Poor female self-image caused by?

_David_

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

ket_the_jet

As nice as it is to have a single scapegoat, why can't there be more than one reason to more than one person?
-wtk

cpegasus01

I totally agree with your side of that arguement. Women should have a little meat on them. But they need to be healthy just like men do. Men don't need to be super jocks with muscles out the wazoo either. Just fit and toned for both sexes.

Iamfit4life

significant other and I actually got into a conversation about something similar tonight.

The idea of what men think is hot, and models.
Two totally different things.


Models are what women think we need to look like, because it's shoved down our throat. I think at times it can be a bit irresponsible.
They show us pictures of some woman who just had a baby and put it on US Weekly "HOW SHE LOST THE WEIGHT" well, she has a trainer and a dietitian and it's her job to be a size zero.

I went NUTS trying to do that, trying to look like that.
Women are very very hard on themselves.
I wish the modeling industry would use women who look more "average" in figure.

stefchica

the only reason why people feel crappy about themselves or self image is because: they feel like crap from carrying around excess weight or two, EVERYONE feels the need to be the "ideal" image due to MANY MANY YEARS of the sterotypical perfect image. yes it is great to feel healthy and be in shape and just do it for you, but its sort of hard to feel good about yourself when you have media images of nothing but hot bodies plastered everywhere and then when a "normal" celebrity comes unders scrutiny over how theire celulite is getting out of control, it gets annoying. you either succumb to that image or you can become an individual and just ignore the hype about looking good and sexy in everything you do and wear. i would say females are just more under pressure to look better now then say 50 years ago. but still back then, in every age, overweight people were made fun of and that can cause self esteem issues now but its more so now than before.

ajbeans

Well, if you're going to blame it on the fashion industry, blame it on Twiggy -- she was the first. Before her, all the models were curvy. Then she came along and was so different that everyone wanted to be like her. :noway:

But I don't think it's a single reason, or a single person. Poor body image and the quest for the perfect body have been around for millennia. If they hadn't, women wouldn't have been lacing themselves into bone corsets that restricted their breathing, or squeezing their feet into too-small boots, or binding their feet, or wearing those horrible bustles on their dresses.

dsjohndrow

Replying before you get reported again!

I just want woman to look as good as my wife. But she is the only one! What I find sad is that my daughter is in fashion, and her sister got into the 800 calorie treadmill runs everyday and living on salad. Worse, they are both smart kids which has way more value in the long run. Our role models are screwed up!

Eating disorders seem to be a control thing. It basically says this part of my life I can do what I want with, and you (whatever authroity) can't make me do anything. Of course it ends up in addictive behavior.

ButlerMom

the phrase "women should have more meat on their bones" is just wrong...comes off to me like your talking about a cow or other animal...just my inital thought on the topic....

auticus

I think it's a people thing, not a gender thing. Men have as much pressure to look like Hollywood as women do. It's just that men fill a role that is not supposed to complain about it.

I won't lie. One of my main motivators in losing weight and working out is to be attractive to the opposite sex. I was married and ended up divorced because of my weight, and it's hard to find a date when you are overweight and I'm at a point in my life where I'd like a chance too, but I realized I had to work on myself first before that could happen.

Physical image is what western culture fixates on. It is, in my opinion, the single most important facet in your life when it comes to socializing as it represents what people can tangibly see.

So I'd say poor female self image is caused by the same things as poor male self image... we are bombarded with images of what people are "supposed to look like" on tv and in the movies and on magazines, so that if you fall short of that (which 95% of us do) you feel that you are not worth as much, and to be fair society as a whole tends to dispose of people that are "less" on a regular basis so that contributes as well.

alyssa92982

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

Iamfit4life

the only reason why people feel crappy about themselves or self image is because: they feel like crap from carrying around excess weight or two, EVERYONE feels the need to be the "ideal" image due to MANY MANY YEARS of the sterotypical perfect image. yes it is great to feel healthy and be in shape and just do it for you, but its sort of hard to feel good about yourself when you have media images of nothing but hot bodies plastered everywhere and then when a "normal" celebrity comes unders scrutiny over how theire celulite is getting out of control, it gets annoying. you either succumb to that image or you can become an individual and just ignore the hype about looking good and sexy in everything you do and wear. i would say females are just more under pressure to look better now then say 50 years ago. but still back then, in every age, overweight people were made fun of and that can cause self esteem issues now but its more so now than before.

I disagree with this. Women who never carried lots of extra weight have the same problem.
But it is in our own heads that we cannot ignore the fact the fashion industry thinks giraffes with boobs look better in clothes than anybody else.

dsjohndrow

I wish the modeling industry would use women who look more "average" in figure.

They actually tried and sales dropped. It's all about adverstising and money.

Kalrez

Photoshop.

No, really. Photoshop.

Every ad, every billboard, every magazine has been heavily 'shopped. It's not obvious (most of the time), so one is lead to believe that those people actually do look like that. Celebrities and other people in the media are used by society as a marker of what one should aspire to be. Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication.

Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach. There are a select number of women who can naturally reach the pedestal. The overwhelming majority of women will find it physically impossible to look like someone off of a magazine cover. Those women on the magazines don't even look like the picture. Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things.

When you set physically unattainable goals, which is essentially what society has done through media outlets, then you're just going to fail over and over. Then you're a failure. Then you hate your body because you're not perfect like women in magazines.

While I think you have a bit of a point on who is controlling the fashion industry, I think that runs secondary to the media's role in setting unattainable goals of beauty for women.

dsjohndrow

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

Fire him!

FairyMiss

i believe women are much more criticaly about womens shape then men.

hpsnickers1

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

It's not the men that make the girls want to look like models. It's stems from the girls head. My man prefers some meat on my bones. And all the men of my past preferred it. You need something to grab onto right? (more cushion for....) I have no interest in looking like a skeleton with skin. Men that only look at the body and are only interested in thin are usually pretty shallow anyway and not worth the time.

BeeElMarvin

the phrase "women should have more meat on their bones" is just wrong...comes off to me like your talking about a cow or other animal...just my inital thought on the topic....

Oh, please... it's an often used phrase. the OP meant nothing by it.

_Ben

As nice as it is to have a single scapegoat, why can't there be more than one reason to more than one person?
-wtk

This.

There is no one pinpoinatble answer. Its a combination of society, media, personal interactions, daily living, jealousy, regret, genetics, instinct, and personal preference

Dtrmnd86

It's definitely women that give women low self image or make themselves think they need to be something better. Luckily I have my fiance to keep me in check and he is to stop me if I get borderline too thin. I don't want that. I want to be healthy. Just like I always say, all those crazy clothes and outfits, women don't dress for men, they dress for women. No guy cares if you're as skinny as some model or if you're wearing the latest fashions. And they would rather have you slightly chunky than stick thin... in my opinion anyways, and from asking plenty of guys. Or women see the way women are sexualized everywhere and *think* that all men want what people are advertising, and if they aren't that, they find themselves "gross".

rml_16

I have yet to meet a man who thinks every woman should look like a fashion model. I certainly don't look like one, and even at my thinnest, I didn't. But I've had plenty of boyfriends and only one every criticized my looks (and he was a mega jerk in so many ways, he doesn't count).

I don't think there's a simple answer to this question, but I very firmly believe that women (in general) are much harsher critics of each other than men (in general) are of women.

lenwie

I think a good proportion of women are to blame, and sad to say I can include myself in that. Its usually women that judge other women on their appearance, size, what their wearing etc, be it through the papers, magazines or just general girlie gossip in the office or with friends. We're our own worse enemies I think, we feed the believe that we are unattractive or not worthy ourselves alot of the time.

BeeElMarvin

Point being, that many, if not most men, do not prefer extremes - either extremely thin or extremely heavy. Men do not control the modeling / fashion industry - if we did, they would have bigger, lusher boobs (oops, can I say that word?) and butts (oops, can I say that word?).

darsh11

Poor Self image is caused by many things. The first is not having enough confidence in yourself no matter what your size. I have always seen myself as fat compared to other people that I was hanging out with, but they always saw themselves as fat as well. I am now realizing that the media and "thin is in" mentality only seems to make peoples self confidence worse. Women always feel like they have to live up to higher expectations than men. We feel we are judged first on our looks, then on our intelligence, and if we are not all super models then we are not perfect in our eyes. After talking to many men about what they find attractive in a woman, they say they like a woman with curves, but more than anything confidence. If they are confident then their size matters less to them. I think the focus should be on a healthy, active lifestyle and a toned body not being rail thin. I have a 4 year old daughter and I want her to see her mom has healthy, active, and fit. I would rather have an athletic body that has great muscle tone than a very thin body that looks weak.

quara

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

I don't know if you know about this, but have you heard of the model Andrej Pejic? (http://models.com/models/andrej-pejic) He is an androgynous fashion model who works as both a male and female. While I think that is pretty cool in it's own way, it's kind of sad that a male's form is the ideal woman's body (at least by fashion standards).

grassette

There are two issues here: one is the body image and lifestyle promoted by magazines, which is essentially anti-female. The other is the obesity epidemic, where we eat too much of the wrong things. Both are industries: industrial food on one hand; pharmaceuticals, fashion, and the weight loss industry on the other. We also have jobs that break down our bodies because they do not have us move enough, and entertainment (TV, Computer) which prolong sitting, which is very unhealthy.

The solution? Clean living. A healthy spirituality. And a rejection of gluttony and sloth as components of our lifestyle. Living consciously and with intent.

rml_16

I think it's a people thing, not a gender thing. Men have as much pressure to look like Hollywood as women do. It's just that men fill a role that is not supposed to complain about it.

I won't lie. One of my main motivators in losing weight and working out is to be attractive to the opposite sex. I was married and ended up divorced because of my weight, and it's hard to find a date when you are overweight and I'm at a point in my life where I'd like a chance too, but I realized I had to work on myself first before that could happen.

Physical image is what western culture fixates on. It is, in my opinion, the single most important facet in your life when it comes to socializing as it represents what people can tangibly see.

So I'd say poor female self image is caused by the same things as poor male self image... we are bombarded with images of what people are "supposed to look like" on tv and in the movies and on magazines, so that if you fall short of that (which 95% of us do) you feel that you are not worth as much, and to be fair society as a whole tends to dispose of people that are "less" on a regular basis so that contributes as well.

Not just Western culture. It's pretty much universal. It's just that different cultures have different physical ideals.

Phatdaddymike

Then i guess some people should have more brain cells in their head...but dont take it personal....i mean nothing by it.......

Phatdaddymike

if anyone basis any part of their life on Hollywood then they need to get a life..thank God i dont watch or read the trash that comes out of there

babyblake11

you know what i think everyone should be like? as fit and as healthy as they can be.

Brandicaloriecountess

Advertising Industry gets my vote. And you're right fashion also.

fbmandy55

There are many factors. An over-bearing mother that nags at a daughter about her weight, an abusive partner, hollywood, disease, mental illness..

For me it was first my mother, who worked out with a trainer most of my teen years and when her body didn't cooperate she had plastic surgery. She brought up my weight weekly and that just made me want to rebel more. She is more or less Celia from Weeds. :laugh: Then after I graduated from high school, I did end up losing a significant amount of weight, it was not healthy. I lived off of cheese, crackers and yogurt and would eat maybe once a day. I gained around 50lbs with my pregnancy and my ex did not like it. That turned into a couple years of all kinds of abuse. I had zero self esteem because I believed everything he said to me, I didn't care what I looked like and I ate for comfort. It took me ditching him, focusing on my job, child and self to get here.