hello everyone im not exactly new here but i have a few ques

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  • 23wife
    23wife Posts: 57 Member
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    I had 3 kids in 3.5 years so I totally know how you're feeling! Your day is overly stressful and you barely have enough time to get all of your normal stuff done, much less something just for you (like a nice long bath!). It's hard. Really hard. It DOES get easier as they get older, though. A few suggestions for exercise: go for a walk! Make your 3 year old walk and put the baby in a stroller. And walk! It will tire your kids out and I find that being outside makes me feel better overall. You'll be getting some exercise and out of the house. It will make a huge difference!

    The other suggestion is check out www.exercisetv.com = they have TONS of free exercise videos online. I don't know who you have for cable/satellite but most of the time there's an exercise channel- check it out! I was surprised at how many shows they have. They also normally offer a ton of shows on-demand for you to start and stop whenever you want.

    Also ... like the other members have said...your self esteem seems pretty low. Which I get because I've been there. Once you start doing something for yourself - something as simple as a walk - you'll find that you start feeling better about yourself pretty quickly. Taking as little as 10 minutes a day for yourself goes a LONG way.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    As I was once told - BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    i dont watch or have tv because i dont want to be a couch potatoe lol
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    Is there a toddler or baby group or something similar near you where you can take the little ones and get some adult interaction with other people in the same position.
  • newmrswood
    newmrswood Posts: 194
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    Your workout routine isn't a problem, your constantly telling me about your workouts! I think you just need to find some "ME" time and find a way to bring your self-esteem up
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    no
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    and prolly heather but with two kids that drive me nuts mommy this mommy that and nonstop crying you dont really have me time till they are about 1 or in school
  • newmrswood
    newmrswood Posts: 194
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    That's what nap time is for lol
  • sarapete
    sarapete Posts: 1
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    I don't think this will help with our overall concern but I just wanted to add:

    You can get work-out DVDs, VHS, DVD/VHS players and even TVs at your local second hand store (GoodWill, church stores, etc). You can play DVDs on a computer. Also as others said you can get videos for free on-line. I actually just got weights at a church second hand store. Rummages are also great. If you don't have a car... walk or use public transportation. Depending on your need some places will give you vouchers and you do not need to pay for anything from the second hand store. You do not need to be religious to utilize the resource.
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    i dont have time for naps neither of my kids take naps which makes thing hard
  • elfy66
    elfy66 Posts: 138 Member
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    I know how you feel, it's hard to take time out and often when they're in bed you're too exhausted to do anything else! What I would suggest is that you take them out - maybe to the park? - of not at least on a walk, you'll get some fresh air and so will they and hopefully they'll sleep better. I work at home with children and I know how tiring it can be, even doing jobs around the house is difficult because as soon as you start something there is a problem, or a nappy, or a snack to make or a game to play. It's easy to say you need to find "me time" and everyone would agree this is the ideal. As they get older you can start to introduce habits to allow you that time.

    I would suggest a song and dance session. Get some scarves (to wave about) and make some simple shakers out of empty jars, boxes -anything - put some music on (if you have some tapes or cds of nursery rhymes all the better if not the radio will do) and sing and dance around. Repetition is key for children so if you can find something to tape, its better. If you send me your email, I can send you some (British!) nursery and action rhymes that should go down well. This has the added advantage of educating your kids and giving you a bit of cardio into the bargain

    start slow, who said Rome wasn't built in a day? And neither is your ideal body :)

    LovEllen x
  • Iwillshyne
    Iwillshyne Posts: 245
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    i dont have money to buy any of those dvds let alone a dvd player.
    libby: i dont ever seem to feel pretty because of my life i get let down so much in life since a baby that it took a tole on my self esteem when it comes to my looks and thank you i do my best to be a wonderful person but that doesnt ever and will never get me far in life


    Walking and jogging is free! Start there. I walk my kids over to the park in our neighborhood, and while they play I strap on my hand/ankle weights and walk/jog around the park. (not sure if your kids are old enough to be left unsupervised tho, so sorry in adv)

    Also, try youtube.com, There are thousands of videos for you to try. From Taebo to P90X!

    Hope this help!

    Best wishes!
  • nettie1969
    nettie1969 Posts: 107
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    Me time ... biggest issue ever for a mum. You haven't said much about your hubby here but can I suggest a different tack. when you talk to him about how you feel don't talk about your weight as such ... start with the little things that he should be able to handle like "you don't feel confident about yourself" and let him know that you need his help and re-assurances. For example, acknowledge how hard he work (i assume he does) but that being a mum is quite hard too and would he mind watching the kids for an hour once week so you can do something (ie take that time out for yourself - a walk, a bath, visit a friend). It will give him some time with the kids too - which will only benefit them and him.

    So far as your self esteem goes ..there are lots of things you can do to help yourself. I also sound like you may have post-natal depression. Don't be afraid! You are awesome for reaching out and asking for help. There are ample free resources to help you and plenty of people here happy to spend their time reaching out to you.

    I struggled for many years with my self-esteem. I found my biggest problem was on focussing on what I couldn't do. It will take time and practice, but start thinking about all the things you can do. For example, when someone suggest the park and there is not one near you, instead of thinking "that won't work" thy thinking "That can work... now how can I change that to make it work for me?"

    Do you have a backpack or sling for the baby? if not, google baby sling to see how you can make one out of a sheet and carry the baby in it while you do housework or play with the older one. You would be surprised what a difference that will make - my little one only ever slept at night too but i found with the sling she would sleep in it quite happily for an hour during the day - giving me a little breathing space (that was when i would do my meditation).

    As previously suggested, youtube is also a fab place to get ideas of what you can do.

    I don't know where you live but surely there are free counselling groups in your area that can also provide tools and techniques to help you with your self esteem.

    All the best.
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    thank you netti1969 you have helped some just like all of you i feel a little better but still stressing idky but its just me i guess but well im trying i have some alone time right now but im so anxious for someone to wake up and keep me company lol cause i get bored easily but eh i have done all i can do for today and again thank you
  • STARSHINE1975
    STARSHINE1975 Posts: 182
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    No DVD player? No TV? No problem!

    You've obviously have a computer, so visit these sites and find some workouts you can do in a short time. =)

    http://www.exercisetv.tv/
    http://www.bodyrock.tv/
    http://www.diet.com/

    If you don't get some me time in, not only do you pay, but your kids pay too. Breathe and make a plan. Get up either before the kids, or see if dad can watch them for 30 minutes while you workout. Your husband might get distracted by watching you workout. lol.

    You are a beautiful girl. You just need to focus on what is going to better your life and your relationships. Getting some time in to exercise will help you destress as well as give you some time to spend on only mommy. When you do that, you will be more patient with the little ones and you will be healthier in the long run with less stress. Plan ahead!
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    ok i dont consider the exercising me time lol but my husband does watch them an hour or so a day so i can work out but its just not the me time i can do lol i just need a really hot nice shower that takes me more than 5 minuts
  • nettie1969
    nettie1969 Posts: 107
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    Then tell your hubby that .... pick a time and tell him you are going to be in the shower for the next 15 minutes and you do not want to be disturbed unless the house is burning down ..... Tell him you have "girly" stuff to do in there - he won't ask anymore questions!!!
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    haha he would know that its crap cause im no where near girly
  • nettie1969
    nettie1969 Posts: 107
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    Neither am I .... that's how I know it works lol I use the term "secret women's business" and he asked no more questions.
  • alapoint89
    alapoint89 Posts: 632
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    haha he would think im up to no good lol

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