The significant other

TrishJimenez

Ugh, I get so frustrated by people who are so against eating well. While my hubby does not exercise or eat really consciously, he loves eating what I make for dinner, and he is actually the one who introduced veggies to me three years ago. I have trouble understanding people who do not work out and who eat junk all the time. I just could not imagine how crappy I'd feel if I lived that way, but I guess you can get used to eat. He needs to grow up and be more supportive of you.

Since I only buy 100 whole grain breads, brown rice and now rolled oats for oatmeal (the kind you have to boil for 5 mins) and so now he eats it bcuz it is all thats there. And I make the oatmeal for me and serve him some. The added fiber has gotten to him this week. (he has not made the connection to his increased regularity )

Mitchlou84

My OH would probably be classed as underweight. He is 6ft 1, and has a waist around 30 inches! Since we moved to Australia he exercises SO MUCH, but even before that he could eat whatever he wanted and not put any weight on! He is training for Triathlons now and is always hungry.

I meal plan and cook, so he eats the same food as me but just bigger portions. I don’t really have a sweet tooth so I don’t mind him having chocolate or ice cream in, it doesn’t really tempt me.

The issue will be if he ever prepares dinner he will give me the same portion size as him, and I will have just come back from the gym and be so hungry, and I will really struggle to leave literally half! Also weekends he will want to eat out, go for drinks etc! But I do try to exercise lots and lots through the week and do 2 classes Sat am so I can live a little on the weekends!

He’s pretty good, but would definitely rather I didn’t have to diet!!

wickedkitty

My husband and the crap-tastic comments he'd make about my weight are part of my motivation to lose the weight I've gained after having our children. While I've just started on my journey, he is always trying to get me to eat things that I've cut out like candy and soda. When I decine, he has the audacity to ask why not, a little won't hurt!! I'm not giving in and sticking to my guns. You should too. You've worked so hard to get where you're at, if you aren't comfortable straying from your diet don't do it. But at the same time you have to be realistic, the chances that you won't ever have another icecream in your life is slim to none. Maybe schedule a little date with your husband for a frozen yogurt after you meet a goal you've set for yourself. I'm confident that if you keep setting a good example for your man he will eventually follow suit. Good luck!!

JJasMyself

That is one of the reasons why after my last relationship ended I have decided to go solo for a while. There are a lot of things I want out of my life and getting myself back in shape and healthy is one of my top priorities. So I just decided I don't need to be in a relationship right now until I get my life in order. I do however, live with my dad and he keeps all kinds of junk food in the house and he'll even by me some little treat thinking it's a healthy version just because it says "made from real fruit juice" or something like that on it. He's starting to get a better idea of what healthy is now. He has never really had to be too concerned with it because he's mailman and walks for 6 hours a day while carrying his 40lb sack of mail so he can basically eat whatever he wants and not gain weight.

We do a combination of some of the the things others have mentioned he'll eat whatever I cook and if he doesn't like a particular healthy item he'll just eat more of the other stuff. If he cooks or wants to order pizza then he'll let me know a head of time so I can eat accordingly.

Now that I've lost a noticable amount of weight he's trying to get back down to what he calls his playing weight. He only has 5 lbs to lose.

As for him ordering pizza when you've already cooked. That's just plain rude. I don't know how you can tolerate it.

muskiemama

Going through this tonight with my fam. They want pizza so I'm compromising. They can have their pepperoni pizza and I'll fix myself a lean cuisine pizza. That way I won't feel deprived of the joys of pizza and still not blow my program.:)

kyle4jem

My husband thinks I'm a bit OCD with the scales and doesn't understand why I need to weight everything. We share the cooking, but Jem does the lion's share. I know how he cooks and I've a good idea of quantities so I can usually work out the Calories give or take and as I'm usually about 100-150 under each day, I don't stress too much. Well I do for about 10mins and then I've usually forgotten about it.

I don't nag him about losing weight... his belly is beer, booze and crackers n cheese... but at 6'2" he looks a regular guy from behind and 8-months gone from the front/side :laugh: I'm dishing up smaller portions and that's not a problem. If he's hungry and want's more he'll fetch himself second helpings. He also puts a smaller portion on my plate and I don't eat what I don't need.

This is my choice to loose weight because I was getting dangerously near to the point that I could not function within normal parameters... e.g. being unable to find clothes that fit me in the stores, getting very breathless doing simple tasks, finding it ackward to manoeuvre in tight spaces, not being able to fit into tables with fixed seating

I want to be fit by the time I'm 50. Perhaps when he sees my transformation, he might joing me for his 60th :bigsmile:

Lozzy_82

My husband is supportive of me but he hasn't changed his eating habits. I usually tell him what I'm having for dinner and if it's something he likes then he has it too, otherwise he just orders a takeaway or cooks himself some burgers or something :ohwell: He hasn't cut down on his beer either, despite continually saying he's going to. He doesn't really do much exercise, although he has started coming for a brisk 20 minute walk with me during our lunch break (we work together).

It's not like he particularly needs to lose weight, although he might need to soon if he doesn't make a few changes to his lifestyle. I won't nag him about it though - he's an adult and can make his own decisions and I would have been devestated if he'd ever hassled me about my weight. If it becomes a health issue I suppose I might talk to him, but it doesn't affect how attractive I find him at all.

Zoe2901

Hubby eats what i cook so overall firly healthy and some cheat days but exercising is another matter all together i have been trying to encourage him but he isnt interested really, he did one day of the shred with me and he reckons he is still ching four days later so im on my own with the fitness part.

SueGremlin

My husband and I have always eaten very different diets. He eats like an 11 year old, basically. I do all the cooking, so I've learned to basically make two different dinners, one for him, one for me. It kind of worries me how much Pepsi he drinks (Sorry, Lorina!) but he's a grownup. He does need to lose about 40 lbs, but that's his thing, I'm not gonna force anything on him.
FORTUNATELY, he is very supportive and would never try to sabotage me. He's respectful of what I choose, and never makes comments about it. If he did, I'd perceive that as a pretty major problem worthy of evaluating.

2Bgoddess

my husband ihas a serious appetite, but never gains and children are skinny. they eat healthy with me, and then eat more stuff, good and bad, on top of it. Each time i try the "diet thing" my hubby tries not to tempt me with crap, and then i eventually fall off the wagon after about a week. NOT THIS TIME. He must know i am serious, as because we share the cooking, and sometimes i refuse to eat what he makes (like greasy burgers that are so fatty they burst into flame when cooking on the bbq...) he has asked me to make more detailed menus so that he doesn't "sabotage or starve" me. :-)

theberg

I will admit that my mother in law is the worst enabler I've met. We came over for dinner the other day and she kept going on about the donuts from a local bakery she had and how we needed to try them. She's frustrated because she's been on weight watchers for years and can't drop weight. It took most of my self control to not say something about having 30 donts in the house.

christine24t

i have no advice other than when your other doesn't eat what you make...my dad used to say "go scratch" if we didn't want to eat what he made. when we got older, he would allow us to make other food if we didn't want what he made, but he would never take us out to get anything.
so i would tell your husband "it's really disrespectful to me when you refuse to eat what i made the family for dinner." maybe saying it like that will make him realize that how rude he is being.

porffor

My DH is 'good' sometimes and not so good others.. it's his way and I've come to accept that.
Yes I'd love nothing more than him lose lbs and become ripped like some of the transformations on here, but then I dated a body builder before my DH. Fact is he isn't a gym bunny and never will be. His thing is different to my thing but it gives us something to talk to each other about and to love each other for. He supports me and thats what matters.

knittnponder

Mine totally encourages me, supports me and all of that but he's not on the same page with the eating thing. Over the years he's gotten progressively better about the choices he makes but we're still at odds on some things. I make all the food and do the shopping so if he wants to be bad it involves a trip to the store. He is a terrible influence though! I do much better when he's not around tempting me with Mike's Hard Lemonade! We don't often indulge though so I try to find a balance between behaving and enjoying myself with him. We'll occasionally go get ice cream (we do have four kids after all!) but it's not the norm. I try to make the best choices I can and teach them to the kids but I also want to teach them that the occasional indulgence is okay too.

poseyj88

My SO has never once been unsupportive, but he doesn't like to eat all the same things I do. I cook dinner, so I often control what the meal is (it'll be something he likes usually, but not usually anything high calorie). I think from my efforts he's noticing what he eats more and is now exercising more.

Good things have happened for him. But I know how hard it was when he was apathetic, I can't imagine how hard it is to have someone actively working against you.

panda4153

I can uderstand this, my hubby is not really interested in loosing weight or changing what he eats, but I have told myself that I have to understand that. I am loosing wieght for myself, not anyone else, so I have to make choices for myself and not anyone else. If he wants pizza then by all means he can have pizza, I will have something else. I do the grocery shopping and I even buy ice cream for him, I just by frozen yogurt for myself too. I try to find alternatives that I can feel good about eating while he also eats what he wants to eat.

kcgslp

I am right there with you!!!
The other day I was so excited that I had finally burned over 1,000 calories in a day from exercise and I want to share it. I showed him and he said " Your obsessed"


He's not going to get it, unfortunately. I do cook seperate meals for the family and myself. But he'll pretty much eat what ever I put infront of him. I have late night treats planned so when he is grabbing a bowl of ice cream I get a 1/2 of bannana with a tsp. of peanut butter (YUMMY) or frozen grapes or somtimes a Skinny Cow ice cream.

My best advice is plan! You can't let diet and exercise put too much of a wedge beteween you because than your healthy habits become the enemy. One night I even brought a Skinny Cow ice cream to Cold Stone Creamery with my family so I could enjoy the night just like them. On Pizza night I have lean cuisine frozen pizza on hand and make that while they enjoy take-out.

You have to make it work. Good luck. I KNOW it's hard

tladame

Heh, this sounds like my husband. Although he is totally in support of what I eat, he wants no part of it. Every once in awhile (especially after too many days of eating bad), he feels sluggish and says, "I'll eat whatever you cook!" So that lasts about a day, LOL. It's not a big deal, though. If he doesn't like what I cook, he'll either make something else or go out & get something.

On the other hand, when I do make meals that he will like, I will either just eat a small portion or make myself something else. So it never really becomes an issue. As long as my toddler eats something healthy, I feel I'm doing a good job.

momof2osaurus

My husband eats like a 12-year-old. I still do fine when we're together all day, but it's MUCH MUCH harder on me. I refuse to tell him he can't eat what he wants to eat, though, especially since he doesn't need to lose any weight.

Fat_2_Fit_Mommy

Ohh yess... my husdand supports me on my new "life style" what I like to call it. He will eat like ice cream and popcorn and such infront of me some times.. He will eat things healthy some times like day before yesterday he did ate a salad I fixed for w/ a meal. Soo I really don't have this problem that he makes fun of me really. He knows how bad I want to be skinny soo he is helping me. He also takes me and my daughter to the park for excercise and let her play and such.

tragicpixie

so i would tell your husband "it's really disrespectful to me when you refuse to eat what i made the family for dinner." maybe saying it like that will make him realize that how rude he is being.

I have the same problem and I tried saying the same thing but it didn't get though to my husband. I even tried giving him a dose of his own medicine (not a good tactic I know but this has been going on nightly for two years after awhile it gets really painful). He finally got it after I refused to eat a meal he made and said exactly what he has said to me on many occasions "It's not a cheeseburger so you know I don't like it."

My husband and I have a ton of other problems and really probably won't be married much longer BUT in general I just try to focus on doing what I need to for me. I have to have this attitude with him though because I have had a serious eating disorder in the not so distant past. My last relapse was like less than a year ago and I tried to make him realize that having binge foods constantly in the house is really not safe for me but he didn't really "get" that.

I do feel bad because he always talks about how fat he is and his mom called him fat while we were separated (to be fair he did gain a lot of weight) but he's a grown up. If he doesn't like what I made for food he can make his own food or go get something - and if he can't afford that he'll have to learn to eat what I buy. I'm sure if this isn't a good method for a healthy relationship but it's kind of what I have to do for me.