Do your friends have a right to judge you….and you, them?

quichebradford
quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
If you have a profile pic posted, (this goes for any social networking site, not just MFP) and your friend told you it was “unflattering”, would you be upset? Obviously YOU think the pic is fine, which is why you posted it, but what if you hear from your friend(s) that the pic isn’t the best representation of you?

Or, flip the script. Would YOU tell a friend if they had a photo that wasn’t right? If so, then how would you say it without offending them?
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Replies

  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    u r a drama mamma
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    im anxious to hear responses. i have a few MFP and FB friends with profile pics that are not the best. I think they are capable of way better and more classy!

    I think it depends on the friend. i have a few friends in my personal life that i can say anything to and its fine. then there are those "friends" that get all bajiggity if you say anything to them that is not in line with what they think. therefore they are not my true "friends" anyway.

    But i have a policy with my friends. If you ask me Im gonna tell you.
  • Random_Name
    Random_Name Posts: 77
    I don't care about pictures. If I'm not in them or no one is having sex, then who gives a *kitten*?
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    I don't have any friends that are easily offended. I just tell them. "Dude, your profile picture suuuuuuuuuucks." I don't hang out with people that find drama necessary.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    Where I am, mentally, right now... if anyone told me anything about me was unflattering I think I'd knock them out. Yea, definitely.
  • shesblossoming
    shesblossoming Posts: 426
    It depends on the friend. If they can take it like a man, and I know it, I tell them, "Hey, dude, what about this pic as your profile?" If I know someone can't, I just bear it and grin.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I would hope that one of my friends or one of my sisters would tell me. I know I've had some pics where I think I look good, and my younger sister will text me and say, "not really your best shot", and I'll change it. I really do appreciate that kind of feedback.

    In regards to telling someone else, it would totally depend on what level of friendship we have. I would tell one of my sisters or one of my close friends. Not so sure I would tell an old high school friend on FB who I haven't seen in years, though. Now, if you ask me, I'll tell you the truth (not brutal honesty, just honesty).
  • LivLovLrn
    LivLovLrn Posts: 580 Member
    I guess it depends if it is coming from a true friend, some one who knows you well and cares about you, or just an acquaintance who doesn't really know you that well. If it is coming from a true friend, take the comment with the love and concern it was given in and respond accordingly. If not, ignore it and go about your business.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
    I would be upset... this is a place for support, not judgement.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
    I would not be offended because I don't offend easily, but I only have one or two people I would tell that their pic is unflattering.... And a few that would cut me off if I did. Oh wait, she already did.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I have the phrase "*kitten* off* on verbal speed dial.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I would not care at all if someone told me they dont like my profile pics,be it freind,family,or stranger. I also tell someone if i thought their pic was not very flattering but only if they asked what I thought of it
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    I'd rather my friend/sister/mom tell me kindly then for other people to be looking at it and judging me. I'd probably have my feelings a little hurt at first but be thankful later. Unless they are saying it out of jealousy. Then they can piss off.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I would be upset... this is a place for support, not judgement.

    Telling someone you think their profile pic is unflattering is not judgment,its an opinion.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I don't have any friends that are easily offended. I just tell them. "Dude, your profile picture suuuuuuuuuucks." I don't hang out with people that find drama necessary.

    Being your friend I have to tell you.. Your taste in sporting teams suuuuuuuck :-) No wonder you love to brew beer ;-) (I can't say much I'm a KC Chiefs, KC Royals and Detroit Lions fan :-( )
  • papa5280
    papa5280 Posts: 80
    I think I'd be more sensitive to the issue here then on other social networking sites. If someone felt like they had achieved an improvement, and posted a new pic they thought demonstrated that, they might be devastated by a comment that the pic was unflattering. Kinda the opposite of supportive, in that situation.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    I have the phrase "*kitten* off* on verbal speed dial.

    The eloquence of Q.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
    I don't usually mention anything to people. They can put up whatever pic they want & if they like it then who cares. If someone told me they thought my pic was not good I guess I would feel a little bad. I try to use pics that make me look the best I can. I wouldn't get mad or hold it against them though.
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
    Not really sure how telling someone that the pic of them is unflattering is so offensive? It isn't like you are telling them that they don't look good... an "unflattering pic" is just that... one that is not portraying them as they are.

    If I had a "friend" that took offense to someone pointing out "hey, that pic isn't very good of you... you look better than that", then I'd not be friends with them long.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    I don't care about pictures. If I'm not in them or no one is having sex, then who gives a *kitten*?

    This would be my answer as well.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I would be upset... this is a place for support, not judgement.

    Telling someone you think their profile pic is unflattering is not judgment,its an opinion.

    ^^^This. You're not judging a friend; you're telling them that you know they look better than what they do in that particular picture.
  • MrsRadder
    MrsRadder Posts: 207 Member
    My picture is my body, I put my bathing suit on at the end of every month and take a photo. I have it up to remind myself of what I look like and my goals. It has nothing to do with anyone else, it's my health my fitness and my body. Who cares?
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    As for pictures, if someone tells me I'll re-evaluate the picture. If I agree it'd get removed, if not I'd keep it. People like different things, I expect people to be honest to me.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:

    You contributed nothing here.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I don't have any friends that are easily offended. I just tell them. "Dude, your profile picture suuuuuuuuuucks." I don't hang out with people that find drama necessary.

    LOVE this!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,022 Member
    Especially on an internet forum, if someone that you've really never met said something and you take it personally, then I think you have thin skin and are too wrapped up on cyberspace. Wasting energy and time on people's opinions who really have no impact on your life should be the least of your worries.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    If you have a profile pic posted, (this goes for any social networking site, not just MFP) and your friend told you it was “unflattering”, would you be upset? Obviously YOU think the pic is fine, which is why you posted it, but what if you hear from your friend(s) that the pic isn’t the best representation of you?

    Or, flip the script. Would YOU tell a friend if they had a photo that wasn’t right? If so, then how would you say it without offending them?

    the reason i joined mfp and tried to change my lifestyle was because of jokes about my weight and appearance from friends, who i laughed with at the time but deep down it cut into me so bad i couldn't sleep at night. ironic thing is, they weren't in anywhere near great shape themselves...but I'll have my day in the sun because we will meet again soon ( we meet every year as we are all in different countries around the world), and i know for sure it will be ME thats making the snide remarks to THEM...and they won't have a leg to stand on when I do. I'm counting the days until that can happen.

    To answer your question: if we all took offence to what people say, then you have to ask yourself who you really want to please..if they don't matter then why punish yourself unnecessarily?
  • lallaloolly
    lallaloolly Posts: 228 Member
    this is just looking for unnecessary drama. if someone said that to you, and you don't agree, ignore them. if you can't ignore them, simply tell them they're free to have their own opinion (which they are) but you wouldn't have put it up if there wasn't something about it you liked, and your opinion matters more.

    if you are looking to tell a friend this - why would you go out of your way to try and change his/her view of him/herself to something negative? they obviously like the picture, their opinion matters more than yours when it comes to their own profile... leave it alone. if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Yes, my friends do have the right to judge me, have an opinion and express that opinion to me if they so wish. Being my friends I hope they would provide their views in a positive and constructive way even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

    Everyone "judges" all the time. How you express or convey that judgment is an entirely separate matter.
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