hello everyone im not exactly new here but i have a few ques

alapoint89

so i have a super stressful day every single day with my kiddos fighting over who gets mommy lol and they are 3 and 2.5m old. what can i do to relieve this, i dont have time to bath but i do take warm showers for a short period of time. also what are your advice on losing weight and gaining muscle fast, i want to do it by next june so i look good in a bikini and dont feel humiliated by my looks. i also need help with my self esteem levels because im 5'1 171.4 22years old and im supposed to be 120 or less to be averaged some advice would be great.

mmmichelle8486

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. It is only 28 minutes a day of working out, and it took 4 inches off my belly in a little over a month's time. I am a busy mom as well... 3 year old twins and a 1 1/2 year old girl. :)

Libby81

I can't answer the kiddies question because I have no clue but I will say for self esteem, don't be ashamed of how you look. You're really pretty and you're a really lovely person

cometnurse

5 min of meditation goes a LONG way! I have four kiddos 11,9,8,6 Take a few minutes and just breath and clear your mind. If you can get up before them and get your workout in that will help too.

xinahay123

First off, be kind to yourself! You will do better if you eliminate all the negative self talk about your appearance ( I am making an assumption about this, but most of us are not kind to ourselves when we feel heavy). Make time for you, remember that whatever things time that you take to improve yourself is good for your kids. I am a busy mom of 3 kids, and Yoga really helps me to find my happy place!! I prefer an intense power yoga, so I get in a good workout too!
I also make my workout time "me time", I joined a gym that has child care on sight, so the kiddos are safe and happy while I get my daily sweat on!
As far as gaining muscle, and loosing fat, you have to eat right, lift weights, do adequate cardio and get enough protein!!

Good Luck! You can do it!

alapoint89

i dont have money to buy any of those dvds let alone a dvd player.
libby: i dont ever seem to feel pretty because of my life i get let down so much in life since a baby that it took a tole on my self esteem when it comes to my looks and thank you i do my best to be a wonderful person but that doesnt ever and will never get me far in life

chevy88grl

You have to make time for you. Plain and simple. Otherwise, you'll be useless to the kids because you are burned out, stressed out and at the end of your rope.

Put the baby in his/her crib and put the older child somewhere safe (in their room with a gate works) and go take a bath. No, you don't have to take an hour in there. But, by all means - take some "you" time. When the baby goes down for a nap, make it "quiet time" with the older child. Again, have him/her go into their room and play quietly, watch tv, or look at books. Then you do your workout.

As for self esteem - it's a tricky thing. I'm at my goal weight and I still have days when I feel disgusted with myself. Getting your self esteem back on track takes time and it isn't just about your body. It's a mental thing too.


Take Care of you.

alapoint89

i try to do all of that my 3 year old goes to bed at 8pm and my 2and a half month old stays up all day and sleeps from 11-7or9 and i try to do showers but i get about 5 minutes in before shes screaming

alapoint89

i also eat very healthy and from all the food groups i just cant stand meat unless its fish or just seafood but i eat it

agalick

I think alot of women resonate with your experience. I think self-esteem issues women tend to feel are not a product of something wrong with you inside, but a result of the messages we receive from our society about what it means to be a woman, specifically a beautiful, attractive woman as this seems to top the list of self-worth. I feel the same sometimes, like I would be much happier if I was 120 pounds, but I'm not so sure....it's like wanting to be rich and then you see how all the celebrities who have it all seem to be even unhappier than the rest of us. Hang in there and try to focus on the things that really matter and make you a great woman like being a great mother and a kind and caring person

mmmichelle8486

I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for as far as an answer goes then. If you can't workout with a dvd and you are doing what the other posters suggested, I'm not sure what else could be said? And you will get way further ahead in life being a wonderful person than being thin, so just be who you are and do it with your head held high.

alapoint89

thank you

Libby81

i dont have money to buy any of those dvds let alone a dvd player.
libby: i dont ever seem to feel pretty because of my life i get let down so much in life since a baby that it took a tole on my self esteem when it comes to my looks and thank you i do my best to be a wonderful person but that doesnt ever and will never get me far in life

Hey less of that please!!!. You'll get a lot further with your personality than anyone being mean and you'll always have peopel around you fro support whenever, because people want to be nice back. Try and work on accepting yourself, you'll feel much better in the long run. You have so much to be proud of

alapoint89

sometimes i dont feel like i have support because i dont have my parents to help me and i dont have my husbands parents for support to help me i only have my wonderful friends on here to help me get threw the tough times because i dont feel like making my husband cranky talking about how crappy i feel and i have been trying to accept who i really am but its way hard

newmrswood

Alyssa your husband is there for you and your family. When you get married you take eachother with the good and the bad. This means you are allowed to be both the listener and the talker. When you don't talk and keep things bottled up it puts a strain on you and him. I recommend talking to him. It's great that you have us to talk to but he's actually there and has more of an understanding than everyone else and there is amore of a connection.

alapoint89

he gets upset when i talk about how large i feel i am and how much stress im under

kimfield99

alapoint - When I first finished school an dwas getting in shape I didn't have access to a gym, etc. I found a few books on pilates at the library and used those to get a handle on how I could do some exercise without any financial outlay. The local library should have a ton of resource sin terms of exercise plans to help you build muscle and its free! When i needed to add weight I filled empty gallon milk containers with water. a gallon of water weighs about 5 lbs. You can use the containers to do basic bicep curls and other weigh trianing type of activities. For cardio you have some built in motivators - play tag with your three year old, show him or her how to play hopscotch, soccer or how to hula hoop. Being active, even moderately, will help. Hope this helps.

tyedyelady

find a way to incorporate lavender scents into your daily or nightly rituals. I dont really care for the smell of lavendar myself but i keep a lavendar defuser by my bed - it really helps me relax and i heard another woman tell me she takes a quick before bed shower with lavendar scented body soap and she finds it very relaxing. good luck with the stress and the battle of the bulge!

alapoint89

i dont have a yard or a way to the park but i can figure something out maybe thats a good point

newmrswood

When it comes to how your feeling and how it affects your life he has to suck it up, it's part of loving you.

alapoint89

he does suck it up lol but i can see it and i dont like it

23wife

I had 3 kids in 3.5 years so I totally know how you're feeling! Your day is overly stressful and you barely have enough time to get all of your normal stuff done, much less something just for you (like a nice long bath!). It's hard. Really hard. It DOES get easier as they get older, though. A few suggestions for exercise: go for a walk! Make your 3 year old walk and put the baby in a stroller. And walk! It will tire your kids out and I find that being outside makes me feel better overall. You'll be getting some exercise and out of the house. It will make a huge difference!

The other suggestion is check out www.exercisetv.com = they have TONS of free exercise videos online. I don't know who you have for cable/satellite but most of the time there's an exercise channel- check it out! I was surprised at how many shows they have. They also normally offer a ton of shows on-demand for you to start and stop whenever you want.

Also ... like the other members have said...your self esteem seems pretty low. Which I get because I've been there. Once you start doing something for yourself - something as simple as a walk - you'll find that you start feeling better about yourself pretty quickly. Taking as little as 10 minutes a day for yourself goes a LONG way.

Tropical_Turtle

As I was once told - BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

alapoint89

i dont watch or have tv because i dont want to be a couch potatoe lol

Libby81

Is there a toddler or baby group or something similar near you where you can take the little ones and get some adult interaction with other people in the same position.

newmrswood

Your workout routine isn't a problem, your constantly telling me about your workouts! I think you just need to find some "ME" time and find a way to bring your self-esteem up

alapoint89

no

alapoint89

and prolly heather but with two kids that drive me nuts mommy this mommy that and nonstop crying you dont really have me time till they are about 1 or in school

newmrswood

That's what nap time is for lol

sarapete

I don't think this will help with our overall concern but I just wanted to add:

You can get work-out DVDs, VHS, DVD/VHS players and even TVs at your local second hand store (GoodWill, church stores, etc). You can play DVDs on a computer. Also as others said you can get videos for free on-line. I actually just got weights at a church second hand store. Rummages are also great. If you don't have a car... walk or use public transportation. Depending on your need some places will give you vouchers and you do not need to pay for anything from the second hand store. You do not need to be religious to utilize the resource.

alapoint89

i dont have time for naps neither of my kids take naps which makes thing hard