Child-free?

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  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    I'm a huge traveler too! 13 countries/3 continents before 30. I just recently had a baby (she is 19months) but that hasn't stopped us from traveling. In fact it hasn't changed anything except now we have another person join in on the fun which means a little extra work, no biggie. I do respect anyone who wishes to be CF! Whatever works for everyone :)
  • Vegan_Chick
    Vegan_Chick Posts: 474 Member
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    Kids are over-rated. You can borrow mine for a free trial and I guarantee you will return them!

    That's not even funny, on sooo many levels. I am hoping you are just kidding.

    If you're not kidding .. For the love of God ... call childrens aid and give them up so they can have a chance of finding parents who reallly want them.

    LOL! You obviously didn't read the post below that! Can't you take a joke? Sheesh? Is that even a word?


    Sheesh!

    I knew you were joking. It was very tongue-in-cheek. I'll explain for those who thought you were serious:

    You see, she loves her kids. But having children is hard. Very hard. And it's not for everyone. But once you have them, you wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Making a statement like this, in jest, to prove a point (some people have a sense of humor and recognize it in others) is actually common. She was trying to say just how difficult it is to have and raise children. And expensive. But in a funny way. Well, to some of us it was funny. Maybe it's not your style. Whatever. Different strokes and all that.

    All clear now? Good. Play nice.

    Well .. I see now .. she meant it to be 'in jest'...only because she posted her 2nd post after I started to respond to the 1st. The 1st post on it's own was a little disturbing.

    In that case then .. No offense.
    It is hard to hear humor in writing sometimes
  • Kate6868
    Kate6868 Posts: 159 Member
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    I have not children, not by choice. I tried for years, only managed to get pregnant once and miscarried. After being diagnosed with Celiac a couple of years ago, the doctor said that could be the reason. I was sad for years. But, at 47, it's nice to come home to a quiet house (if you call two cats and a bird quiet). My husband and I can do what we want and not have to worry about kids. It does have its perks. I am a teacher. It is nice to have kids all day and send them home so I can have peace and quiet! :)
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    I am child free by choice.

    I have a 5 year IUD that i plan to replace when the time expires, and I've always said my Mr. Right will be at least 5 years older, 6'0" or taller and have already had a vasectomy.
    I don't think there is a man alive that wants kids less than I do.

    one more thing...
    I have no problem with those who decide to have children. Being child free is not for everyone - just as choosing to have children isn't. But pardon my naïveté for just a moment and let me say that I believe the worst thing I could do for my children is have them for selfish reasons or because I gave in to peer pressure, or someone wanting grandkids. I have 14 nieces and nephews. I love them all. I just don't think I need to add to that number.
    I've never in my life experienced maternal feelings, "baby fever", or the desire to procreate at all. And although most of the benefits seem selfish (sleep, money, time, etc), I still think having children when I truly do not desire any would do far more harm than good. For ME... it would be irresponsible and irrational.
    I also have health reasons for not reproducing, honestly, but that's beside the point i think.
  • ebramlett
    ebramlett Posts: 306 Member
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    WE have two .. well they are not children any more, they are adults. and we were recently blessed with our first grandchild .. and couldn't be happier or more proud.

    My hubby and I married right out of high school, raised two kids and worked our butts off. Had many nights of very little sleep, worried constantly, had many bouts of crying uncontrollably because the pressure was too intense, had many arguments about what we would allow or not allow our kids to do, were embarrassed, were disappointed, were confused .. the list is endless.

    but then ..

    We also wouldn't have wanted to miss that opportunity for anything.

    To have a little one wrap their adoring arms around your neck, and hold on with all their might .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while
    To have them look up at you with with angelic eyes to find comfort in you .. knowing YOU are the ONLY one in this child's world that would have that effect .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while
    To be called Mommy or Daddy for the 1st time (which evidently causes you to go weak in the knees in love) .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while
    To wake up in the middle of the night to find that you have a little one sound asleep at the foot of your bed, because THAT is the safest place in the house at the moment .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while
    To look down onto a sleeping angel's face and feel nothing but complete and utter contentment .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while
    To listen to the chatter about how things work .. You smile and know THAT makes it all worth while (This one sometimes causes uncontrollable laughter too)
    To go through all the changes, events, good ones and bad of family life .. you smile and know, THAT makes it all worth while.
    To realize that when your kids have 'grown up' that they've become healthy vital and good conscientious individuals .. You smile and know it is all worth while.

    From the day we found out WE were pregnant, we loved those babies .. and couldn't wait for them to come into our lives. From the moment we brought them home .. our home was filled with smiles and even boisterous laughter. We felt blessed when they first came into our lives .. and we still feel blessed to have lived a life filled with such love.

    THAT is what makes it all worth while.



    ^^^^^^^^^^ THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  • Lozzy_82
    Lozzy_82 Posts: 324 Member
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    I've always assumed that some sort of maternal instinct or desire for children would kick in eventually. I'm almost thirty, married, and there's no sign of it yet though. I'll just wait and see.
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
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    The wife and I are 28. Been married 6 years. Neither of us have a strong desire to have birth children. Family and friends always ask when we are going to have a baby and we just keep pushing it out, "Oh maybe in a few years...." When really it is looking like never. Ultimately, I think we may want to adopt either through foster care or overseas. We have taken in short term foster kids off and on over the last 3 years, but don't have any now with no plans to for awhile. We are concentrating on ourselves and our careers and my wife is finishing up grad school. The perceived norm is to have children, but I am perfectly fine going against the grain and not having any.
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
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    my boyfriend and i are child-free by choice.. and plan to stay that way forever. I've just never felt like the "motherly" type.. never had that maternal drive or desired to have a child.. ever since i was little, I've never imagined my life with kids. my cousin is the complete opposite, she once told me "when i see older women without children, i feel so sad for them and wonder whats wrong with them that they cant have children.. i never thought 'maybe its by choice'". some people just cant fathom why a person wouldnt want to bring such a great miracle into this world, but its normal.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    No short ones for me. Man friend agrees. We're happy:) If it happens, eh. But it's nothing I'm planning for. I've never felt motherly or that I had to become a mother. I have 8 nieces and nephews and they're all I need:)
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    THAT is what makes it all worth while.

    Sure...for YOU. Some of us feel we can and do live happy, worthwhile, fulfilled lives without all of that. And we have other things that "make it all worth while" (sic).
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
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    [Disclaimer: I have children]

    Children are a seriously, life-long responsibility. This is not a decision that ANYONE ELSE should EVER push on someone.
    Not everyone "should" have children. Not everyone wants to have children.

    There are entirely enough/too many people who are carelessly having children, so that the choice of many people to not have children in no way "threatens" the continuity of our species.

    Yes, some people do have a stronger "must pass genetic material on to another generation" instinct in them. Others, thankfully, do not.

    Currently, I'm saddened by our daughter in law, who absolutely HAD to have a child, requiring some sort of drug treatment, or something, since she would not conceive naturally. Okay, so now she has a baby - which she is really not emotionally equipped for. Babies are NOT fashion accessories!! they are PEOPLE! they will NOT keep a marriage together, they will NOT make your life "meaningful", and they will NOT validate you as a person/adult.
    Babies should have been something for that couple that happened several years in the future, if at all. And, yes, I am talking about one of my own (step) children, here.

    I never, ever ask young couples if they are going to have children. That is entirely their business, and if they choose not to, that is a perfectly valid choice - and, in my own opinion, in the current world, that might be a better choice.

    Full disclosure: I have six children, two of "my own", and four added when I married their father (he was custodial parent). I've raised six teenagers. All are grown now, and I have nine grandchildren. Yes, grandkids are cute. I have too many, in the broader perspective. One of our sons, who is married, plans to wait several years to have children. I applaud them. (that sounds like he's the only married one. Actually, of the six, only one is single - but of the married kids, he's the only childless one)
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
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    THAT is what makes it all worth while.

    Sure...for YOU. Some of us feel we can and do live happy, worthwhile, fulfilled lives without all of that. And we have other things that "make it all worth while" (sic).

    I wasn't suggesting otherwise. Anyone who feels the same about having children as I do, "get's" what I was sharing. I don't think I am alone in feeling this way about having a family.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    Child-free by choice, because I'm only 19 and damn it I have better things to do! lol. My fiance and I have talked about it and we both agree that we want two children. We will be okay with just one, but we DEFINITELY don't want more than 2! He is an only child, so he's not used to a very big family. I, however, am the middle of three and seeing what my parents went through, three is too many for me. So for now, child-free, but maybe 5 years in the future after I've had a career for a few years and I'm married, definitely.
  • JEK717
    JEK717 Posts: 1,497
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    Child free....grreeeeaattt yet another political term i have to remember...smh. Children...are a blessing. So to say you are free of them...sigh.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    only have kids if YOU want to, don't do it because of pressure from others...because its AT LEAST an 18 year commitment. o_o

    I'm child free by choice (at least for now, and I pray i don't change my mind lol). I love kids, but I prefer acting like a kid and don't like all the work...

    If you also love kids, you can always volunteer to work with them. :)
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
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    I absolutely, do not want kids. Ever. It really winds me up when people dismiss my preferences and tell me 'I will one day', as if our purpose in life is to produce and that we are not complete until we do. No thank you, I want to travel, see the world and have a career.

    I have a huge respect for women out there who are Mum's, especially single Mum's. I imagine it requires a great deal of patience and that it is such hard work.

    It's just not for me.
  • o0Amanda0o
    o0Amanda0o Posts: 41 Member
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    I always thought I would have children, but over the past couple of years my opinion has changed. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years, I am 26 and he is 27 and we're asked questions from friends and family about when we're going to get engaged or married... entirely different topic, but if it isn't broken.... geez. Anyway back on topic, last Thanksgiving one of his cousins announced she was pregnant and my boyfriend's mother said in front of the entire family that the pressure was off me now... :embarassed:
  • Achoooo
    Achoooo Posts: 130
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    No kids for me. Too many reasons to list. Health issues for one... but no biggie to me.
  • gemini0007
    gemini0007 Posts: 27 Member
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    You'll think I'm mad (as I did when given this little gem of advice prior ot having children) but regarding your 12 months maternity leave - it's actually EASIER to be at work than home full time with a baby. Babies are very demanding.
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    Child free....grreeeeaattt yet another political term i have to remember...smh. Children...are a blessing. So to say you are free of them...sigh.
    I can't tell if you're trolling or not.

    Never felt the need and most likely won't feel the need. I'd rather risk it and deal with the consequences if I regret it later than have a baby and hope the feelings materialize.

    Also: http://xkcd.com/946/ I'm looking for the money decal, but can't find a good one anywhere.

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