kids really hate (usually veggies) I just make a different veggie for them. If they don't want to eat that's fine- I won't force them but they don't get anything else. My kids are still young so hopefully doing this now will make their behavior better than your example by the time they are that age.

When I was young if I was a guest in someone's house I ate what they gave me even when they told me I didn't have to if I didn't like it.