Criticism

Sezmo83

It's going to depend on the person. Some will be highly defensive and will probably drop you as a friend. Others like me would welcome the criticism, so long as it was constructive and not like "Put down the cookies, fatty!" :bigsmile:

Lol, "put down the cookies fatty!" would probably work best for me.

I have no objections if people want to comment on my diary. Anyone doing so needs to realise that I'm aiming to go over the 1200 it's set for though. Anything up to 1600 is good. I'd be annoyed if someone kept ranting at me for not doing low carb or for not eating "clean" though. I welcome constructive criticism, I don't welcome people shoving their beliefs down my throat like their way is the only right way. I'm eating in a way I can sustain for life, that means I sometimes have pizza or Burger King.

Also, I think if you're going to criticise the bad you should also comment on the good.

olyrose

I've seen some people who are good at pointing things out in a non-threatening way, with comments like "did you forget to log your water today? Don't forget it's important to track that too" or "it doesn't look like you logged a lot of food today, do you feel good working out on that little? I always need a lot more when I exercise". Comments like that seem very caring and subtle. I think it's just making the intention of the comment clear. And as soon as they ask for help - give them all you can.

jenbusick

This is tricky and I was wondering the same thing myself. Since you probably don't personally know all the friends on your list, it's hard to say how they would take the criticism. I usually don't say anything unless they ask for advice.

I too check out diaries at times... curious to see what others are eating... to help get suggestions, etc., and I find some who regularly (daily) eat sweets and drinks full of sugar and calories. I've struggled with... should I say something, but... figured I'd stay quiet for now. What I don't know is.... maybe like someone else posted.... they are just trying to watch calories now and cut down, and... maybe... even though they ate cookies today.... it's a small victory to them... because in the past they might have eaten the whole bag. If I said something, they might be offended, and it might set them back.

This is how I feel about it -- and this is my struggle personally. Honestly, it's a victory for me when I don't eat the whole bag, even if I do go over my calories for the day. I live with skinny people who eat whatever they like, whenever they like, and I have a really, really tough time saying "NO" on my own behalf every time they hit the junk. And they certainly don't say no on my behalf. When I had a Ben & Jerry's milkshake the other day, it was because my husband went off and bought them for everyone while I was in the restroom with one of the kids. I came out and there he was with ice cream for everyone. He apologized later, but I told him honestly that I wouldn't have felt better if he'd left me out, either.

When everybody else is getting the gooey desserts, it's HARD to say "None for me, thanks." I'm just not there yet. But I am really trying. I know how it looks. But for me, some days, the victory is recording every bite even if I missed the mark by 500 calories *sigh*.

So I would err on the side of trying to find something encouraging to say, like "Good for you for tracking everything!" Or something sympathetic like "Man, those caramel blizzards are SO good, aren't they? I have a hard time turning those down." They know it was bad for them. But they also know you're there for them.

taso42_DELETED

If it's an off day, then no harm, no foul.
If it's a trend, I usually say something... once, twice, three times. Everybody is in a different predicament. Some people really try hard but can't hit their calorie goals. The people who don't even try - defriend.

infamousmk

If I ask for help or advice, I want the most honest, straight up answers I can get. If I'm not asking for advice, then I don't want my friends commenting unless they see something MAJORLY SERIOUS. Same goes for my friends - if they need my help, I'm there like Johnny on the Spot. If they don't ask, I don't say anything.

cm2two

dont criticize like a douche and it's all good...

MrsCon40

All my friends know that I DEMAND that they say "put down the cookie, fatty!"

bry_all01

so long as you know that my journey is not your journey and you know that I do not count calories, but macros, then go ahead, especially if I ask you for your advice, give it to me straight. But, if you do not know that I am mainitaining and training and you make some snide comment, that might piss me off. But, to be fair, I do give advance notices if I know I am eating too little or if I know I am going to indulge.

vim_n_vigor

Unless someone asks for it, or I know the circumstances of the person posting, I keep it to myself. I don't know if they are working into their diet in phases, are having a very bad week, or what other stuff might be going on. Now if you ask me, I will tell.

jojobird2011

I would hope that anyone who comments is doing so because they want to help you. A little constructive criticism if not said in a mean way will help. I know it makes me think and I hope it can do the same for you

maria25428

I'd like the advice.. if people aren't open for the suggestions they shouldn't have there diary public.. they may not realize they are doing anything wrong.

kennethmgreen

I find it curious to make my food diary public and be offended if someone comments on what I've eaten. I appreciate criticism and am grown-up enough to know that some criticism is good for me and some is meaningless. I can choose to heed the advice/criticism or not. It baffles me how much power people are willing to give up to a stranger on the Internet.

There are people I am friends with - including some here on MFP - who I would be disappointed with if they did NOT say "enough cookies fat *kitten*!" But that's just me. I am not a delicate flower, despite my dainty appearance.

jojobird2011

I understand and get where your coming from but there are times your actually helping someone by saying something. You can tell someone what you think it a nice way..a way that will be helpful to them.

sbremner35

Depends on the person really, some people are open to help others maybe a little sensitive and not ready to take everything on board :O)

maidentl

I find it curious to make my food diary public and be offended if someone comments on what I've eaten.

Because if you make your diary private, knowing that you're not open to criticism, you'll get it anyway in the form of accusations of lying, hiding something, shame, not being 100%. Seriously, I have seen people on here get REALLY worked up about closed diaries. It's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't around here.

bhagavatilad1

not a good idea i saw someones food diary and she had only eaten 3 slithers of beef all day and the calories were high around 800 and I commented on how little she ate and she posted pics of her weight loss later I got accused of being millitant in my comments because I didn't exactly think that was healthy for her and she posted on her blog how rude I was and she had missed all the good comments. She was offended and so was I. She complained about what a hard life she had, I believe everyone's life is difficult especially mine. I ended up removing her as a friend.

glockster972

I suppose that would depend on a lot of circumstances. I personally like CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM from my closer friends. However, if you don't know me well or can't offer anything of use, I feel its best to keep the comment to yourself. Just my opinion.

killagb

not a good idea i saw someones food diary and she had only eaten 3 slithers of beef all day and the calories were high around 800 and I commented on how little she ate and she posted pics of her weight loss later I got accused of being millitant in my comments because I didn't exactly think that was healthy for her and she posted on her blog how rude I was and she had missed all the good comments. She was offended and so was I. She complained about what a hard life she had, I believe everyone's life is difficult especially mine. I ended up removing her as a friend.

Just what exactly is a slither of beef ?? :huh:

baisleac

If it's an off day, then no harm, no foul.
If it's a trend, I usually say something... once, twice, three times. Everybody is in a different predicament. Some people really try hard but can't hit their calorie goals. The people who don't even try - defriend.

^^^ This. ^^^

I also keep my friends list, relatively, small so I have a better chance of remembering who's working on what... AND... I have a disclaimer right on my profile "If you can't handle constructive criticism, please don't request friendship. I WILL look at your food diary. I WILL make comments when I feel they are necessary." so everyone is fairly warned.

I never comment on non-friends diaries.

27strange

If it's an off day, then no harm, no foul.
If it's a trend, I usually say something... once, twice, three times. Everybody is in a different predicament. Some people really try hard but can't hit their calorie goals. The people who don't even try - defriend.

^^^^Like this!