Reality Show - Big Sexy

jonbobfrog

I'll admit it: I'm losing weight partially because of society. I was chubby my whole life but then in high school I lost a bunch of weight and I loved the way it changed people's opinion of me and how they treated me. I'm bipolar and my self-esteem has never been great, and that was probably the best string of years I've had since I was a kid.

After I gained all the weight, it kind of went down hill. I spent a little bit of time rapid cycling, which made it a little bit hard to care because I was sort of . . . attempting to not kill myself . . . but now that I've stabilized I realize how much better I felt about myself before I gained the weight.

So, I'm losing it.

iamrobyn

Being bigger and sexy is an interesting topic for me this week. I can honestly say that for the first time in few years I have started to feel a little bit sexier in my skin. I know that this is 100% due to my serious attempt at improving my health. I feel better about how I am taking care of my body. I changed my hair to a new color last week and threw in a couple color extensions. For the first time I feel comfortable drawing a little bit of attention to myself. I still have a long way to go in terms of getting healthy, but I feel better about how I am taking care of myself and I think that is coming through when I look at myself in the mirror, and when people look at me.

Several people have written about being limited to Lane Bryant and the Avenue. I do feel that these companies have tried to make their looks more modern but often I think the designs, styles, and patterns just aren't flattering. I long for the days where the other 95% of the mall is approachable to me.

The main reason that I need to drop weight is my health, no questions, but I also know that I'm seriously over the social aspects of being heavy. I wanted to cry for these ladies when I saw how they were treated while trying to get into a night club. That particular thing hasn't happened to me but other things have. I don't know how they can honestly maintain the level of confidence they claim to have when they have to endure moments like what I saw in the first episode. There are some scenarios where being my being overweight impacts others and makes them uncomfortable, and then there other scenarios where people just like to make you feel uncomfortable for being overweight. When I was healthier I traveled 100% for work. While walking down the airplane aisle in my head I could hear seated passengers silently praying that I wasn’t about to sit next to them, and honestly I have to say that I can understand why they would not want to share their small airline space with me. On the flip side of that, I know my most embarrassing 'fat' moment was when I waited in line with a group of friends for 30 minutes to ride a ride at the top of the Stratosphere hotel in Vegas only to determine I was too fat to be belted in. As I walked away a bunch of people laughed. Can you really keep your confidence that high while facing these kinds of challenges? I’m just not sure it’s sincerely possible. It might be possible to assemble some form of confidence to get on a reality show but to truly have it in your heart, I don’t think so.

As I write this I am watching the 2nd episode. Already one of the girls is concerned about losing weight for her modeling job and is seeking the advice of a doctor. I’m fairly certain that all of them would fall into the morbidly obese category (along with myself). If these ladies get checked out and have no health issues, then flaunt it if you really want but I don't really think the numbers (medically speaking) will be on their side. I’ll be watching to see what happens.

SabrinaJL

For my health. I'm 34 and have been on bp meds since my early 20's. It's ridiculous. My mom never took care of herself and died of a heart attack at 46. I don't want that to be me. Also, I don't want to be limited in what I can do because of my weight. For example, my husband and I went to a quaint little mountain town for our 16th anniversary. I wanted to go horseback riding but the weight limit was 200 lbs. That sucked.

Becca_007

I always wonder if these women are truly comfortable in their skin.

I am one who will not be scrutinized about my body by the media. I will not try to look like Kim K just because that's all I see all over the magazines and such. So on that, I see the point of being comfortable in MY skin. I am tall, I have hips, I have small/medium boobs, not much of a booty, but I my legs. Within those elements, I will be comfortable but when you're hauling around an extra 40-100lbs (or more) there is NOTHING comfortable about it. You cannot keep up during certain activities. You are threatened each time you go for a check up because of cholesterol, blood pressure, glucose levels etc. You sometimes have a hard time fitting in rollercoaster seats, airplane seats, go carts, etc.
What is comfortable about that?

I fear that these women might think that they will never change because they're can't... but we all know that's not the truth. We can change. You just have to want it bad enough.

newaustinite:flowerforyou: Love your attitude about yourself , not feeling you need to compromise to advertising, society's ideals about the Female body etc.