Just need to get this off my chest.

jesusgrl14

I agree with both sides. I want to be healthier- absolutely! But I also want to feel better about myself when I look in the mirror. Right now, I see bumps and lumps where I would much rather see a smoother profile. I don't want to look like Victoria Beckham or anything but one of my motivators IS to get skinnier. I know that once I find a husband, he won' t care what I look like; but let's be honest - I still have to find one! I think there are plenty of beautiful women out there to look up to that aren't all skin and bones and I totally agree that those shouldn't be the role models we are asking these young girls to look up to.

Why do you have to find a husband? You don't have to. You want to. Remind yourself of that!

Well, I didn't mean it that way. I want one but I still have to find him. OH, if only wanting one was enough! :laugh:

filergirl

I agree with both sides. I want to be healthier- absolutely! But I also want to feel better about myself when I look in the mirror. Right now, I see bumps and lumps where I would much rather see a smoother profile. I don't want to look like Victoria Beckham or anything but one of my motivators IS to get skinnier. I know that once I find a husband, he won' t care what I look like; but let's be honest - I still have to find one! I think there are plenty of beautiful women out there to look up to that aren't all skin and bones and I totally agree that those shouldn't be the role models we are asking these young girls to look up to.

Why do you have to find a husband? You don't have to. You want to. Remind yourself of that!

Well, I didn't mean it that way. I want one but I still have to find him. OH, if only wanting one was enough! :laugh:
[/quote}

If only!

amandagreen1980

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

You sound like my husband. He is the same way. After almost 19 years, I learned to say ok, but, NOT wrinkled.:laugh: My son is the same. Some days when he goes to school, I think he looks like he dressed in the dark, but he is happy.:happy:

This reminds me of a humourous ancedote, years ago whn my oldest girl was in first grade my wife had to be out of town for a few days. I received a call from my daughters school, the conversation went like this: "Sir you may need to check your daughters clothing before allowing her to come to school when she dresses herself." I replied. "My daughter did not dress herself I helped." School person. "Well maybe you should help her pick out the clothes." Me. "I did pick out her clothes." Long Pause..... "Well sir they did not match." Now I am working up a big head of rightous indignation when she continues.."And they were on inside out." Sudden deflation. Just goes to show ya...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Morecatslady

icandoit,
I TOTALLY agree with ALL said!!!!!!!!!!!!! You go girl.!!!!!!!!!! I've been thinking these exact same things when I've read the things you mentioned in your" Just need to get this off my chest post".
Thanks for posting this,
morecatslady

Morecatslady

mehughes,
You're VERY wise in what you have posted here about being yourself and that will attract the right person for you. How'd you get so smart? Your upbringing and parents taught you well, thank God. It's inspiring to know someone in their twenties is this wise about themselves. I'm 54 years old and really apprecaiate the encouraging post. Good job! It gives me hope that there are people such as yourself.
morecatslady

ariannedavis

I want to point out two commercials that I love. Dove & Slim Fast use REAL women... pay attention next time you see one. Dove is on a campaign to use real women. I just noticed the slim fast commercial talking about a flat stomach and looked up expecting to see a six-pack. No such thing! Apparently I am nearing their definiton of a flat stomach and I still have over 25lbs to go. It will take time for the healthy body to take back the spotlight, but we are headed in the right direction!

icandoit

I want to point out two commercials that I love. Dove & Slim Fast use REAL women... pay attention next time you see one. Dove is on a campaign to use real women. I just noticed the slim fast commercial talking about a flat stomach and looked up expecting to see a six-pack. No such thing! Apparently I am nearing their definiton of a flat stomach and I still have over 25lbs to go. It will take time for the healthy body to take back the spotlight, but we are headed in the right direction!

Dove & Slim Fast use REAL women:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Cowboy

My hip bones showing

What? Do these ladies really think that guys like that? Every man I know likes curves on their girlfriend/wife. In fact, once, I was laying on my side next to my husband after we had first married...he said "Wow Jess, you have some BIG hips". I INSTANTLY took that comment as an insult. He said "No no no...that's a GOOD thing...I love it."

Just goes to show that there are many men out there that appreciate curves, and many women out there that don't realize it.

You said it!
Cowboy

Cowboy

"It’s a guy thing.
Have you noticed that at formal functions that the men all dress alike. If woman show up in the same thing they freak out. Men look around and are glad that they all look alike. That way they feel like “OK I did it right”. :bigsmile:
:flowerforyou:
- Loretta_Jo

Hey, are you in our heads!:laugh:
My wife thinks I'm a "Ken Doll" She just lays out what matches and I wear it. We've worked it out so that on weekends, I get my ratty jeans and flannel shirt, but when I go to work, she's got me all matched just right! What would I do without her?
Cowboy

filergirl

mehughes,
You're VERY wise in what you have posted here about being yourself and that will attract the right person for you. How'd you get so smart? Your upbringing and parents taught you well, thank God. It's inspiring to know someone in their twenties is this wise about themselves. I'm 54 years old and really apprecaiate the encouraging post. Good job! It gives me hope that there are people such as yourself.
morecatslady

Hey, thanks. That's very nice of you to say. I have enjoyed your posts as well. I am fortunate to have good parents -- tough, but good. They are quite strict and I never really discuss relationships with either of them (my dad still asks that my boyfriend sleep in a separate room when he is visiting). I feel a lot of his views are antiquated, but the sad thing is that deep down I know he's right.

The self esteem stuff was difficult for me. I was teased mercilessly in schoo. People said I was ugly -- and worse. When I complained that I would do anything to trade places with the "popular" girls, my dad responded by making up a song called "I want to be me." I actually have a tape of him doing it, like faking around on the keyboard and stuff, and dancing around the room shouting "I, I, I I WANNA BE ME, ME, ME, CAUSE I CAN 'T BE YOU, YOU, YOU I CAN ONLY BE ME, ME ME, SO YOU YOU YOU LET ME BE ME ME ME I CAN ONLY BE I I I I DON'T WANT TO BE YOU YOU YOU ---

Ad naseum. I used to get sick of hearing it. Annoyed my mother too. But it's kind of always going around in my head. . .

I learned my dad was right when I fell in love -- big love, the kind that happens in your early twenties -- and got my heart broken badly. I realized I'd been trying everything to "get" him, except for being myself. When I did that, I realized that he was not the person I wanted at all. . .

I think the heart's truest desire can only come from the deepest and most authetic part of a person's character. This is what you have after your youth and your beauty is gone. My outer appearance, the petty details of my life, are water running over rock. The rock is a person's core -- what she's made of.

I'd like to bring sexy back. I'd like to get married and have a nice-looking front door, a high-glossy black that I would stand in front of intelligently while seeing my children off to school. Preferably this would also be on the French Riviera and then I would go back to bed.

So I don't really fear growing old and not finding the right person, and ending up alone. So long as I have my soul intact, all is well.

Sorry, I wrote a novel again! Brownies are burning! Ack!

Cowboy

God bless your dad! You have no reason to worry about your looks. You are a very pretty young girl...and on your way to being a very wise woman. My wife is right, you should be very proud of yourself.
Cowboy

filergirl

LOL! I haven't had anyone call me a girl in awhile! I will be 29 in April!

lizard9800

I think the bottom line is wear what you are comfortable in, my wife gets on me all the time.."are you going out in that?" I reply. "Yes." "But it doesn't match." I look at myself, one shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of shoes, whats the problem. "But people will not like it." My attitude is "screw 'em." I don't dress for them I dress for me. I am clean, neat no holes, stains or disagreable odors, hence none of there business how I dress. Now I am not saying to dress in something so outragious as to draw large amounts of attention to ones self, but if a pocket 't' and jeans makes you feel good, wear them. Also at work you do need to conform to the dress norm your employer expects but only if you have to keep the job.:bigsmile:

That is one of the funniest things I've heard in a while! I'm female and I think that way all the time! Who wants to be uncomfortable all day or night long? (I do match though ) My boyfriend told me at the beginning of our relationship that one of the things he appreciated about me the most is that I am not "Girl-y". No makeup (except for special occasions, and even then he rolls his eyes..). Not afraid to get dirty (why doesn't everyone know how much fun that can be?) Of course he is smart enough to fully appreciate me in a skirt/dress...

Our funny thing is that sometime ago he decided that I was a super hero - Non Color Blind Girl. Most days he is dressed and at work before I even get out of bed (yes!) but on certain occasions he will yell for Non Color Blind Girl and I come to rescue. I may be a former tomboy but I still have style...

Amen to everyone who realizes that stick thin is not healthy or attractive. Growing up I was always one of the most athletic girls in school and my friends were the pretty skinny type. Now I live in one of the outdoor capitals of the west and my muscles/athleticism shallow in comparison to other women. How do you compete with Olympians, or the only woman (the only person actually) to climb and ski the top seven mountains in the world? You don't! You don't even try... but they are very positive and healthy role models. I am lucky to live in a place where some meat on your bones isn't viewed as a bad thing. Guys are just thinking "She has some solid arms... I bet she can rock climb!"

webebeer

icandoit I just have a question isn't "looking sexy on the back of my husbands harley" the same as looking hot at a party? In your profile you mention this. Just wondering??????????????
wendy

icandoit

No, I am doing this for me. I want to lose weight and look good. I want to be healthy. And when I reach my goal, however long it takes, I will look good and I will look good on the back of his Harley. If you also look, that was the last reason on my list. First was for me, my family, my health. That is just the way I feel I will look. Right now-to many bumps and hills on this body for leather.
So, no I think is not the same at all.

stapesgirl

it's so unfortunate that being young so often means that others opinions of you, matter more than your own, or totally influence your own.

as we get older...(and because of this, i've alsolutely LOVED getting older), we come into our own, and things become more about "us". it's such a releif to be taking whatever actions i take because "I" want to, and not because someone or something in fads dictate that i should. it makes me feel like my mind is all mine...lol.

terri

RIGHT ON!!! ME TOO!!

bbgoodwin

After reading all this, going back to the first post, I am one of those people who IS doing it for themself. I like how I feel when I am in shape, and healthy. Right now I am not in shape, and I feel yuckie. This in the ONLY reason why I am doing this. Looks, weight loss and the rest are a byproduct of the process. State of mind and health are #1 in my books.
Cheers.

Smilineyes

My hip bones showing

What? Do these ladies really think that guys like that? Every man I know likes curves on their girlfriend/wife. In fact, once, I was laying on my side next to my husband after we had first married...he said "Wow Jess, you have some BIG hips". I INSTANTLY took that comment as an insult. He said "No no no...that's a GOOD thing...I love it."

Just goes to show that there are many men out there that appreciate curves, and many women out there that don't realize it.

Yeah my boyfriend loves my big hips lol! He's told me so many times that he can't stand stick figure women. He supports me losing weight as a health thing. And he's put on a few pounds so we're both trying to get HEALTHY together. Girls out there, find a man that loves you as you are and supports you. Don't go for little boys who don't know what they want. That's all I have to say

Kelsey

Healthier_Me

icandoit I just have a question isn't "looking sexy on the back of my husbands harley" the same as looking hot at a party? In your profile you mention this. Just wondering??????????????
wendy

Looking hot at a party AKA having hip bones showing ... same person wanting these things.
Looking sexy on the back of her husbands Harley at a healthy weight is NOT the same.

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

Cowboy

Apples & Oranges
Cowboy

Healthier_Me

are yummy:laugh:

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

wibrown

Icandoit

I whole heartedly agree with with you. I am doing this for me maybe even a bigger reason, my health.
my doctor keeps telling my my now 292 lbs is very unhealthy. I keep telling her that "I know". So on to my point, I have a few co-workers that are maybe 100lbs complain that they are fat. I roll my eyes and think if you think you are fat have you looked at me. I get so tired of hearing skinny (stick thin) women say that they need to lose weight. If they have a health problem that is one thing but they need to stop say stupid things like I want guys to notice me. HELLO I want to lose weight so guys notice me but that is not my primary reason for losing (it's a bonus). Some people really need to look at themselves and find out what is really important no matter what size they are.


Thanks for letting me vent even if it didn't make sense.
Nikki