being single stinks

acasey0123
acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
edited October 3 in Chit-Chat
I feel like my weight is a big turn off for guys (im only 10 pounds over weight now :smile:) (i dated a guy who who after 7 months of dating him came around and felt that I wasnt pretty anymore...kinda doesnt help my self-esteem) but when I was single and went to a bar or when I went to college parties (graduated college now) I had a few guys approach me and I'd approach a few guys and we'd talk and they would be real nice but then that was it....I dont dress slutty because I dont have the body for it but why do MOST (not all) guys basically go up to slutty and/or skinny girls...why????? I dont understand :explode:
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Replies

  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    bump!!!
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    you just havent find the right person he will like you for whatever weight you are chin up kid!
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    Well sweetie. . . Perhaps it is just my opinion, but I think that a man should like you for who you are . . . it is not about how much you weigh. . .

    Beauty comes from within. . You can have someone that has a totally rockin bod, but yet is ugly as sin on the inside. . or a person that has a few extra pounds and is the sweetest most generous person ever. .

    Everyone has a different personality and what makes then tick. . . You will find that person that is just a perfect fit for you when the time is right. . Meanwhile just enjoy being you. . .
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    I used to think my weight was a big turn-off. It can be, but I see larger women with guys all the time.
    I think you need to make yourself more approachable - not necc. by being slutty though. Take care with your appearance but LOOK at guys and smile. Let them know you are open to being approached.

    I think guys are as afraid to approach girls as girls are to approach guys. The slutty girls might take that fear down a notch since they are advertising that they can be approached.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles sight. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    Don't discount bible thumpers, jade39. They may just wanna hit it too.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    Well and women of all shapes and sizes dress slutty.
  • Shausil82
    Shausil82 Posts: 218 Member
    Guys won't even approach me because I'm overweight. I'm just starting to get a few looks from guys now that my weight loss is visible, but, I still have 20 more pounds to go. I've given up dating until I've lost my weight. Right now is ME time, LOL.

    The right guy will want you regardless. He will just want you to be happy and healthy, and he will support you in anything you do. Guys like that are out there....or so I've heard, LOL.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles sight. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    Don't discount bible thumpers, jade39. They may just wanna hit it too.

    No I understand that too. . Just saying that one should be selective no matter where you are. . If men are only looking at you for your body and not as a person.. than personally I would keep searching.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    Well and women of all shapes and sizes dress slutty.

    Jeez, I can't seem to disagree with you tonight.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles sight. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    Don't discount bible thumpers, jade39. They may just wanna hit it too.

    No I understand that too. . Just saying that one should be selective no matter where you are. . If men are only looking at you for your body and not as a person.. than personally I would keep searching.

    Initially that is what MEN and WOMEN look at. If you think differently you are lying to yourself. And that's ok. It's natural.
    Being attracted to somebodys outward appearance isn't a sin. If you can eventually become attracted to the person inside, awesome.
    But again let's be honest.


    And that ISN'T to say that a man cannot be attracted to the outward appearance of somebody who is overweight or thinks they are overweight.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I like all kinds of girls.

    I just find I have a lot more in common if they're into health and fitness.

    My last gf was cute, pretty thin, but smoked. Didn't do anything active with me, didn't go for jogs daily at camp, etc. Didn't really work out.

    There's one girl at work who isn't in great shape, I said it in a thread a few days ago. Probably 30lbs overweight or more, but shes super-fun. Always happy, always in a great mood, never gets stressed and frustrated like the other ladies. Those are very attractive qualities, despite the fat that she's not physically what I'm used to going for.

    Different guys are after different things.

    I'm still waitin to find one who's into wearing costumes and Ernest movies. Then maybe I'll settle down.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    People who attend church aren't better. We're all just people.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    People who attend church aren't better. We're all just people.

    NO!! Us guys are ALL just raging horny monsters targeting all the slutty skinny girls in the world!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    And to the OP...
    A suggestion(and I don't want to sound rude) but do you seem unconfident? A lot of people find confidence and a winning smile VERY attractive despite the weight.

    10lbs is not much.

    Don't dress like a "slut" but pick a favorite body part and hightlight it.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles sight. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    Don't discount bible thumpers, jade39. They may just wanna hit it too.

    No I understand that too. . Just saying that one should be selective no matter where you are. . If men are only looking at you for your body and not as a person.. than personally I would keep searching.

    Initially that is what MEN and WOMEN look at. If you think differently you are lying to yourself. And that's ok. It's natural.
    Being attracted to somebodys outward appearance isn't a sin. If you can eventually become attracted to the person inside, awesome.
    But again let's be honest.


    And that ISN'T to say that a man cannot be attracted to the outward appearance of somebody who is overweight or thinks they are overweight.

    No I have just been around long enough to know that I want far more from a relationship than just looks. . . and there are a lot of really sweet kind guys out there.. . .

    and FOR THE RECORD. . . I have had just as much male attn since I gained weight as when I was 137lbs. . .So I know for a fact it is not about your size, but who you are. . .

    There are always going to be those that look at people from a superficial standpoint, but that is just not the whole package.
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    People who attend church aren't better. We're all just people.

    Lots of people attend church so that they can feel better about their slutty ways.

    I am not a newlywed and I can't tell you that it's better than being single.

    The grass is always greener.
  • 1_up
    1_up Posts: 1,414 Member
    I feel like my weight is a big turn off for guys (im only 10 pounds over weight now :smile:) (i dated a guy who who after 7 months of dating him came around and felt that I wasnt pretty anymore...kinda doesnt help my self-esteem) but when I was single and went to a bar or when I went to college parties (graduated college now) I had a few guys approach me and I'd approach a few guys and we'd talk and they would be real nice but then that was it....I dont dress slutty because I dont have the body for it but why do MOST (not all) guys basically go up to slutty and/or skinny girls...why????? I dont understand :explode:

    a lot of guys want the easy score and aren't looking for something long term. If that is the objective, the slutty skinny girls are that mans cup of tea. Now notice I did say "a lot of guys" and not all of them. Great job on the weight loss. Give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone who is looking for more than a good time with a random stranger :P
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I think it's hard for everybody to date. Sometimes being in a relationship stinks.


    Skinny/slutty?

    now that's not very nice.

    THIS. Especially the relationship comment. So true.

    Guys only aim for slutty so we can get some. DUH!

    I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

    People who attend church aren't better. We're all just people.

    Lots of people attend church so that they can feel better about their slutty ways.

    I am not a newlywed and I can't tell you that it's better than being single.

    The grass is always greener.

    Well we won't get into a religious discussion as it is against MFP rules and regulations not to discuss that here. . We will just say you will find good and bad everywhere you go. . . my only advice to the OP is Be selective and know that there is some out there for you that is going to be a great fit and you will find them.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Give it time, I'm sure you'll find someone who is looking for more than a good time with a random stranger :P

    I keep telling myself that, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm with ya, OP. I'm with ya.
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
    And to the OP...
    A suggestion(and I don't want to sound rude) but do you seem unconfident? A lot of people find confidence and a winning smile VERY attractive despite the weight.

    can I rock the confident side and dress like I am confident about myself? yes, but am I that way deep down? no...being dumped because I wasnt pretty anymore kinda made me lose my self-confindence deep inside me that Im slowly gaining back
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    can I rock the confident side and dress like I am confident about myself? yes, but am I that way deep down? no...being dumped because I wasnt pretty anymore kinda made me lose my self-confindence deep inside me that Im slowly gaining back

    Fake it until you make it!

    :heart:
  • yummy♥
    yummy♥ Posts: 612 Member
    so riddle me this...
    i have the body, i am willing to dress slutty and i'm in a relationship.
    why the hell am i still not getting any?
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    And to the OP...
    A suggestion(and I don't want to sound rude) but do you seem unconfident? A lot of people find confidence and a winning smile VERY attractive despite the weight.

    can I rock the confident side and dress like I am confident about myself? yes, but am I that way deep down? no...being dumped because I wasnt pretty anymore kinda made me lose my self-confindence deep inside me that Im slowly gaining back

    Hon. . don't buy into that though just because someone said such a thing. . you ARE beautiful. . . Sounds like the issue was your boyfriend. . . not you. . .

    Take it from someone that went through a marriage with mental abuse. . someone that told me that I couldn't get anyone better than him. . and I left and you know what. . . . the things he said were crap. . .People in this world can be cruel sometimes. . whether its men or women. . it is what we choose to take from it and how we choose to deal with it that matter. . .
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    And to the OP...
    A suggestion(and I don't want to sound rude) but do you seem unconfident? A lot of people find confidence and a winning smile VERY attractive despite the weight.

    can I rock the confident side and dress like I am confident about myself? yes, but am I that way deep down? no...being dumped because I wasnt pretty anymore kinda made me lose my self-confindence deep inside me that Im slowly gaining back
    Keep feeling that confidence you are gaining back. I feel for you because I know that it is tough, especially when you are not comfortable with the way you look.
    Get busy working on you, get busy working on getting that confidence. Get yo' swagger on. And you know what. You won't be looking.. but that confidence is going to give you a glow. Men cannot resist that glow.

    (atleast I don't think they can, lol)
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    so riddle me this...
    i have the body, i am willing to dress slutty and i'm in a relationship.
    why the hell am i still not getting any?

    wtf
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    so riddle me this...
    i have the body, i am willing to dress slutty and i'm in a relationship.
    why the hell am i still not getting any?

    wtf

    Sounds like something that needs to be discussed with her better half. .
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    so riddle me this...
    i have the body, i am willing to dress slutty and i'm in a relationship.
    why the hell am i still not getting any?

    'Cause we're not hanging out :wink:
This discussion has been closed.