Do your friends have a right to judge you….and you, them?

2

Replies

  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    My friends are all adults. They can put up whatever they want, not my business.



    Now if it's an unflattering pic of me, they had better not put it up.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:

    You contributed nothing here.


    My bad. NO, I would not be offended and I would only tell someone if they asked for a brutally honest opinion.... And, I still think this, like many other posts made by the OP was pretty controversial (but fun, too). :tongue: There. Happy now?
  • Aj1214
    Aj1214 Posts: 120
    I think "judge" may be the wrong word. My friends are allowed (and encouraged) to call me out on any and all BS.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:
  • papa5280
    papa5280 Posts: 80
    I would be upset... this is a place for support, not judgement.

    Telling someone you think their profile pic is unflattering is not judgment,its an opinion.

    ^^^This. You're not judging a friend; you're telling them that you know they look better than what they do in that particular picture.

    Except, if it's someone you've never actually met face to face, maybe this pic is the best they can look. Then, what you're telling them is "you can't possibly really be as ugly as you are". At least, that's how they might hear it.
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    Saying a picture in not flattering is another way of saying "You really look better than that picture makes you appear".

    If you disagree I think it's about time for you to admit that "Does this make my butt look fat?" is not an honest question,.... it's a trap.
  • Aj1214
    Aj1214 Posts: 120
    I have a blanket policy on such traps--spring them.
  • SNOWMAN101750
    SNOWMAN101750 Posts: 9 Member
    GOOD ONE
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    I would say you're making great progress. Your zombie transformation is almost complete.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    I don't care about pictures. If I'm not in them or no one is having sex, then who gives a *kitten*?

    I think you meant 'into them' as in attracted to them...but I'm going to take what you said as you said it since that phrase is WAY funnier.

    As for the pictures, I think you're making something out of nothing. If someone tells you that, and you care about their opinion (if you don't I don't care I don't expect you'd be posting this) take a good look at your picture and decide for yourself. At that point either change it or don't and move on. With telling other people, again, look at the circumstances. Do you honestly think changing the picture to something more flattering would improve the person in any way (be it make them more confident, have less people talk negatively about them, whatever). If yes, consider the person you want to tell. If that person can take criticism constructively, then say something. If not...let it go.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    I would say you're making great progress. Your zombie transformation is almost complete.

    Its the newest fad diet just eat lots and lots of brains,and you get lots of cardio chasing down those pesky brain containers
  • Aj1214
    Aj1214 Posts: 120
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    I would say you're making great progress. Your zombie transformation is almost complete.

    Its the newest fad diet just eat lots and lots of brains,and you get lots of cardio chasing down those pesky brain containers

    Ignore the lit canisters.
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
    Ummm....yeah. I completed the 7th grade LONG ago....which is around the age most people get over this petty kind of bs.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    I have the phrase "*kitten* off* on verbal speed dial.

    The eloquence of Q.

    epic.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    Especially on an internet forum, if someone that you've really never met said something and you take it personally, then I think you have thin skin and are too wrapped up on cyberspace. Wasting energy and time on people's opinions who really have no impact on your life should be the least of your worries.


    100% agree and don't really give a ***** what anyone on a Public Forum thinks of me or my pic :ohwell: I'm not into Cliques (sp) and don't NEED to be in anyone's Group.

    BTW, Great Topic! :flowerforyou:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    the reason i joined mfp and tried to change my lifestyle was because of jokes about my weight and appearance from friends, who i laughed with at the time but deep down it cut into me so bad i couldn't sleep at night. ironic thing is, they weren't in anywhere near great shape themselves...but I'll have my day in the sun because we will meet again soon ( we meet every year as we are all in different countries around the world), and i know for sure it will be ME thats making the snide remarks to THEM...and they won't have a leg to stand on when I do. I'm counting the days until that can happen.

    To answer your question: if we all took offence to what people say, then you have to ask yourself who you really want to please..if they don't matter then why punish yourself unnecessarily?
    Off topic here, but DUDE where'd you get your ticker? I want one!!!
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    If you have a profile pic posted, (this goes for any social networking site, not just MFP) and your friend told you it was “unflattering”, would you be upset? Obviously YOU think the pic is fine, which is why you posted it, but what if you hear from your friend(s) that the pic isn’t the best representation of you?

    Or, flip the script. Would YOU tell a friend if they had a photo that wasn’t right? If so, then how would you say it without offending them?

    To answer your Topic: YES, anyone has a RIGHT to judge whomever they choose. Judgment, SOUND Judgment is one of the most important factors we have in our lives; it helps us make good or bad decisions and choices, it help us determine what our Values are, and it helps us stay Safe or Not. Judgment is super important, and most of those judgments center around people in-or who come into our lives. NOW, to Judge someone to Hell (what the Bible is talking about) is a whole different matter...No one has the Ability to do that...ONLY the ONE who can discern the heart and actions.

    Relative to a picture...to Me that seems such a "trivial" matter. If YOU like the pic of yourself, go with it. People usually say and do what they feel "BIG" enough to say and do (as My Grandmother would say.) Heck, the other day I cut my hair and my Sister said, "Never cut your hair like that again..." I just looked at her and smiled; I LOVE my hair short, and have NO INTENTIONS of listening to her. But why should I start a BIG "Conversation" over What I Control! I am confident enough and Independent enough to make my own choices without defending or feeling that I have to defend them to anyone. If you feel that YOU have sound judgment on certain matters then go with what you feel or know. And yes...I might comment on someone's hair, dressing, photo, lover, partner, child...to them or to someone else. But that's MY Opinion and it's My Right..."WE" do stuff like that as Human Beings; I'm sure You do too.
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:

    (stands at podium waving and blowing kisses) I would like to thank all of you....I do this for YOU! :laugh:
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:

    (stands at podium waving and blowing kisses) I would like to thank all of you....I do this for YOU! :laugh:

    I love that you got it. Thank goodness YOU have a sense of humor. Big hugs and props to you!!! :smooched:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    :smile:
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    .....at least you're not flipping me off anymore!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I don't really believe in "rights" in that sense. People say what they say, how you take it and whether you want to be friends with people who say certain things is up to you. Friendship is about give and take and mutual respect. Not rights.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    :smile:
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    .....at least you're not flipping me off anymore!

    I never had a profile pic where i was fliping the bird..lol i think you have me confused with someone else usally my pics are my shoes
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    and winner for most controversial poster goes to........ drum roll, please................................................ OP!!! :drinker:

    (stands at podium waving and blowing kisses) I would like to thank all of you....I do this for YOU! :laugh:

    I love you, Kesha!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    :smile:
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    .....at least you're not flipping me off anymore!

    I never had a profile pic where i was fliping the bird..lol i think you have me confused with someone else usally my pics are my shoes

    You're so right.....I was thinking of someone else. (and it was an inside joke). Sorry!
  • Random_Name
    Random_Name Posts: 77
    I don't care about pictures. If I'm not in them or no one is having sex, then who gives a *kitten*?
    I think you meant 'into them' as in attracted to them...but I'm going to take what you said as you said it since that phrase is WAY funnier.

    No, I meant exactly what I said.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Do I look like I care?
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    :smile:
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    .....at least you're not flipping me off anymore!

    I never had a profile pic where i was fliping the bird..lol i think you have me confused with someone else usally my pics are my shoes

    You're so right.....I was thinking of someone else. (and it was an inside joke). Sorry!


    Well its not like it would be all that shocking if I did have one,I just figured I wouldnt be able to get away with it here
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    :smile:
    SO how do you like my profile pic hahahahaha I find it very flattering:wink:

    .....at least you're not flipping me off anymore!

    I never had a profile pic where i was fliping the bird..lol i think you have me confused with someone else usally my pics are my shoes

    You're so right.....I was thinking of someone else. (and it was an inside joke). Sorry!


    Well its not like it would be all that shocking if I did have one,I just figured I wouldnt be able to get away with it here

    I do like your shoes, though!
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
    i wouldnt tell people their picture isnt good unless they ask, cause its THEIR profile, not mine, therefore if they think it looks good then more power to them

    now if you dont like my pictures, thats cool if you tell me...but im not gonna change them. :tongue:
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Yes and no. Well maybe, sometimes.
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