I'm 18, moving out, and need advice before I tell my parents

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  • AshjMusik
    AshjMusik Posts: 113 Member
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    Nicely done Odus.
    Communication is key ;)
  • jamesdelong
    jamesdelong Posts: 177 Member
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    Sorry I didn't read through all the comments and may be repeating stuff said, but that is good if I do because then you will know it's true.

    Stay home as long as you can. You have plenty of time to grow up and all the freedom stuff. Going to school, working, and trying to have fun at the same time is a lot to handle. I commend you for paying your own bills now, this is good because then you can truly understand the value of a dollar. I've had many raman noodle nights and "naw, you guys go out and have fun, I can't go I have to work and study when I get home"

    If it's what you feel you should do then be all means go ahead but I can tell you that you're parents will miss you and things will be tough for them. Keep this in mind before you leave, wouldn't you rather concentrate 100% of your energy and efforts in school and be done with it in the shortest amount of time or work and go to school full or part time and burn yourself out.

    You have all your life to grow up and pay bills. I say do it when you finish school that way you can have a higher paying job.

    My 2 cents.. Good luck with what ever option you choose.
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
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    I was on my own at 16 so this is coming from personal experience. I don't think you have a realistic budget or any idea of all the things that can and will go wrong. I see rent, phone, gas bill and a ridiculously low amount for food. What I don't see is toilet paper, paper towels, laundry supplies including quarters if you don't have a machine, cleaning supplies, shampoo, soap, haircuts, makeup, entertainment, OTC medicine, etc. What happens if you get sick and miss a day or more of work? You will have less money for bills and in the worse case might be out of a job. Then there are all the things we don't think we will need to pay but might. Speeding tickets, parking tickets, late fees, banking fees, and the list goes on.

    I wish I could have lived at home and gone to college but I didn't have an option to stay in my parents house. Unless you have some horrible home environment I would stay as long as you can and save as much as possible for when you do finally move out.
  • TipMcE
    TipMcE Posts: 158
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    I know you're upset about the way FA is calculated and whose income is considered but your 2nd job plan may end up backfiring as students are pretty much expected to spend all their money on college costs whereas parents are only expected to allot a percentage because they have other costs (mortgage/rent, other children, etc). As a student you are expected to not have other expenses besides college. I think the reasoning behind using parental info until you are 24 is partly because they are responsible for you being on this planet so they should take care of your college expenses. Also there is a lot of proof that the more time a student spends working, the less likely they are to graduate, which is also why I believe FA is calculated with the expectation that parents are supporting you financially. I know it sucks, but that's just the way it is.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    The reason you have to include parents income is think about howeasy it would be for every 18 year old to not claim their parents help, obviously need financial aid, and then their parents give them money after
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I left at 18 for college. Paid for it all on my own. Had a full time job during school. Graduated with two Bachelor of Science degrees at the age of 21. Never moved back home.

    Although come October 15th, I may do just that ;-) God, I miss home sometimes!
  • Slimindown
    Slimindown Posts: 3
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    Yes, I would be upset and I would try to talk them out of it and so will your parents. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't move out. Tell your parents you would like to schedule a time to talk about something important to you. Pick a time when you and your parents are rested and in a good space to have a conversation. Tell your parents your plans and the specific date you plan to move out. Show them on paper your budget. Expect resistance! Show respect by listening to their arguments and not interrupting. Stay calm. Tell them you appreciate their concerns and you will consider their arguments. Ask to meet again in a week. If you haven't changed your mind then let them know you are moving ahead with your plan. Let them know you love them and you don't want there to be bad feelings. Tell them it is important to you to feel their support. Acknowledge that it is a scary time for both of you but it is also an exciting time.

    Now, you have to be realistic about your ability to financially support yourself. What happens if one of your roomates decides to move out. You and your other roomate will have to cover the rent. Don't expect your parents to bail you out. It is cheaper for them and you if you are living at home. It is not their job to financially support you so you can play house. Ideally, it would be good to save your money for another six months to a year and then move out. Good luck!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I was on my own at 16 so this is coming from personal experience. I don't think you have a realistic budget or any idea of all the things that can and will go wrong. I see rent, phone, gas bill and a ridiculously low amount for food. What I don't see is toilet paper, paper towels, laundry supplies including quarters if you don't have a machine, cleaning supplies, shampoo, soap, haircuts, makeup, entertainment, OTC medicine, etc. What happens if you get sick and miss a day or more of work? You will have less money for bills and in the worse case might be out of a job. Then there are all the things we don't think we will need to pay but might. Speeding tickets, parking tickets, late fees, banking fees, and the list goes on.

    I wish I could have lived at home and gone to college but I didn't have an option to stay in my parents house. Unless you have some horrible home environment I would stay as long as you can and save as much as possible for when you do finally move out.

    SOOOO wise....
  • Dylanzmom
    Dylanzmom Posts: 120
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    I live with my parents until I was 23 and when I did move out I already had my career but could not believe how fast expenses add up. I even split my rent in half with my SO everything was actually down the middle but it was still ridiculously expensive. I would suggest waiting.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I also just realized you said you're thinking of doing this in JUNE! Why are you planning now?
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    i moved out when i was 18, and consider it normal to do so.

    do what you want to do. I dont know your parents, so no idea how they will feel, they will probably miss you, but you are 18 and it's not abnormal to live on your own at that age.

    i disagree with the ppl who suggest you live at home during college, however. I know people who live at home and they usually still seem "stuck in high school." Unless you want to live at home, I wouldn't recommend doing so just so you can save some money on rent.

    $350 really isn't that much, considering you will probably have a blast. You have to invest money in life, and if you know moving out will allow you to grow and improve as a person, i say go for it!

    ps: my mom was very depressed when I left, but she also encouraged me to move out because she knew it was best for me. I even studied abroad in another country in high school. I was 15 and practically moved out lol. I had one of the greatest times of my life btw. :)
  • debclif
    debclif Posts: 74 Member
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    My babysitter moved out about a year ago and now she is moving back with mom and dad. Even though her rent was 300$ a month and she already paid for everything else, she said the fact that she moved out was making her study less because the people she moved out with, who she thought would be quiet and respectful since they are in school also, caused her to be up later at night and not get as much sleep. Also, even though she moved out she didn't get any more FA, because she would have become emancipated.

    I had a choice to move out or go to school or pay rent. I wanted to move out, I did not want to live with my mom. However, I sucked it up and did. I am happy I did now, because I was able to save money, travel, and do more of what I wanted to do. I had to work 2 jobs through college and if I had to put money toward rent, I would have never been able to even party. My mom IS a hard *kitten*. Expected me home at certain times until I was 21. There was reasonable discussions, and some nights I just didn't come home.

    I am 33 now, I am happy how everything turned out, my friends that moved out, now wished they never did. They say they would have more money now, because they would have been able to pay more for their college then. Paying interest on college sucks, and most of us when to community before going to a reg. 4 year college.

    4,200$ extra a year! That is a nice car or travel money!
    good luck!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    talk to your parents, see what they think about it. work with them to create a realistic budget. If you are living close to home, that may easy their anxiety about the situation. Maybe they will be willing to help you out. Some people on here have good points, but I live on my own now and I love it. If you can do it, do it. You seem responsible.
  • mcottle292
    mcottle292 Posts: 60
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    I did not read any of the other replies so I dont know if something like this is on here already. But here is what I plan to do with my own children. My oldest is 15 and as soon as she gets a steady part time job we are going to charge her "rent". We haven't decided the amount yet but we are thinking $100. a month. That money will be put into a savings account for her to use when she moves out. For things like a deposit on a rental house, furnishings, etc. I want my children to stay with us as long as they feel they need to. I know that I am doing a great job of raising my kids. I trust that when they legally become adults they will make good decisions. All that being said. Do you have enough money saved up that if you were to lose your job you could live for 4 months without relying on credit cards etc.? If not then I think you should stay home with your parents a little longer. Good luck!
  • Breanne2010
    Breanne2010 Posts: 7
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    Ok, yeah I understand you wanting to be on your own, I wanted to be out of the house by the time I turned 19.....but I ended up getting kicked out 2 months before I actually turned 19, and now I'm living with my boyfriend. I love it, but it's so much responsibility and money. I had over honestly 5 grand saved when I started, now with buying my own car, paying for school myself, rent and other bills, I'm down to living check to check. If you're parents are on good terms with you living at home for now, take advantage of it. I don't regret living on my own, I regret not being smart with my money and the downside of us being teenagers, we jump in and buy what we want, not what we need....if you REALLY believe you're ready to be on your own, then figure out a budget beforehand so you don't go broke within the first month or two and try to keep shopping and eating out at a bare minimum. And as for the car insurance, you'd have to talk to your parents about keeping your car insured under their name and keep the address on your license at their current address. The only reason my insurance is as cheap as it is now is because it's listed under their name and when I get my license, I have to keep my old address. Just sit them down one day and ask what they think about it....don't tell them you've been thinking about it, ask them what they would think if you decided to move out anytime soon.

    I know I just rambled on a lot but I hope you find some helpful hints in there somewhere. Best of Luck to you!!!

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