Anyone else shrinking in secret??

_Ben

Well good for you. The only thing id suggest is telling him so he doesnt keep buying you cake!

cutmd

I diet in "secret" because I only have a few pounds to lose and don't want to hear "you don't need to lose weight". It will just become a tape i play in my head when I'm feeling lazy or extra hungry. DH doesn't believe in calorie counting and my counting annoys him so I am open about the exercising and count in secret

Leanne3552000

I don't want anyone to know I'm trying to lose weight because I don't want their opinions on it. A couple of close friends know I'm extremely self consious of my recent gain. My friends and family are used to me chosing healthy options so no one has noticed any difference in my eating habbits. The only person who knows i've been exercising alot more is my flat mate and sometimes she tells people. They are always shocked to hear it which is exactly why I don't tell people. I find their reactions very discouraging.

hush7hush

I've stopped talking about it because people think I obsess.
Which I obviously don't.

It's more of a secret now. Sometimes people say "dieting" like it's a dirty word. Especially since I don't consider it dieting.

vizamy

I didn't tell my husband "as such" but I did ask him to stop bringing home chocolates etc. Not just for me but for the kids too, doesn't do them good to have all that around.

The main reason he knew was that my son and I have both been working together to get more healthy - he podged up a bit while he was ill and he doesn't need that, while I am on a more serious weight loss and fitness journey.

I don't go broadcasting it either.

Angie789

How am I sabbotaging? I have someone who sees me everyday, for more of the day than he does, who helps keep me on track.

It's great that you have someone to keep you on track. I think the sabotaging comments have to do with the story you told - your husband doesn't know, so he is placing temptations right in front of without even realizing what he's doing. As you know from your past experiences, losing weight & getting healthy can be hard, and for many of us, the best way to manage temptations is to avoid them, particularly in the early days of the journey. By not telling your husband about your lifestyle changes, you seem to be placing additional obstacles in your own way - he'll keep bringing home unhealthy snacks that you like to eat, so you are constantly dealing with temptation (and it sounds like it already has affected you - would you have eaten part of a candy bar if it wasn't in your house?).

Everybody has to figure out what works for them, and if this plan does, more power to you. I understand not wanting to have the same conversation about dieting with him again. But be sure you have weighed the pros & cons - is it worse to talk about another weight loss attempt or to have to deal with chocolate in the house all the time?

netchik

I didn't tell my husband for 4 weeks. He caught me one morning getiing dressed and told me I'd really slimmed down which made me :huh: Because i didn't think i had made any progress.

He immediately told me we'd do it together and he joined mfp the same day. My ex would never have done that, and had i been in a different relationship i would be doing this is secret as well. There is a shame in being a big girl that it takes a long time to get over. Tell the people YOU want to tell, you aren't setting yourself up to fail becaus you have your MFP support network. If you are worried about wasting the milk, next time pop it in the fridge "for later". And then wait for hubby to eye it off after a night out...

whatwentwrong

this is the first time i've really told people i was dieting, usually it doesn't last long and i don't want people to think i'm a failure. i still weigh/exercise in secret tho >_>

A lot of people watching what I ate/how much I exercised, and joking with me if they saw me eating something they didn't think was "healthy". It ended up being discouraging.

this is the worst! my friend posted a picture of some fake food, it was some kind of insane dessert burger thing, and i was like oh i'd eat the crap out of that, and she was like omg but you're on a diet you can't eat stuff like that anymore! yeah, i was totally planning on going out and getting 2 cakes and 2 pounds of ground beef and making a cakeburger before you stopped me, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN -_-

marzahl68

You hit the nail on the head! Both hubby and my daugther are overweight. I'm very excited about every pound I lose and I'm also very determined. I realized thought every time I don't eat the same thing they do for dinner, I'm actually telling them "What you're eating is wrong, it's fattening and therefore I won't touch it!"
Both know I'm changing my eating habits, both know why and I don't keep it a secret when I've lost another pound. They make efforts to accomodate me: Subway so I can have a veggie delight instead of McDondald's and hubby asks me if I have enough calories to spend to go to lunch with him. My daugther doesn't want to eat meat. It's a fad, we all know it but it's a choice she made and we'll accomodate her as much as we can. I expect the same the other way around.

Painten

My OH isn't really supportive to me. I had to tell him though even for the reason that he likes all the bad foods and he will bring them home or want to order takeaways for dinner, etc. If i hadn't told him then he'd have kept bringing stuff home, although to be fair he still does bring stuff home. Every so often we have a big argument where i tell him he's the least supportive man on the planet and for a little while it works till it goes again. I doubt i'd have lasted this long if i hadn't of told him. Firstly we dont' have enough money for me to see food thrown away because he's bought it and i haven't told him i'm not willing to eat it, and secondly i've not enough will power to throw food away. By not telling him i wouldn't have been able to give him the opportunity to be supportive.

Megan2Project

He`ll notice eventually and I won`t always "hide" it. I just want to get going and serious first.

Some may not agree, but when I have the strength to only eat half, or throw away something that I consider a weakness, I feel like it gives me more power. Like I have conquored something.

The only meal we all eat together is dinner, and we still all eat the same thing. A reletively healthy, well-rounded, dinner. If its something a little more calorie heavy, I either exercise more, or take a smaller portion.

Yesterday was a challange... (with the chocolate milk and the bar), but I got through it and I feel great. He doesn't usually bring home goodies for us, I guess when he was picking up the milk and salad I asked for they were both on crazy cheap.

Jeliica

I'm shrinking in secret as well. Only my parents know what I'm doing or what I've done. I find that my family is to negative. They constantly watch what I eat and then they are down my back on why would I eat that, blah blah blah. My mom is being really supportive and dieting with me and cooking really good foods. I love doing it in secret though, I lost 20pds and my family are like wow you look amazing everytime I see them for an event. I can't wait to lose more and shock them!! hehe

Brandicaloriecountess

I started I only told a few people. My BFF bc she was my roommate then and my kids. I think just one other friend new. I didn't want to fail again and have everyone know I failed. But I didny fail and now everyone knows lol

hikeout470

Haven't told anyone either... I enjoy the looks on peoples faces at the work arena, when they are trying to figure out what is different about me. LOOOOVE it!

bmqbonnie

I don't think you're a bad person or anything. Do what works for you, by all means! It's just the exercising in secret that stuck out at me because it can be so hard to motivate yourself to work out anyway; having to wait around til someone isn't home just puts up one more obstacle.

I understand how you feel though, whether it's because he's negative or because you want to surprise someone! Personally i don't go around telling everyone because then you feel criticized, but then I don't go to extreme lengths to hide it either. I just do my thang and am pretty much left alone.

sixxx

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purple1butterfly

I have told my dh & some friends but the rest I see why I would tell them. My dh is the best he gets the crisps, chocolate bars etc that I have never liked lol. I had a lovely comment from a neighbour yesterday, tiu have lost weight she said.

purple1butterfly

Sorry double post

Navallez

I kinda understand where your coming from...I live far from my hometown and dont see my family very often(maybe 3 times a yr)..so I have not talked about my diet and exercise..for the same reason as you, tried many times and failed..I have been obese for half my life now..and when I get together with my family EVERYONE always has a comment on how thin I was before..(140 lbs).
So this time it REALLY is different..this is the only time that I have exercised with my diet since I have been overweight..and I must say I am hooked on exercising...so far I have lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks and I love love the feeling...hope to go back home this Christmas and see the look on everyones face....this site is a WONDERFUL find....

CMR12

I kinda am. My boyfriend kinda knows, he says I look good no matter what (awwe =D ) but I'm still going for it. I haven't really told my family because I've always asked them to buy healthier food with me or ask them if I could borrow the TV to exercise in the past, and they always would get mad at me. So I'm doing it in "secret" now because I just don't want to deal with the constant questions and constant (nasty) comments my family sometimes gives me. Besides my boyfriend, I don't really have a positive person to go to while I'm trying to diet so I'm kinda on my own and keeping it quiet until they decide to change as well.

Megan2Project

Yeah, I don't need anyone judging me... Maybe its just where I live, but most women who I tell around here tend to sabotage, or question, or try to get you to do it their way, or whatever, so I'm just gonna do my thing, with my friend, and see how it turns out.

My hubby will be supportive... but he hears about it (usually) 24/7. So he might appreciate the break.

geekymom57

I'm not sure it matters if you've told him or not, but there is nothing wrong, esp. if you own a child care center, to have a discussion about using food as treats. Chocolate milk is not allowed in many local schools due to its high calorie content (and this is in Wisconsin where milk is revered!). One of my sisters (in her 60s) had to lose weight after surgery and was stunned to learn how many calories were in that tasty chocolate milk she'd been drinking to help get her calcium requirements. I remember decades ago when I was a kid, fresh fruit was a huge treat but so was the cherry in the fruit cocktaill My daughters (now in their 20s) went to a day care where fresh fruit was served daily and no canned fruits or vegetables were served. Not surprisingly, they don't consider canned fruit a treat (or a fruit for that matter).

Bottom line, it doesn't really matter if you doing this in secret, announced to the world, took out an ad, etc., it's your choice to lose weight and you're doing it for yourself. But you can send a message to your family about healthy eating outside of the context of "dieting."

KikuLogan

Hi there! Good for you but why keep it from him? I also have two kids under the age of 3 and I've found that having my husband's support helps me to keep on track with my workouts. I'm down 40lbs on WW and just joined MFP to take off the last 10 (15? Maybe? LOL).

jedi9393

I'm not trying to be judgemental, but since the OP created this post I assume she is either asking for opinions or validation. Why else start this thread?

As for me. I havent told me co-workers cause I'm not close with any of them and I dont give a flip about their opinions anyway. I recently had lapband surgery and only my husband, niece, and in laws know. I didnt want to worry most of my family. I know they would worry, plus they all live outta state. as For everyone else if they ask I will tell. Anytime I am on a diet or anything I let people know. I dont really undersstand y people stress over other peoples opinions of what they do with their bodies. They talk all they want, I dont care. I guess it's just me.

As for the hubby, if my husband didnt support me in trying to get healthier then he wouldnt be my husband. Period!! My husband is my biggest cheerleader and best friend. I couldnt imagine not sharing with him. If he was a jerk and brought me down then adios. I dont need that kinda husband and father. I do enough of that to myself.

We have a son and I dont let him eat processed junk. If my husband could eat that crap he would, but due to health issues he is on a strict low sodium diet. But before he ate whatever and that was ok for him, but not for me and our son. I bought healthy food and cooked. My hubby ate whatever I cooked. If he didnt like it, he could cook something else or go get some nasty fast food.

Masterchef2000

I'm a private person and live outside the states so without my husband here, I can devote all my time to getting healthier without the judgement that always comes from one person or another. If it's not hurting anyone, why make the fuss?

Do what you NEED to do to make this work. People try things, realize it doesn't work, then try something else. Good for you to keep trying something, anything, instead of giving up! That's what its about.

Megan2Project

I'm not trying to be judgemental, but since the OP created this post I assume she is either asking for opinions or validation. Why else start this thread?

I was (as the title said) looking for other people who may be doing the same thing.

purpleprose

Here's my opinion. Take it or leave it.

The more people you tell about your attempt to lose weight/get fit, the more accountable you have to hold yourself. Try it, it works.

I completely agree - I made it impossible for myself NOT to lose the weight because I told everyone I'd ever met that I was going to run an 8-mile race in a few months and was going to lose weight. I actually learned about the concept in an organizational behavior class....it's proven that if you tell a LOT of people you're going to do something, you feel compelled to follow-through. It's human nature!

Biancalee76

I told my husband, but not really anyone else. My family is not too supportive. My husband watched me count calories for a week or so, saw my energy increase due to healthier food, decided to get on board with me. Its great for us, because we have each other to commeriserate with when we get frustrated, and to remind each other that we don't need the whole Hershey bar, a few dark choc kisses is more that enough. He's not counting as seriously as I am, but he's getting a general idea of what he consumes a day. Between the two of us, we've lost around 25 lbs since Sept 9th. (me=15, him=10)

krik84

And also, what an utter waste of milk.

Pun intended?

Teliooo

My best friend knows, my mum, my house mate and my partner. Oh and couple of work colleagues but that it is. I only tell these people so I can make better food choices and explain why I am not eating certain things.

To be honest, people just tell me, oh you are fine how you are. That is not what I want to hear. Or they think you are bragging so I just keep hush hush now. After losing nearly 7 stone in a few years a lot of people from my past notice but current friends have no clue so I tend to just want to keep the weight loss to myself as I can't really be bothered to talk to them about, especially as they don't want to hear that you have to eat less and work out more to lose it.