My boyfriend doesn't want me to lose any more weight.

Kissxx

Oh I didnt say hes for breast surgery. He hates it and doesnt want me to get it at all. He does say theyre only their for looks and he doesnt want to touch them if its fake. Im sorry if I started a misunderstanding. I love him dearly and will take his advice with a grain of salt. Instead of doing my usual insanity workout today, I just did some strength exercises.

Scoobies87

Are you a mind reader? No. So do not presume to tell me what I am doing. I came on here to offer my advise to the poster, end of.

I'm not presuming anything. This statement, to me, seemed to be a bit of a sexist generalization:

Eurgh, why do guys preach about surgery and implants then drool all over fake breasted women in FHM!! I don't get it.

Myself and my male friends are not like this. I'm sorry if your experience with men has been different.

I'm sorry if this offended you but I did not mean it that way. It was a passing comment, one which was reflected my own experience with men (which I did type somewhere in the post) Perhaps I should have made that more clear to avoid people getting defensive.

ivyjbres

I understand the guy's point of view completely. And no I am not on the verge of an eating disorder, I am a registered nurse and have seen real ED in the psychiatric unit. I eat what I want when we're out and even indulge in some alcohol once in a while. I dont think Im "skinny" at all. Im just average weight and I think he dislikes that. He liked me because I didnt look like all the other asian girls and I actually had curves but it wasnt attractive to me. I know I'll do what I want and keep going on this journey until I finally reach my goal and be comfortable in my own skin.

Maybe do some extra exercises to build up your booty and pecs to make you boobs look bigger? 7 pounds will always be more noticeable to you than anyone else, so maybe there's a compromise like a shift more towards maintenance where weight loss isn't your focus, but a bonus if it happens?

micahnelson

I'm sorry if this offended you but I did not mean it that way. It was a passing comment, one which was reflected my own experience with men (which I did type somewhere in the post) Perhaps I should have made that more clear to avoid people getting defensive.

Fair enough. I probably shouldn't stress over comments anyway- I hear stress raises cortisone levels and impacts metabolism.

jamie1888

I suggest that you stop focusing on the number on the scale and BMI (BMI is useful for people that have a lot of body fat to lose!). Have your body fat tested and pick a goal for that. Losing the tummy area will come down to reducing more body fat. Your body decides where it will lose the fat from first. So, in your case, your body is saving the tummy for last! Keep eating clean, exercising & strength training. Your body will transform but it does take time!

ninerbuff

While your life is yours, his opinion is actually valid to the point that some females do tend to go overboard. I sometimes gets clients that want to lose more even if it may make them look scrawny to others.
The choice is ultimately up to you. But IMO, your weight is well within reason and you pic shows it. Losing the butt and breasts already mean you bodyfat % is probably low. To get the butt back, incorporate WEIGHTED squats to increase the size of the gluteal muscles. Just doing cardio isn't the most effective way to lose weight. You need strength training to retain lean muscle. Good luck on your decision.

mandylooo

If you want to be superskinny, that is your choice. But I understand your boyfriend. My husband is just like that. They hate these masculine bony Sarah Jessica Parker Types. Totally unattractive. Women look a lot better with curves and some butt.

I agree. Consider whether he's really helping you rather than hurting you the way you suggest. You said he liked you at 140lb - it's kinda cute if he likes you for who are rather than what you weigh.

atsteele

While your life is yours, his opinion is actually valid to the point that some females do tend to go overboard. I sometimes gets clients that want to lose more even if it may make them look scrawny to others.
The choice is ultimately up to you. But IMO, your weight is well within reason and you pic shows it. Losing the butt and breasts already mean you bodyfat % is probably low. To get the butt back, incorporate WEIGHTED squats to increase the size of the gluteal muscles. Just doing cardio isn't the most effective way to lose weight. You need strength training to retain lean muscle. Good luck on your decision.

^^^ This. If you want to change your body shape, it's ultimately your decision. Just don't overdo a good thing and keep all things in balance. Only YOU can allow yourself to be comfortable in your own skin, as you say. And that has nothing to do with body shape but your own self worth.

rockstarginaa

Stop living your life for someone else. You WILL regret it eventually.

Amen.

Espressocycle

I'm with your boyfriend on this one. I just think women look better in a 25 bmi, and are more fun to have diinner with to boot. If you already look good and feel good, why are you still losing? I don't think you have an eating disorder, but you may be falling into a trap common to women (and some men) of using the feeling of control brough about by dieting to fill another type of void.

messyinthekitchen

I think he just a little worried because your BMI is healthy but will it be at 110lbs?? He shouldn't have stated he liked you better before. And it's smart to count olive oil thats 120 calories. I see his side of things and I myself would take it into consideration but at the end of the day you got to do what is going to make you happy and what will make you feel good. If you think you'll be happy at 115lbs and more toned then switch it up, maybe get p90x.

SoDamnHungry

Maybe it's not the weight loss and more the lifestyle? Watching people count and limit calories for months is exhausting. Aim for what you want, but do remember to be healthy. 115 and toned sounds fine for someone that's 5'2''. Remember that this is about your health, and as long as you're healthy he should respect it.

ennaejay

You know what, you may want to pick up New Rules of Lifting for Women. It might shed some light on how you view yourself, and offer some balance to what you've learned so far.

You may have to re-learn some things to be happier in your own skin. I suggest what you want isn't to be thinner, but to be fit.

Go for TIGHTER, not lighter. Pick up the book and give it a read, you'll find something worth holding on to. It's not gospel truth but it's really eye-opening with a ton of good lifestyle plans about how our bodies are designed, and how to work with our genetics.

LMP1979

Just to offer some additional thoughts: There's a difference between always asking someone for their opinion (maybe he is getting asked opinions alot and you don't realize it) vs someone always obsessing over giving their thoughts to you on how you should be. If a person asks another for their opinion and receive an honest answer, they cannot be blamed for that - they were asked.

If it were me I just would drop telling him the weight numbers as it's only 5 lbs or so, but talk about being healthy, feeling healthy and being fit. If he really is only stuck on your looks - you may find he will be just another boyfriend!

Be happy and confident with yourself first. You look great already - you DO realize that, right?!

saugustin07

You can only live for yourself and do what makes you happy. If you want to lose more weight and you have goals go for it. If your boyfriend cares about you he will love you the when you lose the weight and respect your wishes!