If you have kids....this is way off topic but thought I woul

chezmama

P.S. To me the issue is not about food and whether the child should be forced to eat what you prepared, etc. To me the issue is respect for the efforts of the hostess and all the trouble you went through to prepare a good meal. When I prepare a meal for others, I do so lovingly, as I am sure you do too. If people don't like what I prepare, that is fine...but I find it disrespectful to me as the hostess when they bring their own food to my house. I have some friends who have dietary restrictions who bring food to my house and while I understand and sympathize, there is a part of me that feels like "Why the heck did I even bother to go through all that trouble of making good food?" But I guess that's just me.

Brandi_Lee

I have 2 kids 5yrs and 15mths and I tell them the same thing my mom used to tell me "This is not a restaurant, you eat what put in front of you." I grew up with it and there very few thngs i don't like and now my kids are basically the same way. My son being only 15mths still fights me on his veggies but my 5yrs old eats anything I give her, I don't give her a choice. Maybe some people find it a little striked but it works for us.

dmbnj

My son is 7 and has always been picky. He will eat meat but not veggies and won't try new things, and at 7 I certainly cannot force him to eat. What I cook is for dinner and that's it. I would never go out of my way to make/buy something that he will eat. My daughter will try most things and choose to eat it or not. At least she's more willing to experiment.

ladylu11

My kids are in their 20's now, but when when they were younger and we were invited places I would find out the menu. The easiest way to do that is by offering to bring something.

I would tell my kids the menu in advance and tell them if they didn't like it to eat something before we left the house.

I would not be rude to a host/hostess or allow my kids to be, but I'm not going to make my kids eat something I knew they did not like.

prettyfitchick

I dont have kids but My mom rule was "Eat it or go hungry" and we survied. You would never tell one of my moms friends you didnt like what they cooked your best bet was to eat it anyway or simply say you already ate. I think saying you dont like someone else cooking without trying it is just plain rude.

livnlite

Personally, I am of the opionion that they don't have to like it .. but they do have to try it. I can't count on how many times, my kids turned their noses up at their plate because there was something on there they didn't recognize. Laterally, there were many times they actually were encouraged to try it .. and guess what .. they liked it. Pfffttt .. who'da thunk it?

Mentoring a child is a full time job...and it includes what goes on at the dinner table. If kids are allowed to have their own way all the time, they miss out on so much, socially, physically, emotionally and even nutritionally. If a child becomes accustomed to experimentation they learn the skills of how to make an informed decision, especially when it comes to food choices, like and dislikes. This has more to do with control than you realize. If they are allowed to stick with what they know, at their own comfort level the rate that they grow physiologically is severely hampered. The parents are the ones that are supposed to be in control of helping to form a young mind and acceptable behaviour.

In this case, this child was blatently allowed to be rude as a guest in someone else's home. So, in my books, those parents failed that child in 2 ways. This is behaviour is not the child's fault.

My 2 cents.

Mad_Dog_Muscle

Our son is nearly 6 and is somewhat of a picky eater... he likes Turkey Hot dogs... no bun, just the hot dog, and he prefers the Jenni-O turkey dogs. Yes, if you try to give him anther brand or a beef hot dog, he will smell it before he eats it!! He likes chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a and or the store bought Tyson Chicken nuggets. He does not like McDonalds, probably because he has NEVER had anything from McD's. We never go there so this explains that. He likes grilled cheese, french fries (but only from certain places) and various limited things he will ask for. We have been getting him to try other foods if he has not had it before, even if he has had it before such as certain veggies, we get him to have a bite or 2. He does like carrots and strawberries.
On the bright side, he does not like any typical junk food, ok other than tortilla chips.... and thats the ONLY kind he likes. We dont push any others on him.
He does not even want to touch cake, ice cream, candy, chocolate... nothing, nada, zip, zero! He only drinks water, you cant force a fruit drink down him..... and we never try. Now that he is in elementary school, he may eventually figure out the he wants to try other bad foods but for now we dont harrass him too much.
If we go over to a friends house we may bring him food to eat. I can promise you we would NEVER drive 80 miles to a McDonalds or Chick-fil-A if we dont have what he wants. He can either eat whats available or he can wait until we get home.

As the OP mentioned, you dont have kids, but when you do you can figure out all of this fun on your own and decide how to handle it.
A 13 year old though?? No way would I drive my 13 yr old to Subway. He is old enough to eat Pasta and salad. Too frickin bad! I want all of you to remind me I said this in 7 years when my kid is 13! lol

cat3nv

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Make that 2 of us! I have a 13 tr old boy and 11 and 6 yr old girls. My kiddos are picky about stuff they think they do not like. I do not tell them what is in what I have made. They tell me how wonderful it is, then I say well guess what that was spinach, or there were tons of onions in that. They have come to expect I am sneaky.

I do not believe we should let our children have a tantrum if they do not like the food made for them. I too am not a short order cook. They will eat what I make or go hungry. If they are truly starving they will eat. They pick out their breakfast, I ask them what they want in their lunch boxes. We eat supper as a family and they will eat what they get or go without.

Clearly the problem this young person has is one his parents made and he will have to overcome as an adult. He has not been taught proper manners. You invited him and his parents over for supper. You made something, you put time, love, and thoughtfulness into it. For his father to think it was ok to take him somewhere else because he did not like what he was served is horrible! Hopefully his father had the good sense not to bring the subway sandwich back to your house.

messyinthekitchen

Yes I have a kid who is like that, he just turned two. Sometimes it can still be pretty hard to rationalize with a 2 year old, but I have him try one bite and if he doesn't like it he can have something else. If he doesn't try it, then he get's nothing else. He's learned his lesson at two what a shame their 14 year old son hasn't. Wait....??? That's because they've never gave him a lesson to learn. It's rather pathetic and ignorant on their part to take their son somewhere to eat and not only does he not eat it they then take him to eat something else. WOW. This isn't the kids fault it's theirs. You had right to be annoyed.

leynak

I don't have more than one dinner at my house. If I make something I know my kids really hate (usually veggies) I just make a different veggie for them. If they don't want to eat that's fine- I won't force them but they don't get anything else. My kids are still young so hopefully doing this now will make their behavior better than your example by the time they are that age.

When I was young if I was a guest in someone's house I ate what they gave me even when they told me I didn't have to if I didn't like it.

craft338

i was always taught to eat whatever's on the table, and ESPECIALLY when i was at someone else's house! NEVER be picky! but my parents were strict italians, and even though me and my sister are adults now, people are STILL impressed by the amount of respect that we have for people.

but i've been working with children for years, and every year i see the kids getting more and more spoiled by their parents, to the point where the parents are complete slaves to their children.

it's really sad and yes, i do think there's something wrong with it.

sexforjaffacakes

at 13/14 that is ridiculous, at that age he SHOULD be mature enough to just eat what's put in front of him. If he really hates it get some other food in the house, to have to drive out to subway is abseloutely RIDICULOUS just cuz hes too fussy to eat normal food. Plus that's really unhealthy, subway is a take away just like anywhere else.

lilyinlove

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Way to go mom!

Thanks.

lilyinlove

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Make that 2 of us! I have a 13 tr old boy and 11 and 6 yr old girls. My kiddos are picky about stuff they think they do not like. I do not tell them what is in what I have made. They tell me how wonderful it is, then I say well guess what that was spinach, or there were tons of onions in that. They have come to expect I am sneaky.

I do not believe we should let our children have a tantrum if they do not like the food made for them. I too am not a short order cook. They will eat what I make or go hungry. If they are truly starving they will eat. They pick out their breakfast, I ask them what they want in their lunch boxes. We eat supper as a family and they will eat what they get or go without.

Clearly the problem this young person has is one his parents made and he will have to overcome as an adult. He has not been taught proper manners. You invited him and his parents over for supper. You made something, you put time, love, and thoughtfulness into it. For his father to think it was ok to take him somewhere else because he did not like what he was served is horrible! Hopefully his father had the good sense not to bring the subway sandwich back to your house.

YAY...another mean mom... well in some peoples eyes.

lynn1982

Two of my cousin's kids are super picky eaters, but the youngest one is not. When the two oldest were little, my cousin's wife used to chase them around with food at family events and force them to eat it. It was always an awful battle to watch and meant that she and my cousin couldn't enjoy themselves. She started feeding them before family dinners since they refused to eat anything but plain white pasta, ketchup, and coke. (She would hide veggies and things in sauces made with ketchup, etc. at home.) They would play quietly in the other room until dessert, when she would offer them fruit. Now that they're a bit older, she forces them to eat at other people's houses. The youngest one will anything and everything you put in front of him, which has helped with the two oldest since they see their younger brother eating new foods and being generally agreeable.

I do think some kids are just incredibly picky eaters and maybe it's somewhat expected in our society. As a kid, I grew up eating whatever my parents ate. I remember being at a family friend's house and being upset that the adults were eating chili while the kids had to eat hot dogs. The hosts were shocked when my mother handed me a bowl of chili. (Maybe that's a similar situation, just with roles reversed, where I refused to eat the kid's meal?)

It sounds like the parents of this kid should have at the very least offered to bring a dish that their kid would eat. Taking the kid out for food after a full meal was just served to him is ridiculous and sets him up for a life of entitlement...

StaceyL76

I am with you 100%.

M_lifts

I must be the meanest mom around, I cook all my food fresh and the Twins of 4 and my 12 year old must eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. My home is not a hotel nor am I a short order cook. They may choose their breakfast and their lunch, but that is as nice as I get.

Our little one(22) has a bit more choice, but always on my terms.

Make that 2 of us! I have a 13 tr old boy and 11 and 6 yr old girls. My kiddos are picky about stuff they think they do not like. I do not tell them what is in what I have made. They tell me how wonderful it is, then I say well guess what that was spinach, or there were tons of onions in that. They have come to expect I am sneaky.

I do not believe we should let our children have a tantrum if they do not like the food made for them. I too am not a short order cook. They will eat what I make or go hungry. If they are truly starving they will eat. They pick out their breakfast, I ask them what they want in their lunch boxes. We eat supper as a family and they will eat what they get or go without.

Clearly the problem this young person has is one his parents made and he will have to overcome as an adult. He has not been taught proper manners. You invited him and his parents over for supper. You made something, you put time, love, and thoughtfulness into it. For his father to think it was ok to take him somewhere else because he did not like what he was served is horrible! Hopefully his father had the good sense not to bring the subway sandwich back to your house.

YAY...another mean mom... well in some peoples eyes.

i dont think you are mean, just practical and instilling good behavious. I agree with pandering to picky children they will become picky adults! My hubby was a picky eater when we first met, to an extent still is. HIs mum gave in when he was a kid to all his demands. When he first met- he wouldnt eat anything that wasnt your usual fish and chips, cottage pie i.e anything english. Introducing curries (as im indian) was hard work! But then i had to act up and state that if he didnt eat my food he knew where the door was! Now he is a changed man and eats everything. do i blame his mum, sure i do!

My daughter is 2.5yrs and has milk allergies so eating out is always an issue. if we are invited to someone's house i either prepare food for her or make sure the hosts/ restaurants are aware. She can be picky but if she's only picking at her food i do not pander to that behaviour and she knows that she will either miss dessert or go hungry. I dont let her starve but you get the idea. Its still an issue with veggies with both my hubby and daughter but like you ladies im sneaky and it will all go in and they wont have a clue that its in! just need a blender and hey presto! lol

at 13 years old, my child had better eat or starve. no way would i tolerate that behaviour!

hermanaamber

I must be old fashioned! We have 35 kids and when we have a meal each child is served everything made. The smaller kids or the new kids are served a very small portion of each thing. If they choose not to eat, there's no fuss. Their plate is put in the refrigerator and it is served again at the next meal. It works! No snacking, our kids eat very well and in this way we can rest assured each one of our kids are getting very balanced meals. Our five-year-olds decided the other day they didn't want to eat oatmeal for breakfast, so their bowls were put in the refrigerator, when lunch time came at 11, we were serving hamburgers. My husband and I had forgotten the oatmeal in the fridge. Our little Wendy brought me her bowl and Juanito's to ask me to warm them. They ate their oatmeal right down and still had room for a half a burger each.

Johnnyswife

OK, so last night at dinner we talked about kids and what they eat. Since I don't know any of you I can ask this. Do you have kids that only eat certain things or do you have kids that will try something before they say they don't like it or like it. Here's what happened...we had friends over for the weekend and they had their son with them. He is around 13 or 14 anyway, during dinner he ate nothing...we had pasta and salad and general food like that. After dinner the father took his son to Subway to get him something to eat because he did not like anything we had. I was a little pissed that this kid can control his parents that way. I let it go but I just am wondering if you out there have kids like that and am I wrong in thinking that this is wrong? My kids always tried what we had and to this day nothing you can put on the table will they turn away....maybe it's just me being my anal self but hey I thought I would ask.

OK, have a great day....just a rant to see who replies...take care!

Marcello

My step daughter is just like that too, but only with her Dad. He's actualy gone and gotten her something to eat cause she refused to eat what was there. Her mom is all about tough love and makes her try stuff so she eats a lot more varity with her mom, but Daddy lets her do whatever she wants and she does. lol

bachooka

My kidlets are 2, 3, and 4. They eat what I give them, because that is what there is to eat. There is no alternative. I also don't force them to clean their plates because that is just teaching them bad eating habits. Now granted there are foods that they might just not like. My four year old HATES eggs. She gags on them. So for that she just has to try one bite and then she doesn't have to eat anymore of it.

There is no way is HELL I would drive my child (especially a teenager) to get something else to eat when my host had worked hard to prepare a meal for my family. That is rude and ridiculous... I pity that child when he meets the real world.

Rae6503

My kids are 4,3 and 1. They eat pretty much anything but Asian food (which makes me sad) and really spicy food. I don't cook or buy alternate foods if they don't like dinner.

juliekin

I have 3 kids. All were raised to try a wide variety of cuisines, fresh fruits and vegetables. My middle child won't eat textural foods. I tried everything before going to a counselor, pediatric specialist, psychiatrist, and researchers. Turned out it's autism related and speech related. He physically can't eat pasta, rice, sauce, gravy, dressing, beans, etc. But I would NEVER go out to Subway when at someone else's house. It's incredibly rude in terms of friendship and parenting. I'd give him an apple or something before we left so he wouldn't starve and find something on the table for him to at least try. Most of my friends know his issue, so expect this. The rest of the familt gets what is on the table.

BostonGrammy

Wow, they actually left your house and went to Subway Those parents need a wakeup call-that kid is going to have real food issues when he gets a little older.

I taught my kids to eat what was put in front of them at other peoples homes whether they liked it or not.

At home, they were allowed to not eat what they didn't like, but I did strongly request that they at least try everything.

veganbaum

You know, until food became as varied as it is now, packaged stuff was created as it is now, food became as plentiful in first world countries as it is now, and there was the marketing there is with food now, I doubt there was such a thing as a "picky" eater. Seems to me that the average kid at least seventy five and more years ago would have eaten what was put in front of them, and been grateful for it. Glad to see so many parents who at least make their kids try everything, and don't give in to the short order cook type of role.

Ireshgurl

I was the fussy eater growing up and still am, lol. However, my parents did not pander to my pickyness. It was either eat what was in front of me, or don't eat at all. On top of that, if i didn't finish what i ate, then i definately didn't get dinner..... if your too full to finish dinner, your too full to get dessert. I was the same way with my kid as my parents where with me. As a picky eater when my kid got old enough he would always ask me how come he had to eat this, that and the other and i would always tell him because i'm an adult now and can make my own choices, and until he is, he'll eat what's put in front of him, lol. He usually will atleast try something before saying no, and i'm glad that he's not a picky eater like me!!

Scorpiomom222

OK, so last night at dinner we talked about kids and what they eat. Since I don't know any of you I can ask this. Do you have kids that only eat certain things or do you have kids that will try something before they say they don't like it or like it. Here's what happened...we had friends over for the weekend and they had their son with them. He is around 13 or 14 anyway, during dinner he ate nothing...we had pasta and salad and general food like that. After dinner the father took his son to Subway to get him something to eat because he did not like anything we had. I was a little pissed that this kid can control his parents that way. I let it go but I just am wondering if you out there have kids like that and am I wrong in thinking that this is wrong? My kids always tried what we had and to this day nothing you can put on the table will they turn away....maybe it's just me being my anal self but hey I thought I would ask.

OK, have a great day....just a rant to see who replies...take care!

Marcello

Okay, seriously, it's the parents' fault because they let their kid be this way. It's HORRIBLE manners to refuse the food that's put in front of you unless you're allergic or are vegetarian. Of course, if you are either of those, you're not going to be resistant to ALL the food in front of you. RUDE! And it's the parents' fault.

nerdyandilikeit

My kids are 3 and 5, and if it's something new that they have never had before, I make them eat one bite. If they truly don't like it I will get them something else. Most of the time they like it though. And if it's something they like and decided they don't want to eat it, they go hungry. At 13, they better damn well eat what I put in front of them or they will go hungry.

My mom always made us have 2 bites. One because she said so (and to get it over with), and a second one to actually taste it and see if we liked it.

At 13, they should have to eat what they're given as a guest in someone's house, or go hungry. That's just silly. And I think that about my 12 year old (almost 13) cousin that will cry over eating one bite of peas at the dinner table. It drives me crazy.

mtc1971

I agree with most everyone here. If they don't like what's on the table, they bloody well better use the manners they were taught(or should have been) & keep their mouths shut & wait for the PB&J when they get home. I'm not fixing it either. At 13, that is WAY spoiled. His parents should be ashamed of themselves.

mags2504

My kids eat their tea or don't eat their tea but they get nothing else.Seems to have worked for me. We went to a friends house for tea a few weeks ago. My son who is 15 will eat anything so wasn't worried, my daughter who is 11 isn't too bad but i told her to eat whether she liked the food or not. Bless her she ate the lot. She hates meringue but she ate every mouthfull of pavlova that was put in front of her. Was well pleased with her.

crisanderson27

My kids eat what they're fed, or they don't eat. I would never feed them something that would hurt them...and missing one meal never killed anyone. I would NEVER feed my child something special as a reward after they had disrespected our host in such a way. IF however, they did their best, and tried...politely taking bites of everything without complaint...I would probably give them something nice for a snack later...to reward the polite behavior.

Also...that being said...I DO take note of what they say they don't like...and might adjust portion amounts...or how often we eat it at later meals.

All in all...because of this, my kids eat a pretty well rounded diet, without complaint...and genuinely like things most kids don't.