need advice for my 12 year old

NoAdditives

My Sons pediatrician told me my son was 3% overweight. He just turned 3 years old....

Hes very active at school all day and I only send him with a healthy lunch and he has healthy snacks at school...

Idk what else to do.... everytime we go in hes still 3% overweight.

Hes 3.... Theres no way I can make him understand that. Lol.

At this age you don't need to worry too much. It's concerning, so you need to make sure you're making healthy choices for him (which it sounds like you are), but beyond that his body is going to do what it wants to do. It doesn't necessarily make him unhealthy and it doesn't mean he'll have a weight problem later on.

My 17 month old has always been in the 90th percentile for weight, or above. The same has been true for his height and his head has always been off the chart. He's a big boy with lots of muscle. He's got a little toddler chub but he's not unhealthy. He spends all day running around (unless he's taking a nap) and 95% of the food my family eats is healthy. So I know he's not fat, he's just big. (He weighs three pounds less than his almost three year old sister, he's less than 6 inches shorter and they both wear size 9 shoes.)

If your son is just big, I wouldn't worry. You can't really figure a BMI for a toddler and even if you could, it wouldn't be accurate. Kids come in all shapes and sizes, especially when they're little. Your son needs to eat as much as his body tells him to and if it's healthy foods he's eating there's nothing wrong with him eating a lot. Some toddlers are skinny, some are big and muscular. Obviously, a muscular kid is going to be heavier and there's nothing wrong with that. Boys are often big and heavy because they have denser bones and bigger muscles. And from the pictures on your profile your son doesn't look overweight at all, so I really wouldn't worry.

Yea my son has always been in the 95% for his weight and his height and his head is above average and always will be because when he was under a year old he had access spinal fluid around the front of his brain. Hes gotta slim stomach and muscular everywhere else. His doctor just seems to bring this up EVERYTIME he has an appointment and I just look at her like "Are you serious?!" lol. I have a hypothyroid issue myself so ive even had him tested and THANK GOD at the moment his levels were fine.

I didnt think I had anything to worry about but his dr makes me feel really bad.

Thank you for the advice. )

I hate when doctors look at weight and don't take height and head size into consideration. One pediatrician my daughter saw was overly concerned about her weight when she was 9 months old. Yeah, her weight was 96% and her height was 50%, but as soon as she started walking she had growth spurt and those percentiles flipped. Since then she's been tall and skinny. I was never worried because she was a baby and she wasn't overeating. So that's something that just bugs me. I honestly wouldn't worry about your son if his height and weight seem proportional. Weight is just a number and it doesn't mean anything until it's put into the proper context. If he's taller than average his weight should be above average as well. 3% isn't much and at this point there isn't a whole lot you can, or should do to make him lose weight. Keep up with the healthy eating habits and he should be just fine!

arw060310

Well, I don't have children, but I once was a child. Growing up we had mealtimes, and snack times. Up until high school graduation that's what we had. It didn't matter if we were "growing kids" or anything, we never ever would have been allowed to get thirds at our meals! We were allowed to get seconds on veggies ONLY. Because with snacks, we never needed seconds on our meals. I never felt starved, I never felt deprived. And i was always a normal weight.
As for being sedentary, we were never inside. We grew up without tv/video games so we were always outside playing. If you find that your child is more likely to sit inside in front of the tv playing video games, then take away the video games or get rid of the cable!

curvygirl512

Please keep in mind that "diet" refers not only to limiting what we eat, but to our food choices--what and how much. In addition, your son is 12--right on the cusp of puberty. At least in part, his body is likely reserving extra energy stores to use as his body matures. Of course, explaining this to your son doesn't make the tears go away, or make it any easier for him to take the comments. Perhaps if you explain that he's a growth spurt in progress, he'll have something to be proud of. Good luck.

Kcinnamon

What we've been doing with my ten year old daughter is making a salad to eat before dinner (she likes the dole southwest salad kit) then she eats her dinner, and if she still wants more, she has to have seconds on her fruit or veggie first. Needless to say, she doesn't eat seconds very often anymore cause she fills up on the good stuff.

stephyy4632

don`t give the option of 2nds or 3rds make everyones plate with a propper serving of food and thats the meal. My family hates leftovers so I`ve been doing this for along time now and have making portions down to a science now for each person lol but it dose take alittle extra work on your part making the plates up for everyone and messureing (also checking what they need nutrition wise since kids are still growing and need calories to do so).

Also don`t call it exercise pull out a ball and play Kids LOVE LOVE LOVE to play and be active especialy with a parent so my advice is play with them.

gdortiz

i was an overweight as a kid, but i was still active and not to toot my own horn, but i was pretty good at all sports, however no matter how active i was i never lost weight.

it was because of my parents and the bad eating habits they gave me.

i would change how you feed him. one meal, that's it. big breakfast, NO SODA OR CANDY ON WEEKDAYS.

sounds like your son is not active and that is a double whammy. try getting him in team sports as well, that is good for confidence.

gdortiz

I am a mom of a little one and was thinking about what I would do in this situation. First I would make sure my daughter and I are exercising and playing together each day so she gets the recommended 1 hr of activity that kids are supposed to. Secondly, 12 years old is plenty old enough to begin to learn about nutrition and meal planning. I was cooking dinner for my family at 12 years old. I would give my kid some responsibility for meal planning and sit down together and talk about some healthy options he will eat. Bring him to the grocery store with you and allow him to choose the fruits and veggies that your family will eat. If a picky eater picks out the choices, then he will have options he likes and won't deny later on. Good luck!

great advice ...

NoAdditives

What we've been doing with my ten year old daughter is making a salad to eat before dinner (she likes the dole southwest salad kit) then she eats her dinner, and if she still wants more, she has to have seconds on her fruit or veggie first. Needless to say, she doesn't eat seconds very often anymore cause she fills up on the good stuff.

The Southwest Salad is sooooo yummy! That taco ranch dressing is amazing! I never use the sour cream though, that just seems silly since there's already a ton of dressing. My daughter loves it too, we ate it almost every day while we spent 6 months in a hotel.

Sonchie

My son was over weight until he hit puberty(early at about 11) I had been setting the example for years at this point and he had been eating far too much. I think once he became conscious of it he actually cut himself back. He grew about 4 inches by the time he was 12 and was the same weight as he had been the year or 2 before. He went from 5'3, 145 lbs at 10-11years old - 5'7, 145 lbs at 12 years old....started playing football in 7th grade. By the time he was in highschool he got himself into running cross country and was so thin and lean at about 5'7 135 lbs, which was perfect for his small frame.
My now 13 year old daughter has taken a more conscious effort to her weight also and she is eating less and exercising more. Of course being a girl, she asks me if she is overweight and I ask her how she feels about her weight. If she says shes "fat", I encourage her to make healthier choices. Its easier to tell them no when they are small children, but I think the best thing we can do for them at any age is set a good example.

vinkariz

My daughter is now 27 so what I'm going to share with you comes from a place of a long history with this issue. She was "chubby all her life". I took the approach of not putting her on a diet, encouraging exercise in sports, Karate, dance, swimming etc. etc. She worked hard and enjoyed all of it....never dropping any pounds. I thought I was helping her keep a positive attitude and good body image but I was unaware of how much pain she was in. She hid it well. She watched her girl friends have dates, boy friends, go to proms, wear cute little clothes and run around on the beach in bikinis. We lived in a beach community.....

It wasn't until she was out of college that she decided to hire a personal trainer that she finally lost the weight. She dropped 40 lbs and gained muscle and tone. She was always a beautiful girl but not she's a knock out. She feels so much better about herself. For her it took a lot of exercise and the help of an expert for her to be successful. She followed his diet ( low carb, not no carb, low fat, low sugar) drank a lot of water and worked really hard. He switched up the exercise regulary. I guess doing the same type of exercise over and over doesn't work too well. He had her running, lifting weights, flipping tires, dragging sleds, kick boxing, lots of different things.

So, long story short. I think some of us are not blessed with great metabolisms and need to really do more than most to have it be effective. Can you affort a PT? Even just for an assessment and plan of action? My daughter feels it was the best money she ever spent. Good luck. I know first hand how heart breaking it can be. I cried over the pain I know she had and felt powerless. His tears this morning are a perfect opportunity to really talk to him about how he's feeling. 12 is such a hard age and I'm sorry to say the years ahead are brutal for kids with weight issues. Boys always loved my daughter as a buddy. She would actully go with them to help them buy flowers for thier prom dates while she stayed home without a date. Just heart breaking! Again, best of luck

OliveJuice821

Top tips to promote healthy childhood eating

Have regular family meals. Knowing dinner is served at approximately the same time every night and that the entire family will be sitting down together is comforting and enhances appetite. Breakfast is another great time for a family meal, especially since kids who eat breakfast tend to do better in school.

Cook more meals at home. Eating home cooked meals is healthier for the whole family and sets a great example for kids about the importance of food. Restaurant meals tend to have more fat, sugar, and salt. Save dining out for special occasions.

Get kids involved. Children enjoy helping adults grocery shop, selecting what goes in their lunch box, and preparing dinner. It's also a chance for you to teach them about the nutritional values of different foods, and (for older children) how to read food labels.

Make a variety of healthy snacks available instead of empty calorie snacks. Keep plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grain snacks, and healthy beverages (water, milk, pure fruit juice) around and easily accessible so kids become used to reaching for healthy snacks instead of empty calorie snacks like soda, chips, or cookies.

Limit portion sizes. Don’t insist your child cleans the plate, and never use food as a reward or bribe.

Persuading children to eat more fruit and vegetables

Making mealtimes playful can mean healthier eating for your kids. Here are some fun, creative ways to add more fruit and vegetables to your child's diet:

Top a bowl of whole grain cereal with a smiley face: banana slices for eyes, raisins for nose, peach or apple slice for mouth.

Create a food collage. Use broccoli florets for trees, carrots and celery for flowers, cauliflower for clouds, and a yellow squash for a sun. Then eat your masterpiece!

Make frozen fruit kabobs for kids using pineapple chunks, bananas, grapes, and berries.

Go food shopping with your children. Let them see all the different fruits and vegetables and have them pick out new ones to try.
Try fruit smoothies for a quick healthy breakfast or afternoon snack.

Add vegetables and fruits to baked goods – blueberry pancakes, zucchini bread, carrot muffins.

Add extra veggies to soups, stews, and sauces, grated or shredded to make them blend in.

Keep lots of fresh fruit and veggies washed and available as snacks. Apples, pears, bananas, grapes, figs, carrot and celery sticks are all easy to eat on the run. Add yogurt, nut butter, or tahini for extra protein.

CMmrsfloyd

I would just try cooking and offering more fruits, veggies, and lean proteins in place of things you feel could be contributing to weight issues. That's the whole idea behind weight loss - eat less calories and/or burn more through increased movement. If you replace high-calorie offerings with lower calorie options, even if he still gets seconds and thirds he will be taking in fewer calories b/c of the difference in the things he's eating. I would do this for the entire family and make a point to say that you want the family to eat healthier foods so you can all be healthy and feel great. LOVE the idea of having him teach you what he learns in class. He'll probably love it too. If you have a gaming system that has an option for movement based games (like the Wii or my favorite the X-Box with Kinect), ask him to play those movement based games with you. Kick a ball around outside. Go for a bike-ride together. Explain that moving more helps you feel better and stay healthy. Explain that the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more enjoyable it becomes. And make sure you're offering healthy snacks, too. I know if I go too long between meals, I'm more likely to over-eat at the next meal b/c I feel like I'm starving. Having a snack or two during the day helps me feel satisfied longer.

Lots of great advice has already been given, good luck!

ChantalD75

Thanks all for your replies. There are some great advice that I will try.

ChantalD75

Thanks all for your replies. There are some great advice that I will try.

ChantalD75

Thanks all for your replies. There are some great advice that I will try.

CrzyAte

I have 13 year old twin girls that I guess are a little chunky. They play soccer and are very active so I know exactly where you are coming from. My daughter came to me and told me that a kid in class called her thunder thighs in front of the whole class. While no one laughed (which is awesome) I notice her checking out her thighs in the mirror all the time now. I figure if I don't intervene this is a recipe for an eating disorder for sure. I decided it was time for me to stop trying to figure out how I was going to lose weight and instead how was I going to make my family healthier. I feel if I share with them what I have learned it will help them in the long run. Knowledge is power. I let them have chips but first I ask them to look at how many servings it is and how many calories per serving and ask them to be aware of what they are taking in. I do not keep soda or snacks in the house because I don't want it to be convenient. It's a treat not a daily part of your diet. Some parents feel it is unfair to restrict the kids that don't have a weight problem but I fell it is unfair to allow them to learn unhealthy living. This is all new to me so it is not proven to work but it is what I am trying.

Good Luck!!!

Immaskinnycow

I am a mom of 5 girls. They range in age from 22 to 7. The younger ones are 10, 9 and 7 (she'll be 8 in November). My 7 yr old is in constant motion. She never walks, she hops, skips, runs, slides or flips pretty much where ever she is going. She is tall and very skinny. My 9 yr old likes being outside playing basketball, softball, riding bikes, walking the dogs. She is also tall and slender. My 10 yr old doesn't like to move at all. She likes to find a quiet corner and curl up with a book of any kind. She is tall but heavier than she should be. We have changed our entire lifestyle. This includes our kids and ourselves. The kids don't get 2nds or 3rds at dinner. When I make dinner, it is enough to feed everyone a nice portion and thats it. We dont have sugary snacks, sodas, candy in the house at all. Snacks consist of fruits, veggies, lowfat dip, granola bars, pop corn and such. If the weather is nice (as in not raining) the kids are outside and in motion. They are walking, running, playing and getting healthier everyday. Talk to your son. But in the end, you're the parent. Don't let him sit inside with tv and video games. Let tv and video game time be earned, not an everyday thing he does.

MIMITIME

If you can swing, a Wii would be great for the winter months for indoor activity. I bought a used one on Ebay for $80.00 for my grandchildren and it had all the extras. There is a great dancing segment on the Wii stuff and we all get up and dance. It is a lot of fun and good exercise. I was fat as a child and everyone except my dad stayed on me every minute. Please don't let any one do that to your son as it is something you always remember.

ThinspiredButterfly

i agree with spacemarkus 100 %!! another trick is to eat on small dark plates.eating on dark plates tricks your mind, you eat less.eating on white plates makes you eat 2x more.make him eat a banana and 2-3 glasses of water. i binged alll the time before, but after eating a banana, drinking lots of water and using dark plates hellped me lose 60lbs in a half a year.it really works.try it for a week, and if it doesn't satisfying him, move onto something else :]]

Bluestar083

Ok so this advice is coming from someone who grew up in a family whose parents modelled healthy behaviours-and all 3 of us are healthy, slim and love exercise.
here's what my parents did (and what I am planning on doing when I have kids)
* We never had any 'junk' in the house
* A 'treat' was a smoothie
* We did family things every weekend-bike rides, walks
* We all did sports
* We had a pool and spent most of the summer playing outside and swimming and on the trampoline
* 30 mins of screen time a day during the week
* Small portions. It was not until I went to friends houses I realised this-we used entree size plates
* Dad eats more than Mum. So I serve up my bf more than me. Guys eat more than girls.
* We didn't have to finish our meal

When i moved to the UK and worked as a nanny, the 7 yr old girl was not overweight but was solid. The 9yr old boy was slim. Their old nanny had been giving them adult sized meals and often 'pudding' (dessert) and she had been having a hot chocolate everyday after school. She also did sport at school everyday and walked 2km to and from school.
By the time I left 2 years later she was a slim 9 yr old. Here's what I did
* replaced the hot chocolate with a child sized smoothie (Nudie)
* gave them child sized meals-she complained for a bit but got use to it
* healthier meals
* dessert once a week-and it would be something like yoghurt ice cream with berries.
* when she asked for seconds I would say to her, 'Wait 30min and if your still hungry you can have some fruit.' I think once she was still hungry in two years and had some fruit.
* we got a Wii fit and played games on that in winter holidays, went to the park and rode/skated/played every nice day in summer or indoor playground.
So small changes. Remember YOU are the boss, your child eats WHAT you make and HOW MUCH you say. If your child is overweight YOU need to change it. If he wants more-say no. Tell him to wait. Then if he's still hungry-fruit. Don't give him pocket money to spend on food. These will instill healthy habits in him.

pfeiferfit

I'm a parent of a child who needs to slim down (not fat, but chubby, and we have tendencies towards it) so, I really appreciate this reminder (it's all common sense.)

The one thing I always fought was "dad eats more than mom" - it seemed weird, but when I do a calorie requirement for me, vs a man at my height and weight, dammit it's higher for the man. For whatever reason. So that one I've started to cave on.

For my son, being active as a family is the trick! And the no dessert. I did NOT grow up with healthy food habits, and man I wish I had.