Most people on here are lovely BUT..

veganbaum

I understand your frustration about negative comments - nobody likes them!

However, as you said yourself, people are stating "time and again" the obvious fact that most of the time you are way under your calorie target. I try hard not to write anything negative about your calorie intake, but I am concerned that you generally only have 60-70% of your targetted calorie intake.

If you feel your target is too high, then perhaps you should lower it? If you feel your target is about right, then perhaps you need to to do more to "achieve your target"? You're doing fabulous with your exercise, could you give the same focus to your food? You really don't need to eat junk food to up your calories.

I hope you'll take my comments as they're intended - as I would tell a friend to her face. Most important is that you keep yourself healthy!!

If this is indicative of the situation, it seems very plausible that people are concerned for your health. I would hope my friends would also express concern for my health if they observed behaviors that could be detrimental to it.

Qarol

I am never deliberately negative to my friends. That being said, negative is all relative. Catchy phrase, eh? I just made it up...

cnsmith2

The fact that you are generally attractive and slender already will make you a target for the heifers on here who can only dream of getting close to where you are :P

Yes... this is a wonderful attitude to take towards your future endeavors into the world of mental health.

NoAdditives

i feel like some people write discouraging, negative comments on your diary to maybe just make them selves feel better because they maybe over indulged that day.

Some people struggle to keep within their calorie target where as i (and many others) find it hard to eat our calories. I welcome helpful, positive, encouraging comments but i will start deleting people who point out the obvious time and time again because it just makes me want to take my diary off here and go it alone.

I am on a diet to lose weight...i will NOT eat junk food to up my calories nor will i eat when i do not feel hungry - end of.

Rant over - thanks for listening

To be fair, being under your calorie goal is just as unhealthy as being over your calorie goal. I for one, very rarely offer praise to anyone, because I do not blindly support and encourage behaviors that could be considered destructive and unhealthy. If you are eating (hypothetically, as I don't know your situation) 500 under the weight loss goal that MFP already gives you, and not eating back exercise calories, why would I praise that and encourage it? As for if they are mean about it, sometimes the truth hurts and tough love can be mean. Not everybody offers support by fawning. Some people give you the slap in the face you need.

I don't welcome a slap in th face..thank you.

Most people don't welcome it, but some people need it. I'm not saying whether you are in that category or not. I'm just giving my point of view on the topic at hand.

I agree. Some people need a harsher dose of honesty in order to actually understand the truth. And those of us who offer it don't do so to be mean or hurt feelings, we do it because we care. We care about the health of our friends here and don't support unhealthy habits. It doesn't mean we're rude, it means we're doing what's necessary to get through to people who don't otherwise listen.

jetsec

As I'm one of the people (or probably the person) you are talking about I think I should explain my comments.

You are eating between 600 - 800 calories a day and exercising most days. We all know the minimum calories we should be eating is 1200. If you come on a site such as this, which promotes healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle, make friends with people for support you, then why criticise when people are trying to help you? I have commented several times on your diary that you've made some great food choices but you really need to eat more calories. I have never said eat junk food or eat when you're not hungry but I will not post "well done", "great day" on someones diary when they've only eating 660 calories over a day, that is not healthy, is not good for you and as far as I'm concerned is not being a good friend or a good support, encouraging someone to eat at that level on a daily basis is wanting that person to fail, become ill or simply not caring.

The comments I make are not because I'm jealous or because I'm a heifer it's because I want to give the same support that I receive.

If you prefer "friends" who just say "woohoo well done" without reading what you are actually eating then please feel free to delete me.

Jayne

yanicka

oh so you want to starve yourself and get kuddos for it...there is probable pro-ana board where you would fit perfectly. Truth hurt???? Maybe time to reconsider what you are doing.

zoodalia

I deleted a guy for telling me how much bigger I looked in my new profile picture. He said 'maybe you didn't change it for a while because you were ashamed of your weight gain'. He also used to nag me about having my diary settings as private. When I finally asked him why he was so rude he said he was just 'honest', I found him consistently obnoxious, some people mask their inner anger claiming it's 'honesty'.

kimcat73

As I'm one of the people (or probably the person) you are talking about I think I should explain my comments.

You are eating between 600 - 800 calories a day and exercising most days. We all know the minimum calories we should be eating is 1200. If you come on a site such as this, which promotes healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle, make friends with people for support you, then why criticise when people are trying to help you? I have commented several times on your diary that you've made some great food choices but you really need to eat more calories. I have never said eat junk food or eat when you're not hungry but I will not post "well done", "great day" on someones diary when they've only eating 660 calories over a day, that is not healthy, is not good for you and as far as I'm concerned is not being a good friend or a good support, encouraging someone to eat at that level on a daily basis is wanting that person to fail, become ill or simply not caring.

The comments I make are not because I'm jealous or because I'm a heifer it's because I want to give the same support that I receive.

If you prefer "friends" who just say "woohoo well done" without reading what you are actually eating then please feel free to delete me.

Jayne

Well said Jayne!

dmpizza

If anyone bothers you, just block them.

bonjour24

reading this, it sounds like your behaviour goes against the ethos that MFP is trying to build in for all of us (being healthy and eating back some exercise cals). i often have friends who say 'hungry today?' when i go over, or ask if i'm ok if i go way under. i also have people who comment if i go over on sodium or any of my other dietary goals. i like having people looking out for me. i wouldn't expect people to be nice to me if i was consistently way over or way under on intake.
i think that if you don't want to have people comment on your dietary intake then don't have your diary public. we only can comment on what we see, and don't know you personally so don't know how you're choosing to manage your diet/exercise.
if you don't like what people consistently say, then delete those people. i'm sure they won't be too bothered.
and those people who are just saying 'good job' all the time for eating 600 cals a day and not eating any exercise cals back aren't really being very good in my opinion. it's the same as if i was netting 3000 calories a day- not healthy, and if people kept congratulating me on it i'd know they weren't the people i'd need around to help me achieve my goal.
maybe you need to think a little about what you want to achieve, and if a healthy site like this one is the best to help achieve those goals.

TheMaidOfAstolat

I've kept my food diary private pretty much since I joined. I eat fairly clean and it's low cal. I have always struggled to eat all my cals and I need to eat 1400 at least to gain muscle. I'd rather eat things that I know are full of nutrients and good things than some junk that will only fill me up for thirty minutes and then I'm starving. Do what you must. I've deleted 'friends' and I'm not sorry I did.

naomirog

oh so you want to starve yourself and get kuddos for it...there is probable pro-ana board where you would fit perfectly. Truth hurt???? Maybe time to reconsider what you are doing.

disgusting people like you make me sick with comments like that.

MrsBlobs

The fact that you are generally attractive and slender already will make you a target for those on here who can only dream of getting close to where you are :P

I see you deleted the heifer bit. That's something I guess.
I'm a heifer and I wouldn't dream of being less than supportive to anyone on here thanks.

OP - The thing is, are people being mean or are they trying to support you? The fact is that if you regulalrly go under you may plateau before you've reached your goal.
I genuinely hope you get there, but I also hope you do it healthily

10fairywings

i feel like some people write discouraging, negative comments on your diary to maybe just make them selves feel better because they maybe over indulged that day.

Some people struggle to keep within their calorie target where as i (and many others) find it hard to eat our calories. I welcome helpful, positive, encouraging comments but i will start deleting people who point out the obvious time and time again because it just makes me want to take my diary off here and go it alone.

I am on a diet to lose weight...i will NOT eat junk food to up my calories nor will i eat when i do not feel hungry - end of.

Rant over - thanks for listening

Awww horrid to be negative, who would ever suggest eating **** to get to your calories in what a stupid idea! Honey I struggle every day to get my calories in! It really depends what you eat and I am guessing you eat like me. I eat shed loads all day so I'm not hungry and if I am short well I am! Not much I can do, like you I won't just eat for the sake of it! I don't like losing too much weight in a week and monitor it carefully, but that's all you can do!

ajbeans

I would say something to a friend who was consistently eating such a low amount. Because it's not healthy, and I feel that being supportive means helping my friends reach their goals in a healthy, sustainable way. If I had a friend who consistently ate so little, I would delete them, not out of jealousy, but because I would assume they aren't concerned with their health. I can't support someone who wants to punish their body.

I don't say this to be mean to you, OP, because honestly I don't know you and I didn't look at your diary. Just going off the comments here and trying to explain what might be the motivation of your friends. They're not trying to tear you down, they're trying to build you up and help you be the healthiest you can be. Be grateful, and try to see where they're coming from and think about whether you might need to change your approach. Losing weight is awesome, but not at the expense of your health.

10fairywings

i feel like some people write discouraging, negative comments on your diary to maybe just make them selves feel better because they maybe over indulged that day.

Some people struggle to keep within their calorie target where as i (and many others) find it hard to eat our calories. I welcome helpful, positive, encouraging comments but i will start deleting people who point out the obvious time and time again because it just makes me want to take my diary off here and go it alone.

I am on a diet to lose weight...i will NOT eat junk food to up my calories nor will i eat when i do not feel hungry - end of.

Rant over - thanks for listening

To be fair, being under your calorie goal is just as unhealthy as being over your calorie goal. I for one, very rarely offer praise to anyone, because I do not blindly support and encourage behaviors that could be considered destructive and unhealthy (or even activities that are normal parts daily routines.) If you are eating (hypothetically, as I don't know your situation) 500 under the weight loss goal that MFP already gives you, and not eating back exercise calories, why would I praise that and encourage it? As for if they are mean about it, sometimes the truth hurts and tough love can be mean. Not everybody offers support by fawning. Some people give you the slap in the face you need.

In some respects you are right, and indeed sometimes people need to be 'gently' told they are doing the wrong thing backed up by facts is always good, but in this case like in mine it's not as simple as that. For an example:

I eat a certain way through healthy choice and I am currently cutting so I am on 1200 cals per day fo a short period I also bodybuild so on a workout day I will be allowed another 1000 cals at least sometimes it's a fair bit more. I eat 6 good meals a day low fat low sugar high protein, after eating 6 meals I couldn't squeeze any more in! I absolutely don't want to lose more than 3 pounds per week because of infringement of muscle but I also don't want to feel stuffed! Maybe people should just start by asking pleasant questions about it rather than going in for the kill!

yanicka

oh so you want to starve yourself and get kuddos for it...there is probable pro-ana board where you would fit perfectly. Truth hurt???? Maybe time to reconsider what you are doing.

disgusting people like you make me sick with comments like that.

If not supporting a young women destroying her health makes you sick ....then yep I am a disgusting disgusting person. I am also a mother of a young girl, a surrogate mother of 4 babies (I have created 2 famillies and changed life forever) I am a wonderfull friends that I would never support doing what that girl is doing. So in my book, I am an awsome person that does not give just lip service I guess we will agree to disagree

cedarhurst2006

You can choose the friends you accept and you can delete the friends you don't want. This is a somewhat open forum and is geared toward fitness and a healthy lifestyle. If you open your food diary, they you are going to get the good and bad. I have learned to take constructive criticism and don't expect all my friends to write "Good job" "Way to go" "Great burn" - I look for an honest opinion but more importantly, a sharing of best practices and learn what may have been a great idea for one person may also work for me.

cedarhurst2006

You can choose the friends you accept and you can delete the friends you don't want. This is a somewhat open forum and is geared toward fitness and a healthy lifestyle. If you open your food diary, they you are going to get the good and bad. I have learned to take constructive criticism and don't expect all my friends to write "Good job" "Way to go" "Great burn" - I look for an honest opinion but more importantly, a sharing of best practices and learn what may have been a great idea for one person may also work for me.

tigersword

i feel like some people write discouraging, negative comments on your diary to maybe just make them selves feel better because they maybe over indulged that day.

Some people struggle to keep within their calorie target where as i (and many others) find it hard to eat our calories. I welcome helpful, positive, encouraging comments but i will start deleting people who point out the obvious time and time again because it just makes me want to take my diary off here and go it alone.

I am on a diet to lose weight...i will NOT eat junk food to up my calories nor will i eat when i do not feel hungry - end of.

Rant over - thanks for listening

To be fair, being under your calorie goal is just as unhealthy as being over your calorie goal. I for one, very rarely offer praise to anyone, because I do not blindly support and encourage behaviors that could be considered destructive and unhealthy (or even activities that are normal parts daily routines.) If you are eating (hypothetically, as I don't know your situation) 500 under the weight loss goal that MFP already gives you, and not eating back exercise calories, why would I praise that and encourage it? As for if they are mean about it, sometimes the truth hurts and tough love can be mean. Not everybody offers support by fawning. Some people give you the slap in the face you need.

In some respects you are right, and indeed sometimes people need to be 'gently' told they are doing the wrong thing backed up by facts is always good, but in this case like in mine it's not as simple as that. For an example:

I eat a certain way through healthy choice and I am currently cutting so I am on 1200 cals per day fo a short period I also bodybuild so on a workout day I will be allowed another 1000 cals at least sometimes it's a fair bit more. I eat 6 good meals a day low fat low sugar high protein, after eating 6 meals I couldn't squeeze any more in! I absolutely don't want to lose more than 3 pounds per week because of infringement of muscle but I also don't want to feel stuffed! Maybe people should just start by asking pleasant questions about it rather than going in for the kill!

Sounds like your eating properly. Although, if I can make one suggestion, don't eat low fat. Fat is part of the endocrine system and your body needs fat. By limiting your fat intake, your body will hold onto fat, rather than burn it. Keep in mind, fat storage and retrieval is a 24/7 process, so if you are eating a good percentage of healthy fact acids every day, your body will have no problem shedding excess. If you cut fat out of your diet, your bay will hang onto it, because it would worry about it dropping too low.


According to what I'm reading in this post, people are being "mean" to the OP because she is eating like an anorexic, roughly 600 calories a day. I can't confirm that because her diary is private, but that's what several people have posted. That to me is worth getting confrontational about, as it is a serious and potentially deadly health risk.

skinnyjeanzbound

oh so you want to starve yourself and get kuddos for it...there is probable pro-ana board where you would fit perfectly. Truth hurt???? Maybe time to reconsider what you are doing.

disgusting people like you make me sick with comments like that.

If not supporting a young women destroying her health makes you sick ....then yep I am a disgusting disgusting person. I am also a mother of a young girl, a surrogate mother of 4 babies (I have created 2 famillies and changed life forever) I am a wonderfull friends that I would never support doing what that girl is doing. So in my book, I am an awsome person that does not give just lip service I guess we will agree to disagree

@OP--How is yanicka's comment disgusting? if the posts on this thread convey the situation accurately, it sounds like you are not eating enough. Her point is that this forum is for people who want to practice healthy eating habits, so if you're looking for validation for anorexic behavior, you need to seek it elsewhere. Perhaps her approach is a bit harsh, but if you are only eating 600 calories a day, what you are doing to your body is much harsher.

lottywood

I'm pretty sure anorexic people eat less than 600 calories a day. Try 1 rice cracker with marmite on it or nothing at all! Calling someone you don't know anorexic IS discusting, and if you think 'yanicka's' comments were caring you are wrong. Simple as that!

meerkat70

I'm pretty sure anorexic people eat less than 600 calories a day. Try 1 rice cracker with marmite on it or nothing at all! Calling someone you don't know anorexic IS discusting, and if you think 'yanicka's' comments were caring you are wrong. Simple as that!

The average intake for someone with anorexia nervosa is about 600-800 cals, actually. The popular image of complete self-starvation is much less common.

At 600-800 cals a day (depending on frame) you become at significant risk of all the health problems associated with AN. And they are many, and pretty horrible.

lottywood

Someone ocassionally eating 600 calories a day does not make them anorexic. To tell someone to join a pro anorexic blog is discusting!!!

yanicka

Someone ocassionally eating 600 calories a day does not make them anorexic. To tell someone to join a pro anorexic blog is discusting!!!

Come one it's a day in day out thing for her and if you add the exercise she is probably in the minus calories. She came here complaining that she didn't get kuddos from everyone for doing what she is doing. If that is what she really want.....well it's not here she will get those!!!! Do I want her to do that damage to herself? do I want her to get sick? Do I want her to compromise her reproductive health, her metabolism, Hell NO!!!!!! but obviously we are all wrong, we do not understand, we are mean, stomp your feet, hold your breath and have a fit. I am done with this since I am just an old nasty witch that does not know anything. I really hope the best for everyone. LOL

10fairywings

oh so you want to starve yourself and get kuddos for it...there is probable pro-ana board where you would fit perfectly. Truth hurt???? Maybe time to reconsider what you are doing.

disgusting people like you make me sick with comments like that.

If not supporting a young women destroying her health makes you sick ....then yep I am a disgusting disgusting person. I am also a mother of a young girl, a surrogate mother of 4 babies (I have created 2 famillies and changed life forever) I am a wonderfull friends that I would never support doing what that girl is doing. So in my book, I am an awsome person that does not give just lip service I guess we will agree to disagree

@OP--How is yanicka's comment disgusting? if the posts on this thread convey the situation accurately, it sounds like you are not eating enough. Her point is that this forum is for people who want to practice healthy eating habits, so if you're looking for validation for anorexic behavior, you need to seek it elsewhere. Perhaps her approach is a bit harsh, but if you are only eating 600 calories a day, what you are doing to your body is much harsher.

This actually made me laugh! The assumptions here are positively amazing! First one basically calls the op anorexic without any evidence of this just an assumption (if you have looked at op's diet then misinformation) and then sells herself as a super wonderful person we should all bow down to because she is so selfless and wonderful! Note to you; being rude has no place anywhere let alone here! One can share ones feelings and thoughts in a polite way by asking more questions and finding out the facts before being helpful and advisory, instead you were mean and up your own bottom! For second one, how can you say how is it disgusting? Then admit her approach was harsh. To be honest even if the op was anorexic (which she isn't) what help have you two just offered an apparently poorly girl that needs help? The op eats exceptionally healthily and eats in a certain way which is why her calories can sometimes look low, however, this would have meant her consuming a lot of food! I eat in the same way and it is a struggle to eat your full calorie intake, but it is a proven healthy and wonderful way to eat. Perhaps you should both give it a go so you can see how hard it can be to get all the calories in when you are so full. I eat 6 amazing meals a day by the way and snacks and I eat every 3 hours 7am, 10am,1pm,4pm,7pm,10pm meals each time generally. And just to point out; op's profile pic is great don't you think does she truly look super skinny ribs showing ill to you? Well no she doesn't look like that does she!

tigersword

Eating only 600 calories a day is unhealthy and anorexic, put whatever kind of spin you want on it. It is physically unhealthy and can be fatal. Period.

Eating 600 calories a day is not a "lovely way to eat." It is impossible to get proper nutrition levels at that low a calorie intake, regardless of how you want to pretend it does.

BTW, how do you know the OP isn't anorexic? Are you friends with her? Assuming she isn't is no different than blasting others for assuming she is.

lottywood

10fairywings that is the first sensible thing anyones said in a while. and Tigersword for your info i am friends with her, i work with her and sit next to her every day. We also excercise together so i can tell you she is not anorexic. My knowledge is based on fact, yours is cruel judgement, amd for people who are also trying to achieve a healthy lifestyle which works for them i would have hoped you would know beeter than to blast someone and call them anorexic! Discusting!

lottywood

And Yanicka i think i'll save the foot stomping for you.

10fairywings

Eating only 600 calories a day is unhealthy and anorexic, put whatever kind of spin you want on it. It is physically unhealthy and can be fatal. Period.

Eating 600 calories a day is not a "lovely way to eat." It is impossible to get proper nutrition levels at that low a calorie intake, regardless of how you want to pretend it does.

BTW, how do you know the OP isn't anorexic? Are you friends with her? Assuming she isn't is no different than blasting others for assuming she is.

I agree with you 600 cals is blatently not enough and if you had seen my posts on other threads you would know that I don't advocate it at all, but there is a massive difference between consuming only 600 cals a day and having a bad ed and over exercising and not consuming deficit at all, what op and I do is a eat a particular diet and do particular exercise type, just to put your mind at rest as an example of this I can burn at most 2000 cals in a day and I really struggle to eat them back, that would be an intake of 3200 cals at the moment, I am not a big girl I do not like rubbish food and I simply can't eat it all back. But if you look at my diary today I've gone over cals because it's my rest day. Hopefully you can see the issue. And I do know the op btw or I wouldn't have made the observation. But thank you for the post this is a good example to me of how a debate should go instead of being mean, cruel and leaping to conclusions.