people who don't eat enough

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  • krbn2
    krbn2 Posts: 98 Member
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    And if they have a real disorder, they're probably aware. If they DON'T, then your comments could possibly push them to disordered territory.

    I don't think anorexia has been shown to be caused by people being told to eat more. It's got a genetic component, and there's lots of debate as to what environmental factors contribute, but being told to eat more is probably more a red flag for an eating disorder than it is a cause. I really doubt that when people experience serious health consequences of eating disorders they say, "Oh, if only that stranger hadn't told me my dangerous habits were dangerous that one time weeks/months/years ago, then I wouldn't have been pushed to keep doing them..."

    I mean, maybe your friend doesn't track everything, maybe they're under super-supervision, maybe they're planning on doing a really low calorie thing for only a certain period of time and they'll quit next week and go on to live a non-disordered healthy life. But worst case scenario, they're going to be greatly, righteously offended by a comment that tells them to eat more, not life-ruined.
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
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    Thanks for the comments everyone. I did delete her.... because she is not really a 'friend' and whatever is going on with her, she is not on the same path as I am and I don't think my criticism would be welcome.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    I do think the water is muddied on mfp by the largish number of people who appear to be on very restricted calorie diets and think that that is a good way to lose weight. I do think, once you're restricting this much, you're in disordered eating terrain, even if you don't have a diagnosable eating disorder.

    With regards to your friend, to be honest, I'm not sure that sending her a message will have much impact. Chances are she will just brush it off, and probably have a good whinge to her other friends about it.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 765 Member
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    Just one thing though - I quite often read up on people on my iPod. I can see they are under, but not how under or what they ate - so I put something like Well Done, rather than not putting anything and probably missing that person altogether by the time I log on. Sometimes I feel guilty if I see later someone has said, under 1,000 again, why, on that post, but what can I do? If I could see that they had only eaten 500 cals, I definitely wouldn't put that, I'd ask where their lunch was, in a nice way of course ;-) Just saying yes, it shouldn't be congratulated but *maybe* not all of the posters can see the whole facts there. Good post though, we always congratulate people who have a big loss in a week and unless you've only just started that might not be the best? Hard to know what to do.
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Sadly, weightloss and eating disorders go hand in hand. Its easy to see rapid weight loss when you juststop eating all together, which normally is difficult to sustain in the long run
  • sandradi11
    sandradi11 Posts: 29
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    It's a tricky one because some people just don't want to hear that they're eating too little and some are looking for a quick fix.

    What does annoy me is all the people cheering those on who have only eaten around 700 calories. What's with all the 'WTG, Great Job, diary looks great' Why come out with this utter nonsense when they are clearly not eating healthily?!
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
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    I agree that people only hear what they want to hear but if it was bothering you enough to start this topic then you probably should have at least sent her a private message. Abandoning someone because you feel that strongly about their habits without actually making your feelings known is kind of...ehh.
  • kitinboots
    kitinboots Posts: 589 Member
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    My MFP friends are rather good. I don't recall being praised on days where I fall way short of my calorie goal.
  • jennfer71
    jennfer71 Posts: 38 Member
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    A goal is something to be reached, not avoided. I try to get as close to my goal as possible whether it ends up being a little over or under. I don't condone the idea of congratulating anybody on their day without looking at the diary first. I usually try to note in mine if the day is "off" my norm for any reason. It is also a good way to tell who is really checking for the facts & who is a blind cheerleader too.
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
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    I had a similar "friend" who not only didn't eat enough but made many posts about behaviors that are completely ED related and they made the worst comments about themselves that they could and people cheered them on. Telling this person that their goal weight was ok even though it was almost emaciated looking.

    I am in recovery from an ED, I get it that you will not get healthy until you are ready but there is a limit on what * I * can stand to read and see other people comment on and even tell them its OK.

    What they do to themselves is ok for them, but I do not have to be apart of it. There is a delete friend button for a reason :drinker:

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