Poor female self-image caused by?
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Where to begin?! There are so many reasons...
Eating disorders have very little to do with weight so much as a sense of control and empowerment. A very close friend of mine developed an eating disorder around 17...did one thing set her off? No... she had watched her mother diet for years, she had been put on diets starting at a young age, she had be sexually assualted as a preteen, there had been a lot of emotional and sometimes physical abuse from BOTH parents and she was put down a LOT...especially by her mother. Her parents divorce and the drama that surrounded it was the final straw but it was a long time coming and combination of things.
I had problems myself as a teen girl and it wasn't ONE thing it was LOTS of things. Yes the media played a role but so did my friends, my family, guys....
Her and I are 25 now. She's a married mother of two and I'm a single mother of 1. We both have daughters and we are VERY AWARE of what they might go through. Our daughters prompted both of us to lose weight in a HEALTHY manner. We don't want to be thin...we want to look and be healthy and strong. "Strong is the new skinny" We're trying to set healthy life style examples for our daughters.0 -
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Thank you for putting it back up! :flowerforyou:
Yes ...thank you!0 -
i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.
now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause
I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.
There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.
I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.0 -
I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery
me TOO! And, I would be ok with it, if he told ME how hot, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, etc. he thought I was, too. Everyone else tells me all of the time, but he's the only one that matters....0 -
There was a study done a few months back (I heard about it from the Dan Savage Podcast) about what kind of porn guys will watch, specifically an underweight/low healthy BMI to high healthy BMI/overweight, guys watch porn with bigger women, hands down was the end conclusion.
The other thing to consider though, a lot of those guys are watching porn about bigger girls but not dating them, guys are also feeling pressure from friends to date thin girls.
What really bothered me about this post, no offense to the OP, but the assumption that eating disorders are to make a person's body appealing to OTHER people. Eating disorders often stem from trauma, and skewed vision of what one looks like, it has very little, at least my eating disorder, had very little to do with society.
^^^THIS. All the way this. I did not see what others saw when I struggled. I did not see the skin and bones you all saw. I saw a girl who could still stand to lose. It clearly had nothing to do with anyone else's image, but my own.0 -
YOUR eating disorder may have come from trauma but look at society and tell me that they have all had traumatic experiences and now the are underweight and unhealthy...There was a study done a few months back (I heard about it from the Dan Savage Podcast) about what kind of porn guys will watch, specifically an underweight/low healthy BMI to high healthy BMI/overweight, guys watch porn with bigger women, hands down was the end conclusion.
The other thing to consider though, a lot of those guys are watching porn about bigger girls but not dating them, guys are also feeling pressure from friends to date thin girls.
What really bothered me about this post, no offense to the OP, but the assumption that eating disorders are to make a person's body appealing to OTHER people. Eating disorders often stem from trauma, and skewed vision of what one looks like, it has very little, at least my eating disorder, had very little to do with society.
Sorry, my eating disorder, the eating disorders of the girls in my group sessions/and other friends have a connection to having sexual abuse/rape in our history, eating disorders are a common consequence of such a thing. A true eating disorder is a distorted sense of self image, seeing only fat when looking in the mirror, it has nothing to do with the way other people see them, it's psychological. Maybe YOU should look at society and see how rampant sex crimes/childhood trauma against women are, might make what I've said make more sense. I never said all eating disorders stemmed from trauma, I said often.
mine wasn't sexual abuse, but emotional abuse and I felt I needed some control over something in my life. I didn't do it for looks or leers or gawkers or to look better than anyone else - obviously.... I had no one else in mind, except myself when I went through those phases. Its still not easy. I still have times I have to convince myself to eat. I can't backslide. I've come too far ad am choosing control in a POSITIVE manner, rather than an unhealthy, scary one.0 -
...Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication...
...Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach...
...Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things...
Just my opinion, but that seems very one sided. Photoshop happens on the Calvin Cline adds as well.
If million of abs are attainable for guys through work and dedication, then wafer-thin is just as attainable for women.
The standards are high for both sexes.0 -
i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.
now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause
I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.
There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.
I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.
You don't have to feel bad about appetite loss after a traumatic event. The brain deals with stress in strange ways at times. Posttraumatic stress is a very well documented condition. The loss of appetite is not uncommon in this circumstance. I'm glad you recovered and I hope all is well now.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:
Virtually any trauma, defined as an event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual or causes intense fear, may cause PTSD. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to war combat or to a natural disaster, exposure to other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery, or assault, enduring physical, sexual, emotional, or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict. Although the diagnosis of PTSD currently requires that the sufferer has a history of experiencing a traumatic event as defined here, people may develop PTSD in reaction to events that may not qualify as traumatic but can be devastating life events like divorce or unemployment0 -
media
guess i shouldn't be so happy about that haha. fashion is part of the media of course, but i think the "women and gay guys" thing is way off. unfortunately, it's a male-dominated world just about everywhere, and always has been. 0 -
...Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication...
...Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach...
...Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things...
Just my opinion, but that seems very one sided. Photoshop happens on the Calvin Cline adds as well.
If million of abs are attainable for guys through work and dedication, then wafer-thin is just as attainable for women.
The standards are high for both sexes.
It's a lot harder to get abs than it is to get thin. I know it's not easy for either sex, but it takes a lot more than just hard work and dedication to get abs.0 -
As nice as it is to have a single scapegoat, why can't there be more than one reason to more than one person?
-wtk
This.
There is no one pinpoinatble answer. Its a combination of society, media, personal interactions, daily living, jealousy, regret, genetics, instinct, and personal preference
Both of these things.I wish the modeling industry would use women who look more "average" in figure.
They actually tried and sales dropped. It's all about adverstising and money.
I need you to state your source here, please.
Being a big girl, and into style, I have noticed that a lot of the 'plus sized' models who are modelling the clothing available to me, are what I would describe as smaller than average in size.0 -
Photoshop.
No, really. Photoshop.
Every ad, every billboard, every magazine has been heavily 'shopped. It's not obvious (most of the time), so one is lead to believe that those people actually do look like that. Celebrities and other people in the media are used by society as a marker of what one should aspire to be. Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication.
Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach. There are a select number of women who can naturally reach the pedestal. The overwhelming majority of women will find it physically impossible to look like someone off of a magazine cover. Those women on the magazines don't even look like the picture. Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things.
When you set physically unattainable goals, which is essentially what society has done through media outlets, then you're just going to fail over and over. Then you're a failure. Then you hate your body because you're not perfect like women in magazines.
While I think you have a bit of a point on who is controlling the fashion industry, I think that runs secondary to the media's role in setting unattainable goals of beauty for women.
Yes this----Exactly this....Not only can you blame photoshop on unattainable shape goals, but also unattainable "pretty" goals...flawless skin, big bright eyes, perfect lips.....ALL PHOTOSHOP...
SCREW YOU PHOTOSHOP
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I agree with you "Fit4life" because if you go to other parts of the world say (Brazil) Women feel the need to be "thick" with big booties and what not. So it is all mental, Everyone trys to live up to whatever they believe is "sexy".Here in the states being a stick figure is considered sexy by the Media and the fashion industry. So hence why women try to be that. And actually I have heard some designer say that they want the women skinny because if she is "full figured" It would distract from the clothing.
That's exactly it. In fact, runway models have to be smaller than print models because they want them to just basically be hangars for the clothing. The standards for runway models are dangerous, they want them so thin. Those are the ones who end up dying from anorexia complications.
For me, I want to be thin and healthy-looking, but I don't want to be a stick. I couldn't be, anyway. I will always have hips and boobs, no matter how much I weigh. But I LOVE those curves. I wouldn't like to be straight up and down like some women. It isn't something that can be helped, obviously, but I like my basic body shape. I just want it to be a little smaller and less jiggly. :-)
Well, mostly just less jiggly.0 -
Females have poor self-image for many reasons. First, we see what men are looking at. We see the cheerleaders, the woman in men's magazines, the woman men make comments about. These are the reasons we have poor self-image. The media plays a big role because it is always there, in your face. Sex sales and they use it in every way. Movies, sports, etc... you name it. So unlike years ago, we can't get away from it, it is there on a daily basis to remind us exactly how we just don't measure up. Of course, there is the times a sexy lady crosses your path, men get these lusty hungry eyes for, but they are in and out with a passing by. Still plays a role, but just a small portion. Then you have you SO or whatever they are making comments that make you feel bad or let you know exactly how they feel. It stays with you forever! I think the biggest problem is the old saying "It's okay to look as long as you don't touch" NO it is not! I never have felt this statement was true and I never will.
As far as eating disorders go, I truely think it is like any other mental disorder, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, that really screws your way of thinking. Such as what extent you will go to, to be thin or how being extremely thin is beautiful.
Just my opinion0 -
I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.
That's really quite common with depression. I went through that after a really tough breakup. My mother brought me my favorite foods because I wasn't eating and even those made my stomach turn. I was literally living on apple cider for two straight weeks without feeling hungry at all.
But that's different than being anorexic. It's not about body image, it's about being depressed. When I wasn't depressed anymore, I started eating again.0 -
Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.0
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David, I believe that you're on to something here and I agree. I don't even have to add much to your 'argument'. But seldom do you find a man (even if he is gay - nevermind what the movies and TV show them to be like) being critical of what a woman is wearing, for example. It is always the women who have some 'mean' comment and it is always an attempt to cover up an insecurity. I think that we often have a different idea of what 'beautiful' looks like (men and women).0
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I'm one of these people.There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.
But honestly, I had to stop watching TV and reading fashion/beauty/"fitness" magazines. Once I established what is "the norm" (real life and real people) then I stopped looking at magazine and TV as though the people in them accurately represented reality.
The nicest compliment I've gotten in a long time was when my friend told me "you are already built-up" in reference to my higher than average levels of confidence and self-esteem.0 -
I agree with most of the previous posts but I also want to make note that there are some women who are personally attacked for being thin. If you don't want people to talk **** to you for being over weight you shouldn't talk **** to girls that are thin. There is a huge difference between being thin and healthy and being so thin its unhealthy. Skinny girls aren't to blame. Its SELF esteem aka it stems from you. No one else can control how you feel, only you can control how you feel.0
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i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.
now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause
I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.
There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.
I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.
You don't have to feel bad about appetite loss after a traumatic event. The brain deals with stress in strange ways at times. Posttraumatic stress is a very well documented condition. The loss of appetite is not uncommon in this circumstance. I'm glad you recovered and I hope all is well now.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:
Virtually any trauma, defined as an event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual or causes intense fear, may cause PTSD. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to war combat or to a natural disaster, exposure to other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery, or assault, enduring physical, sexual, emotional, or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict. Although the diagnosis of PTSD currently requires that the sufferer has a history of experiencing a traumatic event as defined here, people may develop PTSD in reaction to events that may not qualify as traumatic but can be devastating life events like divorce or unemployment
it was seeig my birth father again after 13 years of not seeing him, then leaving. Once I came home from Hawaii, I had NO desire for 2 weeks.0
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