Just need to get this off my chest.

icandoit

I love looking at the profiles of all those who filled them out. (Come on all those who haven't-fill them out) It nice to learn a bit about you, but I am baffled about some of the inspiration posts.
So the guys will think I am hot.
To get a boyfriend
To look hot at a party
looking hot in my bikinis
my hip bones showing
my sexy lingerie going to waste
Being something nice to look at for my boyfriend, so his eyes don't wander
I could keep going and going, but, I think you got the idea.
The girls that post these look like they don't need to lose an ounce. But, what bothers me is that they never once say they want to do it for themselves. It is really said. I think they are doing this for the wrong as I have listed above.
If you are doing this for the wrong reason, you will fail.
If you do it for the right reason-a healthier you and for you and not for Tom, **** and Harry, you will succeed.
Just needed to get that off my chest.

icandoit

I love looking at the profiles of all those who filled them out. (Come on all those who haven't-fill them out) It nice to learn a bit about you, but I am baffled about some of the inspiration posts.
So the guys will think I am hot.
To get a boyfriend
To look hot at a party
looking hot in my bikinis
my hip bones showing
my sexy lingerie going to waste
Being something nice to look at for my boyfriend, so his eyes don't wander
I could keep going and going, but, I think you got the idea.
The girls that post these look like they don't need to lose an ounce. But, what bothers me is that they never once say they want to do it for themselves. It is really said. I think they are doing this for the wrong as I have listed above.
If you are doing this for the wrong reason, you will fail.
If you do it for the right reason-a healthier you and for you and not for Tom, **** and Harry, you will succeed.
Just needed to get that off my chest.

GinaB30

I agree 100%!
I've looked at a few myself and when I see a girl wanting to lose weight for those reasons, I am baffled as well!

amandagreen1980

Me too! Well said!

But like you say, it makes me feel sad for those people for having such low self esteem.

I am just glad my parents gave me the grounding that they did so I never had to feel like that!

filergirl

My two cents:

If a guy's eyes are going to wander, it will happen regardless of how good you look. It goes back to the old adage: you can't control other people's behaviour. Be healthy, and most of all be yourself, and you will attract the right person for you.

That's what I have learned in my twenties.

aslavich

My two cents:

If a guy's eyes are going to wander, it will happen regardless of how good you look. It goes back to the old adage: you can't control other people's behaviour. Be healthy, and most of all be yourself, and you will attract the right person for you.

That's what I have learned in my twenties.

So true!!! Even though my husband says he loves me the way I am... I need to be happy with me! I want to run and jump and play with my kids without feeling winded! I want to be around to meet my future grandkids...
Have a great day everyone!!!
Angela :flowerforyou:

jessjess

My hip bones showing

What? Do these ladies really think that guys like that? Every man I know likes curves on their girlfriend/wife. In fact, once, I was laying on my side next to my husband after we had first married...he said "Wow Jess, you have some BIG hips". I INSTANTLY took that comment as an insult. He said "No no no...that's a GOOD thing...I love it."

Just goes to show that there are many men out there that appreciate curves, and many women out there that don't realize it.

debuckl

I think it is really sad too, but I think you need to take into consideration the ages of these girls. Sometimes being comfortable in your own skin comes with maturity. Many of these woman aren't old enough to have grown out of the teenage mind set that everyone is looking at and judging them.

kistinbee

I couldn't agree with you more! This has to be for yourself above all!!

*kistinbee*

filergirl

BIG RANT:

It bothers me to no end that many people, particulary the younger generation, seem to accept just about anything the media tells them.

I have a theory about this.

I see images of women with hip bones sticking out and big huge beachball heads on a shrivelled popsicle stick bodies and I think it's sad, and disgusting, and I extrapolate it to our bizarre amount of wealth and our relative position of comfort in society.

The ideal feminine figure has always been curvaceous -- right up to World War I, and through the Great Depression. There was a blip, with flappers, which is probably related to the depression, but can probably be more closely linked with the first inklings of feminism, its initial iteration being "cut off your hair, smoke, act like a man." The androgynous look began. Then we have the 40s and 50s, perhaps not the most wonderful time to be a woman, but the feminine figure was fack in full form.

Coincidentally, as our wealth increased, and war and economic depression became a distant artifact of the past, the media's representation of the ideal feminine body got skinnier. It started to look like a man's body -- non-existent hips, tight abs -- on a lanky figure. Think Kate Moss and "heroin chic," the grunge look of the 90s. The fashion of that era was a "f--k you" to the excess of the 80s. Then we have our wondrous decade. Media convergence occured, and suddenly models were singers and actresses were models and everyone was shilling for something and everything, considering globalization and the world economy, once mercantile and fractioned, now controlled by a dwindling number of multinational corporations.

Our celebrities -- the people we admire -- became indistinguisable from ourselves. We started to dress and act like them, and think we should have all the things they have. Society began to converge on itself, one big reality TV show. The distinction between image and imagination was lost. Fiction and reality combined horribly into one big oppressive unreality, where the generation coming up believes that Victoria Beckham is beautiful and that a $300 pair of jeans is normal, that yoga pants warrant a $100 purchase, debt is acceptable, ugly fashion is cool because it's more noticeable -- look at me -- it means everyone will know just how much you paid for that hideous bobble-covered handbag. Ugg boots? UGG BOOTS? They look horrible on everyone. But they're a quantifiable purchase -- the label on the back tells everyone you paid way too much money for them. Real beauty has become irrelevant. These are the new standards against which we now are expected to measure ourselves.

What does this have to do with our bodies? In a culture of utter excess, is it suprising that a thin body is an ideal? It supposedly demonstrates control. It supposedly demonstrates that we are authentic in a way that no manfactured item can be. Human beings have a natural need for authenticity to be and to feel real, to express our individuality. Throughout history we did this by overcoming various forms of oppression and strife. We built in ourselves something that used to be called character. It's an old fashioned word that you don't hear anymore. What do we have in North America that could possibly build character? Bad weather?

Paris Hilton, the pentultimate child of the Everything-and-Nothing Generation, said it best: Fat people drink diet cola. Poor is fat and Rich is thin. The struggle for identity takes on new, twisted forms . . .:(

Sorry if this is too negative. I probably should have waited at least until noon.

filergirl

P.S. When I get like this, my boyfriend jokes that maybe I SHOULD get a TV to pacify myself just a little!

lotusfromthemud

Amen, mehughes, amen.

When I get bored in spinning, I total up the workout outfit costs of the other people in class. Why do I even know what these evil clothes cost? Because when I first moved to our fair city, I was embarrassed I didn't have them. I am a mid-thirties fairly intelligent woman, but all of a sudden I was back in high school and wanted to have what the cool people were wearing. :noway: Incidentally, my new year's resolution is to turn up my resistance when I notice this happening. Wrong mindset on my part, big time.

It's true that the media is out of control. Victoria Beckham is terrifying to me, but if she's a "role model", what hope do these young ladies have. I recently watched a makeover show on TV, and the makeover winner/victim was told by a doctor at one point during the show that she was "20-25 pounds under a healthy weight". When she went for her fashion/shopping makeover, the fashion "expert" told her she was "so nice and slender". AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!! So, the standard of beauty for women in the 21st century is now weak and starving and still teetering around on shoes from the 1950s. Whenever I'm stuck on a TTC stairway behind a woman in heels, I want to scream because she's slowing me and herself down.

Oh, man, now I'm ranting, and I have a TV.

azlips2003

Here I go being the "nay sayer", but let's be honest. Who here doesn't want to get back into "those" jeans or wear something that they just can't wear now? I am tired of not fitting into my clothes and being forced to buy a larger size. So, yes, I am losing weight because I want to get back into a bikini, wear my "skinny" jeans, feel more confident in my body. If I felt good about the way I look at the weight I'm at right now I wouldn't be here!! Don't get me wrong - I absolutely agree that there are insane extremes out there in the media, but that to me is not the real world. THIS is the real world. A bunch of people that have a common goal to get healthy AND look good! :flowerforyou:

filergirl

Here I go being the "nay sayer", but let's be honest. Who here doesn't want to get back into "those" jeans or wear something that they just can't wear now? I am tired of not fitting into my clothes and being forced to buy a larger size. So, yes, I am losing weight because I want to get back into a bikini, wear my "skinny" jeans, feel more confident in my body. If I felt good about the way I look at the weight I'm at right now I wouldn't be here!! Don't get me wrong - I absolutely agree that there are insane extremes out there in the media, but that to me is not the real world. THIS is the real world. A bunch of people that have a common goal to get healthy AND look good! :flowerforyou:

You're not being a naysayer at all. It's realistic to want to slim down and look good. It's unrealistic to want to look like Mary Kate Olsen.

My rant was theoretical, meaning it was filled with numerous generalizations on the general state of society. It was intended as an analysis of why I believe some people aspire to look like celebrities who, in my view, look weird.

I too am guilty in fuelling some of the aspects of celebrity culture that I loathe, TV or no TV. I support it with my addiction to glossy magazines!!! I do TRY my very best to pick "healthy" magazines, but even those that don't focus on celebrity still feature too-thin models. WISH magazine is my favourite amongst the guilty pleasures. Somehow it's more relaxing than peeping The Walrus. (That was for the Canadians on this board.)

Najah5150

I agree 100%

What you do should be for you and those are closest to you. Mainly for your health above all the rest. I've learned that it doesn't take having a skinny body to turn a man's head....
I'm overweight...and I can't stand it. I'm this for me...so that "I" can be comfortable with myself!!!

azlips2003

Najah - The beauty of this site is that we can all support each other. We're here. We're working toward a common goal and we're going to celebrate each other's success! We ROCK! :bigsmile:

bittersweet22

I agree with all of you. I think that some girls do this for the wrong reasons, and others do it for the right reason. I would love to feel great in my own skin! And the only person that can change that is me. But who really would like to look like mary kate olson?? not me, thats for sure. It does make me sad though that on every magazine they try to tell us that skinny is in. Everyone has different taste. I have never dated a guy that has told me I need to be skinny! and I never will. these are just some of my thoughts on the matter.:flowerforyou:

amandagreen1980

Mehughes and Viviakay you made me laugh! :laugh:

Especially about the UGG boots! I have recently had a similar conversion with my younger sister. She is 23 and obsessed with image and labels! Its ridiculous!! She has just purchased a pair of UGG boots!!
Her best friend isn't even like it to the level she is and we tricked her once. Her friend had a pair of cheap £10 jeans on from a discount store that my sister wouldn't be seen dead in! My sister commented on them and her friend said they were from a designer store (i don't remember which one!) so my sister borrowed them without checking the label etc and went out in them! She was mortified when we told her where they were actually from!!

Sorry just had to add that as I found it funny!!
:laugh:

amandastamey

I think its really sad that some women feel that thier bones protruding from thier body is sexy, to me that is a direct result of being malnurished and sickly. I definatly dont want to look like I just stepped out of a concentration camp but for some reason its the "in" thing.

amandastamey

Mehughes and Viviakay you made me laugh! :laugh:

Especially about the UGG boots! I have recently had a similar conversion with my younger sister. She is 23 and obsessed with image and labels! Its ridiculous!! She has just purchased a pair of UGG boots!!
Her best friend isn't even like it to the level she is and we tricked her once. Her friend had a pair of cheap £10 jeans on from a discount store that my sister wouldn't be seen dead in! My sister commented on them and her friend said they were from a designer store (i don't remember which one!) so my sister borrowed them without checking the label etc and went out in them! She was mortified when we told her where they were actually from!!

Sorry just had to add that as I found it funny!!
:laugh:

What is up with having to have all the name brand stuff? I go to yard sales and discount stores to find a good bargain! I still think I look good in my clothes and they dont cost half as much as the name brands. It seems like the stupidist things are the point of interest for the younger kids, hell, even adults my age...there is a certain click at my job that wear the most in style most expensive clothes, jewelry, handbags, ect, and I think its sooo funny that they think they have to look like they walked off the runway just to come to work!

songbyrdsweet

Hey that's okay, if they want to be stick figures it makes me look way more buff in the gym! *flex*:laugh:

In all seriousness though...I think these young ladies need to learn to accept themselves and all their flaws before they try to fix anything. I know that my body is more athletic than most, and I also know what areas need fixing. But I don't do it because I'm unhappy with myself...I do it because, when I'm on stage, my body is like a sculpture. It's being judged like a piece of art in its symmetry, muscularity, definition. I look at it the same way. When I see a flaw, I don't think "ugh I look fat, no boys will like me", I think, "how can I sculpt this differently?" Your body is a wonderful machine, and amazing piece of art, and you should appreciate it for everything it can do!
Don't use it for attention!
Don't use it for boys!
Use it to amaze YOURSELF!

jesusgrl14

I agree with both sides. I want to be healthier- absolutely! But I also want to feel better about myself when I look in the mirror. Right now, I see bumps and lumps where I would much rather see a smoother profile. I don't want to look like Victoria Beckham or anything but one of my motivators IS to get skinnier. I know that once I find a husband, he won' t care what I look like; but let's be honest - I still have to find one! I think there are plenty of beautiful women out there to look up to that aren't all skin and bones and I totally agree that those shouldn't be the role models we are asking these young girls to look up to.

bob9304

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

terriberri

it's so unfortunate that being young so often means that others opinions of you, matter more than your own, or totally influence your own.

as we get older...(and because of this, i've alsolutely LOVED getting older), we come into our own, and things become more about "us". it's such a releif to be taking whatever actions i take because "I" want to, and not because someone or something in fads dictate that i should. it makes me feel like my mind is all mine...lol.

terri

icandoit

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

You sound like my husband. He is the same way. After almost 19 years, I learned to say ok, but, NOT wrinkled.:laugh: My son is the same. Some days when he goes to school, I think he looks like he dressed in the dark, but he is happy.:happy:

Loretta_Jo

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

You sound like my husband. He is the same way. After almost 19 years, I learned to say ok, but, NOT wrinkled.:laugh: My son is the same. Some days when he goes to school, I think he looks like he dressed in the dark, but he is happy.:happy:

It’s a guy thing.
Have you noticed that at formal functions that the men all dress alike. If woman show up in the same thing they freak out. Men look around and are glad that they all look alike. That way they feel like “OK I did it right”. :bigsmile:
:flowerforyou:

bob9304

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

You sound like my husband. He is the same way. After almost 19 years, I learned to say ok, but, NOT wrinkled.:laugh: My son is the same. Some days when he goes to school, I think he looks like he dressed in the dark, but he is happy.:happy:

This reminds me of a humourous ancedote, years ago whn my oldest girl was in first grade my wife had to be out of town for a few days. I received a call from my daughters school, the conversation went like this: "Sir you may need to check your daughters clothing before allowing her to come to school when she dresses herself." I replied. "My daughter did not dress herself I helped." School person. "Well maybe you should help her pick out the clothes." Me. "I did pick out her clothes." Long Pause..... "Well sir they did not match." Now I am working up a big head of rightous indignation when she continues.."And they were on inside out." Sudden deflation. Just goes to show ya...

icandoit

:laugh:

Loretta_Jo

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

filergirl

I agree with both sides. I want to be healthier- absolutely! But I also want to feel better about myself when I look in the mirror. Right now, I see bumps and lumps where I would much rather see a smoother profile. I don't want to look like Victoria Beckham or anything but one of my motivators IS to get skinnier. I know that once I find a husband, he won' t care what I look like; but let's be honest - I still have to find one! I think there are plenty of beautiful women out there to look up to that aren't all skin and bones and I totally agree that those shouldn't be the role models we are asking these young girls to look up to.

Why do you have to find a husband? You don't have to. You want to. Remind yourself of that!

Loretta_Jo

About the cost of clothes.
I will tell you right out and up front Wal-Mart is my store.
Just out of curiosity I figured out the cost of the clothes I am wearing right now from the skin out…..every stitch I have on my body at this minute cost me in the neighborhood of $52.00 that is including the Reeboks I have on my feet that I got on sale. (I can sniff out a shoe sale)
The last time I priced them Ugg boots were at least $100.00 a pair a couple of years ago. I don’t has a pair nor do I want a pair of the ugly things.
My son lived and worked in Aspen when he got out of collage. I would go there 2 to 3 times a year for 2 weeks at a time. He would go to work and I would go shopping. Talk about ugly clothes with high price tags OMG !
One day I went into a bakery and bought 4 cookies. Two for me and two for my son. When I checked out I was in shock. Those cookies were $90.00 a dozen. :noway: They were sugar cookies with icing and very simply decorated. I could make cookies like that in the dark that would have looked better. My son ate his and said that they were good but the ones that I use to make were better. We both had a good laugh. I could have made a fortune making and selling cookies there.
My son now works at a firm here in Arkansas so my trips to LaLa land are done and I am so glad. I like it much better here in Red Neck land. :flowerforyou: