Dating While Big...

rafor

When I met my wife, I was so sick and tired of it all that I decided that if I never got married, I would survive. The day after I made that decision, I met my wife. We dated for a year and got married one year to the day of meeting. Before that, I hadn't been on a date in more than 3 years. When I decided that I could live without a relationship, that was when I found one. Give up...and enjoy being so single it hurts. Make the women who are in relationships with @$$holes jealous because you get to live your life without living up to some jerk's expectations. Make the choice to be fabulously single and love will plow into you.

broadsword7

Hiya,

As a guy who has been divorced going on five or six years (sigh... I lose track of time), and as someone who was very overweight for much of that time, I have noticed how differently people behave toward me since I have lost weight. It's like all of a sudden I am being noticed. The woman coming out of the store when I am coming in smiles. People start conversations with me, and not the other way around. Etc, etc. And it struck me how I am the SAME person inside I have always been. I have kind of mixed emotions about that. I think the poster who said dating is hard, big or small, has a very valid point. Just the word "dating" sort of makes me think of work and cringe, lol. I know, I know...with that kind of attitude, I may just stay single for-evah. But you know what? That is okay. The world still has a LOT to offer. So I choose to concentrate on that, and just be who I am, the same ol guy inside I have always been, but with different goals and a different outlook on life. I believe that if someone really cares about who you are and not how you look, then good things will happen. To heck with the rest of em. Feel good about the choices you are making for yourself and the path to good health and the rest will follow. Sorry, just my rambling take on the topic. Hope it somehow makes sense!

kayemme

And it struck me how I am the SAME person inside I have always been.

i would be willing to put money down that you have changed significantly

gdb86

Whether you're small or big, short or tall - if you don't have the confidence to believe you are worth a man (or woman) at whatever size you are then why should someone else? It's all about believing you are worth someone treating you right no matter what! Anyone who isn't interested in a smart, beautiful, woman isn't the right guy. Just wait for the one that is! The problem may be in the fishies in the sea around you - don't blame yourself for that!

I would try online dating for a start (if you're seriously feeling that your city isn't conducive for what you're looking for) be honest about what you look like and also allow someone to get to know you for your mind first. I have so many friends who are in amazing relationships after online dating! It's not for everyone, but it's worth a shot if you haven't tried it.

Everything happens for a reason and when you do find the guy for you, you'll see exactly why other things didn't work out. It brought you to where you were supposed to be

Nina74

Yes, agreed with the same poster, but in the reverse. So often I feel invisible because people will shrink back or avoid me just because my weight. You know that look in their eyes where they avoid you. It has really effected my confidence because I know inside I rock, but people make a snap second judgment and don't even give you a chance if you are bigger. So, I sympathize with the OP and say I am there and I feel your pain! Hang in there!

ama2414

Whether you're small or big, short or tall - if you don't have the confidence to believe you are worth a man (or woman) at whatever size you are then why should someone else? It's all about believing you are worth someone treating you right no matter what! Anyone who isn't interested in a smart, beautiful, woman isn't the right guy. Just wait for the one that is! The problem may be in the fishies in the sea around you - don't blame yourself for that!

I would try online dating for a start (if you're seriously feeling that your city isn't conducive for what you're looking for) be honest about what you look like and also allow someone to get to know you for your mind first. I have so many friends who are in amazing relationships after online dating! It's not for everyone, but it's worth a shot if you haven't tried it.

Everything happens for a reason and when you do find the guy for you, you'll see exactly why other things didn't work out. It brought you to where you were supposed to be

This is so awesome. Thank you- it's exactly what I needed!

boomboom011

i have to disagree. when i was my heaviest 200 i had more men hit on me than i do now. As a matter of fact I cant remember the last time i got hit on by a guy.

I think it doesnt matter what size you are. I have skinny and not so skinny girlfriends that all complain about the same thing.

StarGeezer

I let a good number of years pass me by, largely due to a huge problem with self-confidence. When I "broadcast" a more confident attitude, even though I was a "big man", I seemed to be able to naturally attract women who found that attribute to be appealing. This had its good and bad aspects. Some of those I attracted were amazingly hurtful, and they left their cumulative marks on my psyche. I eventually "took myself out of the game", insulating myself against the possibility of that level of emotional bombardment, but also depriving myself of finding anyone capable of rising to the occasion and being a superior human being.

I decided I'm no longer content to allow myself to simply be a spectator to my own life. I'm not merely "half a person" looking for another half to "complete me." I'm a whole person, content and confident in my own right, but open to the possibility of finding another whole person to enjoy and experience life with.

Convey confidence, be comfortable and content with your "singleness", and be open to those opportunities that come your way to find special individuals who appreciate you for being you and not merely a trophy or an object. Most of all, remain positive. Good things will come your way, I'm certain.

chedges9090

I agree with everyone about confidence in yourself. And, your profile pic-- you look absolutely beautiful BTW ! But, one other thing that was kind of touched on.. Let's all be honest. We all have certain types of people we like. Some of us like serious people, some of us like funny people. with some of us , money is important.. or we only like people who don't have kids-- Christians/Jewish/Athiest. So.. there are people out there who aren't attracted to us when we are heavier.. but, there are some who DO We all make some choices about those we want to date.

Remember that you ARE a great person inside and out. Go on about your life and do things that make you happy and are important to you. You will be surprised at who shows up! And, that person will like you for who you truly ARE!

Good Luck.

LolasEpicJourney

There are a lot of "chubby chasers" out there. I met my husband at about 270s (and got bigger from there). We've been together for about 5 years. It can be more difficult - yes. But I think it doesnt really matter your size because I have a lot of thin pretty little dainty friends who are way older than me and have been single most of the time Ive known them (and they have been looking)

ceannesjourney

Here's a great idea! Since WE ARE SOCIETY, why don't WE change the rules??? Why don't WE decide that size/looks aren't the most important thing for attraction???

If we do that, then the media will have to follow--WE rule!

voluptas63

Personally, I've NEVER had trouble dating. Even at my largest. It's all in your attitude; not your pant SIZE. (of course what's in your pants matters but that's another subject - another day!