Anyone else shrinking in secret??

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Megan2Project
Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have just jumped back on the bandwagon, and THIS time, I have chosen NOT to tell my dear husband.

He will see me everyday, and obviously see some of the things I eat, but I am excersizing only when he is asleep (at 6am) or when he is away at work, while my staff covers for me. I run a childcare center from my home, and also have two under 3 of my own.

Anyways, today my dear husband (oblivious that I am currently working my *kitten* off) brought home chocolate milk and Caramilk bars for us... It is going to KILL me to dump that milk down the drain...
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  • ginny1214
    ginny1214 Posts: 338
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    Why arent you telling him? Last time i tried I didn't tell my husband either, only bc I had failed so many times and he never believed me that I was going to do it.
  • ajprivet
    ajprivet Posts: 9 Member
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    You didn't really say why you aren't telling your husband...?
  • jaramae
    jaramae Posts: 100 Member
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    I'm shrinking in secret too. Haven't really told my family or my friends. I don't see my friends too often so I'm hoping the next time they see me, they'll see a major change!
  • skylinekt
    skylinekt Posts: 56
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    You're sabotaging you own plan! Why didn't you tell him?
  • tnkhart
    tnkhart Posts: 72 Member
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    I know it's easier said than done but good for you. Don't eat that stuff !! When I first made the decission to change and eat healthy I remember telling my buddy that my "weakness" was ice cream. He replied, "it's not a weakness, it's a choice," It was MY choice to eat and become healthy. You sound like you are on the right track. Stay strong !!
  • CindiBryce
    CindiBryce Posts: 438
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    I have just jumped back on the bandwagon, and THIS time, I have chosen NOT to tell my dear husband.

    He will see me everyday, and obviously see some of the things I eat, but I am excersizing only when he is asleep (at 6am) or when he is away at work, while my staff covers for me. I run a childcare center from my home, and also have two under 3 of my own.

    Anyways, today my dear husband (oblivious that I am currently working my *kitten* off) brought home chocolate milk and Caramilk bars for us... It is going to KILL me to dump that milk down the drain...
    Why aren't you going to tell him? And why exercise in secret? What is the harm in telling your husband that you want to lose weight? You could inspire him to live a healthier lifestyle with you.

    And also, what an utter waste of milk. Just tell him, and you won't have to waste money.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
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    My hubby and I are loosing together but I don't talk about it around my family because they are so discouraging. Better you should dump the milk down the drain than your diet.
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    Because not everyone's husband is awesome, supportive, and/or the wind beneath one's wings. I'm sure she has her reasons. I do not involve my husband in my pushes to lose weight--I do not usually succeed, he does not believe in me, and it is simply irritating to have the conversation again and again.
  • oopsiedaezie
    oopsiedaezie Posts: 93
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    I must admit that when I started my current diet, I was very hush hush about it too. The most awful part was when my co-workers would bring around rich foods that I used to LOVE; while I knew better and always walked away, I could not help but feel a little twinge of regret for having left the food behind. It took them a couple of weeks to catch on, and eventually they would just ask "Are you being a good girl today?" before offering any of their snacks to me. I think that the biggest reason I kept it to myself was that had I failed on my diet, no one would have been the wiser and everything would have gone on same as usual. But, you can do this! Some days are more difficult that others, but it can be done. Just focus on your goal.
  • Sassi50
    Sassi50 Posts: 67 Member
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    Well, not really in secret. The hubby knows but I haven't told my staff. They see what I eat each day, and they see me change into running clothes before I leave work, but I haven't actually said that I am actually working on getting healthy. I figure they will figure it out evenually LOL!!!!
  • cgfol1
    cgfol1 Posts: 179 Member
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    I do this. I find as soon as I tell someone I have their expectations weighing on me as well as my own. This is my battle to conquer, and I the idea of doing it for me only.
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    Not exactly a secret, but I am done with telling people about my plans. I've found people don't like to hear that you are embarking on a journey of self improvement. They may not realize it, but they see that you are changing something about yourself which implies if they continue on doing what they are doing than you think that they are wrong. Cue the sabotage and discouragement. I much prefer the "wow, you've lost weight!" "oh really...?"

    I don't see how this could work though? If he knew, then he wouldn't have bought the milk, and exercising in secret just makes getting out and doing it that much harder.
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    Are you not telling him because he doesn't think you can do it and you want it to be noticeable at some point and hear the words "honey, have you lost weight"? I can understand that if that is what you are trying to achieve but you have to remember, you do need all the support you can get. I am divorced of almost a year and my ex remarried recently, he never thought he would ever see the thin me again, well I'm out to prove him and everyone else wrong, my family doctor of almost 12 years, told me about 4-5 years ago that I would never be able to lose this weight on my own that I would need gastric bypass surgery! well, here I am 91lbs down with 65 to go and I so can't wait to reach my goal and see the looks on all their faces when I strut in in some cute small adorable outfit and dangerously high heels....one of my rewards, a cute pair of high heels! So keep up the good work but do get all the support you can.
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
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    I'm doing it in secret (ish) just because I feel like every other week, I`m saying I`m on a diet or something. THIS time I just want to show him. I think it would be very rewarding to have him just notice one day. I have a staff person who works with me 30-40 hours a week and we are doing it together, so I have someone who holds me accountable and kicks my *kitten* when I need it. I would just like to give him the mental break :)
  • irishseven
    irishseven Posts: 35 Member
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    The best advice and support from a mom w/ 5 kds and 10 g-babies and a fun husband of 35 years..tell everybody..the whole family needs to enjoy HEALTH together..the choices as a family, even w/ babies is awesome..bring them into this journey!! enjoy and luck!!
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
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    How am I sabbotaging? I have someone who sees me everyday, for more of the day than he does, who helps keep me on track.
  • prinmalik
    prinmalik Posts: 9 Member
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    I really agree with you, some people just dont have that wind beneath my wing support....Sure she have her reasons but guess what it's not really our business, our business is weight loss and whatever reason she may have for not telling her husband, IM just glad she is living a healthier lifestyle, what Im striving for
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
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    Thank you!

    P.S. I worked the Caramilk into my day and only ate half before throwing the rest out...
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
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    where as my boyfriend knows I am pursuing a healthier lifestyle I dont discuss my current weight, my excercise pattern or my goals with him. We make alot of food decisions together but thats because I cook and he likes healthy foods too.

    The reason I dont discuss these things with him is because he is a body builder, and likes being muscular, and feels lean muscle on women is good but sometimes in his pursuit to be supportive he hurts my feelings. I could pinpoint a million examples which all point to my own insecurities but Im allowed to have them! The conversation just turns sour when we start discussing my workouts or my weight lifting because I do things differently then he does. He despises cardio, I love it. He loves my slightly round belly, I despise it. My butt is all muscle and he loves big butts so fortunantly we get along there. He lifts weights for hours, after 60 min of intense cardio Im done at the gym.

    But when we dont discuss things, and he suddenly says "hey have you lost more this week?" and I respond with "nope, frustrated, week two of the same frickin weight. Why?" and get the response of "Well things are tightening up then babe because you definently look skinnier, and Feel skinnier." Its a great ego boost for me
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
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    Sort of. I don't discuss it with anyone, really. I talk about it a little with my fiance because I want to share my progress and for him to know I'm doing well, the right way.
    I feel like if I talk about it I may fall off the wagon like I jinxed myself or something and I dont want anyone looking at me (if that happened) and thinking ":sarcastically: well she's doing well with her diet"

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