The significant other

TrishJimenez

Anyone else have a significant other who is not on this healthy lifestyle journey with you? How is it affecting your efforts? I have noticed that when I spend a day off with mine that my choices are not as good as I would have liked, though still better then they were before I made the change. And it really frustrates me. I do just fine when I am just on my own or it is just me and my kids, partly bcuz I have tried to teach my children healthy eating habits since birth and well it is just easier. How do you deal with it? I know I cant force my lifestyle changes on him. But he calls me a party pooper if I don't want to go out for frozen yogurt with him. Or he doesnt want to eat the healthy dinner I make for me and the kids (he thinks vegetables are the enemy and I am trying to kill him lol) so he orders a pizza. Yes I know, it is like the say no to drugs campaign "Just Say No" It calls my name in the middle of the night. So my solution is to not have it in the house. Grrrrrrrrrr

billsica

Set a good example. Don't push them. just deal with it the best you can. I don't really have a good answer.

sorrelduncan

I feed the fam things I don't eat all the time! It's a shame he doesn't always support you, but it's your diet, not his. Maybe someday he'll try it, but I don't feel I need to force a change on my family in order to accomplish it myself. I just make myself a salad.

theberg

Since I do most of the cooking she doesn't have much choice :-D

Hanna82

it's really tough. my boyfriend is one of those people who can eat anything he wants and never gains weight and never will. i know it's frustrating but the thing you have to realize is that this is your journey and you can't expect anyone else to understand. just don't get discouraged. but also, don't exclude yourself because of the choices you're making now. if your family wants to go out for frozen yogurt then go with them but make the choice to not eat it or get a healthy option or just pig out. i know it's not easy and not fair but it's the nature of the beast.

sc1572

Not a sig. other, but my friends! I just try to stick to my morals and not let them affect me.

hollybug26

I was just thinking about this last night! My hubby is not on the same track as I am either. In fact he likes to sit and eat pizza or ice cream and watch me work out! He will eat the healthy dinners I make but then go get fast food after the kids go to bed. When we are out it can sometimes be hard but for the most part I always choose the healthier stuff. But it is frustrating, I would love him to get healthy to. He says all the work is not worth it to him. That he would rather have the "fat-food" .

Mommyof3loves

Yeah I hear you, my husband constantly laughs and makes fun of me with counting calories and worries about what I am eating. I have gotten to the point of ignoring it. Though I don't have the same problem where he'll order something cause he doesn't like what I make. Just keep doing what you are doing and set the good example for your kids. Good luck

jmelyan23

I'm married to the pickiest man in the world so I finally had to tell myself that he will never eat like I do and how my daughter eats, so I'm just going to have to disregard his choices. It takes a lot of sheer will power to watch him eat fries and drink soda and not do it too. It took a long time as well for him to come to terms with how important weight loss is to me so he finally has become a supporter instead of a hindrance and tries to eat unhealthy when we're not together and tries the meals I make at least once before he asks for something else.

Maybe if you explain to him that it's hard to do this with temptations in your house and you're really trying hard to do better?

JessicaMarie9382

I dont have a sig other either, but my friend for sure aren't in to the calorie counting/healthy eating lifestyle I've adopted. I just remember how great I feel when I see the scale going down!

JessicaMarie9382

I dont have a sig other either, but my friend for sure aren't in to the calorie counting/healthy eating lifestyle I've adopted. I just remember how great I feel when I see the scale going down!

brandi150

my husband hates eating healthy too. so he has to either eat what i cook or make something for himself. after a while he started eating what i ate because he was starving. every once in a while i will make something just for him that is not "healthy" but i just make enough for him so i am not tempted. also, we have a rule, if he brings junk into the house it HAS to be something i don't like or don't prefer. he's lost 30 pounds so far without even wanting to..LO

megz4987

Occasionally it effects me but only when I let it.
What I eat is up to me, no one else.

skinnyjeanzbound

My husband doesn't need to lose any weight, but he cooks dinner most nights in our house. When I started this change, I simply told him that I won't be able to eat anything super unhealthy and any higher calroie meaks need to fit into my overall day. He has been pretty good about warning me when he plans to make steak or pasta or something that I need to "save up" for. If I know I'm having something higher calorie for dinner I will make sure to eat lighter earlier in the day and paln my higher burn exercise for that day. He has also made an effort to make healthier versions of some his favorites. For example, he made chili the other day and he used a lot a vegetables and adjusted the beans to meat ratio to make it lower calorie. He's also been better about keeping track of what he puts into the dishes so I can accurately enter it into my food diary. I am fortunate that the kinds of junk food he likes are not the foods I crave. He likes pizza and french fries which I can either resist or eat in moderation since they aren't my weakness. If he wanted to keep cake and ice cream in the house, THEN we'd have a problem LOL!

LoveHoodies

I cook healthy but he won't eat any of it. He only eats out at restaurants and although he has a gym membership, has not gone once in several years.

He keeps getting bigger, and perhaps I am an awful person, but I just don't find him attractive anymore Anybody else experience that? I was never overweight, but have been putting more an effort into eating better and keeping healthy as I get older and it frustrates me that he doesn't even try.

jwaters1006

My husband is actually trying to gain weight so we eat pretty different diets. To me it's actually easier because instead of making 2 dinners we have been preparing our own meals. On the other hand on some nights we make 1 main dish and eat different sides. He eats Long John Silvers at least once a week, I drink the diet soda that comes with his meal and he waits to eat while I whip together dinner. Clowly but surely though he is eating more and more of what I eat. Tonight I made meatloaf half hamburger/half turkey, he told me he couldn't really tell the difference

kacbldmm07

Yes, yes, oh and yes. My husband tried for two days lol but he couldnt do it. I did not push, I am letting him do as he wants. But our issue is when he gets on to me about my choices. Telling me I am not eating enough, and such. I remind him just because im not eating cheese burgers with you doesnt mean im not eating enough. I am eating a healthy diet, and that is ok. All I know is to talk about it. Let him,know how you feel. You are important and the way you feel is important also. He should support you. The only thing I do say that is different is I make two dinners. One for me, and one for my family. This way my kids and him will still eat good but I am having chicken and broccoli, and that would not go over. Something to think about, it really has helped. Also, when he orders pizza... You make a salad. He will see your strength in this. Good luck.

Iwillshyne

Today he bought Oreos!!! UGH!
For the most part (since I do most of the cooking) he eats what I eat as far a meals go. But when he away from home he eat pretty bad (being a truck driver). He does very little to work out and eat better, so I made a new rule--- No junk food in the house, and if I catch you eating it you have to throw it away. He understand/respect my struggle with eating better and agreed. And (for the most part) wont bring it home. However, today he got busted with Oreo's covered in fudge and had to throw it out --the look on his face when I walked in the kitchen and caught him was priceless, he stuffed 4 cookies in his mouth, lmbo!!. It was all in good fun tho. He's a good guy!

honu18

My significant other isn't trying to lose weight because he doesn't need to at all. He's the reason why I'm doing this in the first place--he's extremely healthy. He runs anywhere from 8-10 miles a day and can run way more than that. He does all this crazy physical fitness stuff. We had a conversation just the other day about food, because I was a bit concerned about my obsession with everything. He tells me he does the same thing, looking at the calorie content of foods and actually keeping track of what he ate in his head. I had no idea he did that, because to me, he just eats a LOT. Well, he can eat a lot. The way he does it is go big or go home. Certain days he'll totally splurge and eat more ice cream than I think is physically possible for a person to eat (honestly, it's ridiculous), and then for the next couple days he'll eat super healthy and won't touch desserts. See, for me, I'm coming off of really bad eating habits in the past, so I like to have a llittle dessert everyday and budget for it. And I don't do big cheat days, because I will gain a LOT if I just ate that much. So that's a bit frustrating.

I don't live with him, but rather live with 5 other girls in an apartment at college. And for me to live with them and eat with them is the hardest thing. I don't want to be mean, but it's getting close to time for me to tell them I'm not going to pitch in for their food or eat with them. I feel bad because I don't want to be anti-social and create an awkward apartment dynamic, but how do you say you don't want to eat what they're eating because it's not healthy without insulting them? They buy tons of high sugar fruit juices, sodas, chips, pop-tarts, pancakes, french toast, frozen pizzas, frozen dino chicken nuggets (today) and all that stuff. I don't want to pay for that crap. It just makes me cringe seeing them eat it. I am very happy with a big salad, veggie burger, and yogurt/fruit for dinner. It's hard not to give into the pressure when they always have candy and ice cream in the house. It's really testing my self-control. It was much easier when I didn't have to deal with having it accessible. This is why I have my own stash of food-- fruits, healthy cereals, and healthy protein/snack bars. But I agree, it's very frustrating and challenging.

tigersmoondiva

Mind didn't either - then I lost about 25 pounds... The past week he has completely changed his tune. (Of course mentioning that I was going for a shopping trip at Victoria's Secret when I hit my goal weight might have made a difference too......)

Brandi_Lee

My husband works in a warehouse so whe he goes to work it's like an 8hr workout for him everyday. Meaning he eats ANYTHING he wants and sometimes he even loses weight. He does support me as in he's happy with what i'm doing but tonight for example he bought ice cream and pop and sat beside me and ate it.

andreahanlon

If he's calling you a party pooper, that's like putting a guilt trip on you. Although I bet he doesn't mean to do this, appealing to a person's emotions to override a logical decision she has made for herself is along the lines of manipulation. Maybe bring up the point to him that you really want to be healthy and that it is very important to you. Ask him for his support directly.

Or, maybe turn the tables and appeal to his emotion -- maybe have a little fun and center in on his ego a little bit. Play up how he would be such a strong support, a hero protecting you from sugar temptations.... or maybe a competition (who can eat healthier on your day off together) ...but perhaps by advising you to appeal to his ego, I'm encouraging a little manipulation on your part. hmmm .....

Topsking2010

Ladies the average man lives to be 75 and a woman lives to be 80. Unfortunately, men do not eat right or go to the doctor. I almost fell in the same trap but made a lifestyle change and lost 50 pounds. Be an example for your family and let your significant other eat whatever they want. Sad but true.

The truth is most men are insecure about their women looking fit and healthy afraid you might find someone else.

It may sound cold but put yourself first and get healthy. It's a great feeling!!


Top

AmazingStace

My DH is so supportive, and he does encourage me on this journey. He isn't a picky eater, so I'm fortunate there. He has lost 15 pounds this last month without even trying, just by cutting out the fast food and eating a healthy supper because I'm cooking. He still drink his regular Mt. Dew, and he can eat pretty much anything he wants. It's frustrating sometimes. Like yesterday we went to a college football game, and he ate 3 hot dogs, a pretzel and drank regular pop. It was really hard for me to stick with one hot dog and water and then part of a pretzel. But I did it. I don't think he's eating in front of me like that to be mean. He was just that hungry. But I'm really happy he's supportive and on the "health" train with me.

mewaybright

No S.O. but my worst enemy is my friends when I am out... but my secret weapon is Shakeology... I am not pushing it but it is only 140 calories for a serving and if I get sucked into eating something unhealthy that is loaded with calories I will have a day of 2 shakes instead of my normal one. Obviously I don't want to do that every day but every once in a while it is ok. Beyond that if I have a calorie blowout I just workout longer. If you do a workout that burns 600 calories then you should be ok with that additional 600 that you ate.

Katie3784

Ugh, I get so frustrated by people who are so against eating well. While my hubby does not exercise or eat really consciously, he loves eating what I make for dinner, and he is actually the one who introduced veggies to me three years ago. I have trouble understanding people who do not work out and who eat junk all the time. I just could not imagine how crappy I'd feel if I lived that way, but I guess you can get used to eat. He needs to grow up and be more supportive of you.

inlander

Bahaha. Well, my s/o isn't overweight technically and is in pretty good shape, but works out every other day and eats whatever he wants to. He's extremely supportive of my attempt to get healthier - if not, I don't know WHAT I'd do. All I know is that he can be a really bad influence but it's not his fault, it's MINE.

Taintedkitten

Me and my partner are like this.

I find that if he wants to eat out for lunch or whatever, I'll take the healthier choices. So far this is working. He knows I'm doing this and is supporting me 100%. I'm very lucky he's being supportive, even to the point of hearing me talk about how many calories is in my servings! Haha. Or if I have some calories left, sometimes I will splurge (but not go over) with something a little bit naughty (but not too naughty!).

I cook dinner, and he'll eat anything put in front of him. He'll just have bigger portions if he feels like it. I usually cook enough for 2-3 days at a time as it works out more cost effective and just eat what I know I'm allowed. So I'm fortunate he will eat whatever I eat, though usually just more of it. He's got a very exercise intensive job involving a lot of heavy lifting and such so he can eat these things and still lose weight. He also works between 9-14 hours a day, so he burns a lot of calories.

Mind I guess it's easy for me because beforehand I was essentially starving myself, then eating like one or two big meals a day, which we know is not conducive for weight loss. With these calories I'm hardly ever really hungry. Sometimes I wonder how I'll eat them all!

Part of the reason I put on this weight though, aside from my injury, is because when we were going out, he had a lot of junk food so I just followed spending so much time with him and it became a habit. I have stopped this now. He's actually grateful (saving money in the long run also!).

CNParker

Since I do most of the cooking she doesn't have much choice :-D

Yup, If he doesn't like whats for dinner, he's free to makes something else.

beckyinma

Since I do most of the cooking she doesn't have much choice :-D

Same here, but my hubby usually has seconds and I don't. I cook healthy for everyone, 90% of the time, and sometimes we have a fun meal.

sharonus

My husband used to complain when I asked if I could go downstairs to use the treadmill. One day, I asked him to give me his hand and I held it and said, "I would just like to thank you for being so supportive." I said it as if I was being serious, and he got my point. After that, I tried to make sure I got home from work a little earlier so that he wasn't the only ones with the kids until late, I skipped some workout days if it would force him to do the entire bedtime routine with the kids, etc. It obviously depends on your situation, but I did try to make sure I was focusing on how it affected him and tried to do what I could to minimize that.