Why do people argue so much?

Jeliica

We live in a society where everyone is opinionated and they have to get their point across regardless if it's negative or positive. Only you can decide what is right for you and no one should tell you otherwise.

Good luck to everyone dieting! Kudos to making that leap of faith and bettering yourself. How you do it, it's your life, just be safe, and take care of yourself!

bry_all01

I bought a homeless man dinner last night....

I bought a homeless man pizza on a snowy day last winter. Did I do him a favour or not? That's a lot of "bad" calories.

I was just saying that there is compassion out there, as joy said. Funny, you post a topic about arguing, and then you start an argument.

missalicia78

Well, since I started doing this, some people in my life choose to scrutinize what goes into my mouth. Like if I have a serving of cookies or chocolate, or a light beer: "Oh, you're eating/drinking THAT? That's not good for you. I thought you were trying to lose weight..." In this case, it's not out of concern. It's just pettiness. But I'm a little cynical...maybe it IS concern.

Puckermann

I don't care if YOU are doing things wrong, but when you try to convince unknowing others to do it your wrong way, then I argue. There are a couple people here that I've noticed who try to pass themselves off as experts when they are not and are often wrong.

HAHAHA laughed so hard

missalicia78

I had this today, someone nosied in my diary, I might add after pushing me to open it about a week ago, and then was really critical despite knowing I had posted that I wasn't feeling well, been quite down, and broke down during training this week. So ye I took a day off, I went 100 cals over big whoop! Leftvme feeling like I should leave here tbh. Am feeling better this aft but really upset me this morning.

Pay no attention to the naysayers!! So what if you went 100 over? I've done it too. It happens. Just get back on the bike and keep pedaling, my dear!

ambercole

Because we all know better than everyone else...and of course because I am the smartest of all and know everything about everything!

Mom? Is that you???

fteale

I bought a homeless man dinner last night....

I bought a homeless man pizza on a snowy day last winter. Did I do him a favour or not? That's a lot of "bad" calories.

I was just saying that there is compassion out there, as joy said. Funny, you post a topic about arguing, and then you start an argument.

I wasn't arguing. I was saying......I have bought homeless people food too. No argument implied.

yanicka

I won't say nothing when someone is doing or promoting anorexia. I have a girl, right now se is only 4 y/o and I will do my best to let her know how she is a wonderfull person what ever the scale say, I will do my best to show her what being healthy is. If somehow she would start sacrificing her health to be thin and I am not there to see it....I sure hope that someone else will try to knock some sens into her.

bluebird321

because they want to make sure it is done in a healthy manner, so people don't get sick or die.

Do you think people actually care that much about total strangers? Or is it more about the desperate desire to be right to validate their own actions?

This... The majority of the time.

caroltina

I had this today, someone nosied in my diary, I might add after pushing me to open it about a week ago, and then was really critical despite knowing I had posted that I wasn't feeling well, been quite down, and broke down during training this week. So ye I took a day off, I went 100 cals over big whoop! Leftvme feeling like I should leave here tbh. Am feeling better this aft but really upset me this morning.

Pay no attention to the naysayers!! So what if you went 100 over? I've done it too. It happens. Just get back on the bike and keep pedaling, my dear!

caroltina

I had this today, someone nosied in my diary, I might add after pushing me to open it about a week ago, and then was really critical despite knowing I had posted that I wasn't feeling well, been quite down, and broke down during training this week. So ye I took a day off, I went 100 cals over big whoop! Leftvme feeling like I should leave here tbh. Am feeling better this aft but really upset me this morning.

Pay no attention to the naysayers!! So what if you went 100 over? I've done it too. It happens. Just get back on the bike and keep pedaling, my dear!

Get it right this time! Type the message first!!!! Dur! Thanks lovely, I am doing back to it tomorrow kicking it hard again!

bry_all01

I bought a homeless man dinner last night....

I bought a homeless man pizza on a snowy day last winter. Did I do him a favour or not? That's a lot of "bad" calories.

I was just saying that there is compassion out there, as joy said. Funny, you post a topic about arguing, and then you start an argument.

I wasn't arguing. I was saying......I have bought homeless people food too. No argument implied.

Oh, I misunderstood and apologize. I do believe you did him a favor, regardless how fatty it was, it was better than nothing. To answer your question I think that shows that at least 2 of us, I am willing to bet even more have done the same for a complete stranger. And, I don't think the pizza calories hurt him when he probably went days withour eating, I'm sure he was thankful that someone was kind enough to care about him, when he probably lost all hope of decent human beings. When I went to the store, I barely had any money and was getting essentials, but he asked for twenty cents to get some food and when i offered, he asked for chicken, so I got the premade chicken wings, rolls and a bottle of water. As tight of a budget I am on, he needed it more than I did. He was very happy and thankful, that is face lit up. It melted my heart and made my troubles seem petty.

MrsCon40

because they want to make sure it is done in a healthy manner, so people don't get sick or die.

Do you think people actually care that much about total strangers? Or is it more about the desperate desire to be right to validate their own actions?

Then why take part in the social aspect of this site at all?

I do care about my friends here. I may not offer them a kidney but I do enjoy sharing in the successes and struggles. I would probably not still be here if it weren't for my "friends" - and some of them are turning into real life friends.

I also care about the larger MFP community. When people take shortcuts to weight loss it doesn't help contribute to the health of the MFP community.

_GlaDOS_

I do it because I genuinely care.

I care about people making informed decisions about what they do about their health. It's become a passion of mine in real life, and I tend to transfer some of that to this place, since I'm on it so often logging my food. I care that people don't influence others to do things based on their uninformed decisions about their health.

TK421NotAtPost

It happens in pretty much every forum. I used to frequent an automotive detailing forum where people would engage in the same type of bickering and name-calling over which wax was the best. Zaino? Klasse? Meguiars? You'll see the same bs and political maneuvering you see here in pretty much any forum.

The message boards afford people a lot more anonymity than in real life situations where societal norms constrain them from acting like total p r i c k s (well, some less than others). Without these constraints, there is nothing to hold back a lot of the immaturity and pettiness we see when someone posts a topic about low carb, or eating your exercise calories, etc...etc.

I'm not addressing anyone in particular, but the next time anyone feels like posting a smart alec comment that isn't helpful and is just belligerent in general, remind yourself that the internet message boards reveal your true nature.

taso42

It's an internet ma'am. That's how it works. If you're wrong, someone will correct you. And if you're right, someone will correct you.

LeanerBeef

Because we all know better than everyone else...and of course because I am the smartest of all and know everything about everything!

Mom? Is that you???

Haha! No that was definitely my Mom and in a louder voice, my Mother in Law.....:laugh:

anubis609

It's an internet ma'am. That's how it works. If you're wrong, someone will correct you. And if you're right, someone will correct you.

This.

In general, everyone's entitled to their own methods of whatever the hell it is that they do in order to reach their own goals. But when those methods publicly go against the grain of common knowledge, sh*tstorms arise and differing opinions begin to create a debacle. It's just the way it is. No topic on the internet has ever been calmly discussed.

MSDRIZZ

I enjoy hearing other peoples opinions unless they are doing things that are blatantly dangerous like only eating 1000 or less calories, taking dangerous drugs etc............ What upsets me is when self proclaimed experts get on here and tell everybody they are doing EVERYTHING wrong. They usually have a picture of themselves all buffed up and say they are a personal trainer in there profile. They are obviously on here to either sell something or to feel superior. In my opinion we are all just following a theory we are hoping will help us lose weight and make us healthier. They are all just theory's.

MSDRIZZ

It happens in pretty much every forum. I used to frequent an automotive detailing forum where people would engage in the same type of bickering and name-calling over which wax was the best. Zaino? Klasse? Meguiars? You'll see the same bs and political maneuvering you see here in pretty much any forum.

The message boards afford people a lot more anonymity than in real life situations where societal norms constrain them from acting like total p r i c k s (well, some less than others). Without these constraints, there is nothing to hold back a lot of the immaturity and pettiness we see when someone posts a topic about low carb, or eating your exercise calories, etc...etc.

I'm not addressing anyone in particular, but the next time anyone feels like posting a smart alec comment that isn't helpful and is just belligerent in general, remind yourself that the internet message boards reveal your true nature.

What this wise person said.

k2quiere

Darn, Anubis, you let me down. I only clicked on here because I saw you were the last post, and then you go and say something thoughtful and absolutely correct. I was hoping for something witty and off the chain

Honestly, half of what we call arguing is simply discussion, but message boards don't really afford the ability judge facial expressions and tone very well. There is something to what others said about some people feeling better about themselves by judging others. The whole if-I-draw-attention-to-what-he/she's-doing-I-can-do-whatever syndrome. I don't profess to be an expert on any of the questions asked on here, or I probably wouldn't be here, so I just don't respond to 90% of the threads.

fteale

I bought a homeless man dinner last night....

I bought a homeless man pizza on a snowy day last winter. Did I do him a favour or not? That's a lot of "bad" calories.

I was just saying that there is compassion out there, as joy said. Funny, you post a topic about arguing, and then you start an argument.

I wasn't arguing. I was saying......I have bought homeless people food too. No argument implied.

Oh, I misunderstood and apologize. I do believe you did him a favor, regardless how fatty it was, it was better than nothing. To answer your question I think that shows that at least 2 of us, I am willing to bet even more have done the same for a complete stranger. And, I don't think the pizza calories hurt him when he probably went days withour eating, I'm sure he was thankful that someone was kind enough to care about him, when he probably lost all hope of decent human beings. When I went to the store, I barely had any money and was getting essentials, but he asked for twenty cents to get some food and when i offered, he asked for chicken, so I got the premade chicken wings, rolls and a bottle of water. As tight of a budget I am on, he needed it more than I did. He was very happy and thankful, that is face lit up. It melted my heart and made my troubles seem petty.

I know what you mean. When I got the guy pizza, I was on my way to the pizza place because my 2 year old was in hospital with a kidney infection, and I had had a really stressful week and I hadn't got out to buy any food in 2 days, and it made me think, hey, this guy has it so much worse, all day every day. He needs it more than me.

HMonsterX

The main thing that bugs me, and makes me feel inclined to comment, is when someone who is clearly new and green to this fat loss malarkey makes a thread asking something like "Does my water with juice in count towards my daily intake", and there are several replies saying no.

That is clearly factually inaccurate, and will give that new person the wrong idea. Sure, there are some things, such as eating exercise calories, that work differently for different people, and there is no "right way". But things like that water question is very simple, and wrong information is being given out.

If people post saying things that work FOR THEM, fair enough. When they say it like its a fact, that's when people get involved to correct them.

LorinaLynn

I don't think I really argue much ( my husband would disagree! :laugh: ) but I'll voice my opinion if I believe strongly about something.

I hate to see people struggling, and I think a lot of people make things a lot harder than they have to. I've made tons of mistakes through my life, and I'd like to help people avoid pitfalls I might have fallen into. Or pitfalls that I avoided because someone else made me aware of them. I see it a lot on my dating site - people trying to make force a relationship when two people are incompatible - and see it a lot on here - people thinking that severely limiting their calories is the way to go, or beating themselves up over a piece of cake. Or beating someone else up over a piece of cake.

If I can help someone look at things a little differently, and make their lives easier, my work is done.

123456654321

because they want to make sure it is done in a healthy manner, so people don't get sick or die.

Some people do it because of this. Others just like to feel clever.

For me it's like 80/20.

For the most part, I share my opinions to help others and I rely on counter opinions so that I can learn a thing or two......Sometimes though, it's just fun to have a laugh. It is the interwebz after all.

*That said, I think there are a lot of overly sensitive people here on MFP. I don't consider a lot of the differing opinions going back and fourth "arguing"

cownancy

Because we are hungry.

I NEVER considered this, but I bet that is EXACTLY the reason! Hilarious!!!!! PERFECT response. I agree, agree, agree!!!!!:laugh:

cownancy

I had this today, someone nosied in my diary, I might add after pushing me to open it about a week ago, and then was really critical despite knowing I had posted that I wasn't feeling well, been quite down, and broke down during training this week. So ye I took a day off, I went 100 cals over big whoop! Leftvme feeling like I should leave here tbh. Am feeling better this aft but really upset me this morning.

You look amazing! What a wonderful transformation! Congratulations on your success!

withchaco

It really depends. Some people criticize others because that's how they make themselves feel better about themselves.

Others do it because they "know" they're right, and they want the rest of the world to acknowledge them.

Similar but different case is when someone gets passionate about something (like eating your burnt calories, for example) and they want the rest of the world to acknowledge that something.

Still others do it because they genuinely want to help.

And sometimes, it's a mix of two or more reasons.

I also live by the maxim that you can never be friends with someone who has seen you naked, but that's a whole other forum post...

I grew up in Korea where you go to public bath houses with friends. :laugh: "Hey John, me and Bob are taking a bath today after school; you wanna join us?"

withchaco

Also, to some people, arguments and debates don't have to be emotional or confrontational. For them, it's simply a way to gain new knowledge and learn about stuff, even if that 'stuff' is just the other person's opinion sometimes.

I came across this blog article (IIRC) where someone compared it to Roman gladiators and modern day fencers. When a gladiator gets challenged into a fight, it's a life and death thing. When a fencer gets challenged, it's much more civil. Those who tend to take arguments personally have the gladiator mindset. Those who enjoy civil debates are fencers.